Please, hilarious little joke, hurry! Urgent! Rush 40

One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Ming to get up and ask questions, Xiao Ming has not made a sound since he got up, teacher: Xiao Ming? Xiao Ming? Teacher: Xiao Ming, what's the matter with you, do you know the answer, so squeak! Xiao Ming: Squeak

1. When a train passes through the countryside, the speed is unbearably slow, and it stops endlessly from station to station, and when the train stops at a small station, a passenger jumps off the train and says to the conductor: Can't you go faster?

Conductor: Of course I can, but I can't leave the ** car.

1.Teacher: Why Robin Dranath?

After Tagore's name, it reads 1861-1941? Sloppy: That's Tagore's mobile phone number.

Teacher: Where is the horizontal line in the middle? Sloppy:

He doesn't want to reveal all of his personal information.

20 years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child for being ugly, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's so pitiful, hungry and hairless.

My daughter's geography grades have been very poor, and my mother asked puzzledly, "Is the geography teacher in your class of high level?" The daughter said, "No! When I asked her how far it was from Pakistan to Einstein, she couldn't answer. ”

Hee Hee and Ha Ha are good friends, one day Ha Ha died, and Hee Hee went to worship and said:"Ha ha! You're dead! "

A buddy is constipated, one day in the public toilet for a long time without moving, then I heard a person outside hurriedly run to the next door, slammed the door shut, and then heard a crackling sound, this guy said enviously:"You're so happy, I can't get off after squatting for a long time! "

The next door was silent for a long time, and scolded:"It hurts you, I haven't taken off my pants yet! "

A lame man applied for a job in a company, and the company manager asked him, what are your specialties, and the lame man took a step forward with his left leg and said confidently; I have a long left leg.

The reporter interviewed an old woman! The reporter asked: "What do you think about the random setting off of firecrackers in the city?" Grandmother: "What else can I see?" It's just climbing the window to see ......”

There is a buddy who works in a bank, just worked, teller. One day, I complained about it, and said: **, I met an old lady today, and I had to complain about me, saying that I was ugly, and she forgot the password. . .

There is no more naughty child than my nephew! During the Spring Festival, he hid a small firecracker in one of my cigarettes, and I handed it to a relative who came to pay New Year's greetings and lit a ...... for him

During the exam, a student pulls out the dice and rolls out the multiple-choice answers. Towards the end of the day, he suddenly took it out and shook it again. The invigilator finally couldn't take it anymore: "What are you doing?" The student replied, "I'm doing the calculations." ”

When I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, my classmates saved change and donated money to the disaster area. Once the teacher asked us how much we had saved in class. Xiao Ming said:

I saved five dollars. Xiao Liang said: "I saved ten yuan."

Finally I said, "I'm nine nine to one hundred!" ”

The teacher was very happy to hear this, but I slowly noticed that the teacher's face changed again.

A man saw that after a colleague changed his lover's ** remarks to 10086, he escaped from danger in many emergencies, so he followed suit. One night, the man received his lover ** for the first time in front of his wife, and deliberately let his wife see the caller ID: 10086.

After reading it, the wife immediately snatched the **, scolded the ** coquettish woman, and then scolded her husband: "Are you stupid to be a mother?" As soon as you connect the card, 10086 will call you **, and visit relatives!

The biggest feature of Beijing noodle restaurant is the shouting. When I went to eat noodles that day, I ran to the hall and shouted: "Table 5, two bowls of fried noodles."

After eating, the checkout was a total of 25 yuan and 8 cents, and A said: "Give you 26, don't look for it." Ran Tang took the money and shouted:

Table 5 has a guest tip of 2 cents. The people in the hall looked back at him, and A blushed: "Yes, you should still look for me for those 2 cents."

Ran Tang shouted again: "The 2 cents tip for table 5 is going back again!" ”

One day, I suddenly found out that I had an aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt, and a fifth aunt, but no third aunt. So I went to ask my father: Why don't I have a third aunt? I also thought about it for a while: Could it be that the third aunt died when she was young? My dad said angrily: Your third aunt is your mother.

Sitting on the bus, I sat in the front window seat. Half an hour later, I stuck my head out the window. There is also a buddy in the back row, with his head sticking out of the window.

I shouted to him, "Retract your head." The buddy didn't seem to be a fuel-efficient lamp, and said with cross-eyes

Go, it's your business. I retracted my head, and so did the buddies, and I turned my head and said to him very politely, "Please don't stick your head out the window again."

I stuck my head out the window for the second time. It is estimated that the buddy has special self-esteem, and he thinks that if you can stretch it, I can stretch it too, so he stuck his head out of the window again. I couldn't hold it anymore, I vomited, and the dirt made that brother's face.

The brother screamed wildly, and the friend next to me, with big shoulders and a round waist, said to the brother: "What is your name, people have greeted you." ”

A long time ago, there is a mountain. There is a monk living in the mountains.

One day, he prayed to Guanyin for a bucket and a fork, and when Guanyin heard this, he sent an eagle to deliver the bucket and fork.

When the eagle arrived at the mountain, the monk did not know that it was sent by Guanyin, so he plucked it and burned it to eat.

When Guanyin found out, he was furious and came to the mountain.

She said: "I'll give you a bucket (poke) and give you a fork (insert), and you also pluck my eagle feathers (yin hair, you know.

I laughed. You better stop talking about it before class.

There is a hide-and-seek club at a certain school, and their president has not been found yet.