Ask for super long hilarious jokes, ask for super hilarious short jokes

In a few decades, we will meet and send them to the crematorium, all of them will be burned to ashes, you will be in a pile, I will be in a pile, no one knows anyone, and all of them will be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

A conversation between two little girls who are probably in junior high school was heard on the bus.

A: Hey, did your parents agree with him?

B: Well, my mom agreed, and she thinks he's very good, very honest. My dad was a little reluctant and thought I was too young.

A: What is small? I'm not a primary school student anymore, what are you afraid of?

B: Well, I thought so too.

A: So ??? now?

B: Of course he's staying with us now! My mom started affectionately calling him her son La! Hehe.

A: That's great! I really envy you, my mother is not so open-minded! So where does he sleep at night?

B: Of course you sleep in my room! ^_

A: Huh? Your mom let him sleep in your room?

B: Yes! — The surprised gaze of the occupants ———

A: Tell me how you feel?

B: Feelings? Sleeping with him in my arms feels much more solid than before. Hehe.

A: That's right, that's right! Aren't they tired every day?

B: Well, I thought it was hard at first, but then I got used to it and thought it was pretty good, but he was generally more energetic.

A: Hehe, then you ......Then you usually wear a condom for him, right?

B: Of course I advocate that he should wear a condom My mother also means this, saying that he brought safety but he didn't mean to bring it so originally.

A: No, I feel uncomfortable looking at it with that! When I have it myself, I won't bring it to him! Hehe.

B: It's better to bring it, we must be young, I went to buy him the biggest one the day before yesterday! Now I have to talk for half a day every day before I can bring it to him.

- The strange gaze of the person in the car ———

A: Hey! I'm so envious of you!

What is there to envy? Either so, do you have time for the weekend? Have time to come to my house to play? It's okay to stay in my house.

A: Live in your house? Where do I sleep in your house?

B: Sleep with us, of course?

I'm usually tired at night, and I can rest when you come, so he'll trouble you?

A: Hehe, am I successful?

B: No problem, trust me, I'll be there to guide you.

A: Well, well, just this once.

B: I promise you'll fall in love with him after this time.

- The surprised eyes of the people in the car ———

A: Don't be afraid, if I really like it, I will grind my mother and buy me a purebred Scottish Shepherd.

B: Okay, I bought a pair that happened to be with mine, remember to buy the largest neck cover when buying a dog leash, and buy a few sturdy ball ......

If you want to be crooked, like one to go.

There is a steamed bun shop near the subway station, the business is very good, and there is a train ticket sales point next to the queue every day. Today I was queuing up there to buy steamed buns to eat, and when I was about to get in line, I heard two men behind me say: Dizzy, it turns out that this is a steamed bun shop, selling train tickets......Ah, over there!

If you want thirty-five, I don't have the time to find it for you, so I'll give you one.

The weather is getting so fast, the cool breeze is quietly coming, the blanket should be covered at night, don't freeze your feet, it's okay to talk about bones, that can replenish calcium, don't scold me for being bad, I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival.

My sister has an irregular life, a dull face, and looks old.

That day she went out with my wife and my dad to buy clothes. My daughter-in-law came out trying clothes and my dad said, "Hmm! Not bad. ”

The sales lady next to her continued: "Miss, your brother is really discerning. This dress suits you perfectly. ”

Daddy Beauty! The wife was slightly depressed. Then he took off his new clothes.

My sister picked up a more expensive dress and said, "You must look good in this one, come and try it." ”

The sales lady smiled all over her face and shouted excitedly at my wife, "Let's listen to your mother." ”

Immediately, two people laughed, and one was extremely depressed. After coming back, my sister spent a lot of money on beauty salon beauty.

It's hilarious! In order to prevent relatives and friends from laughing, Jia Ling's next sand sculpture operation was too funny.

A girl took her sister to the bai work car, there were two dogs mating outside, and the sister suddenly pointed to the two dogs and asked the sister: Sister, what are they doing? Her sister said: "They're fighting."

A few of the boys next to him laughed, and the girl turned her head and glared at him. A couple of boys yelled: What's the matter: want to "fight"?

If it's funny, praise it!

Faithful Adjutant Once upon a time there was a general, taken from a very beautiful old woman. Du However, the beautiful old woman is very profligate!!

One day, the general wanted to lead the troops to the battle, but he was afraid that his wife would please his brother, so he tied a chastity belt to his wife.

The general sought out an adjutant whom he considered most faithful, gave the key to the lieutenant, and said, "Keep the key, and hand it back to me when I return." 」

So the general was very relieved to go to the battle, and not long after leaving the city gate, the adjutant quickly chased after him and asked: "Report to the general, you got the wrong key!" 」

Old woman driving.

A traffic policeman stopped a slow train traveling at 20 km/h on the highway. The police found 4 old women in the car, except for the one who was driving, the other 3 were pale and shaking.

The old woman driving the car is nervous: even....I don't even overspeed...

Police: You're not speeding, but you're driving too slowly.

Old woman: But the speed sign is written on the speed"20"Hm.

Police: That's Route 20, not speed!

Old Woman: Oh...The puppet now knows.

Police: Are the three of them alright? Why do you keep shaking?

Old Woman: We just came from Route 200. "...

Two men of faith were chatting in the bar, and one of them said: My wife is really good, he changed my faith. 」

Oh! How did she do it? 」

I didn't believe anything until I got married. I believe that hell really exists. 」

The gas workers fled.

Two maintenance workers from a gas company have just arrived at a home for security checks. After inspecting the last one, the two suddenly proposed to see who would run back to the car first, and the loser would ask for a dozen beers in the evening, and then the two of them ran wildly, running and running...Suddenly, I felt someone behind me panting and running. When I looked back, it turned out that the hostess of the last family was running behind. They stopped and asked if there was something wrong with the woman.

Perseverance Tramp: Kind wife, please give me a little charity...I haven't eaten in days....」

Alas....The fat lady said with emotion: If only I had your perseverance...」

Book of horrors. Xiaoxue asked her father: Dad, are there any scary books? 」

Yes Yes Absolutely. Dad said: There is a book that your dad and I have read for more than 20 years, and I still feel terrible. 」

Yes? No way? Xiaoxue asks: What book will you read for more than 20 years and still find it scary? 」

The avalanche fell and a member of the team fell into a deep ravine. After the horror calmed down, Xiao Chen, a member of the team who escaped the catastrophe, used the walkie-talkie to call his teammates who unfortunately fell into the valley: Xiao Hao, are you still alive? 」

Xiao Chen: Is there anything wrong with your hand? 」

Xiao Hao: It's okay. 」

Xiao Chen: Is there anything wrong with your feet? 」

Xiao Hao: It's okay. 」

Xiao Chen: Is there a way for you to climb up on your own? 」

Xiao Hao: X! I don't think I can help it. I haven't landed yet! 」

126 jokes quite a lot.