What kind of feeling is it to have different opinions from others and dare not say it

I mainly know that I am not capable enough, and most of my opinions are not very mature, so I don't want to say it much, so as not to get into trouble.

Since I was a child, I have heard a lot of important words about interpersonal relationships, maybe I am affected by such words, so now I care a lot about other people's actions, or casually said, I don't know if this is sensitive, I feel that I am always echoing others, after a long time, I don't know my original appearance, in fact, I am quite tired, although I am usually very grinning, giggling, but my heart is really very glassy, of course, it will recover soon. Although he is now in his twenties, he doesn't seem to have stable values, isn't it ridiculous? Maybe it's because I'm naturally timid and don't want to have any quarrels with others.

I am a college student, and I always dare not express my opinions when I participate in club activities and discussions with my roommates. Because I have found that many times, while expressing your own opinions, others will always use their own opinions to deny you, and you will support your own opinions, and in the support and argument of opinions, the atmosphere will become more and more intense, because both sides try to convince the other side, but neither can understand, cannot agree, and finally break up. Because I tried too much, I finally wanted to say, but I didn't know how to express it to avoid the unhappy situation, so I miscarried my idea in hesitation.

It's very tangled, I feel like I'm struggling with myself, whether I say it or not, I have my own bad, and then I'm struggling, and I don't have a chance to say it.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't know how to express his own opinion correctly, and who refutes other people's opinions, and often avoids conflict when he is justified, and is very annoyed afterwards.

I am this kind of person, my mood is easily affected by the people around me, I dare not raise my own opposing voice, I dare not make people angry, and others will involuntarily wonder if it is my own problem when they are angry.

I feel like I'm going to have a social phobia! I've been working hard to change, and when I can hold on to my peace of mind for a week or two at a time, and when I feel a little better, my mood begins to change drastically. Involuntary loss, depression.

I feel that all the efforts I have made are in vain, and I am a little self-defeating, and it takes a long time to adjust before I can return to my emotions. And then the cycle repeated, each time getting worse and sometimes desperate.

I felt wronged, and then I really wanted to quarrel, but as soon as I quarreled, I felt even more wronged, and then I couldn't speak.

I can't help but please my friends and family, and I don't dare to quarrel with others. I care about what other people think of me, and I am a good girl in the eyes of my parents and teachers, but I am very tired of living, and I am very used to hiding my emotions in front of everyone as if I was acting, and my boyfriend sometimes laughs very fakely.