Every time I ask someone else, I don t refuse it, and I am very unhappy when I help

If you don't refuse help every time you ask someone to ask for help, you may be unhappy because you feel that others are always asking for you, you feel annoyed, you feel that they are not self-reliant or self-reliant, and they will not live independently, and they will only ask you for help, they will not use their own minds to think about things, and they have no direction.

That's because you have a good heart, you think they should be able to think independently, and they can't ask for help every time, which will cause you a certain impact on your life and inconvenience in life.

Words that never lead to your unhappiness, and their words that resolve some of their conflicts result in words that waste most of your time.

Hello, I feel the same way after reading your question. We all seem to belong to the kind of people who are very soft-hearted. Sometimes they don't even know how to say no, and they don't know how to say no.

Every time, I obviously don't want to agree in my heart but I don't know how to be confused, and sometimes others are always happy to agree, and sometimes I'd rather be uncomfortable than agree to others' requests, so sometimes I regret it in my heart, but I'm embarrassed to refuse.

I feel that we can't do this anymore, and slowly we have to learn to say no, learn to be hard-hearted, so that we don't treat ourselves badly. I won't make myself unhappy either. In fact, learning to refuse is also a very important issue, sometimes in the face of sales, I originally disagreed, but sometimes people keep saying, say a lot, I can't stand to agree, so sometimes I have to be hard-hearted.

Sometimes you have to remember that there are no rules, so sometimes you can't break the rules, and breaking the rules is equivalent to damaging your own interests, so I hope you can do it, and I will do it, let's work together, learn to refuse from now on, come on!!

You have to learn to say no, because if you continue like this, you will only make yourself unhappy.

People are social people, everyone can't live alone, there are times when we have to ask for others, so we generally try our best to maintain a friendly state with others, and when we can do our best, we will help others and leave room for ourselves.

However, if others demand more from us than we can afford, we must learn to refuse. It's not a shame to say no, it's a sign of strength.

If it is difficult for you to say no every time you are faced with such a situation, it may be because you have a low self-esteem, you are worried that others will say that you are not good, and you are worried that others will say that you are not capable enough.

You may have the power of others, which cannot be offended, and your own power is small and not worth mentioning, so that you can wronged yourself to fulfill others. You are afraid that if you refuse someone else's request, what awaits you is a loss.

But you forget that you are also valuable, and that what others say about you must not match what you say about yourself. If you lose someone else, then don't lose someone else at the same time.

As an adult, the other person must be prepared for rejection when he opens up to you, and if the other person only sees you as the only person who can solve his problem, then the person himself has a problem.

Even if you reject the other person, the other person will have other solutions. Perhaps, when he asked you for help, he also begged La Bizhi to help others, you are not necessarily that important, don't overestimate yourself, and the other party may not have any hope because you refused. You're thinking too much.

If it exceeds your ability, but you reluctantly agree, the other party doesn't know how much you have paid for it, so you don't take it too seriously, won't it affect your friendship even more?

Therefore, don't take on the things that make yourself too much internal friction, and don't slap your swollen face and become fat. Remember, the other party has other methods, and you don't have that much ability. You feel embarrassed, and that's already there.

When a person thinks of himself as too important, he often takes on tasks that he could not have received, and as a result, it is likely that his image will be affected because he has not done a good job or has not met the expectations of the other party. Does this have to pay for the loss?

So, say no.

If you don't want to help, but don't make it clear, they may wait for your reply, only to delay them from finding other solutions.

I am reminded of an experience of my own. When I was pregnant, a relative said that he would come and help me when I was in labor, and promised to help for several months, so I didn't hire a nanny, because it is not easy to get a good nanny, and it takes time to find it.

Two months before the birth, I didn't say that there were variables and I was going to come over. As a result, I was told not to come two days before I gave birth. Caught me off guard.

Therefore, if you don't want to help, or can't help, you must clearly tell the other party that this does not offend people and give the other party time to solve the problem, rather than taking over the matter yourself and regretting it later. In this case, the relationship is basically broken.

It is a kind of people-pleasing personality mentality, this kind of person is generally willing to wronged himself for others, and his own things have not been done, but he is not like others If he asks for help, he will definitely agree to others.

The mentality of caring too much about other people's opinions, feeling that as long as they reject others, they will be hated, and even if they don't want to do something, they will choose to wronged themselves.

Some people are very shy, and they don't know how to reject others, and they are embarrassed to reject others. It is a people-pleasing personality.

In life, we must have experienced being asked for help by others, when the other party's request is within our ability, everyone will definitely not refuse, but if other people's requests will make you work hard, reverse the cost, and affect your normal life, there is no need to be a good person, we must learn to refuse. Sorry to refuse, it can be done with a few tricks.

First, increase the difficulty of asking for help: If we don't want to help others, then we have to make it more difficult for others to help, we can say: I'm afraid it's too late, I promised a friend to send what he wants before one o'clock.

In short, other people's requests and what you have to do during this time must be in conflict with each other, and the reason for refusal must be to embarrass yourself, and you can't get out easily. Let's never say: no, I'm going to go shopping this weekend, this kind of thing is not very important, so that others think that you are not interesting enough, and when is it not good to go shopping.

Second, delay gratification immediately after refusal: If someone else's request is difficult for us, we don't want to agree, and we don't want to let the other party be disappointed, we can immediately propose a backup plan. For example, a friend asks you to borrow a car, but it is good that your car is lent out without an accident, and if something happens, you are also jointly and severally liable, so we can say that I am really busy these days, and I have to run to the surrounding cities every day.

The second half of the sentence is just to alleviate the other party's frustration. Under normal circumstances, people with eyes have long known that you don't want to help, because we haven't directly stated our attitude, and we are still talking about it. Of course, in life, I think the most refusal should be to use a third party, and if you don't want to go to a dinner party, you can say:

On weekends, my wife asked me to take care of the children at home, and I can't go anywhere, so I envy you.

Only if we can refuse, learn to refuse, will we not suffer a big loss.

When you say "no" for the first time, you may feel embarrassed and a little guilty, but you have to think about it, and helping others may also hurt your own interests.

I think you can make excuses to refuse. No matter what method you use, as long as you can say no to others, don't be embarrassed.

In interpersonal communication, how to overcome the "embarrassment" psychology when rejecting others?

I am always embarrassed to refuse other people's requests, and I think you should encourage yourself to learn to say no to others, and you can only start with yourself to solve the situation at the root.

You have to start learning to reject others, and you can't always be a good person.

What should I do if I don't know how to reject someone?

Generally, I don't know how to reject others, because I am worried that others will be dissatisfied, and if I refuse, others will be unhappy, so I tend to agree, but now I need to know that this is not the result of my own rational desire, but the result of subconscious habits.

So now it's time to be clear if you're determined to learn to say no. Or is it just that? If you choose to learn to say no, learn to express your needs through specific interactions with people.

In the process of refusal, some people really alienate themselves after rejecting him, then such a person is not a good friend, and he must resolutely refuse his request. At the same time, don't be afraid to refuse friends for fear of embarrassment, sometimes you really don't have the ability to help or when something is really inconvenient to come forward to help, you can use these tips to refuse:

1. Listen patiently to the other party's request, even if you know that you should refuse halfway, on the one hand, you can express your respect for others, and on the other hand, you can understand the needs of the other party more clearly.

2. Clearly tell the other party that you need to consider, if you don't want to refuse immediately in person, be sure to tell the other party when you think about it, and show your integrity.

3. Explain the reason for refusal, if there is a sincere and logical reason is the best, this will maintain the original relationship, and when we find that the reason for refusal is not sufficient, we can "make up" a sufficient reason, but it must appear true, otherwise it will be more embarrassing to tell the lie in the future, and it is likely that the relationship will break down, if you don't want to take this risk, just refuse, don't explain the reason.

4. The attitude should be resolute, and you can't be persuaded because of the other party's re-elaboration. Because this will make the other party think that there is still room for maneuver, if the ability to help is a good thing, the most afraid of not being able to help and emotionally agree, such a decision is irresponsible to others and themselves, and it may delay the other party's affairs and sow unpleasant seeds.

In this life, you have to learn to say no, otherwise your life will be very dark. Because you don't know how to refuse, more people will come to you for help, he won't care about you, whether you can do it or not, as long as you don't agree, they will hate you.

So when you learn to say no, you will also let others know that you are also a person who knows how to say no, not the kind that can be asked for casually.

Not rejecting others, whether it is bad for yourself or others. You did something for yourself but you were very unhappy, you reluctantly did it for others, but you didn't do well and others were not happy. So learn to say no, and try to do what you can and like to do.

If you don't like to do it, you will resolutely refuse it, tell yourself that you are not capable enough, and let him find someone else!

This is also a very serious problem, to be honest, I was like this before, embarrassed to refuse other people's requests, and can't bear to refuse others, help others do this and that I feel very uncomfortable, after a long time will only make myself more and more uncomfortable, so we must learn to refuse others, unreasonable requirements do not like to do is to bravely refuse, or find a proper reason to refuse.

Be sure to learn to say no to others. If you don't learn to refuse, maybe you will be asked to help him ...... a second or third time; And it's not the best solution for you to use procrastination, but as long as you promise the other party, you have to do it, which is the basic virtue of being a human being to be honest, right? But you still have your own things to do, don't you?

So each of us must learn to say no at the right time, because helping others is a feeling, and not helping is also reasonable, there is no need to cause uncomfortable feelings in your heart, relax your mind, learn to refuse, may you be happy!

Can't you look good, is there anyone, is there anyone, you are working smoothly, healthy, all the best, I like this expression after all your wishes come true.