Why do you always torment yourself by recalling things that make you unhappy?

In fact, to put it bluntly, I still feel that I still haven't succeeded, as long as I succeed 90% of things in life will not affect you, you can't do without money in real life, it's difficult to do anything without money, and you will be easily injured.

1. Why do you always recall unhappy moments in the past?

Our relationships with ourselves and with others come from the projection of our relationships with our parents, and the way important others [treat] us is often internalized into the way we treat ourselves, and even when we grow up, we may still treat ourselves the way our parents treated us in our hearts, and we will also think in our hearts that others may treat us the same way.

We have an expectation of ourselves and others in our hearts, and this expectation always fails to meet our expectations, resulting in our frustration, some people will choose external attribution, some people will choose internal attribution, at the same time, we are familiar with the past model, so, we are not good enough, the future is not good enough, all because we have been many times in the past. As a result, this also gives itself a reason to rationalize.

2. How to gradually come out of the past unopened heart?

1. Better understand your own feelings and treat yourself well; There is a [writing therapy] in psychology, when you are unhappy, you can write it down, this process does not need to think, you can write what you want, of course, the events that happen and your own feelings and your own expectations must be there. If others don't see you, we have to learn to see ourselves with a third eye.

2. Learn to build relationships with others flexibly; Relationships are equal, mutual respect, a good relationship, you can express your true thoughts and feelings, and at the same time, you will understand the different voices of others.

For example, try to learn to [nonviolent communication] :(four steps) observation: first observe and pay attention to distinguish objective facts; empathize with others and express one's own feelings; Speak out about your needs without emotion; Make your own request.

Nonviolent communication is an effective way to communicate, and you can also try to use non-violent communication for yourself.

3. Try to find what you need. You always reminisce about the unhappy moments of the past, what do you really want in your heart? When we look to the future, we may be able to know what we really care about.

Actually, you're fine, you just didn't find out for yourself. First of all, you have the courage to express your feelings here, and gradually you can express your feelings in front of colleagues, friends and relatives! In fact, everyone is not perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, so there is a good saying:

Failure is the mother of success." Everyone grows from their mistakes, and you, not the exception! Failure is all about bringing us closer to success.

As long as you don't get knocked down by setbacks, you're on your way to success.

Subject, the process of change is slow and painful, caring about the evaluation of others is what many people will have, each of us will encounter difficult times, please believe that we will slowly get better, bless you.

This may be because you are too stressed, which will cause obsessive-compulsive disorder, you must learn to communicate and communicate with others more, but also to relieve your emotions more, think more about happy things, don't have too much pressure, and be kind to yourself.

It may be that you have been under a lot of stress recently, it may be that you have a problem with your psychological state, you may be suffering from depression, don't let yourself think about these unhappy things, and try to live well now.

Mainly because you always want to reminisce about the past, you can't get out, and you can't let go of some of these things.

Do what you love. Make yourself a little happier every day.

When we are in a bad mood, we can try to regulate our emotions in the following three ways.

Method 1; When you are in a bad mood, use your consciousness to change the topic, or do something else, such as listening. Watch TV. Play. Play chess, go for a walk, etc., to distract yourself. This can lead to emotional relief.

Method 2; Tell your relatives or close friends about your troubles or even cry, or use pillows, big sandbags, etc. Venting the worries that have accumulated in your heart will also be beneficial to your physical and mental health. However, it is necessary to pay attention to the object, place and occasion of catharsis to avoid harming others.

Method 3; When you want to get something, or want to do something but it doesn't work, in order to reduce the disappointment in your heart, you can find a proper reason to comfort yourself, which can help you accept the reality in the face of setbacks and maintain a more optimistic attitude.

Give these methods a try, and you will be in a good mood every day.

It can only be said that you are not very good at resolving bad emotions, well, you always look at negative emotions, you try to guide yourself to consider the happy side, for example, you read more happy **, read some happy articles, is to make your emotions more positive, otherwise you will be in a negative energy for a long time, and you will easily get depressed.

If you always think like this, this is relatively normal, because you are still in charge and very unhappy, you should still think about something happy or do something that interests you, as long as he is busy, he will not think about unhappy things.

When we have negative emotions, the unhappiness that is pressed in the bottom of our hearts will suddenly come out one after another, which makes us more uncomfortable. We need to forget, remember the happy things. The second is to find something to do for yourself, so that when you are busy, you won't have time to think about sad things.

Then go on a trip to see the world, eat delicious food, divert your attention, or learn other things, let yourself focus on one thing, don't let yourself be idle, and you won't always think about unhappy things in the past

Then look forward and do what you love.

I can't help but reminisce about the unhappy things in the past, and I need to relax by myself, and then I can't think about unhappy memories when I get busy as much as possible.

If a person can't help but recall some unhappy things in the past, then it can only mean that this incident makes you remember it deeply, and the reason why you can't forget it is because? No, coming out of this memory.

At this time, we need to let ourselves relax, then let ourselves be empty, don't think about anything, and finally, after we calm down, tell ourselves that we shouldn't be like this, in fact, we are fine.

No matter what happens, we should face it with optimism, don't put too much pressure on ourselves, don't think cranky, only in this way can we be more relaxed.

When encountering this situation, you have to learn to self-regulate, the more anxious you are, the more you torture yourself, which can be improved by diverting your attention.

It's the stupidest thing to torture yourself, if you want to open something up, if you can't talk to your family and friends, go out to travel and relax, don't torture yourself.

I think we should have a correct mentality, don't push yourself too much, and learn to accept yourself.

Exercise regularly and stay healthy. Keep yourself busy, because once a person is busy, there is no time to think about things.

At this time, you should relax your mentality, don't let yourself be in a tense state all the time, and secondly, don't let yourself become so calculating, you can broaden your horizons and see some beautiful things.

At this time, you must adjust your mentality. Relax your mind, because anything can get by.

From now on, keep yourself busy, don't let yourself have free time, don't think about what you have and don't, make your body tired, and you will naturally be able to sleep peacefully. When you get used to it, you don't think about those things, and after a long time, you will naturally forget it, and your state will naturally change.

Don't let yourself be cranky all the time, and face everything with an optimistic attitude, only in this way can you make your life a little easier.

Heart disease also requires heart medicine, and the entanglement in your heart can only be solved by yourself! The past has become a fact, and the future has not yet come, look away, let go of the baggage, and don't be cocooned!

Don't pay too much attention to it, and forget what you should forget, don't keep it in your heart and let yourself breathless.

Could it be because you said something you shouldn't have said, or did you do something I shouldn't have said? It doesn't matter if you know your mistake and correct it. There is no need to indulge in torture and punishment. Life is not easy, let's spend each day happily!

I think it's happening because you're not releasing yourself well, and if you can have a good talk with your friends and release all these bad things, then it might change your current state.

Cultivate your interests, distract yourself, and don't think about one thing all the time. This will improve somewhat.

Be relaxed about your mind. If you really can't adjust it, go out and travel. This will allow you to let yourself go. Discover something new.

Fill up all the memories with happy memories

Don't think about unhappy things