Are there any funny jokes? Corny fuck off

Brother Chun believes in Jesus, and there is wood.

Heart-shaped biscuits

I have a brother chasing his girlfriend and a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk every morning. Perseverance, finally arrived.

One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with heart-shaped biscuits, and his girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy these biscuits?" I've been to a lot of supermarkets, but I can't get it in this shape. ”

He said proudly: "Of course I can't find it, this is the ...... I gnawed out."

Universal Toys" Several little boys scraped together a dozen dollars to buy toys, but they didn't know what to buy, and one of them proposed: "Go buy sanitary napkins!" ”

The crowd was puzzled and asked why? The boy said: "It is said on TV that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball, skate, and be happy without worries." ”

Valentine's Day" Today's Valentine's Day, a long-time crush MM called me: "Come to my house, no one!" I ran away excitedly!! Knocked on the door for more than an hour and found.

No one really ......

The new version of Di Renjie".

The most powerful passage in the new version of Di Renjiery: Li Yuanfang: My lord, a headless male corpse was found in the backyard. Di Renjie: In my opinion, this person is dead! Li Yuanfang: The adults knew this before they arrived at the scene.

Man is dead, but he is truly a man of God!

Peerless Beauty" A woman has long dreamed of crossing into a peerless beauty, and one day she finally crossed and found herself on an ancient woman, eager to take a self-portrait in the mirror.

Just when his heart was itching, he suddenly saw a big man poking his head out of the staircase, his brows were tightened, and he shouted: "Sister-in-law, come down, Wu Song has something to say!" ”

Do you believe that people have life after death? The teacher asked a student.

In that case, things are right," the teacher continued, "and yesterday you took leave to attend your grandmother's funeral, and after you left, your grandmother came here to see you. ”

Jet lag "In high school, a math exam, everyone buried their heads in writing, a classmate suddenly wanted to fart, but because the surroundings were too quiet, he wanted to use a cough to cover the fart sound, but the cough was over, a loud big fart was late, the whole class laughed, the math teacher smiled and helped his glasses, and said two words: "Jet lag." ”

Unforgettable Memory".

I remember when I was in junior high school, my math teacher once taught us the definition of a cross-section, and after explaining it twice, we still saw a few puzzled expressions in the class, so I said, "Take a knife and chop your fingers, and the bleeding is the cross-section!" ”

This sentence gave everyone in the class an unforgettable memory of the cross-section.

History to this day has bai three most du

Famous apples: a zhiyou huo Eve, a dao woke up Newton, and one is now in the hands of Steve Jobs These three apple fruits show that Xin AI, knowledge, and zhuang bi are the ladder of human progress....We have entered the highest state of Yu Wang's expansion!

M: What time is the beauty?

F: **Dot.

M: Wow, we really have a fate, and mine is also **.

A rabbit, he jumped on his left foot and again on his right foot, why? (because he wants to).

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all the students.

The upstairs one is the most exciting.

Great generals.

Read on. Come on! The time has come!

Don't even think about giving up!

Victory is ours!

Look at those tattered **.

Sure to win!

The enemy is stupid.

Warriors rush!

It can survive!

Runaways. Never bypassed!

People who want to be heroes!

Crazy general.

Read on.

Joke 1: Shut up and get in trouble.

Shut up and trouble is 1 pair of good friends, there is 1 day to shut up and buy 2 cakes, one to trouble and one to yourself, trouble to eat their own cake to grab the shut up to eat. Shut up and go after trouble, shut up and meet a policeman, the policeman asked to shut up: "What's your name, little friend!"

Shut up and say, "Shut up!" "The police thought he was telling him to shut up!

So he asked, "What are you looking for?" "Shut up and say

I'm looking for trouble! ”

Joke 2: Just left for you.

Tom took his son to dinner, the waiter served two pork chops, and Tom's son put the large pork chop on his plate. Tom said, "Why are you so rude?"

Tom's son said, "If it were you, which piece would you want?" Tom said

It's small, of course. "Then I left the little one for you! ”

When I saw the ghost, I was speechless.

Late one night, I got up to go to the toilet and saw a transparent thing flashing left and right I asked: Are you a ghost?

The ghost said: Enna.

Ghost: ...

Art assignments. When handing in an art assignment, one student handed in only a blank piece of paper.

The teacher asked, "What about painting?" ”

The student replied, "Here?" He said, pointing to the blank piece of paper.

Teacher: "What are you drawing?" ”

Student: "Cows eat grass." ”

Teacher: "Where's the grass?" ”

Student: "The cow has run out." ”

Teacher: "What about the cow?" ”

Student: "When the grass runs out, what are the cows doing standing there?" ”

Reasons for jail time.

Two inmates in the cell were chatting, and one of them asked the other, "How did you 'live' in?" ”

Because of a cold. ”

How is this possible? ”

Quite simply, I sneezed while stealing something and the security guard woke up. ”

Yesterday I taught my three-year-old little cousin to draw, and she drew a huge ugly villain.

I asked her if she was drawing her father? She said no, how could Dad be so ugly?

After saying that, he ran to his parents' room. I was just going to drink water, and I passed by their room and heard the girl's voice: "Dad, do you think I look like my sister?" ”

Four years ago, if a girl lost her temper at me for some reason, I would silently think "Calm down, she's coming to Dayi's mother".

Four years later, if another girl loses her temper at me for some reason, I will silently think, "Calm down, she must be Dayi's mother who didn't come on time."

I used to call ** to my boyfriend in their dormitory, but he didn't pick it up, and I was a little embarrassed, so I made up a name and said, "Is xx there?" "If you want to pretend to find the wrong person, it's over The other party hesitated for a moment and said:

Wait, I'll call you. I was so sick of food! Hurry up and hang up the ** in fright.

Later, when I asked my boyfriend, he said that a boy in the dormitory opposite them called me the name I made up.

There was a pig, and he walked and walked and walked and walked to England, and what became of him as a result? --pig.

One fell while walking, he got up and continued to walk and fell again. So he said; I knew I wouldn't have gotten up just now.

Pig "You are safe" "Pig" you are happy "Pig" you are happy, "Pig" you dog jumps off the wall in a hurry, "Pig" you come safely.

Rhinitis happened to be today, and when I went to the toilet and smelled the stench, I was very happy that my nose had regained its sense of smell for a while, but now I deeply feel the pain of severe lung poisoning.

The little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred small breads?" ”

Boss: "Ah, I'm sorry, not so much".

That's it... The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery, "Boss, are there a hundred small breads?" ”

Boss: "I'm sorry, but I still don't."

That's it... The little white rabbit went away again dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery, "Boss, are there a hundred small breads?" ”

The boss happily said, "Yes, yes, today we have a hundred small loaves of bread!" ”

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" ”

My sister was four years old, and when she came back from kindergarten with an arithmetic book, she told her mother: The teacher asked the parents to give questions, and first ten is equal to ten, and then ten is equal to five.

Mom picked up the notebook and began to give questions, halfway through writing, and suddenly woke up: I fell into the ...... of this little cub

When the doctor learned that I was constipated, he prescribed me two courses of drills.

At the beginning of the military training, a boy stood in the front row. The instructor said: The front row counts!

He glanced at the teacher suspiciously, thinking that he had misheard and did not move. The instructor shouted again: The front row reports the number!

Looking at the instructor's angry gaze, he reluctantly walked to the edge of the playground and hugged a tree.

One day Xiao Ming went fishing and found a carp, and the carp said, "Please let me go." Xiao Ming said: "Then I'll test you, right?" The carp nodded... And then it was roasted...

A man named Xiao Cai was taken away as he walked on the road

Can you give me the time for a song = can you give me a senior sister of Brother Hugh?

Shanglian: Reminiscing about the past, red rice, pumpkin soup, a wife, a gang of children, a gang of children, a group of Xialian: look at the present, white rice, Wang Ba soup, a child, a gang of wives: keep pace with the times.

Uplink: Love is in arrears, love has been shut down, and fate is not in the service area.

Downlink: Thinking about not answering and thinking about the busy line can not be recharged.

Horizontal batch: how to connect if the heart is mobile.

Downlink: Cheating on eating, drinking, and cheating feelings.

Horizontal batch: The wisher takes the bait.

Shanglian: The wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I'm waiting for you to reply**.

Downlink: Live for you, die for you, and wait for you for a lifetime.

Horizontal batch: The wrong person sent it.

Shanglian: Love the country, love the family, love the sister.

Downlink: Fire and anti-theft brothers.

Horizontal criticism: freedom of love.

Shanglian: Look at the back, and the army is in a hurry.

Downlink: Turn your head and scare off a million heroes.

Side-by-side: Oh my god!

Shanglian: If you say you can do it, you can do it, and you can do it if you can.

Downlink: If you say no, you can't do it, and you can't do it.

Horizontal batch: If you don't accept it, you can't do it.

Shanglian: You are stupid, you are tired, and you have suffered all your sins.

Downlink: Die for you, be crazy for you, and bang against the wall for you.

Side-by-side: Crazy for love.

Shanglian: Loving and being loved are difficult.

Downlink: There is time for affection and fate.

Horizontal criticism: Affection is priceless.

An older man meets an older woman in a park.

Male out of Shanglian: There is no bull strength and no land to cultivate.

Female couplet: Two acres of fertile land in vain, waiting for someone to plow.

Horizontal batch: Waste is shameful.

Shanglian: Love has been suspended, love has also been liquidated, and fate has slipped to the fall limit.

Downlink: Thinking about the bull market, thinking about no bear market, feelings can not invest in the long term.

Three rats a day brag. A said, "I will itch if I don't step on a mouse for a day."

B said, "I don't eat rat poison for a day and my stomach hurts." C said:

Don't blow you guys, go home and feed the cats. One day, a patient ran away from a psychiatric hospital and brought a gun. Ran out into the street and put a gun to a man's head and said:

What is one plus one? The man said it was equal to two. Bang the patient killed him and said

You know too much. I sent it on my phone.

Three little pigs, pig A's name is "who", pig B's name is "where", and pig C's name is "what". One day, pig A and.

Pig B is standing in the doorway, and pig C is on the roof. A wolf spotted them and wanted to eat them, so he rushed to pig A ......

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: That's right! Wolf: What?

Pig A: What's on the roof.

Wolf: I'm asking what is your name?

Pig A: Who am I called, what is on the roof.

The wolf asked Pig B again.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig B: I am not who it is, who it is (pointing to Pig A).

Wolf: Do you know it?

Pig B: Yes. Wolf: Who is it?

Pig B: Yes.

Wolf: What? Pig B: What's on the roof.

Wolf: Where? Pig B: Where's me?

Wolf: Who? Pig B: Who is it? (pointing to pig A again).

Wolf: How do I know?

Pig B: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What? Pig B: It's on the roof.

Wolf: Where? Pig B: It's me.

Wolf: Who? Pig B: I'm not who I am, who it is.

Wolf: Oh my God! Pig A Pig B: "Oh my God" is our dad.

Wolf: What, your father?

Pig B: No.

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore, and looked up to the sky and sighed: "Why? ”

Pig ABC: You know our grandfather?

Wolf: What? Pig A: No, why our grandfather.

Wolf: Why?

Pig A: Yes! Wolf: What is it?

Pig A: No, it's "why".

Wolf: Who? Pig A: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: yes, who am I.

Wolf: What? Pig AB: It's on the roof.

In the end, the wolf committed suicide. Piggy ...... laughingAre you smiling? Hehe.