Are there any super hilarious jokes that you can t help but laugh out loud when you hear them?

I'm just a stuffy gourd. On a blind date with a very quiet girl, the first time I met, I spoke less than ten words. When I got home, I looked at my phone and received a message, it was from her!

The mood is a little excited. It should be a great thing that someone took the initiative to send it to you! Open it and take a look:

She:"You should have sent me home today! "I was embarrassed that I had indeed made a mistake!

Well, I should seriously apologize, back:"I'm sorry, it was my negligence! I'm not confident that you'll accept me, so I don't dare to take the liberty!

She:"Well, it feels like you're pretty good! "Back:

After that, I promise to deliver you to your doorstep. "She:"I didn't say I would accept you!

I couldn't accept it either, and replied, "Then tell me this?" She:

My girlfriend is a good fit for you. "With her best friend, who is also the current daughter-in-law, when I met for the first time, I didn't say a few words, and the daughter-in-law kept talking, and finally concluded: "It's a pleasure to chat with you....”

I've always wondered if I'm eating more now or is it really not as delicious as before. When I was a child, my family was poor, and my parents did everything they could to support our three students. Once my father came back from work and brought back twelve wheat apricots, four for my grandparents, two for each of the remaining three children, one for each father and mother, and said that it was once a year, and I tasted them all.

I will never forget that my mother pinched a peanut with her fingernails, put it in her mouth and shouted that it was too sour, and handed it to my younger brother. Dad split his split in two for my sister and me. Although we didn't eat enough, we still gave it back to my parents.

The stuff was really delicious back then.

The day before the exam, my father was ruthless and killed the chickens that had been raised at home for several years, saying that he would make up for me and definitely get a good score in the exam! In the end, I failed my dad's expectations of me, and I failed the exam. But fortunately, my dad has a good temper, although he knew that I didn't do well in the exam, but he didn't beat me and scold me, just sat on the chair alone and said seriously:

Spit out the chicken! ”

When the landlord was a child, he was smart and sensible, and he knew that the conditions at home were not good, so he never wanted to eat and wear. My brother is different from me, he saw the popsicle seller and clamored for it, at this time I wiped my saliva and said: I don't want popsicles, keep the money and give my grandfather a drink!

When my father heard this, he immediately bought me two popsicles and ordered me not to eat them.

After getting married, you don't have to go to work, you don't have to cook, you just watch cartoons every day! This cabbage has just begun to grow, and there are pigs coming to arch, so tomorrow I will go to the boy's parents to talk about the bride price!

A female colleague in my unit had her water breaking, and she was in a hurry, so I helped drive her to the hospital. Later, the mother and child were safe. After the moon rises, the moon wine is placed and my wife and I are invited.

She specially toasted my wife: "Sister-in-law, if it weren't for your husband's help, I wouldn't have this child!" Thank you!

My wife stepped on my foot at that time and twisted it a few times!

**My brother-in-law was promoted to department manager, and the company matched him with a young and beautiful female secretary. When my sister heard about it, she asked her brother-in-law for confirmation with a jealous face.

The brother-in-law said lightly: "She doesn't understand anything, like a doll." When the little niece heard this, she became interested and hurriedly ran over and asked

Daddy, when you let that doll lie down, does she close her eyes? ”

Recently, the family was cleaning up the house, and my mother said, "Leave the well-lit room to the big girl!" My brother answered:

But my sister is going to get married. Then my mother replied in seconds: "Even if she gets married in the future, won't she be your sister?!"

In an instant I burst into tears.

My cousin quarreled with the female ticket before the New Year, but the female ticket who had promised to go home with him for the New Year went home in a fit of anger! The aunt who was waiting for her future daughter-in-law to come to the door had a black face, carrying a feather duster all over the yard and pumping her cousin: Will you lose meat if you take a step?

Do you know how many red envelopes you two receive less now?!You pay back my daughter-in-law and son......

1.The girls of our hospital turned back three times, the girls of our hospital turned around, the secretary and the dean jumped off the building, and the girls of our hospital turned back twice, and the water of the Yangtze River was going to flow backwards.

The girls of our hospital have turned back three times, and there is no need to worry about recovering Taiwan!

2 Once upon a time, there was a nervous disorder, I didn't know how to get a gun from **, One day I was walking alone in a small alley.

Village. At this time, suddenly a person came to him, so the psychosis rushed over, pressed the person, put a gun to his forehead, and said: 1+1=?

The man was frightened and hesitated for a while before saying, "2......."

At this time, the neurotic shot the man at once, and then said coldly: You know too much.

The geography teacher asked: The river is flowing to **? One student stood up and sang:

The great river flows eastward! The teacher ignored him and continued, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The student sang again: "The stars in the sky are in the Big Dipper!" The teacher is angry:

Get the hell out of here! Student: Let's go!

The teacher is helpless: Are you sick? Students:

You've got me, you've got it all! Teacher: Try singing again!

Student: The road is uneven and roars all your life! Teacher:

Do you believe me playing you? Student: Shoot when it's time to shoot!

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school! Students:

Wind and fire in Jiuzhou! Ha ha... Tell your friends to see.

Smile more and worry less.

One. You're good-looking, human-like dogs.

Two. There are only two ways out for fat people, either to get in shape and to get better, or to get better in mentality.

Three. Do you know why there is so little life since ancient times? Because no one cares how long an ugly person lives.

Four. If you don't read for a day, no one can see it; I didn't read for a week and started to explode; If you don't read in January, your IQ loses to a pig.

Five. I'm not a vain girl, I hate villas, sports cars, designer bags, clothes and shoes, I just like money.

Six. There are four passbooks in life: health. Emotion. Career and money. If your health is gone, all other passbooks will expire.

Seven. It is said that marriage is the grave of love, but if you don't have a house, you can't even enter the grave.

Eight. Although he is often beaten by his wife, he can see that his wife is not an unreasonable person. Before each fight, she would ask for my permission, and when I said no, she would call me until I agreed.

Nine. My friend cried to me, saying that he often fell out of love because he was too poor to serve the world. I suddenly despaired of this society: he is also poor, why can he have a girlfriend?

Ten. Your shortness is lifelong, but my fat is temporary.

Eleven. It is said that studying accounting and medicine are a perfect match, one for wealth and the other for death.

Twelve. Why does the boat of friendship capsize? Because there is a person who is so fat that it affects the balance.

A baker's dozen. The reason why I have been single so far: acquaintances are not easy to start, and people are not easy to speak.

14.Look at your back. I thought you could kill thousands of troops, but as soon as you turned around, I really underestimated you, you have the strength to scare millions of heroes to death!

Fifteen. Palmistry Master: Your palms are big, you must be lonely. Me: Huh? You can see why? Palmistry Master: Because, the bigger the palm, the more lonely you are.

Sixteen. If you're nauseous and retching while brushing your teeth, stop brushing your teeth in the mirror.

17.Mom said. The sweat and tears you shed after you got married are all the water in your head when you chose your husband!

Eighteen. Recently, I bought a box of ** powder on the Internet, which I want to make with honey or yogurt, ** arrived, I went to the supermarket and bought a box of yogurt. When I open the yogurt, I feel like my face doesn't matter that much.

Nineteen. A teacher said to the students, "You changed my religion, I used to be an atheist, but after meeting you, I really met a ghost."

Twenty. Don't sing what to search for the rest of your life, girls don't work hard to earn money, they are not willing to be beautiful, for the rest of their lives, cooking is you, laundry is you, housework is you, you are disliked, and you are still looking at the children.

Twenty-one. Call you baby when chasing you, call you baby when you get it, call you daughter-in-law when you are happy, call you neurotic when you quarrel, call you roll calves when you are angry, and call you don't ink when you are irritable, this is a man, what a vivid and vivid Wang Ba calf.

Twenty-two. Life is like playing **, either you hang first, or I hang first.

Twenty-three. In this society, everything is fake, only poverty is real.

Twenty-four. Why do some boys flirt and suddenly ignore you? Because of the wide area of nets, selective fishing, you are released.

The fox was walking down the street and ran into the old wolf. The old wolf stretched out his hand and gave him a big mouth: "Let you not wear a hat."

The fox went home depressed and got a hat to put on.

The next day, I ran into the old wolf again, and I was slapped again: "Let you wear a hat." ”

If so, I was beaten several times. The fox thought, it's not a problem to be beaten so much, no, I have to complain to the tiger.

As soon as I arrived at the door of the tiger's house, I heard the tiger talking in the house: "You can't always be so unreasonable and beat the fox, and the fox will complain to me when I turn around, and I won't be able to cover you." Let's get by on the face.

I'll teach you a trick, and the next time you see the fox, tell him, "Get me some laundry." He brought you soap, and you beat him up, saying I want laundry detergent, who told you to take soap.

He brought laundry detergent, you can also fight, saying I want soap, who told you to take laundry detergent. Or you tell him, 'Go, find me a woman.'" He finds you a fat one, and you beat him up and says I want to be thin; Find you a thin one, and you will also beat it up, saying that I want to be fat.

If you don't end it like this, you can beat him, and I can talk about it in my face. ”

When the fox heard this, he said, let's stop complaining and go home.

The next day, the fox ran into the old wolf again in the street. The old wolf shouted, "Go, find me some laundry."

The fox was not in a hurry: "Do you want laundry detergent, do you want soap?" ”

The old wolf listened, huh? There's a hand. And he said, "Go, find me a woman." ”

The fox was still unhurried: "Do you want to be fat or thin?" ”

The wolf was stunned, and there was no reason to hit it. But the wolf only hesitated for a moment and beat the fox again, and said as he beat back, "Let you not wear a hat!" ”

Xiaoquan is a martial arts fan, and his knowledge of martial arts is the first thing to say.

Once, when the teacher was taking the text "My Hand", he saw Xiao Quan peeking at martial arts**, so he asked him what the title of the text was, and Xiao Quan shook his head. In order to enlighten him, the teacher stretched out a hand and asked, "What is this?"

Xiaoquan replied: "Iron sand palm!" The teacher was so angry that he shook his hand, and Xiao Quan said:

Shaolin boxing! The teacher helplessly stretched out his hand and half-grasped it, and Xiao Quan replied faster: "Condor Claw!"

The teacher was so angry that he shook the head of the chalk. "Ahh It turns out that the teacher can also shoot star darts! ”

Hello so strong! When you fall, lie down and don't struggle.