Humorous and funny stories no less than 50 words ?

One day, Mark Twain, a famous American humorous satirist, was going to work in a foreign country. When I arrived at the station, I searched through my pockets and couldn't find the ticket. The ticket inspector recognized him and said:

If you really can't find a ticket, it's okay ......Mark Twain said, "I've got to find the damn ticket, or I'm going to know I'm going to **?" ”

Someone runs a restaurant and business has been bad lately.

At noon that day, a friend went to the hotel to look for him and saw that he was organizing an employee to carry out a food competition.

He invited his friends to dinner after organizing the competition, and his friends asked him during the banquet: "Business is sluggish, don't you use more brains in business, and still have the mind to engage in entertainment activities?" ”

He said, "Dude, I'm here to save money." ”

My friend said, "I've never seen you save money like this." He said: "To tell you the truth, I was going to lay off employees recently, and today I just want to figure out who has the most food!

Your mother and the old king next door have a leg, and you know it. You want to join the scene again, and then find Lao Wang to confess. As soon as Lao Wang saw that the incident had happened, he could only say one thing that shocked you. Your dad is not your dad, your real dad is the old king next door.

1. Before going to a friend's house for a banquet alone, he was half drunk and his face was red. When I went to the banquet at my friend's house, I felt that the taste of wine was very light, and the more I drank, the more tasteless it became, and even the wine I had drunk woke up, and my face faded red. After the banquet, he said to the host:

Your wine is good, but please return my red face! ”

2. An old man is described as withered and weak, but as long as he is old, he is annoyed, and if he is praised for his youth, he likes it endlessly. After one person found out, he deliberately asked him to take advantage of it and said: "Although your beard and hair are white, your face is delicate, not only comparable to a child, but also as fresh and tender as my newborn child."

The old man was overjoyed and said, "If your face can be so fresh, my old man is willing to be your son." ”

3. Two cows graze together.

Qingniu asked Heiniu: "Hey! What does your grass taste like? ”

Black Bull said: "Strawberry flavor!" ”

Qingniu leaned over and took a bite, and shouted angrily: "You lied to me! ”

The black bull looked at him contemptuously and replied, "Stupid, I said that grass tasteless. ”

4. Several people drink wine and make poems, and each of them should use a poem to name a person with the same nature as a robber. One said, "Open the skylight for the leader to collect money (the one who takes the lead in collecting money)".

One person said: "Deceive people, harm people, and show talents." Another said:

The man replied, "You see, nine out of ten people are sitting in a sedan chair carried by four people, and they are better than robbers!" ”

5. A fool said, "I want to have 100 acres of land." The neighbor said

If you have 100 acres of land, I will raise 10,000 ducks and eat up all the rice in your field. The two quarreled and went to the government together to comment. When I passed through the school palace, I saw the red wall and the gate building, and thought it was the official mansion, so I pulled it in.

A Xiucai greeted him, they thought it was an official master, so they rushed to say their own reasons, Xiucai smiled and said: "One of you will go to buy land first, and the other will go to raise ducks first, and then I will try this case when I become an official!" ”

One day, the teacher was making a rule. The teacher said: First, you are not allowed to speak Sichuanese.

At this time, one of the students in the back did not raise his hand and said loudly: Isn't there no punishment for that?

When the teacher heard this, he was very angry and said, "What do you mean?"

The teacher spoke Sichuanese. The whole class pointed to the teacher and said, "Teacher, you are speaking Sichuanese."

Which end to go.

The young man, Dang, suddenly met the pastor who had given him the wedding ceremony a few months earlier, and asked the pastor: "At the time of the wedding, did you not declare on behalf of God: "All the troubles of my wife and I have come to an end?" But now I'm so troubled! ”

Chapter 1: Teasing spies.

Once, Lu Xun was wandering on the streets of Shanghai, and the general was followed by a small spy behind him. Of course, this is a common thing for Lu Xun. Lu Xun deliberately regarded him as a beggar, and calmly turned around and handed over a silver dollar: "Buy food and eat." ”

Chapter 2: My heart is very bad.

There are two villains, both with poisonous sores on their backs, please doctor**. After reading one, the doctor looked at the second, and pretended to be frightened, and said, "His heart is worse, but he can be healed, but your heart is so bad and rotten, how can I be healed well?" ”

Chapter 3: I am an egg.

The kindergarten teacher asked the children, "What do you belong to?" The child said, "I am an egg!" The teacher said, "How can there be an egg?" The child said, "My mother is a chicken, so I am an egg!" ”

Chapter 4: Mom.

Teacher: "There is a kind of animal with two legs, and every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up until you get up, what kind of bigotype is it?" Me: "Mom! "Laughed so much that the teacher almost died!