Ask for a joke... If you want to be funny, talk about it in the morning meeting of the company

The cannibal went to work in the company, and within a few days, he couldn't help but eat an executive, and a few days later, he ate another. After a few more days, I didn't find an executive and ate a cleaner. It was discovered the next day.

Send it to the Public Security Bureau. Cannibals sighed: Don't eat people who are useful to the company.

There was a guy who got on the bus and got off the bus with a cigarette that fell to the ground. A kind aunt next to him stopped him: "Young man, your cigarette is off." The young man was furious: "You just castrated!" ”

When telling this joke, please imitate the young man as a male employee of your company and the aunt as a female employee, there is a high chance that the joke will be good!!

There was an ostrich walking, a hunter found it, picked up a shotgun and shot it through the heart, why is the ostrich still walking?

Jokes about the company's morning meeting.

Something can be saidAbout the workplaceOr.

About life around youA little joke to start the day, as follows:

1. There was a stingy rich man who was seriously ill, and his family invited a doctor, who stood in front of the rich man's bed and said, "Don't worry, I can cure your illness." "How much does it cost?"

The rich man asked weakly. The doctor did the math and said, "Thirty thousand."

I only heard the rich man say, "Can it be less?" The master who sells the coffin wants much less than that!

2. After dinner, the mother and daughter wash the dishes together, and the father and son watch TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was the sound of plates breaking in the kitchen, and then there was silence. The son looked at his father and said:

It must have been broken by Mom. ""How do you know? ""She didn't curse.

3. There was a beautiful lady who took out a tissue from her bag and wiped the seat vigorously after getting on the bus, and when she was about to sit down, she let out a fart. A gentleman next to him heard it and said jokingly: Miss really loves hygiene, she has been wiping it for so long, and she has to blow it!

5. Two men are chatting. When a married man talks about a woman, he says, "Women love to be coquettish before they get married."

The unmarried man asked, "Do you still love to be coquettish after marriage?" The married man took a deep puff of his cigarette and said to the unmarried man with tears in his eyes

When they got married, they began to go wild. ”

What's going on here? Draw to win. Who knows, one of the old men said calmly:

Young man, you are still young, we are competing, whoever rises first loses. ”

You can talk to your colleagues if they don't have the best of luck. Then you can tell me if you didn't go home to sleep last night, anyway, you say something that makes them all laugh. That way, don't worry about running out of atmosphere.

How to do a good morning meeting:

1.The morning meeting is the most basic management and management tool, so it must be done by the most basic team leader, they know the situation and trends of the grassroots best, as long as the morning meeting is a good use of this management tool, you can achieve twice the result with half the effort.

2.The frequency of the morning meeting is generally 1-2 times a week, about 10 minutes each time, once the time is set, it will not be changed, it is best to hold it regularly and regularly.

3.The content of the morning meeting should be specific, and it will generally include teachings, ideas, and goals.

4.It is the key to the success or failure of the morning meeting, which can make the morning meeting prepared and carried out step by step to achieve the purpose of the morning meeting.

5.The host of the morning meeting should be prepared in advance, and the volume of the morning meeting should be loud and the attitude should be good. The atmosphere of the morning meeting should be relaxed and you must know how to encourage your subordinates. During the morning meeting, the operator can reflect the problem and actively participate. If necessary, there can be guidance and assistance from superiors.

Xiao Wang works in the newspaper office, and the page in charge includes the weather forecast column, because the weather forecast published recently is not very accurate, he has been questioned and condemned by readers many times.

Xiao Wang asked me if there was any good way, and I said, "It's easy to do, the content is the same, and write at the end: 'Subject to the actual weather of the day'." ”

01。Last week, our class took the school bus to take the electronic CAD certificate, passing through Renhe Town, Baiyun District, I saw a signboard "Human and Domestic Dog Breeding Center", I was stunned for a moment, and immediately laughed. The girl next to me asked "what are you laughing at", I said it was okay, and laughed again.

Classmate: "? Isn't this guy better, why is it here again".

02。Tomato A and Tomato B go shopping. Tomato B asked, "Where are we going?" Tomato A did not answer. Tomato B asked again, "Where are we going?" Tomato A turned to B and said, "We are tomatoes, how can we speak, dizzy."

03。A parrot in a restaurant hangs at the door, and when a guest arrives, he says, "Hello, welcome!" "One of the regulars thought: I'll hurry in and see how you react. One day he ran in and the parrot said, "* Startle me!!

04。When I was in high school, once after class, my classmates rushed out to buy a boxed lunch. In order to arrive before others, a girl took a shortcut, but the manhole cover in front of her was not covered and fell.

After a while, she climbed up the edge of the well, very embarrassed, a group of junior high school children walked by in horror, she was in a hurry, and said while climbing: Hey, it's really difficult to repair.

05。The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to live this life of jumping up and down again. The monkey was furious: Leave and leave, who has ever seen a kiss and have to climb a tree.

Xiao Ming was walking on the road and suddenly saw a lump of Xiang.

Then he picked up the piece of Xiang and swallowed it, saying, "It turned out to be, but fortunately I didn't step on it."

1 (talking about filial piety), waiting for the train at the station, I heard the conversation between the two, a: "The eldest son asked me to live in Beijing, and the second son asked me to live in Nanjing."

b: "You are so happy, both sons are so filial".

A: "The eldest son is in Nanjing, and the second son is in Beijing".

2 (talking about ability), "From today onwards, my surname will be Lai." ”

Why???

Because I'm a man worthy of a surname. ”

4 (Ease the atmosphere, change the subject), a friend of mine is going to play in the grassland. As an expert, I explained some basic safety knowledge to her. For example, when she encounters a wild wolf alone, don't turn around and run away, humans will never be able to compete with wolves.

The correct approach should be to stay put, make head-on contact with the wolf's gaze, stare at it, don't move away, and hold on as long as you can, so that you will die with more dignity ......

When he woke up in the morning, he found a dead mosquito lying next to his pillow, and a suicide note next to it, which read: "I have struggled all night but have not been able to pierce your face, it is so thick that I have no shame to live in this world, Lord, please forgive him, I committed suicide." ”

The executing officer walked into the cell and announced the order to the prisoner while shaking his raincoat, and the prisoner was surprised to say: brave such a heavy rain to go to the execution ground. The officer said, "What else do you have to complain about, I have to brave the rain to come back!"

The little couple quarreled and threw a pillow from upstairs, and a beggar happened to pass by, and they were very happy; In a moment the quilt flew down again, and the beggar was ecstatic. So he wiped his tears and shouted upstairs: Big brother, the source is good, throw that woman down!

The cobra is highly short-sighted, and the elephant has a first date, and after a polite conversation, the cobra said to the elephant's trunk: Hey, come on, and lead such a big pig, you are so polite!

There is a guest from the farmhouse, and the owner wants to kill the rooster, but the rooster flies up to the roof and does not come down. The master scolded: If you don't come down again, I will kill all the hens, so that your life is worse than death hail slag! Rooster laughs: Haha! When I come down, the hen will be better off alive than dead!

The fish said to the water: I open my eyes all the time, just so that you can always cover the beam in my eyes! The water says: I flow all the time, just to be able to hug you forever! The pot said: Damn! It's almost ripe and poor!