Ask for jokes to be classic, about 80 150 words, don t finish it in one sentence, girlfriend loves t

One day I went out alone, and I met a neighbor on the way. The neighbor asked him what he was doing, and he calmly said that he was going to walk the dog. After a while, the neighbor saw him running back in a hurry, and when the neighbor asked him what he was doing, he said that he had forgotten to bring the dog.

Accidentally. The doctor was curious, so he asked him how he made himself so serious, and he said aggrievedly: "That day he was working in the field, and he felt that there were stones in his shoes, so he held on to the electric tower on the side of the judgment, and shook his shoes vigorously.

One day you crouched on the side of the road, looking carefully at a pile of poop. You smell it, is it poop? You pick at it with your hands, as if it were poop. You put it in your mouth and taste it: it's poop! You're so happy:: Thankfully I didn't step on it! Collapse change.

on the street. a：“toｍ！

Long time no see! What a change you've made! Your hair used to be straight, but now it's curly, your hair used to be dark and thick, but now you're bald, you used to be tall and thin, now you're short and fat, you used to be energetic, but now you're listless.

B: "Really? But I'm not called Tom! ”

A: "Oh?? Have you even changed your name? ”

b：“@#

The two shell mantis discussed the welfare lottery, and A said: If I win the jackpot, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles, and eat enough every day! B said, "You are too vulgar!" If I win the jackpot, I will buy a living person and eat fresh food every day!

A certain gentleman was drunk and mistakenly entered the women's toilet and vomited. It happened that a woman was relieving herself, and a certain gentleman heard it and said angrily: 'If you don't drink it, why do you still pour wine?' The woman stopped suddenly when she heard the sound, but she held back a fart, and Jun was furious when she heard it: "Who the opened another bottle!" ’

High school boy in love A high school boy called ** to his girlfriend in the middle of the night to talk about love, and was unfortunately picked up by the girl's mother.

After asking about the intention, his girlfriend's mother asked very unhappily, "What's your last name?" ”

The boy said, "My surname is Wei." ”

The mother asked again, "Wei what?" ”

Effective method.

The fat man asked the doctor, "Doctor, what is the most effective method?" ”

The doctor glanced at the fat man and said, "Shake your head." ”

Shake one’s head? When? ”

When someone else asks you to eat. ”

Two neurotics escaped from the asylum, and they had to climb over 100 walls. When they climbed over the 66 walls together, one neurotic asked another: Are you tired?

A: Not tired! So when they went on to the 99th wall, another neurotic asked the first:

Dude, are you tired? A: Tired!

So they flipped back on....

Man is life, why is there no such word as death.

Hahaha relax the loan program but the French import space is divided.

Go to the Highlight Encyclopedia to find it, there should be something you like! Hehe.

Dare to ask me for money I'm an IT man, and I'm going to a supermarket to shop tonight. When I saw a beggar, I stretched out my hand and said, "Boss, give me some money," I said

I'm not the boss, I don't have any money", he said, "a piece of five cents is fine". When I heard that I was very angry, I shouted at him:

I have a salary of 2600 a month, 31 days without a break, 24 hours on call. That is to say, 44,640 minutes a month earn 2,600 yuan, an average of one yuan per minute, less than 6 cents a minute, you ask me for 1 yuan, only 13 words spoken, it took seconds before and after, and I earn 1,030 seconds for 1 yuan, and the dead brain cells are even more astronomical, you still dare to ask me for money?! When the beggar heard this, he gave me 2 pieces and burst into tears

Today, I saw a foreigner on the bus, wearing headphones and humming in his mouth, listening carefully to the mighty, he sang: You ri, my sister, you ri, my mother, you ri, my lover, my whole family, ......I jumped down.,How much hatred should this have.,And then figure it out.,Oh.,It turned out to be singing "You Are My Rose".。。

A child has been dizzy since learning that the earth is spinning, and his father has never fainted again.

A building was on fire, and a black child ran out of it, and the old man saw it and said, "It's all burnt, and it's running so fast!"

One day Xiao Ming's schoolbag couldn't be found, so he went to the police uncle and said uncle, my bag is missing, can you help me find it? The policeman's uncle said that the problem was wrapped up in me, and Xiao Ming said: Uncle, you can give it to me. Finish.

Bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with Pingdao.

When Bob was a child, his head looked like a brick and asked his mother: Is my head like a brick? His mother was afraid of hurting his self-esteem, so she said you should go to the well and take care of it. As soon as Bob arrived at the well, he heard someone at the bottom of the well shouting: Don't throw bricks on the top!

Bob's father was seriously ill and was hospitalized and wanted to see Bob, so Bob rushed back from out of town to see his father. As soon as he entered the ward, he rushed to his father's bed, and his father suddenly sat up, and the doctor was very surprised, and his father seemed to have something to say, but he couldn't say it, so he gestured with his hand to ask for a pen and paper, and the doctor brought a pen and paper, and Dad stuffed it to Bob after writing, and then he swallowed. Bob was heartbroken, and after taking care of his father's funeral, the family looked at his father's last words, which read, "Go away, you stepped on my oxygen tube".

Two men complained about too many people in the subway, and one man said: My wife was squeezed and miscarried last year. Another man said, "What's that, my wife is pregnant."

Lao Zhang was stitched to the "second child" by a bee, and he was swollen as thick as a wine bottle. When I arrived at the hospital, Lao Zhang's wife hurriedly found the doctor and said, "Please, can you just relieve the pain and not reduce the swelling."

There was a girl who let out a loud fart between classes.

I feel embarrassed.

I ate something bad today.

I accidentally farted". At this time, MM glanced at the boy next to him gratefully.

After a while, the girl couldn't hold it back.

I farted again.

At this time. Another boy on the side who also had a crush on this mm spoke.

It's so nice to see you all today.

I'll fart too."

mm also looked back at the boy gratefully after hearing this.

A moment later.

This mm farted again.

At this time, a boy who liked her more next to MM hurriedly stood up and pointed at this MM and spoke: "In the future, all the farts she puts will be counted as mine!" ”