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After all, the grades are what he has to face, the important thing is her own mentality, you are a good friend, indeed, you can think about him, but I want to face this achievement and such a strong him, maybe comfort is not a good way, I think he knows that the results will be very faceless, afraid of others laughing at it, I think you had better not say anything during this time, especially the grades, but don't show pride, and contempt. Come to him after a while, and don't talk about your grades. Just encourage him, don't be comforted, I want strong people who would rather be criticized than comforted.
The above is a personal opinion, I hope it can be helpful to you.
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I think your friend has a strong self-esteem, if that's the case, don't talk about it in front of him, spend more time with him, make him happy, but don't let him know that you are with him because he was scolded to make him happy, otherwise his self-esteem may suffer. Also, if he has anything to do to help him as much as possible, he must react to you as soon as he talks to you, otherwise he will be unhappy if he calls you and doesn't see you for a long time, and he will be unhappy, and you must learn to do what he likes. u^
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He can slowly understand the situation from the side and what has touched him recently, and slowly explain it to his face. It is more effective to persuade him to understand the end of the knot and his own and others' similar experiences, and after a while, he will be clearer, and it will be better for him to figure it out on his own.
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You talk to him, don't talk about the exam, otherwise he will think that you look down on him, you tell him: it may be that he has been under a lot of pressure recently, so he has not played normally, let him relax more, and then there may be a miracle.
The exam is originally an evaluation of the knowledge you have mastered, and the key is to experience and behave in the society in the future, and you don't need to pay too much attention to it.
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The teacher said that the test is a game of points, but this game is a little more cruel, everyone does not succeed in anything, and the occasional failure is regarded as a lesson.
Everybody makes mistakes, and you just have to correct them.
As for your friend, you can tell him some stories about these things and enlighten him, and I'm sure he will understand, and it's better not to get straight to the point, but to introduce it slowly, so that it may be easier to accept it, and I wish you success.
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When a person is in grief or pain, what they need most is to be noticed and understood, so the first thing we need to do is to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, say how the other person feels, and express empathy.
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What are you discouraged about? Isn't it just an exam? If it doesn't work this time, there will be a next time, and if it doesn't work next time, there will be a next time! From falling down, get up from**1
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Hey, friendship is a nerve-wracking thing
Failure once does not mean eternal failure
Since you are an optimistic person、
Then use your optimism to influence her!
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Ten words of comfort will greatly improve your eloquence if you master it.
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Even the wise can make mistakes. It's a long time coming.
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Meaningless. Victims of Chinese education.
At such a young age, he was burdened with a lot of study pressure.
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All I can say is that. It's just an exam.
Although some people will be very serious. But it is not necessary.
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Epistle comfort. It is suitable for comforting people who like to think alone and like to be quiet. Letters are sometimes more effective than verbal consolation, because they are effective for a long time, have many points for thought, and enable the person to be persuaded to deal rationally without being emotional.
Gift of comfort. It is suitable for comforting people with a strong romantic mood. Gifts can make people think about things and people, and strengthen their confidence to overcome difficulties. When a confidant sends a gift that you like on weekdays, a sense of comfort will arise spontaneously, and your mood will suddenly be brightened.
Hang out and comfort. It is more suitable for people who need to relax their mood, transfer their emotions, and vomit quickly. Walking around with others, talking while walking, and chatting while shopping, can allow others to vent their anger or depression, thereby reducing their psychological load.
Silent comfort. This method has a specific effect on people who are familiar with each other and need to comfort each other. Movements and eyes can often play the role of "silence is better than sound at this time", and the effect of this emotion achieves a unique comforting effect.
Chang Yitang said] The purpose of comforting others is to eliminate his distress, and the methods are flexible and diverse, and here is just a concept. In fact, what is really needed to comfort people is to understand the emotions of others and to have a sincere heart for yourself, with these two points, everything is easy to do.
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One exam doesn't prove anything.
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1. Talk less and listen more;
Everyone will be extremely disappointed or unsatisfactory, sometimes they may say: they don't need someone to comfort or accompany them, in fact, deep down they are longing for someone who can listen to them carefully and be able to accompany them silently.
Don't come up and share your own experiences and feelings, many people like to say "I have encountered your situation too" when comforting others, and then talk to yourself for 15 minutes, which will make the other person feel very bad.
Because he has lost the feeling of being noticed, and human suffering needs to be noticed.
So, if you don't know how to comfort your friend, and you're worried that the comforting words are inappropriate, the best way is to talk less, listen more, and be quiet with him.
2. Empathy supports the other person's feelings.
Empathy is a term used in EQ theory to understand the feelings and emotions of others in order to understand each other's feelings and emotions in order to achieve mutual understanding, care, and emotional rapport.
It is not the same as compassion, it facilitates the connection, but compassion invalidates the connection.
There is a particularly good metaphor in the short film "The Power of Empathy": empathy is like someone trapped in a hole in the ground, and they shout at the bottom: I'm trapped, it's so dark here, I can't stand it anymore.
We see it saying "hey" and crawling down and saying: I know what it's like down here, you're not alone.
Response: "It's hard to get things right.
Whenever we encounter these sad things, we try to do something to make things feel better;
But when I share something very sad with you, I'd rather you tell me that while I don't know what to say now, I'm grateful that you're willing to tell me this. ”
I don't know what to say, but I'm so glad you told me. ”
3. Find a way to solve the problem.
All human suffering is essentially anger at one's own impotence. Rather than empathy, the right medicine is the right medicine.
Where Are You Going, Dad 5" Jasper was aggrieved and accused Dad: "You get angry every day. ”
Chen Xiaochun's first reaction was not to justify, but to comfort him:
I didn't mean to lose my temper. Well, I'm not going to lose my temper anymore, okay? ”
The point of comfort is to address it, not to avoid it.
4. Support the other person's feelings.
Be sure to affirm and support the other person's feelings, and you can never go wrong with such words.
For example, if the other party breaks up and is very sad, you should support the other party unconditionally: "It will definitely be sad when you encounter this situation, and it will not be uncomfortable to change anyone." ”
This kind of talk is called affirmation and support for the other person's feelings.
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Hello, friends and family quarrels can be comforted like this:
If it's him and his parents, then listen to him and tell him what's going on, you help him judge to see who is right and who is wrong, if he's wrong, then talk to him well, take your time, don't worry, otherwise things will only get more and more messy, if it's his parents then you can call his parents ** to communicate, if you really want to help. There are many ways to do it.
If it's his parents who are arguing, you tell him to make him want to open some. You can take the time to talk to his father or mother alone and ask what is going on, and if the parents say that the child should not care, then leave it alone for the time being. After a while, let him go to his relatives, such as his father's brother or his grandparents, etc., and the elders will be easier to say.
Hope it helps
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Life is originally an impromptu performance, there is no dream that cannot be made, only people who do not wake up early.
Forgiveness is not because of a generous heart, but because of reluctance. Not forgiving is not necessarily because the sin is not forgiven, but because the heart has departed. True love will definitely make people soft-hearted.
But all the feelings that have nothing to do with soft-heartedness are just illusions. When a person insists on not forgiving you, there is no need to say more.
Love is a feeling, that is, pain and happiness through history; Loving limbs is a kind of experience, even if the heart is broken, it will feel sweet; Love is an experience that feels beautiful even when broken. Friends, please don't give up and find another world of your own.
No matter when you finish, the important thing is that you don't regret it when it's over.
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You're great, you're good, there will really be people who love you very much, please stop your crankiness. 2.Please, don't be unhappy, you're really nice and cute girl 3
I can't empathize, but I can be your best listener4When adults are tired, you can also be my little friend5In fact, I have always wanted to tell you, if one day you are very tired, and you are very tired, you turn around and look at me, I have always been by your side, and I have always been, if one day you really can't hold on, it doesn't matter, you tell me, I will take your hand and continue to move forward.
Remember, you still have me. 6.Put away your sadness, and don't forget that you are also a special person.
7.There are people who pass by your world and bring you a different color, but because you yourself are eye-catching enough, you don't need to be depressed, and it will be better in the future. 8.
Don't be sad, I'll ask you a question. Will an ordinary puppy think that the police are coming when they see a police dog9In the vast world, you will always be my exception.
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Ways to comfort a friend are: listening to the other person's distress, helping the other person solve real problems, diverting the attention of the other person's emotions, accepting the other person's world, and making good use of empathy.
1. Listen to the other person's distress
Listening is to listen to the other person's voice with our ears and hearts, not to ask about the cause and effect of things, and not to rush to judgment, but to give the other person space so that he can freely express his feelings.
2. Help each other solve practical problems
Sometimes, verbally comforting a person is only a superficial effect, and after the current emotions have passed, the other party will still be troubled by the things in front of them. When a person has the ability to solve problems for others, it is more effective to give comfort in action than to comfort in words.
3. Divert the focus of the other party's emotions
When comforting someone, you may want to try to use diversion comfort to try to divert the other person's attention and guide the other person out of the negative emotion. Change.
4. Accept each other's world
The comforter needs to let go of his own deep-seated beliefs, admit his biases, and truly put himself in the other person's shoes to see the problems he is facing.
5. Make good use of empathy
Even if we have experienced similar experiences, we can't understand the feelings of others 100%, but we can use empathy to care for them.
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