Psychological Counseling Record丨Why don t children communicate with their parents?

First of all, we must have a mindset of acceptance. We must correct our mentality, and treat children with psychological problems normally, because everyone may have psychological problems.

Parental anxiety. Secondly, let me share my experience of doing psychological work and communicating with parents in daily life, and see how to communicate with parents.

oneDo it according to the acceptability of parents at the mass level.

We can help parents to understand the current problems of their children, what they are, but we avoid parents from having a state of "talking about the tiger" on psychological problems, so we should help parents from psychological confusion, there are some situations that children need to solve, and help parents accept that their children are indeed in some psychologically unhealthy conditions, so as to gradually get closer to him to accept that children have psychological problems.

II. II. IIPay attention to the realistic and specific situation with parents. The most acceptable thing for parents is that you can specifically put out the child's current situation, what kind of problems he has in ****, he is seeking psychological satisfaction in ****, there is a psychological distortion situation, and there are psychological conflicts. You only have to help the parent realize the child's current problems, and then you tell him that his child has some psychological problems, and he will accept it better.

ThreeThe normal view of psychological problems in today's society. Today's society is a pluralistic society, and everyone is very tolerant, and the problems that occur in each person are not like the past "talking about the change of heart". So now we have some psychological problems such as depression and anxiety, which are also acceptable.

Nowadays, there are many people with psychological problems, and everyone can accept the psychological problems of others from a tolerant, diversified perspective, a modern perspective, and an open mind.

Mental health. Now it is an inclusive society, a pluralistic society, a broad-minded society, a multi-vision society, and a society that can open up. Therefore, we must be open-minded and accept all kinds of psychological problems that may arise in children and in each person.

When problems occur, we know how to seek help from a psychologist or psychological counseling to help us solve various psychological problems and confusions, so that we can have a more perfect personality and a healthier spiritual pursuit.

I think there are two ways to solve it:

1.Have your child go directly to a psychiatrist. It is most authoritative to use a psychiatrist's diagnosis to tell your parents.

But if the psychiatrist doesn't agree that you have a mental illness. Then congratulations. Problem solving.

The relationship between parents can really affect the mental health of their children. But parents are not in the child's control. Because they are individuals.

What everyone can control and change can only be themselves. So your own psychological problems are actually the objective cause of your parents. Subjective causes must also be found within themselves.

Learn to regulate and change your emotions and mindset. Find a better version of yourself.

2.Be honest with your parents.

If you find it difficult to say it to your face, you can write it down and show it to your parents.

Be as specific as possible about your feelings and thoughts.

If your parents don't believe you for some reason, you can first tell an elder or teacher who is willing to listen to you and trust you and ask him to talk to your parents.

Because many parents never communicate with their children as an independent and autonomous person. It's like the parents I recently met taking their children to class, kid, why can't you put your shoes in order? The mother takes the child to play in the playground, and if you are disobedient again, I will go home by myself.

They are accustomed to accusing the controlling way of communicating with their children without realizing it.

But people have self-esteem, and in childhood, because of the need for survival, they will have to put away their edge, love the person around them who provides for them, and obey the environment.

By the time he reaches adolescence, his self-esteem must have come to the fore and he began to clash with his parents, will his parents change? No, the dominance they have enjoyed as superiors for more than ten years will not realize that it is their own problem at all, they will only feel that it is the child's problem.

As a parent, I will also use human nature to use status to control children, but I clearly know that it is just persistence, so in some scenarios, I have to and always remind myself that it is okay to not control the situation on this occasion?

There are three possible outcomes.

Children who are particularly weak in ego give in early.

Children with a particularly strong self grow up to be the existence of strong parents, anti-guest, or although they cannot occupy a dominant position, their parents do not interfere much, and they can still coexist peacefully.

Most children and their parents enter into a long conflict until they get into one or two.

Nervous and dizzying.

First, if parents and children do not want to communicate, then children will inevitably find someone who is willing to communicate. In this case, the child can come into contact with any kind of person, and you can't guarantee what kind of person your child will meet. Slowly, the child will become more and more rebellious, less and less inclined to go home, more and more alienated from the parents, and eventually the child will inevitably go astray.

Second, if parents and children do not communicate for a long time, the child may become more and more quiet, introverted, and silent, which may not only develop into psychological problems such as depression, but also cause him physical and mental suffering. The so-called "child" is rebellion and unfilial piety. If you argue according to reason, then you are a cruel and ruthless person, and you have failed all your suffering and suffering.

This point seems to be emphasized on the first floor, but I don't think it can be regarded as the root cause, it is just a set of words, just parents looking for legal support for their words and deeds. In conclusion, I think the fundamental reason why parents impose "children" is that many parents do not understand that this "child" has become or should become an "adult" who is independent and responsible in thinking and acting. What's even more vicious is that many parents themselves have only aged a few years and don't even know how to become "adults".

The same thing is not that the father is unwilling to communicate with his children, but that his starting point is different from ours, he thinks differently than we think, he does not want to accept our ideas. He felt in his heart that I was a father, you were a child, and you had to listen to me. When two people disagree, there is a conflict.

He suddenly felt that he was not important, he felt that he had a white-eyed wolf! Therefore, two people should find a common language when they speak.

<> How do parents and children communicate?

There are many times when parents find it difficult to communicate with their children and feel that they are tired in the process, but if before the children fall asleep, parents can sit down together to clean up the day's "garbage" and not let the sorrow stay overnight, which can be an active lifestyle. This requires the joint efforts of fathers, mothers, and children to achieve a more harmonious family life model.

Some parents feel that they can't communicate with their children, but in fact, the truth of the inability to communicate is that parents always maintain a high-minded posture for themselves when educating their children, and in this case, of course, the children are not willing to communicate well with their own parents. In fact, the relationship between mom and dad and baby is the relationship between dad and mom and baby, and it is also the relationship of friends.

In fact, the reason why parents and children cannot communicate is because parents always put themselves in the position of elders, and in such a situation, they may push their children very far. Because children will also be influenced by their parents and put their parents in a very high position, in such a situation, the child will retain some of his true state in front of his parents, and will not let his parents see their true selves.

If mom and dad are always like this, then the child will be more and more defensive about mom and dad, because the child does not feel that mom and dad can communicate well with themselves with such a mentality, so the child will have some problems. If parents want to communicate well with their children, they should let go of their mentality and try their best to become friends with their children.

Mom and dad should try their best to gain the trust of their children, if mom and dad have never gained the trust of their children, then the children will not be able to really communicate with their parents well. Because children have reservations about the excitement of referring to their parents, because if parents are too strict in front of their children, then it is impossible for children to tell their true state to their parents. Therefore, if parents want to communicate with their children well, they must first correct their mentality, communicate with their children well, and communicate with their children as equals.

It is a generation gap, because there are many differences between the concepts of parents and children, and parents will also criticize, so children have no way to communicate.

Didn't stand in the child's position to think about the dismantling of the clan to test some problems, so Yupi did not have a particularly good communication with the child in life, parents should choose a suitable way to communicate with the child.

Introduction: I feel that there are a lot of children who are reluctant to communicate with their parents, and they hide things in their hearts, which is mainly related to the parents' way of solving, at the beginning of the children want to communicate with their parents, but parents never understand, do not respect and always think that these things of children should not appear, their main task now is to learn for a long time will make children unwilling to communicate with parents, because they do not get the comfort they want, Instead, they received a criticism, and the child felt that he was not being respected and his self-esteem was hit.

In fact, it used to be like this, I wanted to talk to my parents about everything, talk to my parents, want to get the comfort of my parents, or get the encouragement of my parents, but every time I finished speaking, parents put all the responsibility on the body, never considered the problem from other aspects, and slowly I didn't like to communicate with my parents, and I didn't like to talk to my parents, I felt that it was good to be alone, and it was also a good choice to solve all things by myself. Most students should be in this state.

And parents always stand in their own position, feeling that everything they do is out of love for their children, but the child's mind is very sensitive, and he will feel that he is very bad, so he is repulsed and unwilling to continue to communicate with his parents. How many parents have been able to think about problems from the child's perspective when communicating with their children, basically criticizing their children from the perspective of parents, blaming their children, hitting their children, denying their children, and comparing their children. As a parent, don't always look at your child with colored glasses, learn to be aware of your mistakes and realize what your child needs.

Because their parents can't understand them better, their parents will taunt them, which makes their hearts hurt very much, so they don't want to talk to their parents.

Because many children feel that their parents can't understand them at all, and their own ideas are different from their parents' ideas, so they are reluctant to communicate with their parents.

Because parents and children think differently, and parents do not know how to understand their children, children are reluctant to communicate.

This is because many parents are reluctant to communicate with their children, and when their children talk to their parents, their parents do not take it seriously.

Parents and children are the closest relationship between them. It was supposed to be close. Harmonious communication is the only way to do it.

However, in real life, many children do not communicate smoothly with their parents. Didn't run into many issues. The reason for this is that the age gap leads to different lifestyle habits and different experiences.

There are three reasons for the inconsistency of each other's ideas and the difference in their goals for work and life. First, poor communication between parents and children is first caused by a large age gap and different living habits. The number one problem that causes miscommunication between parents and children.

It's the difference in living habits between each other. There is a very large age gap between parents and daughters. This creates a difference in the living environment between parents and children.

and the resulting differences in living habits. This difference in living habits directly leads to different understandings on many issues. This can lead to miscommunication between parents and children.

Second. Due to the different experiences of parents and children, the perception is inconsistent, which leads to communication difficulties. Parents have many years of experience in working, studying, and living.

And because children are young, they don't experience as much as their parents. This situation makes them very different in terms of concepts. When looking at the same issue, different understandings are often formed.

Therefore, when parents communicate with their children, it is often difficult to reach an agreement because of their different concepts. This can lead to difficulties in communication between parents and children. Third.

They have different goals for work and life. It can lead to communication difficulties between parents and children. This is why there are difficulties in communication between parents and children.

The most direct reason is that each other's goals for work and life are different. Parents often want their children to have a stable job and life. And children generally hope to pursue a better state of life through their own efforts.

As a result, there will be differences of opinion between parents and children. Difficulties arise when communicating, and this is the root cause of communication difficulties between parents and children.