Benefits of the Victim Mentality, What is the Victim Mentality?

Victim mentality: It is the idea that "you are a victim", that you are being treated unfairly everywhere in your life, and that you have no control over it.

In this state, you will feel pitiful, as if the whole world is against you, everyone is not good enough for you, and you feel that you are always stuck in trouble and hurt.

You can't and can't take action, only sadness and self-pity.

The victim mentality we are talking about here is not the psychological state of the real victim of domestic violence, workplace sexual harassment, or a great disaster, but an unhealthy self-defense mechanism.

This way of blaming outsiders for all unhappiness and unhappiness makes oneself temporarily sympathetic, comforted and even cared for.

In fact, it is the lack of inner self and the loss of control over life.

The victims believe that because it is not my responsibility, I am a victim of unfair treatment, so I cannot make any changes for the better.

How is the victim mentality formed?

The children running in the garden in the middle of the street, always surprised or curious at the first time he fell, raised their heads to confirm that an adult was around, and then cried loudly.

At this time, parents will pick up the child and give comfort and comfort.

In school, if someone hurts us, the teacher will also ask that person to apologize to us.

When suffering or being treated immorally or unfairly, it should be corrected and remedied – this is a belief that has been ingrained in us since childhood.

We unconsciously learn at an early age the idea of "being in a position of injury and allowing ourselves to benefit", and the patterns of behavior that it brings with us are also growing up.

But as adults, we no longer need others to intervene and help us in our lives.

If our mentality has not grown to the state of "taking responsibility for ourselves", we will want to find others to "blame" when we are injured, and it will evolve into a victim mentality.

If you don't do your job well, complain that your boss doesn't appreciate and don't promote yourself;

The relationship with your partner is a mess, thinking that it is all the other person's fault, and the other party does not understand and understand yourself;

complaining that the child is ignorant and disobedient, causing me to be so worried and anxious;

I feel that everything around me is not going well, and God is always against me;

If you are late and miss the last train, you can find countless reasons that are the fault of others or the outside world.

What are the benefits of a victim mentality?

From the time they are not yet able to speak, every child knows how to get the attention and compensation of their caregiver for the harm they have suffered.

When we grow up, we may even create this feeling of being hurt for ourselves in order to seek attention and emotional reparation from others.

We crave the attention and attention of others so that we don't have to take risks for failure in life and the weight of spiritual growth.

The so-called victim mentality refers to the practice of having a negative and distorted way of thinking to seek benefits and support for oneself, and they will have complaints and extreme attitudes, believing that everything is not their own responsibility, either the fault of others, or the darkness and unfairness of society.

People with a victim mentality usually have the following behavioral characteristics:

1. Blame others for all the things that don't go well in life. No matter what happens, he will not look at the problem neutrally and objectively, he will point the fuse of the problem at others, and use his own theory to distort the facts, so that others agree with his statement.

2. The society is dark, and it is the world that is wrong. They have very extreme, paranoid thoughts, thinking that the world is against them, and if something doesn't go their way, they will take drastic actions to express their emotions.

3. Understand the kindness of others as an attack. If others want to help him, they will not agree with others in their hearts, they will have a suspicious and paranoid attitude, thinking that the other party will harm them and plot wrongdoing, and they will use their own cognition and understanding to speculate on the behavior of others, and fabricate and distort facts out of nothing.

4. Never reflect on your mistakes. On the surface, there may be an attitude of admitting mistakes, but in the heart they will not accept what others say, and after the incident, they will still go their own way and do things again. The mistakes that were made in the past will happen again, and they will be exacerbated.

People who have a victim mentality are usually not psychologically healthy and have a certain degree of personality distress.

People with a victim mentality generally magnify the frustrations in their lives, and when they interact with others, they tend to think that others have bad intentions for them, and when their lives are not satisfactory, they tend to complain about the people around them, and feel that their appearance has delayed their lives.

People with a "victim mentality" are accustomed to positioning themselves as "victims" in the situation, because in this way, they do not have to take responsibility and do not have to try to change the status quo, and it becomes the norm to complain, blame, and vent their anger on others.

Once people define themselves as victims, it is easy for them to project others or the outside world as "perpetrators", so that they are completely opposed to the outside world, thinking that they are the most pitiful people, others do not understand them, the whole world is against them, everyone is not good enough for themselves, and they are deeply trapped in the pain of being hurt and cannot extricate themselves.

Originated from the parents' disacceptance of themselves, the sense of self-worth is too low, the thinking is still stuck in the outward attribution, and the inner strength is lacking.

In their hearts live a "helpless child", they feel that it is difficult to change their current state of life, so they always stay in complaining, they like to blame each other, complain about their parents and leaders, as if the status quo is caused by others. Because only this kind of thinking can make their hearts feel better and prove that they are not wrong, but others.

<> "Abandon the "victim mentality" to find the right job.

What is a "victim mentality" and what is a victim mentality?

It refers to the state of mind that others have not actually done harm, but still feel that they are owed and let down. Many people are looking for jobs and changing jobs: there is a voice circulating among the people looking for jobs in the market:

Enterprises don't want to hire people at all, and HR is looking for you to complete the interview KPI. This is a typical "victim mentality".

As soon as things turn unfavorable to you, you immediately put yourself in the role of a victim, feel that your situation is planned by others, and then rationalize your current situation and behavior. And this, to put it mildly, to a certain extent, wears out your enthusiasm for one thing, which is very detrimental to finding a job! In the big picture, it is not conducive to the long-term development of the self.

Is the KPI of HR recruitment really the number of interviews?

Of course not! Generally, the recruitment KPI of HR is [number of hires] [number of invitees], that is, the number of effective invitees. See?

HR does know KPIs, but it is only when you see in you the possibility of becoming a molecule that you will be invited. In other words, if you have the possibility of being "hired", you will be invited for an interview. You need to build confidence in yourself and prepare your resume and interview well.

Enterprises blindly pulling people will not bring any benefits to the company, but will waste HR resources and occupy time.

There is no letter after the HR interview, isn't it still raising a spare tire?

You need to know: HR is not "professional" in your field of expertise! If you can enter the next round of interviews, it only means that you have met the basic requirements for judging candidates in the HR field, and it is the comprehensive results of each round of interviews that determine whether to admit you.

Frankly speaking, as far as I am concerned, many times some candidates cannot fully meet the employment requirements at the HR level, but because I cannot accurately judge at the "technical" level, I will discuss with the employing department and give them a second chance to enter the next round. But if the technology is not good enough, it will be brushed off. So as candidates, we have to build confidence in ourselves that we don't get brushed off until the last round of interviews, not at the beginning.

Will the interviewer make it difficult for the candidate and deliberately refuse to give it?

What you need to know is: many interviewers, especially interviewers in large factories, are squeezing out time for interviews in their daily work, and sometimes they may have just "torn" with someone at the meeting, or they were scolded by their superiors, or they have encountered problems at work, and they can't manage their emotions well, which does not mean that they are "unworthy" to be a leader interviewer, and it is very normal for them to be in a bad mood, and we can show our professionalism.

There really is no one who is going to embarrass an irrelevant person, and it won't do him any good, more interviewers just want to get to know you in the shortest possible time. To sum up, 99% of people who fail the interview are really just a matter of "matching", and there is no need to find various reasons to prove anything. Only by letting go of the victim's heart and accepting your current shortcomings can you start to change and find a job that suits you.