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In the university, you are generally a dormitory group, and you will only know the people in your dormitory, and you are more distant from people outside your dormitory, which is why, because you and your roommates live together every day, and you go to class together. In fact, when it comes to the classes you go to class together every day, you go to class with your roommates, and you rarely go with others, and I believe everyone must be like this. And when you first enter the university, you must only know the people in your dorm and don't know anything about the people outside the dorm, so of course you learn to get along with them and not think about becoming good friends with people outside the dorm.
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In middle school, everyone has a fixed classroom and a fixed seat. The three-year class is the three-year class, and there will be no students from other classes who run in for no reason. We were in the same class, in mathematics, Chinese, and English, and we stayed in the same place every day, so we naturally knew a lot.
In the university, there is no fixed classroom, fixed seats, everyone is in a hurry to finish one class and then rush to the next class, maybe two majors together, three majors together, or cross-college classes, sitting in a variety of ways. **Which one is in our class, and chat? Secondly, there are various clubs and student organizations in the university, and some people will put a lot of effort into this, which makes everyone's circle expand a lot.
At the same time, less energy is spent on the classmates.
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Universities are small groups, and the whole class will not get acquainted, after all, people from all over the country gather in one class, and there are some living habits or regional influences. There are also separate dormitories, and basically people in the same dormitory usually go in and out together. And sometimes they don't get together in class, and some people can't recognize their classmates in school for a year or two.
Some people forget most of their classmates after graduating for a year or two. It's best to participate in more club activities, college activities, etc., and make more friends, which will help you in the future. Don't think about having a class dinner or something, just get together in a small area.
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I think this is a common phenomenon. Although we have classes in the same classroom every day, and then we participate in any activities as a class, in fact, sometimes you will find that you are not familiar with them at all, in fact, you are like the most familiar strangers, maybe your friendship with them is only to the extent of meeting and greeting. But I think this phenomenon exists no matter what university you are in, which class or grade you are in, and it has become a common phenomenon.
In fact, the reason behind him is also very simple, you just need to pay attention to it and you will find out.
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There are too few class activities. I don't think it's the responsibility of the class committee, it's the responsibility of every student in the class. For example, every year in our class, the class committee will try their best to prepare a class activity, but the number of participants is very small, regardless of whether everyone's reasons are true or not, but many people are reluctant to go, and I am one of them.
The reason is very simple, mainly because everyone is only familiar with the people in the dormitory, and when they go out with other students, everyone will still take the dormitory as a unit, so they don't really want to spend that unjust money. So the class event was organized once, and once failed, and so far, our class has held one or two activities.
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Everyone in the university has their own things to do, you will meet many people in many places, and you can find more like-minded friends, so everyone's circle is not limited to the class. But although it doesn't feel particularly familiar, the boys are still very responsible. Although I don't talk much, I will still help those who should help.
After all, it's a class, so it's good to get along slowly.
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Everyone in the university has their own ideas, their own circles, various clubs, each dormitory, each different courses, everyone has their own ideas, plans, unlike before, everyone is aiming for the university entrance examination, and everyone in the university has different goals.
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I think there are three reasons why the relationship between my college classmates is estranged: first, the format of college classes is very different from that of high school; Second, we have more and more free time at our disposal in college; Third, when we went to college, we had more hobbies than before.
First of all, the mode of our classes before we go to college is to take classes as a unit, and no matter what classes are taken together, so your classmates will meet every day and have to contact each other every day. However, after going to college, the concept of class is not so prominent, university classes are often not together every day, there is no fixed teacher, and classmates, some public subjects and even several majors and several classes together, so that the students you face are strangers most of the time, and there is less communication, everyone is out of class and leaves, and even people in the same dormitory are not in the same place.
Secondly, compared to before college, especially high school, our homework load is much lighter, so that we have more and more time at our disposal, and we are not confined to the same schedule. Therefore, in addition to the students in the dormitory, we have more contact opportunities, and for the students who are not in the same dormitory, everyone is doing their own thing, each has its own schedule, and there are fewer opportunities for contact, so it will naturally become alienated.
Finally, when we went to college, we found that there was more to do on the university campus than just classes. There are many colorful club activities in the university, some students will choose to participate in student unions and other organizations, some students put their time on self-employment, or, when most of the students in the third year choose to go to graduate school, so we have less time to interact with people, everyone's activities are very diverse, independent choices are large, so it is normal for students to become estranged from each other.
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A university is a small society, a microcosm of society.
Social relations are very complicated, and there are too many suspicions and deceptions between people, because there are many interests involved, so they are not so simple.
When I was a student, there was no conflict of interest, and the natural relationship was relatively pure.
Generally, college life is mostly in small groups, and people with similar interests, hobbies and aspirations go to school and eat together, plus college classmates are all gathered together, everyone lives in different places, the living environment and differences are too great, and even the language is not understood, many things that are normal to you may be different in the eyes of others, which is caused by the difference in the background of life. Everyone's been in this situation since they went to college, so don't worry too much.
If you are really not used to this kind of life, and want to return to the good relationship between male and female classmates in high school and junior high school, you must work hard to get along with others many times harder than before, communicate, exchange, help classmates more, and be very active and active in activities with others, but you must be good at other people's gossip about you, because many people will find it strange and think that you have a purpose, such as wanting to be a student union cadre or want to join the party or something, and working hard may not have obvious results, I hope you recognize the facts, Adjust your mindset and handle good interpersonal relationships.
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Because, the time to study together has become less, and they all have their own circles. There are also more friends, and many people are not in the same place. So there will be alienation.
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Families vary greatly from region to region, and universities are relatively free, so not everyone will do the same thing.
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You say that this problem also exists, but it is not objective, because it is not normal for students to be estranged from each other, and your classmates should understand and help each other, right? If your classmates are a little estranged from each other, it's how do you communicate with others, right?
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Because the alumni in the university come from all over the world, and they are not familiar with the place. My roommates are my most frequent contact, and I prefer to communicate with them. In a large classroom, although students study together, we usually don't have the opportunity to contact each other, and we are relatively unfamiliar with each other.
And everyone is an adult, and I don't think the same way as others, so it's normal to be estranged.
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It's normal, after all, roommates and you live together every day, get up together every day, eat and sleep together, the daily life route is the same, and they know each other well enough, so they will definitely have a good relationship with them, and other people's words may just meet every day, not deep enough, and there is no common topic, after all, they have not experienced anything together, and estrangement is also a matter of course.
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The main reason for the increasing estrangement between college classmates is that they are all adults, and they all come to the same school from all directions, and their ideas have changed to a certain extent, so this will lead to such a result.
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There are also the contradictions between the dormitories reported on the Internet before, putting needles in dance shoes, drugged in the water dispenser, leading others in the dormitory to isolate themselves, etc., for fear that they will offend others by doing something wrong.
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College classmates generally come from all over the country, and the verbal communication between students is relatively not very smooth, and there are great differences in living habits, customs and customs, etc., so compared with middle school classmates, it seems more estranged.
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During college, I focused on my studies, and I was worried about my future career, and I didn't go to play together every day like in elementary and junior high school, so the relationship was slightly distant.
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College is a small society, many times there is no heart-to-heart, and during the college period, people become complicated, more mature minds, not so easy to communicate with each other, keep a distance from each other.
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If others don't take the initiative, you take the initiative, you take the initiative yourself, and the relationship will be closer. There are many reasons why they do not take the initiative to communicate, such as personality, family environment, and interests.
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Today's era is the information age, and mobile phones take up all our free time, so there is less communication between classmates. Now not to mention in college, it is the same in our ordinary family, there is less communication between parents and children, and even less words between husband and wife. Modern people pick up their mobile phones and entertain them in their phones when they are free.
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Because everyone participated in various clubs in college, or they were all in love, they went to do their own things in their spare time, and there were fewer opportunities for communication when they were together in the dormitory.
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Because the university is already half a society, many of them belong to social relations, and there are many competing interests. After a long time, there will still be sincere friendships in the four years of college.
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Answer, I am far away from the students in college, because the college classes are more than the high school class, and the college classes are all together, and they leave after class, as if they don't know each other, and they also know each other in their roommates.
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Because college students are already adults, they have their own thoughts, and it can be said that they are getting deeper and deeper, so they don't communicate with people much.
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It should be said that some of them are still very close. If they are classmates of the same sex, they may not have the same personality and interests, and their pursuit of study and work is also different; If it is a classmate of the opposite sex, it is generally difficult to establish a real friendship except for boyfriend and girlfriend and girlfriends of the opposite sex.
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First, it is the state of university life.
At university, except for classes together, they are not there at other times, and they do their own things. Some people go to the library to study; Some people are busy playing with their phones; Some people are busy participating in various activities of the club, large and small.
Some people are busy writing plans; Some people are busy with work-study; Some people are busy in love; If you spend less time together, you can't fully understand each other, and you lack a key condition to become friends, so you can't become friends.
Second, it is the hometown.
University students come from all over the world, and their living habits and ways of thinking are very different. Unlike middle school classmates, most of them live in the same city, not only classmates, but also fellow villagers, speak the same dialect, have common living habits, and even parents and relatives may know each other, and there are too many intersections.
Everyone goes home during the winter and summer vacations, and it is relatively easy to hold a class reunion.
Third, it is where to go after graduation. Although they study the same major in college, due to multiple factors such as major, employment, and further study, there are not many people who are actually engaged in the same field and industry, and there are not many people who work in the same city.
Brothers and sisters who sleep with each other often live apart after graduation, and it is difficult to reunite. Even if there is contact with various channels on the Internet, after all, it is space-free, and the frequency will gradually decrease and alienate after a long time.
Finally, I want to say: the older you get, the more lonely you become. Absolutely.
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Not for long. Because there are more activities in college, and some classmates are also in love, it is natural to be a little distracted. It also has a little to do with the personality of your classmates.
College classmates are your current friends who are in contact with the "highest level of thinking", if you were asked to pick one that you don't understand the most and who has the most ability to deceive you, I think you will most likely pick among your college classmates.
In fact, there is no big deal, so that you have more free time to arrange some things you want to do, college time is beautiful and short, I hope you can learn university knowledge during this time, and plan more for the future.
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Maybe it's just your delusion, I used to talk very little in the class, always alone, at that time I felt that my classmates didn't like me, and then through a friend opened a breakthrough, and the relationship with my classmates also improved. Later, a classmate told me that I didn't speak before and had a serious face, and everyone was a little afraid that I wouldn't dare to talk to me, so are you usually a little cold? Maybe people just don't know you, you can try to get closer to them first.