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In the process of parent-child communication, criticism, as a way of education and communication, is always inevitably used by parents, especially when children make mistakes. It is important to choose the right method at the right time and not to abuse it.
The American educator Thaler once said: "Parents criticize and educate their children, it is not feasible to rely on coercive pressure, only by giving children sufficient opportunities to speak, can they analyze their own behavior, touch the depths of their souls, and make them convinced." ”
Parents should not think that the louder the criticism, the better the child's education. Especially in some specific situations, we should learn to restrain ourselves and not force criticism of children when we should not criticize. After all, it is our real goal to let children benefit from criticism!
1.Criticize your child in moderation
When the child makes a mistake, don't be angry, immediately to the child, do not leave any affection to the child, if it is at school or in public, you can tell the child, "You think about whether you did it right", and then criticize his behavior when he gets home, at this time the child has reflected on his behavior, and then criticize and educate him, he can also quickly accept opinions, and will not hurt the child's self-esteem.
2.Multi-affirmative criticism
Although many children make mistakes, there are still shining points in their mistakes. If Guoguo's mother finds the child, she will first affirm: "Yes, I will find a partner to play with myself", and then criticize him:
But it's not right if you didn't tell me. In the future, remember to tell your mother when you go out, and the effect will be better. Because affirmative criticism protects your child's legitimate thoughts or practices, his emotions will not be damaged, and he will be more accepting of your teachings.
3.Take a different position
When a child gets into trouble and is scolded by their parents, they often put the blame on others to escape the scolding from their parents. At this time, the most effective way is to respond to your child's argument that it is someone else's fault and has nothing to do with him, "If you were that person, how would you explain it?" This will make the child think:
What should I say if I am someone else? This will make most children realize that they are also at fault, and will prompt them to reflect on their own mistakes in blaming others for all their faults.
Give your child comfort after criticism
No one likes the feeling of being criticized, and neither do children. When children are criticized for making mistakes, they tend to become depressed and unmotivated. At this time,Parents should pay more attention to their children's emotional changes and give them some psychological comfort
Eliminate your child's concerns and let them know that even if they make mistakes, their parents still love them;
In addition, parents should also convey the correct concept to their children, it is not terrible to do wrong things, and the key is to correct them in time and take them as a warning.
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When children make mistakes, parents must be calm to inspire their children, and then do not directly scold the children, so that the children can quickly understand the parents' intentions.
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When criticizing children, let them realize their mistakes, not be too harsh, but grasp the strength, and let children correct their mistakes.
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If the child makes mistakes, if the parents can enlighten the child calmly and do not directly criticize his mistakes, the child will quickly understand the parents' intentions and be willing to accept the parents' criticism and education, and this will also protect the child's self-esteem.
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Parents criticize their children with a louder voice than usual, this kind of "low and powerful" sound will cause the child's attention, and it is easy for the child to pay attention to what you say, this kind of soft "cold violence" is usually better than the role of loud reprimand.
Once a child does something wrong, he is always worried that his parents will blame him, and if our way of dealing with it is as he wishes, the child will have a feeling of "suddenly enlightened", and will not care about criticism and his own mistakes; On the other hand, if parents pretend to be deaf and dumb, the child's mentality will be anxious, and he will feel "uncomfortable", so that he will reflect on his mistakes.
Sometimes, when a child makes a mistake, parents can use the way of suggestion, not immediately criticize his fault, according to the way of suggestion, enlighten the child's mistakes, let the child understand the role of parents, accept the parents' criticism and education, and at the same time maintain the child's self-esteem.
Evading responsibility is a human relevance, and when a child is inconvenienced and is blamed by his parents, he usually pushes the responsibility on others, and Bi Que always tries to avoid the blame of his parents. At this time, the most effective way is to respond to the child's "If you are that person, how can you explain it?" when the child argues that it is someone else's fault and has nothing to do with him, which will make the child think: If he is someone else, what should he say?
This will make the vast majority of children realize that they are also at fault and will encourage them to reflect on their own mistakes in framing others with all their obligations.
Criticize the child immediately, at the same time can not mention the past, the younger child has a worse view of time, what happened yesterday, it seems that many days have passed, plus the child's nature is playful, the mistake just made will be forgotten in a blink of an eye. Therefore, parents criticize their children for taking advantage of the hot iron, and they can procrastinate if they don't answer the year, otherwise, they will get twice the result with half the effort.
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After criticism, it is necessary to give a certain amount of praise, so that the child can be trapped and have a certain degree of Wang Jingsen's confidence, and when criticizing the child, he must be more objective and realistic, so that he can understand what he is wrong, and do not draw conclusions to the child.
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First of all, you must communicate from the child's point of view, but when the child makes a mistake, you must first pay attention to your own attitude. Then there is the ability for children to say their own mistakes in changing their relatives, and to sell jujubes to recognize it.
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Parents should never criticize their children.
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When criticizing a child, you must be harsh, let the child know that he is wrong, let him know not to do it again next time, you can't pick it up gently, put it down gently, and you must criticize it harshly.
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Mom and Dad should be emotionally stable and calm, this is the first priority, otherwise the aura of criticism will hurt the child and also hurt themselves. Accept and criticize first: Accept and tolerate your child's emotions first, and enter the same channel of communication with your child in order to produce the effect of criticism.
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When criticizing a child, be careful not to hurt the child's personal dignity, and remember to focus on reminding rather than blindly blaming the child.
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Parents should also pay attention to ways and means when criticizing their children, and if they want to have a better effect, they must do the following:1. Distinguish the occasion. Second, pay attention to the wording. 3. Treat things not people. Fourth, appropriate cold treatment.
Criticizing children must be aware of the occasionDo not criticize your child in public or in public, or in front of friends, relatives or peersThis can make the child feel embarrassed, have a serious loss of self-esteem, and will be resistant. No matter what the parents say, the children will not listen, so the effect of criticism will not be obvious, and it will even have the opposite effect.
If parents want to criticize and educate their children, they should do so in privateFind alone time or a private spaceCommunicate well with your child, save your child's face, and don't embarrass him, which can have a good effect.
Parents criticize their children, the purpose is to let the child correct his shortcomings and be able to grow better, the intention is good, but as dusty, pay attention to the wording, don't hurt the child's self-esteem, even if you are angry, be patient, don't say anything that is very extreme. For example:Words like "You are hopeless", "Why are you so stupid", "Why are you not as good as so-and-so", are very harmful to children.
Originally, I wanted the child to correct the shortcomings, but in this way, it is very easy to cause the child's rebellious psychology and hurt the child's self-esteem.
Parents should be objective and rational when criticizing their children, and focus on how to promote their children to correct their shortcomings, rather than holding on to their shortcomings and blindly blaming their children。It should be done on a case-by-case basis, not over old accountsExplain clearly to the child about the current matter, ** what you have done wrong, how to improve.
Parents should first be calm, not excited, do not hold on to the points of the child's mistakes, should focus on how to correct the shortcomings, the focus is to discuss the matter, rather than blindly criticizing the child.
Parents criticize their children, sometimes the child is not willing, calmly accepting, or even emotionally strong, the words are very impulsive, then at this time, parents must calm down,You can take a disregard attitude, treat it coldly, and wait for the child to think calmly and calm down the impulse before communicating.
If both parties are very emotional, only think about the problem from their own point of view, it is very easy to intensify the conflict, and even forget what the contradiction conflict point is, and finally evolve into just a quarrel, then of course it will not have a communication effect.
Parents should also pay attention to ways and means when criticizing their children, and cannot blindly blameYou should restrain your emotions, communicate with your child equally, objectively point out your child's shortcomings, treat things not people, pay attention to appropriate wording, save face for your child, and don't hurt your child's self-esteem.
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Sit down and communicate with the children calmly, listen to their ideas, and when Jian Zhenghe criticizes, the wording should be appropriate and wise, don't say things that hurt their self-esteem too much, and when the child is going to sleep, don't criticize to establish a very good image for yourself in front of the child.
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Parents should rationally analyze the consequences of this behavior for their children after they do something wrong and laugh at Liang Xian, try not to scold their children, and let them realize the seriousness of their behaviors, so that they can take the initiative to correct some wrong behaviors, and at the same time take the initiative to let them accept wrong punishments for some bad behaviors of children, and let them establish a sense of responsibility for bearing the scum.
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When parents criticize their children, they must pay attention to moderation, educate their children more, and educate their children what kind of things can be done and what kind of things can not be done, so that children can understand the truth of being a messy person.
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Yes, the right way is more acceptable to children, conducive to children's growth, and conducive to children's personality development.
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I did it right, when I treat my child when he makes mistakes, I will be very patient, guide the child in and circle, and pay great attention to maintaining the child's self-esteem when criticizing the child.
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I did it right because I was very nice to my child and respected his feelings.
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I did it right because I pay a lot of attention to my child's education and I also pay a lot of attention to my child's physical health.
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1.Avoid loud reprimands. Loud reprimand may make the child irritable, rebellious, rebellious, so we should try to whisper, low and powerful voice can make the child better accept.
2.When a child makes a mistake, try to be as calm as possible. Sometimes parents are too irritable, which is counterproductive.
Overly grumpy. It is also possible to say something very hurtful to the child. Therefore, we should communicate with him calmly and on an equal footing, so that he can better realize his mistakes.
3.When a child gets into trouble, let's not blame him. Sometimes children may lie and shirk some responsibilities because of their parents' blame, which may be more detrimental to children's growth, so we should let children think for themselves and reflect on their mistakes.
4.Put yourself in your shoes and let your child explain for themselves. See what he thinks.
First of all, you can't force the child to do anything, you have to follow his wishes, you can't force it, the child also has thoughts and ideas, if he says something to us, you can follow his ideas.
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