Make a joke, not too long, but a long joke

Once upon a time, when the moon was dark and the wind was high, I was walking alone in the dark neighborhood, and suddenly, a miserable scream came from the opposite building: "Ahhhhhh The second floor replied

Looks like I put it. "Ahh "Uh......"How would my child live if he learned to fart.

"Uh......No matter how bad it is, I can't jump from the second floor to the eighteenth floor. "Ahh "Three seconds later" - who farted" "I didn't do it this time" "Ah - my child learned to fart and you are dead."

Later, the second floor was taken away by the police, do you know why only the eighteenth floor replied, why he was not arrested? Because ——— his fart smoked everyone else to death!

Eggs go to the teahouse to drink tea, and when they drink, they become tea eggs.

One day, Liu Bei met Cao Cao, and the two exchanged for a while, and then went their separate ways. Cao Cao returned to the barracks and said to his subordinates: "I met Liu Bei today, I said that I have an army of 50,000, and he said that he has an army of 20,000; I said that our blood was thick, and he said that their blood was thin; I said that our army was at an advantage, and he said that his army was at a disadvantage.

Liu Bei returned to the barracks and also said to his subordinates: "I met Cao Cao today, he said he had five nostrils, and I said I had two nostrils; I said my nostrils were small, and he said his nostrils were big; I said my nostrils were down, and he said his nostrils were up. ”

Draw the knife to cut off the water and the water is more flowing, and people do not repair it.

A male deer, it walks and walks, and it goes faster and faster, and finally it becomes a highway (deer)!!

Once upon a time there was a man whom I hated to death, and then he died.

A fashionably dressed and fashionable girl on the bus, walked to the seat with light steps, wiped the seat with a tissue paper, and unexpectedly let out a fart when she sat down, and a buddy said in surprise: I! It's so clean, and it's blowing after wiping!!

I'm idle when I'm full of food and I'm okay to watch the ants go up the tree.

Why did Huo Qigang marry Guo Jingjing? Because Guo Jingjing will never ask him, me and your mother fell into the water at the same time, who do you save first...

Housekeeper"I am sorry, Mr. Warringley, but I must make it clear that I am at odds with your wife. "Mr. Warlingelli:

What's wrong? She's asking too much of you, isn't she? Housekeeper

Yes, sir. The mistress has forgotten that I may leave you at any moment, so she commands me as if I were you. ”

Son"Mom, what kind of person are angels?" "Mother:

The one who has wings and can fly in the sky is an angel? Son: "It's strange, yesterday Dad said to the maid Jenny

You are my angel. Mother: "I'm going to tell her to fly away today!"

Yellow fans: Why does your team close at 11 p.m. instead of 10:30? Silly Coach:

Because the dance hall in front of our team doesn't close until 10:30, of course I have to leave half an hour to walk for the players.

A player's family is happy to have a precious child, and the players go to church together to attend the child's baptism. Accidentally the child slipped from the mother's hand and was about to fall to the ground, when the goalkeeper suddenly pounced and caught it! The team members cheered and applauded.

The goalkeeper clapped his hands, smiled at them, and then kicked out with his usual feet.

Wife"That day, when the big black bear appeared, you left me and ran!" But you told me that you are not afraid of death! Husband: "Yes, that's what I said, but the bear isn't dead." "

5. To deal with a dashing person, you must be more chic than him; To deal with handsome people, you have to ......Disfigure him! Red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face, the truth thinks! 50 super funny screen names (plus funny comments).

Answer questions every day, no time is the best.

A daughter has been infertile for a long time, and her sister-in-law asked her; "You two don't? He replied, "No, no!" And asked, "No, no, why not?" And replied: "No, no, no, no ”。

There was a ghost who farted and died ......

A: My face is not oily.

B: I can't see clearly in the reflection.

There was a boy who cut off his head like a kite, and as he walked, he flew up.

The bald donkey dared to rob the teacher with the poor road.

Last night, I called my mother **** to connect, and I: "Mom." ”

My mother: "The ** you dialed is playing mahjong, please dial again later." ”

Me: ......

There was a person in front of the Nai He Bridge, Meng Po asked him to drink Meng Po soup, he didn't want to forget the past, so he poured the soup when Meng Po was not paying attention. After finishing, Meng Po asked him: "Have you drunk it?" and he said, "Drink it". Meng Po: Drink another bowl...

Said to the girl: I am Ho He, you are the noon.

I am the emperor, you are a good --- very strong.

The landlord went out to come back, met an acquaintance, and went back to buy something, back: poop rice and urinary soup.

You're a dog who can't spit ivory out of your mouth!

You spit one try!

Someone sleeps at night (purring), and the roommates are all fighting at night (landlord). Suddenly, his roommates heard him yelling in his dream: "From this, x=5" ......

A: I used to play chess with your dad a lot. Once, your father had only one elephant left, and I only had one taxi left.

So, I proposed to let the elephants and scholars cross the river, and your father agreed. Your father uses his image like me, and I will use your father as a soldier. Thy father hath used his image like me, and I have used thy father thy man my thy soldier.

Your father is like me, and I am your father. Your dad is like me, I'm your dad B: Get out!

Why didn't Cao Cao dare to take a plane (absolutely hilarious)!

It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan, and Cao Cao were on the same plane, and suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute.

Escape. Only then did it turn out that there were only three parachute bags left on board. Everyone was nervous for a while, and then Zhuge Liang shook his feathers.

Fan, cleared his throat and said: "In this way, the mountain people come up with a few questions, and those who can answer the first hail will parachute, and if they can't answer it, they have to do it themselves."

Jumped off. The others had no choice but to agree.

Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei: "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought about it simply, "One."

So I took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again: "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan: "One."

He also took an umbrella bag and went down. In the end, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao was stunned.

I was so stunned that I couldn't get up, so I had to jump off by myself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea and picked up a life, Cao Cao.

Self-rejoicing. The second time four people encountered an emergency on the plane, the four of them discussed, yes, it's still the old way. Zhuge Liang shook again.

He raised his feather fan and asked Liu Bei: "What was the battle in which King Wu of Zhou defeated King Zhou?" Liu Bei thought about it simply, "Muye."

The battle. Zhuge Liang nodded, so Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again: "That battle is dead."

How many people? Sun Quan thought for a while and said, "There are about thirty or forty thousand." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down.

Cao Cao couldn't help but snicker: "Zhuge Liang, Zhuge Liang, I have been through the past and the present, especially the military sail, this time you are planted."

Finish. I saw Zhuge Liang ask: "What are the names of the soldiers?" Cao Cao almost fainted when he heard this, so he had to jump down by himself, but he didn't expect to jump into the sea again and pick up a life, Cao Cao laughed secretly.

The third time the same four people took the plane, and the plane encountered an emergency again, Cao Cao thought about it, Zhuge Lao'er wanted to fix me again, do it.

I jumped down myself to avoid insults. So he jumped down, and in the high-speed descent in the air, he could only hear Zhuge Liang shouting to him above: "Meng De, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" ”