High scores kneel for R jokes, high scores for a joke

Legend has it that famous scientists often played hide and seek together, and when it was Einstein's turn to catch him, he found that everyone else was hidden, only Newton was still standing there, and he caught him last time and said, "Ha, I caught you!" But Newton said:

You didn't catch me! "Aren't you Newton? Albert Einstein said.

But Newton said, "I am Newton, yes, but I am standing on a square floor tile that is one square meter long and wide, and you didn't catch me, you caught Pascal!" Pascal was speechless!

p=n/s

Beggar's Branch2008-02-21 14:17A homeless man on the street of New York, holding a hat in each hand, waiting for alms.

A passer-by came up and threw a coin in a hat and asked, "What is the other hat for?"

The homeless man answered: Business has been sluggish recently, so I decided to open a branch.

The boss invited us to a restaurant to eat, and suddenly the big guy wanted to go to the toilet, and the boss said:"If you tell the person across the street that you're eating on the other side, it's free"

We're saving that 2 cents).After walking over, there was a slip of the tongue, and it was said:"We're here to eat. "

Speechless....

Po said to his girlfriend's father, "Your daughter belonged to you in the past, and now your daughter belongs to me".

Girlfriend's Dad: Dizzy.

Ah, I don't know.

1. During class, an old man was playing with his mobile phone, and unfortunately, he was found by the head teacher outside the window, and the head teacher didn't want to.

When a programmer went out in the morning, his wife told him, "When you come back today, remember to buy some oranges, and if you see a watermelon seller, buy one." When the programmer's husband came back, he was holding only an orange in his hand, and his wife asked him in surprise why he only bought an orange, and the programmer said:

Because I saw a watermelon seller. ”

The Beijing military airport has two maintenance workers who love to drink. One day, the two of them were addicted to alcohol while on the night shift, but they didn't bring alcohol with them, and there was no store nearby.

I've heard that jet fuel is the same as liquor, so let's drink some. One person suggested.

So, the two men took the fuel out of the jet fuel tank and got drunk.

The next day, one of them woke up to the astonishment of not having a headache or nausea, unlike his usual drinking. At this time, the **bell rang, and he picked it up**.

Feed! You're alright! It was another maintenance worker's voice.

It's okay, don't say it, jet fuel is really good, I don't have a headache and I don't feel nauseous. ”

Me too, but ......"But what? ”

Have you ever farted since you got up? ”

No. "Then be careful, I'm on Hainan Island now. ”

This is the funniest joke I've ever heard: One day Cao Cao and Liu Bei cooked wine and talked about heroes. Outside, there were dark clouds, lightning and thunder, wind and rain. The two drank a few glasses, and Liu Bei suddenly let out a fart, very embarrassed.

Liu Bei was embarrassed, only to hear Guan Yu behind him say calmly: "Don't be surprised, the fart comes from the feather (rain)!" ”

As soon as Guan Yu's voice fell, Zhao Yun on the side took a step forward and said, "Don't be surprised, farts come from the clouds!" ”

As soon as Zhao Yun finished speaking, Zhang Fei, who had a loud voice, then shouted: "The fart is flying!" ”

Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.

Cao Cao didn't laugh, he was deeply touched by this matter. After sending Liu Bei and the others away, Cao Cao said to his subordinates: "Liu Bei's subordinates, when they saw that the lord had a mistake, they all rushed to take responsibility and make up for their mistakes, which can really be described as loyal. If it's your turn, will it be possible? ”

Everyone was indignant and said in unison: "Prime Minister, isn't it just a, what's so difficult about this!" You'll see next time. ”

A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again, and during the banquet he wanted to fart to see how his subordinates reacted. After holding it for a long time, I finally held back a little fart. Everyone had been waiting for a long time, and when they heard the sound of "goo", the general Xu Chu was anxious, and hurriedly shouted first:

The fart was put by Chu (pig)! ”

Wang Lang followed closely and said: "The fart was put by Lang (wolf)!" ”

Gou An said: This is Gou (dog) fart.

Cai Mao said: This is a Mao (cat) fart.

Cao Cao's eyes widened when he heard this, and the others thought that Cao Cao thought he was slow, so they rushed to him.

Niu Jin said: "This is a golden fart!" ”

Xun Yu said: "This is Yu (jade) fart!" ”

Cao Hong said: "The fart is Hong (red)!" ”

Gao Ran said: "The fart is Lan (blue)!" ”

Jiang Gan said: "The fart is dry!" ”

Sima Shi said: "The fart is Shi (wet)!" ”

Xiahou Yuan said: "The fart is Yuan (round)!" ”

Cao Fang said: "The fart is square! ”

He is worthy of being my No. 1 military advisor. Cao Cao thought secretly. Let's hear what he has to say.

I only heard Guo Jia say: "This is Jia (fake) fart!" ”

Cao Zhen grabbed again: "This is a real fart!" ”

Guo Huai said: "This is Huai (bad) fart!" ”

Zhang He said: "The fart is (drinking)!" ”

Sima Yan said: "The fart is Yan (pharyngeal)!" ”

Xu Huang said: "The fart is dangling!" ”

Xiahou Dun said: "The fart is Dun (jumping)!" ”

Guo Tu said: "The fart is (spit out)!"

Xiahou Ba said: "The fart is out of the tyrant".

Xun You said: "The fart is from You! ”

Full pet said: "The fart is a pet (rush)!" ”

Jiang Ji said: "The fart is squeezed (squeezed)!" ”

Zhong Xuan said: "The fart is from the fart (shake)!" ”

Finally, Cao Cao couldn't hold back any longer, and said angrily: "Nonsense, farts are out." ”

Liu Bei and the others were already smiling.

If you laugh at this joke, you want to vote for me!!

Tour guide, I think I should have a sense of humor and give you a joke I don't know if it's funny:

Once upon a time there was a pig farmer who had a pig farm. One day, the first prosecutor came and asked him: What do you feed the pigs every day?

I've got a good meal for the pigs, KFC, hamburgers. "What, what is a pig, you give it such a good food, a fine of 10,000 yuan".On the third day, a third prosecutor came and asked him:

When I was a kid I went to school, I put "english".

Reads as "Interest should be paid."

of classmates became bank presidents;

Those who read it as "washed in the gutter" became a small vegetable seller;

Those who read it as "causal connection" became philosophers;

Those who read it as "hard change history" became politicians;

Those who read it as "England to the East" became overseas Chinese;

And I accidentally read it as "should be exhausted" and ended up working as a ......