Ask for a longer joke. As long as one is in quality, not quantity. Good ones are pluses

Once upon a time, there was a landlord with a fat brain and a round melon, except for a few hairs on the back of his neck, like a puffed pig's urine. He is most taboo to say "light", "bald", "bright" and related words. Whoever comes to him as a long-term worker must first promise him not to commit these taboos against him:

If I commit a taboo, I will have to deduct one year's wages; When you hear that someone is taboo, beat it to death, otherwise you will have to deduct the money of the long-term worker.

There was a long-term worker, who committed a taboo on the first day of work, and the landlord punished him for working for nothing for a year. The long-term worker had to agree.

One morning, the rooster crowed. The chicken's voice was a little hoarse, as if it was crying again: "A few roots."

The long worker heard the idea, rolled out of bed, and beat the rooster. The bald landlord woke up, ran out without caring about the shoes, and scolded the chief worker: "Bastard, you are crazy."

Changgong said confidently: "Master, didn't you say that if anyone scolds you, you will be beaten to death?" This rooster scolds the old man with only a few hairs!

The bald landlord was dumbfounded, so he had to stew the dead chicken.

Bald. Bald. Bald. Steam in the casserole rang against the lid. The long-term worker heard. Eat the stewed and cooked chicken.

Bastard, who told you to eat? ”

Changgong said: "Master, this plague chicken is still dead and still has a hard mouth, scolding the old man for being bald!" I don't eat its meat, I'm sorry for the master! The bald landlord is dumb and eats coptis, and he can't tell if he has bitterness.

Another day, the big yellow dog of the landlord's family bit a poor mother-in-law at the door: "Guangguangguang! "The chief worker saw it, and found that the dog's head was a stuffy stick.

The dog barked and ran, hitting the leashed scalper. "Hairless, hairless. The cow squeaked sullenly.

Changgong's heart moved, and he rushed over with an arrow to give the cow a beating, and the cow pulled off the nose rope and ran away.

The bald landlord was mad, jumped up and scolded the long worker: "Bastard, quickly bring the cow back to me, otherwise I want your life!" ”

Changgong spread his hands and said, "Didn't you say that anyone who violates your taboo will be beaten to death?" This dog scolds you for being 'bare and light', and this cow with a thousand knives scolds you for being 'hairless and hairless'. My lungs are blowing, I'm going to beat them to death! ”

The bald landlord glared at Changgong viciously and roared, "You get out of here."

Changgong said with a smile: "I have committed the master's taboo, and I have to work for the master for a year, and it has only been a few days!" ”

Get out of here, get out! The bald landlord shouted.

Teacher: Honestly, do you smoke?

Boy A: Don't suck.

Teacher: Don't suck? Well, eat the root fries.

Naturally, Boy A reached out with two fingers and took ......Teacher: Don't suck? Ask your parents to come and ......

Scenario 2 Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy B: Don't suck.

Teacher: Don't suck? Well, eat the root fries.

B Hearing A's situation, he carefully took the fries with the palm of his hand.

Teacher: Don't you dip some ketchup?

b I accidentally dipped too much, so I immediately flicked the ...... with my fingersTeacher: You are very skilled at flicking cigarette ash. Ask your parents to come and ......

Scene 3] Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy C: Don't suck.

Teacher: Don't suck, okay, eat a piece of fries.

c Because of the previous two examples, I ate the fries with a sweat very carefully.

Teacher: Why don't you bring roots back to your classmates?

c After receiving the fries, clip them on your ear ......

Teacher: Don't suck? Ask your parents to come and ......

Scenario 4] Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy D: Don't suck.

Teacher: Very good, let's eat a piece of fries.

d Finished his fries in horror.

Teacher: Why don't you bring roots back to your classmates?

d Carefully placed the fries in his jacket pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The principal is here!

d Hurriedly took the fries out of his pocket and threw them on the ground, stomping on the ...... with his feetTeacher: Don't suck? Ask your parents to come and ......

Scenario 5] Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy E: Don't suck, Teacher: Good, let's eat a piece of fries.

E had just taken the fries, and the teacher said, "Don't you invite me to eat them?"

e hurriedly passed the fries with both hands, then pulled out the lighter ......

Teacher: Don't suck? Ask your parents to come and ......

Scenario 6] Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy f: Don't suck.

Teacher: Very good, let's eat a piece of fries.

f Eat it in horror.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The principal is here!

f His palms were sweaty, but he still bowed his head calmly and said, "Hello Headmaster!"

Teacher: The principal will smell the taste in your mouth.

f Pull out the fries: No, it's still here, the fire hasn't been lit yet, ...... fire[Scene 7].

Teacher: Do you smoke or not?

Boy G: Promise God, absolutely not suck.

Teacher: Really don't suck? Okay, let's have a root fries.

g It is very natural to take the fries and eat them clean.

Teacher: What a good boy, what brand of fries do you usually like?

g ( get carried away) : Greater China ......

Scenario 8] Teacher: Let's eat a piece of fries.

Boy N: Thanks, no.

A woman asks for marriage, and the conditions for making friends are two-point 1Be handsome 2There should be a car computer to help her search for the results of chess This woman, dissatisfied with the search results, entered 1

To have a beautiful house 2I want a lot of money, and the computer will help her search the results again Bank This woman is still not disappointed, and continues to enter the condition 1 to be cool 2 to have a sense of security The result of the search is Ultraman This woman is still not disappointed, and continues to enter condition 1Be handsome 2

To have a car 3To have a beautiful house 4To have a lot of money 5 to be cool 6 to have a sense of security The computer to help her search again Ultraman plays chess in the bank.

A timid, nervous witness is being questioned by a lawyer.

The lawyer snapped and asked, "Have you ever been married?" ”

Yes, I got married once. The witness's voice was small and trembling.

So who are you married to? ”

A woman. ”

The lawyer was a little angry, "Nonsense, of course you're married to a woman." Have you ever heard of anyone who would marry a man? ”

The witness trembled and said, "I heard that my sister was married to a man. ”

1. When I was in the fourth grade of primary school, my classmates saved change and donated money to the disaster area.

Once the teacher asked us how much we had saved in class. Xiao Ming said; I saved five dollars. Xiaoliang said: I saved ten yuan.

Finally I said, "I'm still ninety-nine to one hundred!"

2. Student: "Who is happier, a rich man with a million-dollar fortune or a poor man with seven children?" ”

Teacher: "Poor man with seven children. ”

Student: "Why?" ”

3. Xiao Ming said to the teacher while crying: "I hate school, but I still want to stay in school until I am sixteen years old." ”

4. The teacher assigns homework and gives the following words: "number, live, red, hand, report".

A doctor's child wrote on his homework: "**, hospitalization, red envelope, surgery, reimbursement."

Xiang Piaopiao kills more than 700 million people a year, and the corpses can circle the earth twice.

Don't hang yourself from a tree, try it on all the surrounding trees several times.

The husband and wife quarreled, the wife was a shrew, and she scolded a lot of dirty words, and the husband was a professor and couldn't scold, but he couldn't bear it, so he shouted: "Same as above, same as above"!

One day, as I walked, I smiled. [Cold? 】

Last night I was excited, eating Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, I shouted: I want to eat wine and drink meat! [Khan.

Working in a supermarket, after the customer bought something, he said to the customer with a smile: Thank you, I wish you a happy shopping! Several times someone turned their heads sharply:

What? You give me a piece?! [Uh.]

One day I was going to be late for work, and I changed my clothes in the taxi at the same time as I took a taxi (that is, I took off my coat, and the inside was my work clothes), and I don't know what the driver's uncle was ...... mood. It's very powerful

, hehe, this is my own trouble, it's the recent New Year, let everyone laugh Happy Spring Festival!

There was a man who lived in the North Pole, and he felt very cold, so he invented the air conditioner and chilled himself to death. (Is it cold?).

There was a man who lived in the rainforest, and he felt very hot, so he invented heating and heated himself to death. (Is it cold?).

My buddy said he was ugly and borrowed 20,000 yuan from me to go to South Korea for plastic surgery. After a year, I went to his house to pay back the money, but he moved away, and the new owner of Qi Nai said: "I don't know if he has gone **."

I had no choice but to call the police, but the police said, "Can you tell him what he looks like?" I said

He has had plastic surgery and only remembers his name. The policeman said, "There are many people with the same name and surname, how can you find them?"

Finally found buddy with the help of the police. My buddy asked me, "Do you know me?"

I honestly said Gao Nianchun: "I don't recognize it." And the buddy said:

Does your money recognize me? Tell me to pay back the money of a high-ranking stranger, is it what I owe you in my previous life? I said angrily

I did evil and helped a guy who turned his face and didn't admit his debts. ”