My dad has a psychological problem, do my parents have a psychological problem?

My dad is also such a person, he is an ordinary worker, he feels that he is looked down upon all his life, but he is also machismo, to quote his words is "Lao Tzu is the first in the world", it may be excessive arrogance caused by excessive inferiority. Usually I don't like anyone, I always say that I don't bother to associate with these people, so that I don't even have a friend, and I am not allowed to socialize with others, probably because I am afraid that I will "grow my wings hard" early. I was angry at work, and when I came back, I was angry with my family, which was purely a rat resisting robbery.

You're not bad, I grew up beating and scolding. My parents divorced when I was four years old, I had a stepmother at the age of five, and a younger brother at the age of nine, basically I belonged to a superfluous family in this family, so I never spoke at home, I am very glad that although I grew up in an abnormal family, but I am psychologically healthy (except that I am not interested in marriage), I was successfully admitted to university, and I usually work and study to supplement my living expenses, so that I don't have to reach out for money to see his face. Now that I have a job, I can finally leave this so-called home, so I can go back and give them some money during the Chinese New Year, which can be regarded as paying back their child support.

If there is anything you can help, you can help, after all, the grace of birth and nurturing is not something that can be paid off with money, as for filial piety or something, let his son do it, anyway, that's why he gave birth to a younger brother in the first place.

So just a month to bravely persevere, but I have persevered for more than ten years.

You can take her to a psychiatrist, and I think every father has a stage where people go through this.

Take your dad to the psychiatrist.

When parents say this, I think it just shows that they have serious psychological problems. Because when they say this, they mean:

1. They either identify with their parents, or they need to admit that their parents have brought us a lot of harm, perhaps directly identifying with their parents (then they need to continue to ignore and hurt their children), it is easier to feel their own trauma and self-reflection;

2. Children's ability to resist pressure is precisely the love and support of their parents, I believe that if you look closely, you will find that behind your parents' "so-called strong", there should be many problems, but they do not allow their problems to exist in a "fragile" way, but show them as other problems.

Indeed, the psychological problems of Chinese parents manifest themselves as other symptoms.

1. Physical symptoms: neurasthenia, insomnia, vertigo, headache, heart disease without physical lesions, gastrointestinal diseases, and even some asymptomatic repeated physical ......

If you know doctors in neurology, ** department, and gastroenterology department, many diseases that cannot be detected or cannot be detected will be recommended by the doctor to go to the psychiatric department to see, and when the patient has taken anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drugs, their physical symptoms will be alleviated.

2. Alcohol dependence, drug dependence, gambling, asking God, etc.

There are a large number of alcoholics and drug dependents in China, which are due to mental or psychological problems, because alcohol and certain drugs can bring about a drug-like feeling of pleasure and relieve insomnia.

There are also many people with bipolar disorder or personality disorder, which manifests as gambling.

In addition, the phenomenon of heavy pesticide consumption in rural China is also related to emotional problems.

3. Personality problems: borderline personality and narcissistic personality

The mother of the borderline personality + the father of the narcissistic personality is a common combination in many families in China in the past. Many of the injuries suffered by children are hidden under the label of "Chinese parents" (which everyone does), and it is impossible to describe them, and the general manifestations are: the mother is moody and often unable to distinguish between right and wrong; Some are logical and chaotic, or life is very disorderly; Some of them are verbally violent to their children, ignoring their children's needs and unable to understand their children's feelings.

Fathers are very narcissistic and will lash out when narcissistic frustration (e.g., challenged). Parents emphasize the value and hard work of their parents while ignoring their children's feelings and sense of achievement.

In the face of such a father, what the family can do is to try to tell him the real feelings and needs of your heart at that moment, but not to make any judgment on his words and deeds, only to express your true feelings and needs at that moment, so that he can realize the harm caused by his words and actions to the people around him.

First of all, please keep your distance from your father, and don't get along with the attitude of expecting a reply, but just give calmly. Too close can make you more susceptible to injury. Focus more on your own affairs, do your own thing, and slowly discover your common interests (for example, if your father likes to drink, accompany him for two drinks), so that it is easier for both of you to treat each other in a relaxed and appreciative attitude, rather than a negative attitude of finding problems.

Thirdly, you can help your father find some hobbies or help him make some friends, which can relieve the problems in his heart. Anger is more than the problems that accumulate together are not solved, and they can only express their difficulties to the people closest to them, but the way is that they are unable to control their emotions and cannot express themselves effectively, which eventually adds new problems. So emotions are piled up in the accumulation of problems.

If your father solves the problem in his heart, he will return to peace with you. To solve the problem, you may not need to start with the problem itself, but find a hobby that allows him to relax, and slowly adjust himself until the problem is solved.

The truth is that a person who always communicates with those around him in a super-rational manner in a relationship has a hard time actively self-reflecting, and he never thinks that there is anything wrong with his words and actions, and they never express their true feelings in their hearts. In fact, they are adopting this extremely rational posture to avoid and suppress the true, fragile emotional feelings in their hearts, which is not a manifestation of their inner strength enough, but rather a manifestation of their self-esteem, and they are unable to accept their inner true and not good enough selves.

What family members can do in the face of super-rational people in the family is to try to be honest with themselves and honestly express their true feelings and needs in their hearts. Because the family is a system, changes in the way other people in the family speak and behave will lead and imply that he may also change, what do you say?

It may be that your father's career has not been particularly smooth in recent years, or that he has encountered some troubles about Peng Huiming, and then he may be in menopause.

It's not a psychological problem, it may be because life is stressful, so I vent my inner depression in this way.

Not necessarily, it is very likely that your dad has been under too much pressure in recent years, and you can find an opportunity to communicate with your dad.

Listening to it, Dad's behavior has brought you a lot of anxiety, and it is also accompanied by some feelings of shame and grievance.

From Dad's point of view, it may be that Mom's remarriage has given him some emotional frustration. The appearance of the new aunt is undoubtedly an opportunity for Dad to compensate for himself, that is, to prove his emotional accomplishment by chasing the new aunt, and to imagine that he can prove himself and heal his previous emotional damage through success. When the new relationship is blocked, Dad is a self-righteous character, and the greater the sacrifice, the more he feels that he can't stop, and he can't accept the fact that his feelings are frustrated again when so many people know, so he has been in a state of stalemate.

Try to keep Dad busy with other things that interest him, let him slowly find a sense of accomplishment in other things, and try to divert his attention. usually treats his aunt's matter coldly, that is, he doesn't mention it, so that he slowly feels that the shame of this matter is not so strong, and slowly lets go. If possible, it is also a good choice to live outside the local area.

Of course, the best way is to seek help from a counselor, but as far as your statement is concerned, it should not be easy for Dad Bi Xiaodad to be a proud and defensive person.

From your point of view, you feel that when you encounter such a family situation, you have endured a lot of unnecessary gossip and pressure, and there must be a lot of grievances and shame feelings, and I hope that you can detect your emotions in time, find someone to relieve them in time, don't blindly endure and suppress, and look for a place where you can relax.

If possible, it is best to take the elderly to the hospital for a physical examination to rule out physiological problems, such as hyperthyroidism and the like.

1. I wonder if there is a difference in gender between the people who tend to anger your father?

I ask this because you mentioned the strength of your grandmother, and the father is the youngest son, and you mentioned one of his words, "Do you want to fight against me?" "Maybe there is always a strong person (probably mostly a woman) in his feeling who wants to criticize him and think he is bad, and your father wants to prove himself, and it is not excluded that there is some pampering.

From this point of view, when he is provoked, try to ask him who he first remembered to be angry about. Or maybe he's faced someone who has had this kind of anger, and the key is to let him feel it himself. You mentioned that he has a little emotional part, that being good at reasoning may be a kind of defense, and that the defense is what can be seen as the trigger for this defense to appear, what the situation is, what does he feel when he is silent, the key is that he can feel it himself.

2. If you don't work for more than ten years, how do you balance your family's income and expenditure?

Assuming that the family is a dynamic balance, and the marriage has not dissolved for more than ten years (I assume) and life can still go on, there must be some factor that maintains the material and psychological balance that your father can not work. Have there been any changes in family relationships before and after work, and how is this balance maintained when there is work? You can try to find out, in the same way that you mentioned fleeting positive energy, then this, under what conditions did your father do it?

Try to find this resource to guide.

3. The serious cleanliness habit you mentioned.

What was your father's so-called "cleanliness" afraid of? My current train of thought is:

1 Think the other way around, but not directly question him. For example, if you love the cleanliness of the shed excessively, you may also be interested in unclean things. Excessive feeling of hostility from the outside world, perhaps the need for this relationship, something is better than nothing, loneliness.

2 The appearance of the head of the family should be like this, refer to grandma.

If you have the chance, you can try to ask him, "I don't think people from the outside world are so hostile to you, how do you feel when you hear me say that?" Then accompany him to feel the causes and consequences of the feelings. Same as above, I still expect him to think and feel for himself.

The most important thing is to go to the hospital for a physical examination first, if it is difficult to adjust on your own, then the hospital psychology department should be able to try, good luck.

1. It was very good to be able to ensure good health in that era, who would pay attention to whether you had psychological problems? Moreover, psychological problems are often not easy to detect unless they are particularly severe. It is not like a physical problem that can be seen by the naked eye or an instrument, as long as it has no appearance, or the person himself does not admit it, it will not cause people to notice it at all.

2. We only see that he has been beaten and scolded, but we do not see that in addition to beating and scolding education, he may have received education in other ways (such as mild and encouraging) from the upbringing members. For example, the care from grandparents and grandmothers, such as the influence and support from the external environment.

1. The problems faced by the two generations are different. My father's generation was full of energy and enthusiasm for work, everything was politically in charge, with work as the core, and spiritual wealth made psychological problems much less. The modern society is centered on economic construction, everyone is eight immortals across the sea, each showing their own magical powers to pursue their own career success, the market competition is very fierce, the survival of the fittest is extremely cruel, the individual in it is physically and mentally exhausted, and psychological problems are inevitably frequent.

From this point of view, modern people do have more psychological problems.

Child, you are the baby of your parents, and your state directly affects the hearts of your parents, so how to make yourself strong, I give the following suggestions:

1. Start from loving yourself, love yourself is to love your parents, try not to brush ** play with your mobile phone, you must have a favorite sport, love starts with each other, you can go for a walk with your parents, play chess, swim, you think there are better sports suitable for you, but pay attention to the body, pay attention to safety.

2. The kitchen is a place where parents often cook, do we help with more housework at the appropriate time, such as helping to wash dishes and vegetables, maybe you can't cook, it's okay, we can learn, because you can cook, and it is our responsibility to take care of the family.

3. You should be confident in yourself, believe that you will be a great child, life can not be smooth sailing, you can know the difficulties of your parents, which means that you are a sensible child, we need to communicate with your parents more, communication is a good way to output. I used to have friends like you. His parents accompanied him out of the most difficult time, his life has become more and more courageous, admitted to a good university, a few years later, I am especially grateful to my parents at that time, you will definitely be able to come out, come on!