After marriage, I found that my values are different, but I have children, how can I do less harm to

Many people feel that divorce will definitely have an impact on their children, and in the eyes of others, a single-parent family will become inferior and introverted. Therefore, many great parents will choose to maintain that broken marriage in order to let their children grow up healthily.

Actually, today's children are very smart. Parents can see whether they love each other or not, and when they look at the parents on TV who often go out with their children and take photos to commemorate their memorials, they will wonder: Why do my parents keep arguing?

Why wouldn't they want to every time I want them to take me to play? Why does mom always look angry when she talks to dad?

In fact, after the divorce of parents with different values, as long as the children are carefully taught, the children can understand the parents' practices. Before they have a concept about divorce, as long as you input the right ideas for him, the child will not become self-defeating and depressed, let alone ......There are not many single-parent families nowadays.

As a parent, the first thing to bear the brunt of is to establish correct values, not to think that divorce is a shameful thing, it is just to get rid of the shackles of unhappiness and pursue happiness. There is no shame in divorce, and don't suspect that the child can't understand you, if you are really divorced, you should first tell the child honestly, he may be sad, he may not adapt, and even cry, but ......As a parent, you should reason with him when he can't understand it: it's not that his parents don't want him, they just want to live separately.

Don't wait for outsiders to tell him that his parents are divorced, gossip is always scary. Those who think about feudalism will always feel that divorce is such an incredible thing, and even inexplicably give birth to a trace of sympathy, so that children can slowly feel the pity of others and their own pity. At that time, it was really a hurt!

When you find that your values are different after marriage, even if you have children, you must be responsible for yourself and each other, then I think the best thing to do is that you should end this mutually torturous marriage between you.

Now is a new era, marriage should not be a necessity in our lives, it can only be said that if we have marriage in our lives, then our life will become more interesting.

But the basis for this is that you share the same beliefs about values. If there are many differences between you in your daily life, and your values for many things are also different, then end this marriage as soon as possible. It doesn't matter if you have children or not, I feel that it is when you are reluctant to continue your marriage that it is the greatest harm to the children.

Because children are learning no matter what kind of things they do when they are young, a good education about emotions is also very important for children. It's like I have a classmate who doesn't have any expectations for his future marriage. Because in his eyes, marriage is the kind of constant quarrels, without any feelings.

So when he was in high school, he kept falling in love, but there wasn't any love that lasted a long time or anything, in fact, it was all because of the influence of his parents on his children.

Parents are the best teachers for their children, and it is very correct to say that when you are a parent, you should not only give your children a good education, but more importantly, let your children experience the warmth of the family. This kind of warmth does not mean that you buy something for your child or that you say how much you love your child, these are really unimportant.

He has a particularly pessimistic attitude towards love and marriage, and in his heart there is no love in the world that is truly existent. He thinks that all marriages are like those of his parents, and there is nothing else but quarrels. This is the failure of the family's education, which is why the child has such a pessimistic view of marriage.

In fact, his parents are also well-intentioned, hoping that the child can live in a complete family to grow up, such a starting point is really good, and they are all love for the child.

But it is this kind of love that causes this child to stop believing in marriage and believing in love in the future. So, I believe that whether you are still husband and wife or not, since the child is your common child, as long as you both love her as before. Don't go ahead and continue this unhappy marriage for the sake of your children.

After marriage, I found out that the values are different, and if I have children, I will consider many consequences if I get divorced, and now I can only offer the following advice:

Clause. First, for the sake of the child, the two of them have more run-in. To put it bluntly, values are ideological things, and after living together for a long time, people's values will slowly change, which is why old husbands and wives who have lived together for a long time will have husband and wife.

Therefore, for the sake of the child, try to run in as much as possible, there will inevitably be some differences in the run-in process, at this time, whether it is a man or a woman, you have to consider each other more, this time is not to quarrel if you don't agree, a quarrel is to say that the values are different, quarreling will only increase the rift between the two people, so the run-in is actually mutual understanding and mutual tolerance, so that slowly the two people have a tacit understanding, and the values will slowly become consistent.

Clause. Second, if you feel that two people are really not suitable for being together, then divorce as soon as possible. The reason why it is early is because the child is still young at this time, and the impact on the child is relatively small, the child follows the capable and responsible party to raise, and the other party has the right to visit and has the obligation to raise the child, and even if it is not in the same family, if the other party visits the child, the two parties should not quarrel when they meet, because this will leave a crack in the child's psychology and hurt his young heart.

Many times, we say that the child is the crystallization of the love of the husband and wife, but also the run-in agent of the relationship between the husband and wife, it can be said that it is for the children, but also for the husband and wife to communicate and exchange more, try to reach an agreement, since they can come together, there must be a certain emotional foundation, when there are different opinions, it is not to think of his (her) disadvantages, but to think of his (her) good, so as to go long-term.

Two people with different values will indeed have a lot of problems in their lives, because they have different logics, different thinking, and different understandings, so it is difficult to integrate together.

Once the two have children, there will be more contradictions, because they are both parents of children, who do you say can not care about children? Who doesn't pay attention to their children's growth and education? So I will do my best to use what I know to my children.

Different values, so it also leads to different ways of education, if you want to avoid harm to children, you can't often quarrel because of different values. In fact, parents have their own different ways of education, which can be communicated, and as long as there is no friction, it will not have much impact on the child.

The most painful thing for children is that parents have conflicts, especially when there is a dispute in front of the child, the damage to the child may be a lifetime.

A warm, laughing family, the children educated are also positive, optimistic, and sunny, and the children who are always noisy and noisy family education are easy to go to extremes, and they are pessimistic about many things, and even fear of falling in love and getting married.

Children are indeed very innocent, when they meet responsible parents and parents who know how to educate, then the children are lucky, and Ke You's children often can't escape the clutches of the original family to bring them pain, which can't be erased no matter what.

In short, it is very good that you have this awareness, and some parents are completely unaware of the impact of the family environment on their children, so congratulations, I believe that your children will grow up healthily in the future.

In fact, we adults can sacrifice a lot for our children, whether it is our own health or career, then I believe that your children are in the process of growing up. The two of you will definitely give up some of your selfish ideas for the sake of the healthy growth of the child, so there is definitely no need for the two of you to fight for the sake of the child.

Since everything can be sacrificed, why can't some of the contradictions caused by different values be tacitly resolved? No couple has exactly the same values, things are man-made, as long as they are willing to put their children first, the contradiction will naturally run in.

If we parents find that we have different values when we live together, the only way to reduce the harm to our children is to compromise ourselves.

I was unmarried and had children, because I was very young at the time, I felt that I had met the right person, so I didn't think about anything and got together, I felt very happy to fall in love together, and I felt that this life would be like this until I was old, but it turned out that I was wrong, after living together, I found that there were many places, I would quarrel because of disagreement, sometimes I was particularly disgusted, especially disgusted with talking to each other, and over time I became very cold, and when I got home, I played with my mobile phone, There is no common topic to talk about, after a long time, the relationship between the feelings is weakened, and there is no longer the enthusiasm at the beginning, but for the sake of my own children, I still have to live together reluctantly, because I don't want my child to go to school in the future after others will point to his back and say that he has no father or that he has no mother.

This path was originally my own choice, I don't want to affect my child's future because of my own problems and other people's problems, I can't bear to make a big plan, since I made a decision, choose to continue to live with the other party, what I can do is only, continue to maintain this family, give the child a happy future, the happiest thing for the child is that the parents are together every day are very happy, if you want to say, if you say how to reduce the damage to the child, it is better to say that it does not cause harm to the child, and the mother is just, For the sake of the child, I can only grieve myself. Children are the most beautiful angels that God has given us, and we have different values, so we have to create the same values so that we have a common topic so that children are not harmed.

Nowadays, this society is more complicated, and electronic products are more popular, and the development of network technology also allows today's children to understand a lot at a very young age. Today's children are "well-informed", but we also need to avoid being influenced by some bad values in our lives.

First of all, try to avoid children looking at some electronic products.

I think the first thing we need to do is to avoid our children's exposure to electronic devices, even though children nowadays are always playing with their mobile phones. But I think it can be avoided or avoided, it is not uncommon for children to be affected by the values that occur because of electronic products such as mobile phones, some children watch live broadcasts and brush gifts and spend all their parents' hard-earned money, and some children play games to recharge money, and tens of thousands of dollars have disappeared when their parents find out.

Second, try to avoid associating with people with incorrect values.

When children choose friends, parents must check their children, we have all heard such a saying: close to Zhu is red, close to ink is black. If a child becomes friends with some children with incorrect values, it will affect their own children.

Therefore, we should also give correct guidance to our children in choosing friends.

Again, parents should set an example to give their children a mirror.

We all say that parents are a mirror of their children, so if you want your children's values to be correct, parents must set an example. We must teach our children to be an honest and responsible person, and at the same time, we must also tell our children that their future is in their own hands, and only by working hard to create the future, we will see a better self, and we will have a brilliant future.

As parents, what we are most afraid of is that our children's values will change, which will lead to changes in the children's life path in the future. Therefore, in the process of children's growth, we as parents must pay attention to all aspects of children's growth, so that children have correct values and ensure that children do not take detours.

Enroll in more interest classes and train your children to read more.

First and foremost: Pay attention to the tone of speech and your own quality with your child.

It is forbidden to play mobile phones: contact **The operator turns off the mobile phone card network and can only play**. Turn off the Internet access of the mobile phone, set the wireless router to control the mobile phone, and only parents can turn it on for a limited time.

At night, the child should make it clear to him when he plays with his mobile phone, which is not good for his health, bad for his eyes, etc. First of all, parents don't play.

1. Reason with your child and explain clearly the reason for not looking at the phone.

2. As a parent, you must have good self-control, and ask your children not to look at their mobile phones when they look at their mobile phones, so that children will always love to play with mobile phones.

3. Parents should do: (1) Do not play with mobile phones in front of their children and do not look at mobile phones. (2) While the child is doing homework, the parents accompany the parents to read or read books or do household chores by themselves.

4. Parents should pay attention to the tone of their children's speech.

5. Tell stories to children or talk about related people and things in your spare time.

6. A good family environment is an important factor affecting children's abilities in all aspects.

7. After accompanying the homework, train the child to draw, play the guitar, play the piano, practice, brush writing, small production, small puzzles, put building blocks, fold paper, etc., which can be used to stand and play with the mobile phone.

8. The result is that children don't like to play with mobile phones very much.

9. If the child can't change, it is the family environment that is the majority. It means that parents' actions, words and deeds play a decisive role.

10. The child is addicted to playing, and the solution: set the shutdown time of electronic products, set the password of electronic products, set the face recognition of parents, etc.

11. To provide children's self-control, parents should first control themselves and create a good family environment.

12. Other small factors: All games are required to have the parent's face recognition function on the login interface before they can be played. It means that when parents allow their children to play, parents can scan their avatars to play.

13. Uninstall all game-related software, gossip news software, etc.

After 2-4 years, when you get used to being sensible, you rarely play with mobile phones and computers.