The mother pointed out the father s problem, and the father always said that it was to find fault, w

This is also the case with my parents, every time my mom kindly gave my dad advice, my dad would say that she was too careless and couldn't listen to anything. We all say that women will go through menopause when they reach their forties and fifties, but in fact, in my opinion, men are the same.

Everyone will encounter different bottlenecks at different times, take the parents' generation as an example, they were full of enthusiasm for both career and love when they were young, and they were not afraid of difficulties to catch up. Before the age of 35, my father worked overtime until two or three o'clock at night every day in order to break into his career, and he could still get up and work energetically at six o'clock the next day. At that time, she never quarreled with my mother, and my father let her do whatever my mother said.

But now, my dad is in his forties, and because he has achieved a little success in his career, he often goes out to drink with fox friends and dogs, and only comes home when he gets drunk. My mom said he told my mom to leave it alone.

Actually, I quite understand my dad, but it doesn't mean that I approve of his behavior. When people reach middle age, they begin to yearn for freedom and a relaxed life. Maybe I was too tired when I was young, and now I start to hate this kind of life without day and night from the bottom of my heart, and the momentum for my career has been exhausted.

When he begins to want to enjoy life, there is someone around him who has been controlling him and restraining him, of course, he will have bad emotions and even vent it. In addition, if he has a small success in his career, he will think that his life experience is rich enough, that his ideas are correct, and he does not need others to guide him, so just like the father of this questioner, he can't listen to other people's opinions at all, but says that he is finding fault.

Then the first thing we need to do as children is to understand our parents, and then we can communicate effectively. In fact, each of us has a common shortcoming, that is, we will inadvertently hurt the people closest to us, especially relatives and partners. When you have bad feelings, it is easiest to vent them to your loved ones, but should your loved ones bear this?

Of course not. I think you can find the right time to have a face-to-face conversation with your father and ask him if he has a lot of unspeakable suffering, and I believe there must be. At this time, you have to tell him that you have grown up and can at least rely on him mentally.

I think your father will be very moved after listening to it, and then you take the opportunity to tell him, mother is also very difficult, we are a family, she asked us questions out of kindness, we should understand her, listen to her patiently, and give her enough warmth. Love needs two people to run it together, while a family needs three people to run it together.

In my own experience, such situations are real in real life from time to time, and at this time, as a bystander, it should play a mediating role.

Since similar situations often occur at home, I think the reasons for this are as follows.

1. The tone of the party pointing out the problem is too arrogant, which makes people feel disgusted when they hear it.

Second, two people often quarrel every day, and they are unwilling to listen to each other.

I have some of my own thoughts on these two points, and for the first time, when one party points out a problem, you can make them use a less arrogant tone. In this way, the other party does not perceive a provocative remark. At the same time, at this time, as a child, you can follow the point of view of the other party who pointed out the problem and ask the other party to correct the problem in the form of suggestions.

At this time, the mediation role of the intermediary can play a great role, parents do not want to be an unreasonable person in the eyes of their children, through the perspective of children, they can be more aware of their own shortcomings and then change.

And for two people often quarrel this point, or rely on the child to mediate, in my family is like this, parents in front of me generally do not quarrel, I go upstairs may they start to quarrel, this time must be downstairs to prevent their conflict from further escalation, I think it is normal to occasionally mix two sentences, but too often will definitely have some impact on the relationship, easy to cause one party to speak and the other party does not want to listen to the result.

In order to prevent this from happening, children should stop their parents' quarrels even if they stop them, so that they have something to say.

Actually, my mom and dad are like that, but I think it's very normal for them to have this kind of situation between them.

First of all, my parents have been living together for so many years, and the process from falling in love to getting married is the same, first sweet and happy, then contradictions appear, and then slowly run in.

In fact, it's not just my dad who is critical of my mom and thinks that my mom always loves to find fault for him, so my mom also thinks the same way. In the past, my sister and I thought that they were torturing each other, and instead of having a small quarrel in two days and a big quarrel in three days, it was better to break up in two and each other.

But things are not as simple as we think, in fact, after so many years, they have changed from husband and wife to relatives, and love has become family affection, which is no longer inappropriate and can be measured.

The two seem to be having a hard time, but if they are really separated, I believe that neither of them can do without the other. I think the cruel quarrel sounds like a quarrel that treats the other party as an enemy, but it is normal for parents, after all, young people nowadays break up if they don't agree, and divorce if they don't agree.

But the people who came from my parents' time were different from us, they knew how to live better, instead of putting the attitude of our young people towards marriage on them, if this was the case, then they would have been separated from each other a hundred times and ninety-nine times.

So my suggestion is to let the parents solve it themselves, in fact, the past is over, and everyone will not take it to heart, then only when they quarrel more intensely, as children stand up and persuade them, that is also our duty.

But we can't help but make decisions for our parents, who used to pick on each other, and I thought that for them, the worst enemies in the world were each other, but the truth was that they were pretending, and there was nothing at all.

I even hope that our generation can learn like our parents, don't quarrel because of trivial things, and don't lose confidence in marriage because the other party says something that hurts you.

Even if you are not satisfied with the other person, I believe that if you change to someone who is better than our current lover, there will definitely be new problems.

Maybe there will be a process! You can only do your best to maneuver with your parents, for life this is all a trifle, just a chore! You've got to deal with it! Adapt to your needs and try to satisfy both parties!

Parents must love us, so their starting point is to be good for us, but every parent is a parent for the first time before becoming a parent, so it is inevitable that there will be some improper education, such as some parents will beat their children, and some parents think that blindly hitting their children can make their children better, etc.

In fact, my parents' temper is not very good, especially my mother has hit me since I was a child, almost never affirmed my behavior, I think it is acceptable, but I will also consider self-regulation and analysis, as a minor, I firmly believe that I can't judge whether what my parents say is right or wrong, but I am very objective, at that time the best relationship with me was my cousin, he is an adult, I will often ask my parents and me about some things, tell my cousin as it is, Because I was honest since I was a child and never lied, what I told my cousin was not added to the vinegar. Every time my cousin can give me a correct one, and slowly I will find that in fact, sometimes my parents' behavior criticizes me, but sometimes it is unreasonable to criticize me, and I will distinguish between listening to what I should listen to, and not listening to what I shouldn't.

Later, when I became an adult, everyone had their own lives, and my cousin also got married, and I didn't always ask my cousin, and when I had these troubles, I couldn't decide, I would ask my best friend, and slowly I also had my own judgment.

Having said that, what I just want to say about teaching you this method is that the authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear, and you can't blindly think that your parents are looking for your own faults, maybe you have a problem somewhere, so when the town is confused, we need a bright light in the dark night to illuminate the way forward for us, I wish you a happy family, come on! Chi Zheng.

You must not do it, it is his fault now, and if you beat him, you will also be at fault in the future if you go through the legal process, which is very bad for you.

Don't think about ending up together, it's not the best outcome for your mother, because you and she stayed, and if something happens to you, it's not a relief for her at all.

Since he is divorced, your father has no right to take your mother's money, and if he is violent, the law will definitely be able to judge it.

As for property, your situation is complicated, and it is really impossible to have a right to property. I think you should definitely find a reliable law firm and consult carefully. Organize your situation before you go, if you go first, you may be unorganized or miss details.

Then sort out the questions you want to ask, how to sue your father, whether it is better to break away from the relationship or not to break away from the relationship (not out of the relationship, maybe his property still has your share).

During this period, he still started or abused, and resolutely hit 110 without hesitation! Look at how the police deal with it, even if there is no result, you can scare and scare him!

I am not a professional lawyer and have no legal knowledge, but we must have a sense of law, and we must not let people bully and do stupid things! Your mother is left with you, be a man, hold on!

Smoke him, tell your mom to divorce him, sue for divorce, divide the property in half - your dad is simply not human.

I felt like I had to call the police. If you want to protect yourself, you must protect your mother.

Yes, it's better to find a lawyer to consult.