What questions should I not ask on the way home from kindergarten?

For Chinese parents, the vast majority of parents will still worry about whether their children eat well, whether they have been criticized by other children, whether they have been blamed by teachers, whether they have bumped into them, etc.

After many parents pick up their children from kindergarten, they always like to ask on the way home, "Have you been bullied by other children today?" Or "Is the teacher treating you well today?" is actually the last kind of question that parents should ask.

For the child, he may have fallen when he ran with other children in the kindergarten today, but he immediately got up, because the parents were not around, and they forgot to cry when they were busy playing, the child happily went to the kindergarten for a day and waited for the parents to pick up, but on the way you asked the child "Did you fall in the kindergarten today", so he remembered that he fell and cried, and you were angry that the kindergarten was not well taken care of, but you see, this is a trivial matter for the child, But you zoomed in. <>

As a parent, you have to correctly guide the child's emotions, those negative problems will only remind the child of his unhappiness in the kindergarten, maybe for him, he has forgotten, but your problem makes him think again and more sad, he may also hate the kindergarten place more, he may slowly subconsciously form the kindergarten children will bully him, the teacher is very fierce this view.

On the way home to pick up the child, don't ask those negative energy questions, if the child really has any special circumstances at school, I believe the kindergarten teacher will definitely tell you. For parents, what you want to pass on to your children is a kind of positive energy, and you should actively guide your children to think about what games they played with other children in the kindergarten today, and what delicious snacks they ate, so that the children can remember the happy times in the kindergarten and fall in love with the kindergarten.

When children are young in kindergarten, parents are always worried that their children will not be able to adapt to school life, that they will not be able to take care of themselves in life, that they will be bullied, and that they will not get along well with their classmates. So, as soon as the child was followed, he couldn't wait to ask this and that.

In fact, children don't feel anything, but sometimes because of their parents' inappropriate questions, they are afraid or disgusted with going to school. <>

Generally speaking, these are the following questions that are best not asked on the way out of school:

1.Is someone bullying you at school today?

Originally, the child didn't feel that someone was bullying him, but when asked by the parents, he may think: the school is not safe, and other children may bully me.

If parents are really not at ease, they can ask: Did you have fun with your children today?

2.How did your teachers treat you?

In the past few years, there have been incidents of child abuse by kindergarten teachers. Parents who put their children in school will worry that the teachers will treat their children badly.

This question is a bit of a question about the teacher's work attitude and work ethic. We can ask something like this: What game did you play with the teacher today? <>

3.Did you do well today?

None of the children are willing to say that they are not doing well, they actually approve of themselves, but adults do not approve of them. Usually when we ask our children this question, they will say yes. Therefore, it makes little sense to ask this question.

In kindergarten, it would be nice if the child could integrate into the group life and be interested in various activities, and there was no need to ask about performance.

4.What did you learn in kindergarten today?

Children's learning in kindergarten is activity-based. We ask our child what he has learned, and he may not be able to answer. And for kindergarten children, there is no concept of learning.

Parents changed to ask: What games did you play at school today? Maybe the child can give us a good answer. <>

In short, we try to ask positive, positive questions to guide children to love kindergarten life. Ask concrete, not abstract questions and learn about your child's kindergarten life.

I'm Orange Xiaohui, and we grow together on the road of parenting.

I often hear that many parents at the kindergarten gate are anxious to ask all kinds of questions as soon as they receive their children, and the children are at a loss and don't know which one, so what questions don't ask? In fact, it doesn't matter what questions are asked, what matters is what kind of interaction parents have when they ask questions. If you can avoid the following two interaction misunderstandings, then asking any question can achieve the role of communication link with your child:

1. Avoid the "chicken and duck talking" style.

Xiao Ming came out of kindergarten and happily said to his mother: "Dongdong gave me a beautiful toy today, you see" Mom glanced casually and said: "Did you eat well today, did your classmates bully you, did you have ...... praised by the teacher."This typical chicken-duck dialogue style, parents have no interest in the child's topic at all, and only keep asking questions about what they want to know, which will make the child feel that the parent is not interesting and does not care about his thoughts at all.

2. Avoid "preaching" style.

Some parents are very fond of seizing all information and opportunities to preach to their children and talk about the great principles of life, which will also make the children particularly disgusted, and in the end the topic will not continue.

Once, I saw a child say to his mother, "Mom, I'm not happy today because I was criticized by the teacher, I just accidentally broke the cup, and I didn't mean to." "Mom immediately educates as soon as she hears it:

Look at you, every time you ask you to be careful with the cup, but every time you don't listen to it, look at it and break it again, no wonder the teacher wants to criticize you".

This situation is not uncommon, parents do not care about their children's emotional state at all, and only care about finding opportunities to educate their children.

ActuallyThe time on the way from school is short, and if we can maintain the following attitude during this time, it will be very useful to get a lot of information from the interaction:

1. Talk about the topics that the child is interested in, and follow the child's train of thought, at this time the child can often keep talking.

2. Adults should listen first, put the heart of preaching first, and care more about the reasons behind the child's emotions.

3. Talk about some happy and relaxing topics, such as: "Is there anything happy happening today that you can share with your mother" and so on, which is more able to talk to your child.

Parents can give it a try.

The child is in kindergarten, but the parents are worried again. Every day after school, I will go to the kindergarten door early to wait for the children, and when the children come out, they will start to look up and down, ask this and that, and I am afraid that the children will be wronged.

What are some questions that should not be asked to children?

1. Are you well-behaved in kindergarten today?

Children are relatively young, and they may not have accurate judgments about their own performance, and usually they will say "good" without knowing how. It's the same answer as you think, so it's the same whether you ask or not.

2. Are there any children bullying you?

When a child has just entered kindergarten, parents are always worried about whether their child has been bullied in kindergarten, and can't help but ask, "Are there any children bullying you?" "The child may have had an unpleasant situation today because of a competition with a child for a toy, and this matter has passed, but when you say this to the child, the child remembers the unpleasant thing again, and feels wronged.

In fact, parents can ask their children "How many good friends have you made today", which will make children think of happy things.

3. Is the kindergarten meal delicious? Have you eaten enough?

When a child has just entered kindergarten, parents are always worried that their child will not be able to adapt to the kindergarten and will not eat well. Originally, the child was very happy to eat with the help of teachers and children, but after you mentioned it, the child felt that the kindergarten meal was not delicious at all, so he was disgusted with going to kindergarten.

In fact, these parents' usual questions sometimes really affect their children, and we can listen to their children's voices more on the way back, instead of us asking more.

Education is an art. Seemingly casual daily communication has a subtle impact on children. Therefore, as a parent, when communicating with children, we should consciously educate and guide children positively and positively, and cultivate children's self-confidence, optimism, sunshine and upward good character.

An important time to educate a child is to pick up your child from kindergarten on the way home. When a child spends most of the day or a whole day in kindergarten, parents must have many questions to ask, and children must have many new experiences to tell parents. So, how should you communicate with your child as a parent?

How do you do it?

1. Don't ask your child if he's eating well.

In the case of full daycare, the child should eat lunch at school. So, parents should not ask their children what they eat for lunch, whether it is good or not. If the child takes the initiative to mention it, it is necessary to educate the child not to be picky eaters, not to have leftovers, and to wash and clean up the dishes and chopsticks.

So as to guide children to develop good eating habits. Otherwise, the child will pay too much attention to the problem of eating and will develop picky eating behavior.

2. Don't ask your child if he's being bullied.

The kindergarten has a teacher to manage the class, and if there is a conflict between the children, the teacher will deal with it in time. If you observe that there is nothing unusual about your child's emotions, don't always ask questions about whether your child is being bullied. Avoid reinforcing unpleasant experiences in your child's mind.

If you find that your child is abnormal, you should encourage your child to behave positively and let him reflect on his mistakes on the premise of asking the ins and outs.

3. Don't ask if the teacher is good to you.

Except for individual teachers, teachers treat every child equally, with the same care and love. However, the child's focus is different, and there may be teachers who don't like their feelings. Parents should not ask questions such as whether the teacher is good or not, but should educate their children to take the initiative to get close to the teacher and have a more outstanding performance in all aspects, which will naturally get the attention of the teacher and other children.

In short, the basic principle is to strengthen the positive experience, guide the negative experience, and let the child grow up healthy and happy.

When a child first enters kindergarten, as a parent, you will definitely worry about whether your child will adapt to the kindergarten environment in kindergarten, and at the same time, you will also worry about whether your child will be bullied in kindergarten. Now every child is the heart of the family, and parents will worry that he will not be well fed and clothed, especially after going to kindergarten, parents will be even more uneasy.

Therefore, when many parents pick up their children from kindergarten in the afternoon, they will ask their children at the first time, have they been bullied in kindergarten? Did anyone hit you? I am afraid that my child will suffer a loss in kindergarten.

I think this is a big taboo, it's best not to ask like this, because if parents ask their children like this every day, children will feel that they are not here to learn or play in kindergarten, but will be bullied by children.

In this way, he will pay attention every day to see if he has been bullied, whether he has been beaten by others, and he doesn't even want to go to kindergarten. On the contrary, he will forget all the fun of being in kindergarten, and for him, kindergarten is a place where he can be bullied.

Parents should talk to their children while walking and chatting with them when they are out of school, and talk about some interesting things that happen in the kindergarten, such as talking to the children, whether they have met new children in the kindergarten today, and whether they have built blocks with the children? Do you play games with children, do you tell stories to teachers and children?

My child comes back from kindergarten every day, and he will chat with me on the road, saying which new friend he knows today, which child is wearing particularly beautiful clothes today, and there are cute little monkeys on it.

Parents should talk to their children about the fun of kindergarten, and don't let children feel that kindergarten is a flood of beasts.

Many parents do not realize that their words and deeds will have a great impact on their children, usually do not pay much attention to their words, and often ask children in kindergarten some inappropriate questions, resulting in children anxiety or school boredom, not in love with kindergarten. Not only do parents not know that they are doing wrong, but they criticize their own children for not being as good as other people's children.

So what kind of questions should we avoid? <>

There are three categories that should not be asked the least:

1. Did the teacher criticize you today?

It is normal for a teacher to criticize a child, and many times the teacher is just correcting the child's bad behavior. Children may not realize that the teacher is criticizing, but when parents ask like this, let the child feel that it is not normal for the teacher to criticize him, on the one hand, he will become very fragile and can't stand the slightest criticism, on the other hand, he will be very concerned about the teacher's attitude, sometimes the teacher may just be reminding, and the child will mistakenly think that he is criticizing. When deliberately"Seeking", you can always feel a lot"Criticism", which can make the child become negative and reluctant to go to kindergarten.

2. Why didn't you get a little safflower (or other rewards) today, is it a bad performance? Did the teacher praise you today?

This kind of problem is easy for children to pay attention to the so-called in the eyes of teachers and adults during kindergarten"Good performance"It is difficult to concentrate on enjoying the fun of playing, which is not conducive to the cultivation of concentration. There are even children who will distort their nature to conform to the teacher's standards in order to receive praise or rewards such as little red flowers, and over time form a pleasing personality. When the desire to get attention and praise from teachers is often not satisfied, they fall in love with kindergarten.

3. Are there any children bullying you?

Children have poor self-control ability, and bumps and bumps between children are inevitable. However, if parents often ask this question, the child will regard the unintentional collision between children as bullying, and the more he cares about this problem, the more he feels that he has been subjected"Bullying"The more, in the long run, it is easy for children to have a victim mentality, which is not conducive to their physical and mental development, and they will also show that they do not like to go to kindergarten. <>

The words and deeds of parents have an unimaginable influence on their children, so they should pay more attention to them.

Parenting is a technical job, and you need to keep learning.

I am a candy mother, share children's education and mother's self-growth experience, welcome to pay attention and communicate together.