What are the funny jokes that make you stupid?

The black whirlwind Li Kui came to Song Jiang's office and saw that Song Jiang was drinking, Li Kui took it and drank it, and Song Jiang did not stop him. After a while, Song Jiang had a toxic attack and asked Li Kui in surprise: Brother, you drank more than me, why are you okay?

Li Kui: When I met Gongsun Sheng last year, he said that you were bribed by the imperial court and that you were a spy who infiltrated the interior of Liangshan, I didn't believe it at first, but I began to suspect that you were sent to death one by one after you led your brothers to the imperial court. Today I just want to make it clear, and sure enough, what Gongsun Sheng said is true, even me and you are harmed, who else can't be harmed?

Song Jiang: Now that I am a dying person, I won't hide it from you, Zhao Kuangyin promised to give me the name of loyalty and righteousness, so that my Song family will have a hereditary official position and be glorious and rich, and I will be tempted. The wine you just drank was poisonous, and it's too late to know about it.

Li Kui: Phew, do you think I'm still the same Li Kui who is loyal to you? I drank the antidote, and I have recorded your words, so as not to Wu.

Today, there is a sixty or seventy-year-old aunt in our car, because the first row of iron guardrails, according to the regulations do not allow the elderly and children to sit in the first row, I arranged for her the second row by the window, she does not follow, I have to sit in my co-pilot guide chair, I told her well, said that the tour guide chair is too close to the bus workbench, in case there is any emergency on the road, I can't afford to pay this responsibility, the driver can't afford to pay, she has been there to say"Today's young people don't know how to respect the old and love the young, and they really have no quality. "I felt uncomfortable listening to it, so I replied"My parents taught me to respect the old and love the young since I was a child, but when I entered the society, I also learned a saying that is to rely on the old and sell the old. I don't think my quality is low, I did what I had to do, and I said what I had to say.

If you think that I really don't respect the old and love the young enough, and I don't have the quality, then you just sit on the next class. "Squirt casually, I won't hide.

A deeply hidden star joker: Meng Hetang tells cold jokes, and the classic ending is too funny.

The mother asked the son to go to sleep with the grandfather, and the son said, "I don't, I want to sleep with you" The mother said: "Obedient, the grandfather will tell you a story" The son said

I won't, I'm going to sleep with you" The mother threatened her son and said: "If you don't want to sleep with grandpa, I'll go and sleep with grandpa" Grandpa heard it and said: "Educate children to talk and talk, you can't lie to the children and the elderly, you should do it to him".

The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" ", Uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can you leave a pair of pants for your aunt?" "

A woman couldn't get married because of her small breasts, and one day she went on a blind date and said to a man: "I have small breasts, do you dislike it?" The man said

Is it big with steamed buns? The woman said there was !!On the night of the cave room, the man rushed out of the cave room, knelt down and looked up to the sky and shouted

Oh my God, Wangzi little steamed buns! ”

A village held a meeting to discuss the reform of funerals and burials to save land resources, and the villagers expressed their opinions. A said, "I suggest it!"

There is no need for coffins, saving money and land. B said, "I think burying it vertically can save more space."

C knocked on the cigarette gun and said slowly: I see, only half of it is buried vertically, and even the tombstone is saved, and you can know who is dead at a glance! ¬

When a few men met, they didn't shake hands or salute, didn't greet each other, didn't smoke cigarettes, but just patted each other's big bellies and asked, "How many months?" When is the due date? ”

Dear uncles, aunts, and members and comrades: Today, I use a bag of cigarettes to talk to you about "how to do a good job in the village network". Everyone also knows that I am a big old man, I have just finished beating the grain, and the mud on my hands has not been washed off, and if you want me to talk, I am really afraid of playing the piano to the cow!

However, since I am here, I will briefly talk about it, and if you want to hear it, you will put down your work, and if you don't want to listen, you will do your own work without delay. But I promise it will never be like the footwraps of the lazy women of the past – long and smelly. Well, I'd like to start by talking about my knowledge of the Internet.

The Internet is a new thing, for example, it is like farming, planting melons and getting melons, planting beans and getting beans, it is impossible to lose sesame seeds, you will bring back a big watermelon. For example, if you let the ox plough the field, you have to teach it first, speaking of this ox ploughing the field, my family has a big water bowl, strong strength, and eats a lot, and my two dogs have to cut several loads every day.

On the sixteenth day of the first lunar month, a southbound train was crowded and overcrowded, and the corridors of the carriages were crowded with people. Especially the two ends of the carriage were even more unimaginably crowded, and a male passenger who spoke northern dialect simply squeezed into the toilet and didn't come out to write a letter. At this time, a young woman wanted to go to the toilet, and she finally squeezed through the middle of the carriage to the door of the toilet, but after shouting for a long time, the passengers in the toilet did not come out on the grounds that they could not squeeze out.

The young woman was helpless, so she returned to her seat and told her husband about it. When her husband heard this, he came to the toilet very angrily and said to the male passenger in the toilet: "Are you too much?"

If people want to relieve you, you won't come out, and you will wait for (death) in the toilet? Please come out at once, or I won't be using the word 'please.'" The male passenger in the toilet saw that it was a big young man with a strong body, and knew that the person who came was not good, and if he didn't come out, it would definitely not end well, so he promised to come out immediately...

Philosopher: Claimed to be a genius, a teacher of mankind. A lifetime of obsessing over who am I?

Where am I going? What is the meaning of life? ......The philosopher is dead, and his desk is filled with his beautiful handwriting—I'll go explore the way first, and you take your time......Writer and Poet:

He likes to give himself a lot of names, characters, and numbers, and claims to have extraordinary insight and can see through the souls of others. They shed the lives of others on the pen and are atypical voyeurs and expositors. When you are proud, you exalt your life; When frustrated, it's more akin to a philosopher:

Is life a fog? Life is a bunch of gibberish? ......The writer poet wrote when he was dying:

I heard the death knell ring......Industrialist: What do you say? Why live?

What is the meaning of life? ......I'm sorry, we have something to do now, you first discuss filial piety, pay for mine, no one can rob me. The industrialist is busy and fulfilling, he rarely thinks about why he lives, but he often has gold.

Yang Min talked about a boyfriend named Li Gang. On Sunday morning, Yang Min's best friend Song Hua came to the house to play with the scum, and it happened that Li Gang was also there. Li Gang seemed to be very active, and as soon as Song Hua sat down, he handed over his business card.

Songhua took a look at it, and wrote the words "China Green Beam Funny Environmental Protection Resource Recycling Rent Stupid Limited Company - Li Gang, General Manager". Song Hua was listening to "Mr. Li" talking about his "Resource Recycling Sutra", when suddenly Yang Min's mother shouted: "Girl, you find a waste collector and dispose of our old TV."

As soon as the words fell, Li Gang hurriedly stood up: "Sensei has found someone else, just leave it to me to deal with!" I was secretly praising Li Gang for his good eyes and diligence, but I didn't expect him to blush and sneer

I'm sorry, but that's my old job! ”

A: How was the exam? B:

Hey, don't mention it, in a word: "fame and fortune". A:

Uh, that's good. Listen to it, let me share it as well. A:

I did a mess of almost all the questions, and I had no choice but to write a limerick poem on the test paper: "Get a 'zero' duck egg, and take the best relatives to eat!" The teacher 'rewarded' me and showed it to my father.

Later, the teacher selected my "masterpiece" and posted it on the school blackboard, and everyone came to watch it, and the whole school spread it in and out of the class, inside and outside the grade. In the end, my father found out, and I got a valuable "prize": I was taken off my whole body clothes, and I used small bamboo branches to 'loosen the skin' 48 times, and the skin and flesh bloomed, and the 'red flowers and tombs' were in a row, what a beautiful scenery!

My grandmother was heartbroken for me and secretly bought a baked cake to comfort me. You see, isn't this "fame and fortune"? B:

Ho, it's worth it! As a buddy, me.