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If parents only have conflicts because of things in life, as children, you may wish to intervene to promote the further development of things and make things develop in a good direction.
If the parents believe that it would be better for both parties to separate because they have had a serious breakdown, the children can let the parents resolve the matter and show understanding of the parents' decision.
Parents at home rarely quarrel, and when I was a child, I occasionally saw my parents arguing, and the two of them ignored each other, and then the sisters would create opportunities for them to communicate with each other and promote the further development of the matter. Sometimes when the mother is sulking, he will secretly ask his younger brother to coax his mother, the younger brother was relatively young at the time, and the adults will try not to show negative emotions in front of the child, so the child's intervention in the parents' emotional problems will also have a good effect on the parents' emotional repair.
If the relationship between the parents has broken down and cannot be repaired. As a child, you may wish to express your understanding and let the parents figure it out themselves. lest the parents have the idea of "continuing to maintain the marriage for the sake of the child", and the two barely live together.
There was such a plot in the TV series "Family with Children", the parents quarreled, and the three sisters worked together to reconcile their parents, and at that time I felt that the child was really a very beautiful existence in the parents and in a family. It is a restrainer of family tragedy, a lubricant of a family, and a messenger of happiness sent by God.
The feelings of parents are an integral part of a family, and it is definitely wrong for children to meddle in their parents' feelings as a member of the family. If the party involves the happiness of both parents, it is better to let go and let the parents solve it on their own.
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A sense of boundaries can also be used in parental relationships.
A sense of boundaries is a good thing, and it needs to be something that everyone needs to have.
If the relationship between your parents is not very good, as a child, you can also use a sense of boundaries to deal with this relationship at this time.
Marriage is like drinking water, knowing its own warmth and coldness.
As parents who have been married for many years, they are both adults, and they have been together for many years, and they have their own way of getting along.
Some parents talk like "quarreling", in the eyes of outsiders, watching two people talk and roar, and the tone is particularly rushing, we feel that they are quarreling, and they look like they are about to fight.
However, if you look closely, you will find that after a while, the two of them are fine again.
For parents who have a bad relationship, as children, we should not feel that they are unhappy together, and the main reason why we do not divorce is because of our children.
I don't think we, as children, need to be responsible for our parents' marriages and relationships.
You just have to focus on how you have a relationship with your father, how you have a relationship with your mother. There is no need to be enthusiastic about participating in what mediation gods.
With a strong sense of boundaries, you should realize that the relationship between you and your parents is your business, and the relationship between your parents is your business.
What you have to do well is to pay attention to and handle your own internal affairs, and do not participate in and deal with your own extraneous affairs.
2.Did your parents' bad relationship affect you?
Are your parents at odds with each other in front of you? Or do you be asked to take sides and judge?
If they don't argue in front of you, and they don't ask you to take sides and judge, you should assume that you don't know, because their discord doesn't affect you.
If they argue in front of you and ask you to take sides and judge, you have to tell them that adults are going to take matters into their own hands.
They are all your own parents, and they are all the ones who gave birth to you, and no one will offend or flatter you.
However, you have to make it clear that as a child, you will do your best to be filial to everyone. If any of your parents have something to do, or if they are sick, you have to take care of it to the end.
Do not persuade peace or dissuade from it. Recognize who is responsible for the marriage. Don't cross the line, let alone think that you can be a clean official in "it's hard to break family affairs".
Our parents are not from the same era as us, and there are values and generation gaps. Several people in a family, especially parents and children, do not need to share the same values to get along.
What is most needed for this is an understanding of long live, a firm sense of demarcation.
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Bystanders know that parents often see their children the most clearly, and I personally think that they should not interfere. The children are adults, and they have the ability to judge right and wrong, and they must also have the courage to take responsibility. No matter how parents meddle in their feelings, whether they don't like it or accept it, it means that parents have a outline of what kind of life their children will live in the future, and they will subconsciously intervene in their children's feelings according to the outline they imagine!
They don't know if it's right or wrong, they just think it's good for their children! But in fact, only he knows what the child likes, and it is useless for the parents to intervene, it will only stiffen the parent-child relationship. Should parents interfere in their children's emotional problems Should parents interfere in their children's feelingsParents should interfere in their children's feelingsParents should not interfere too much in their children's relationships, otherwise it will be counterproductive.
It is often said that love is a matter of two people, marriage is a matter of two families, if a pair of lovers do not get the blessing of their parents when they enter the palace of marriage, their marriage is difficult to achieve happiness. Indeed, in the traditional concept of our country, marriage is a lifelong event, and the "parents' life" is also a very important decision for a couple to enter into marriage. Sometimes parents interfere too much in their children's relationships, which can make their children more rebellious, which can be counterproductive.
Should parents meddle in their children's emotional problems Should parents intervene in their children's feelings? This is also the reason why it is difficult for both parties who have a good impression of each other when they go on a blind date to have an ending in the end, because parents intervene too much.
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Summary. Generally speaking, children should not meddle in the conflict between their parents! Some comforting work can be done.
Conflicts between parents are generally their business, mine let them solve their own affairs, they are all adults, they have the ability to take responsibility for their actions! Children have children's affairs, and doing their own things well is the greatest help to them! Of course, if the children are adults, they can also do some reconciliation work!
Children should not meddle in parental conflicts.
Generally speaking, children should not meddle in the conflict between their parents! Some comforting work can be done. Conflicts between parents are generally their business, mine let them solve their own affairs, they are all adults, they have the ability to take responsibility for their actions!
Children have children's affairs, and doing their own things well is the greatest help to them! Of course, if the children are adults, they can also do some reconciliation work!
When the time comes, the children will interfere in the contradictions of their parents, which will make the contradictions more complicated and even more intensified!
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The reason why parents interfere in their children's marriages is that they feel that the two people do not match, and the parents do not agree with the feelings, but in fact, I personally suggest that there is no need to continue, because they will not be blessed.
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First of all, emotionally, they still hope that their children will still be closest to them when they become adults, but on the one hand, they know that their children will basically fall in love and get married when they grow up, and the idea of not letting their children get married can be had, but they can't do this kind of thing, not to mention that they will be criticized.
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The reason parents interfere in their children's marriages is that they want to make life better for both of them. Let them lighten the load. Feelings of disapproval from parents should not continue.
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The reason for interfering in the marriage of their children is that they feel that they have experienced feelings that their parents do not approve of, and they can continue if they want, but they must live well and both parties must be trustworthy.
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Love, marriage, and family are eternal topics in life, and whether you enter or not, you will face problems in this regard. Unconsciously, we are about to face such a warm and severe test when we enter middle age.
My friend's daughter had a boyfriend a few years ago, and she was introduced to her. The boy serves as the school's ** teacher, is good at saxophone, often has the opportunity to go out to perform, and has good conditions in all aspects. My friend's daughter became a substitute teacher after graduation, and the chance of becoming a regular teacher is slim, but she is tall, sweet, and her family conditions are acceptable.
Boys are five or six years older than girls. After the two made an appointment, lightning flashed and thundered, sparks shot out, and they met each other. But the boy's mother was a very picky person.
The boy's previous girlfriends were picked on by his mother for various reasons, and finally broke up.
When I learned that the girl had a chance to become a substitute teacher, (the girl is the kind of person who is not very self-motivated, and wants to open her own small shop, but also leisurely and happy.) But the boy's mother didn't give up, and began to pick her nose and eyes, and she was very critical of the girl. Like Mother's Day gifts or something.
The girl's mother instinctively cared for her daughter, but she was also-for-tat and unrelenting. After all, they are all only children, and they are treasures in the palm of their mothers' hands. In view of the fact that the boy treats the girl well and does not approve of his mother's attitude, the girl's mother, out of love for her daughter and respect for the girl's own feelings, strongly urges the boy to give the girl a clear answer to move out and not live with her mother.
And began to buy a house for the girl. That's the way it is, or an uncertain ending. If the boy's mother didn't care about the girl's work, it would be a congratulatory ending.
In this state, both mothers are relatively strong, both meddle in their children's love marriages, and both want to take the initiative. In fact, they earn control of their children, and they consider it from their own perspective, without respecting their children's feelings. Love marriage, suitable or not, there is no winning or losing, there is no right or wrong, and there is your own positioning in life.
If you want to be good-looking, beautiful, talented, and do a good job, but also want to be gentle and virtuous and be able to run a house, go out of the hall and enter the kitchen, then your own son will also have to be 100% decathlon.
Love, marriage and family, in the end, is the life of the parties, as long as the children's three views are correct, there is no deviation from the general principles, parents or do not blindly care, pick bones in eggs, the most beautiful is sincere and rational advice and blessings. After all, their lives have just begun, everything is possible, and the future is very promising. The good wishes and strong support of both parents are the best help for the children who are about to fall in love and enter marriage.
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