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It is understandable that your mother's values are different from yours, because after all, your mother's living environment and education are very different, in fact, your mother should have a generation gap with you, your mother doesn't understand you, and you don't understand her thoughts either.
So some things are not about who is right and who is wrong, you and your mom are lacking in communication.
You can find an opportunity to have a good talk with your mom, talk about your thoughts, and listen to her advice. Good communication can solve many things.
I often have your situation, sometimes I get angry because of different opinions, but then I find that after my calm mother says it, my mother will also support my approach.
So as long as you talk to your mother patiently, your mother will support her child unconditionally, whether your mother understands your values or not, but her starting point is for your own good, afraid that you will suffer.
Talk to your mom a lot, it's fine, don't get angry with your parents, don't quarrel with your parents, understanding is mutual, you want your mom to understand you, and your mom wants you to understand her.
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You must not quarrel with your mother, you must sit down with your mother calmly and have a good talk, express the views of both parties, and then find the differences, so that your mother can understand herself and her mother.
Today's young people, or our ideas and values, are very different from the older generation, so sometimes we may be different from the elders. In the ** some things, there will be different points of view, resulting in quarrels, this is inevitable, after all, the society we are experiencing now, or some things that are changing are different from them, they may also use the values of their generation at that time, or some ideas and concepts to talk to our chatters to express their views. Therefore, it is normal to have contradictions, but when there are contradictions, we must talk calmly and express each other's opinions is the most important thing.
First, if there is a conflict, for example, when you encounter something different in values, you must not quarrel, if you have already quarreled, stop discussing the matter first, and then express your views to each other when both people have calmed down, and then exchange opinions, and ask which one is more correct, or more in line with what you said.
Because when you are arguing, you may not allow yourself to calm down and think about things, so only by calming down can you think about things properly. Again, we must first understand what the mother's values are. And express your own point of view, let your mother know that she is a person with ideas, and there is nothing wrong with your own opinion, just different from his, and then you can conduct a deep ** on this issue, in**, you can add a sentence I understand your thoughts, but please also understand my thoughts, this sentence is a plus in the process of the two of you.
I believe that as long as you talk to your mother calmly, your mother will understand you, and she can understand that you are a person with ideas, so she will communicate with you calmly.
It's normal to have different ideas or different opinions, and arguing won't solve the problem. Therefore, good negotiation is the most correct way, mutual understanding and mutual tolerance are the king.
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The difference in your outlook on life may be more due to the disharmony in your relationship and the difference in the circumstances of your life, as well as a major factor of your age, from which you should make a comprehensive consideration and start from these points to find a solution to the problem.
First of all, you have to have a good communication with your mother, you must correct your attitude, so that your mother can also get his own full understanding of this issue with you, so that his mother understands that his child has grown up and is no longer the weak child before, and he has enough judgment ability to allow himself and his mother to have an equal communication.
Secondly, if you want your mother to close the value of your life, you need to achieve mutual understanding between yourself, do not seek the same, but maintain a large degree of sameness in the same direction, such a recognition of the same process, it must be enough, not too much, after all, you are you, your mother is another independent individual, and these values can not be completely the same.
Then, you have to understand that the gap between your mother and you, the gap between your mother and you, is not only caused by values, but also due to the difference in the social age you grew up in, as well as the gap between your ages, the embodiment of such a gap is the impact on your values, has an indelible impact, so you must really face such factors, you can't force it, you need to talk reasonably, and seek common ground while reserving differences to treat the values between you.
Communication is still a major topic, and you need to maintain full support for the communication between you in order to help you communicate your values.
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To put it simply, you need to communicate with your mom more.
There is a difference of dozens of years between children and their parents, and it is normal for there to be a generation gap between the times, as long as you are willing to communicate with her patiently and communicate, you will achieve results. The life values of their parents were influenced by their time, had the imprint of their time, and were their own characteristics, and because they did not know how to keep pace with the times and follow the trend, they were submerged in the trend of history. We live in a multi-cultural world, the culture we are exposed to through the Internet is even more complex, we can quickly accept and understand, but our parents can't, they are old, their minds have been solidified, it is difficult to accept new things, in order to let parents understand our values and worldview, we can do the following:
With more patience, our world is to explore a new thing for them, they must have a fear of it, what we need to do is to guide them carefully and patiently, to contact and understand us.
Teach parents to use the Internet, as a new era, we can all get a lot of knowledge from the Internet, so if we teach parents how to use the computer, then they will definitely be able to get the knowledge that keeps pace with the times from the Internet, if their parents are illiterate, then we can teach them to listen to songs, watch movies, **** and so on.
Find a time to travel with your parents, reading thousands of books is better than traveling thousands of miles, travel can increase their knowledge faster, let them get in touch with the beautiful side of this society, which can not only express our filial piety to our parents, but also increase our chat topics with our parents, so that we and our parents are no longer an embarrassing scene when they meet.
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Hoping that others will help you establish correct values shows that you already think that your values are wrong.
I believe that there is no absolute right or wrong in the so-called values, and people are not saints.
People are thinking animals, congenital factors and living environment, life experience will affect a person's understanding of the world, so as to form different personalities, and also have different values and outlook on life, people are different. There is a good saying, do not do to others what you do not want to do to yourself, and do not do to others what you want.
I think that as long as it meets your own requirements, does not affect the normal life of others, and does not endanger society, it is not wrong.
If you can't even afford to make a living, but you still have to spend lavishly, it's definitely not right.
But if you're already financially "free", why bother?
Your parents have a lot more experience than you, and to a certain extent, their ideas are relatively correct, at least they won't point you in the wrong way. It's normal for you to think this way when you're young and vigorous.
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I think your parents are right. After all, they have much more life experience than us, they know better the preciousness of every penny, saving money is not the same as worshipping money, after all, the desire is not greater than the pressure of life, there is always too much to want, but there is always very little to get, this is life.
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To achieve desire = ability and new ideas in the new era, we must keep pace with the times and analyze specific problems. A good environment establishes good values.
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Maybe the parents' concept has not kept up with the development of the society, so we should communicate with them more. If there is no chance, create an opportunity to go on. Can't complain.
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Think more about others, think less about yourself, be selfless, and treat yourself as grass.
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If you are independent and financially independent, of course you can do whatever you want, but now you are not independent, you must know that your parents' money is not easy to come by, and you must know that they have tried their best to make you eat well.
What is a human being is a higher animal, because human beings have a strong ability of self-control, if you can't even control the comparison with others, how can you be a human being?
People don't live for comparison, people have to see farther days before I know if you envy others when you look at other people's subjects, whether you work hard to study and get a good score! Think for yourself.
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In fact, often at this time, when their mother's values are different from their own, it is indeed difficult for two people to communicate. And I think my mother and I have different values, so it's more difficult for both of us to talk together, because I seem to feel like I'm playing the piano to the cow, and he doesn't understand what I mean at all.
So every time I was communicating with my mother, I would take a few deep breaths in my heart。Because almost every time I communicated with him before, the two of us would quarrel, and I would argue with him. So when I want to have a good communication with him, I often calm down my inner mood first, and then talk to him well.
After all, the two of us have different values, we will have different views on a thing, I think my point of view is correct, and he also thinks that his point of view is correct, so often at this time it is difficult for the two of us to reach the same agreement.
Sometimes when my mother and mother are in a good mood, I tend to instill some correct values in her, because I always feel that my mother's values are a little off. It's just that I can only dare to do this to him when he is in a good mood and is willing to talk to me calmly, so I want to subtly influence his values and make his values become better like me. Although it was difficult to communicate with him every time, as time went by, the two of us rarely quarreled, and sometimes he would even echo my point of view.
But sometimes I let him, for example, when we have different views on something, I tend to take a step back and tell him that you are right. So at this time, the two of us will not quarrel, but can have a better conversation.
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When communicating, you must keep calm, your mother must want to be good for you, and completely describe your thoughts to your mother, hoping to get her understanding, if you really can't do it, go in the left ear and out the right ear.
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To communicate with such a mother, you must first say what you think in your heart, ask your mother to approve some of your things, and then communicate slowly with your mother to achieve the desired effect.
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First of all, you must know that you can't impose your own values on the other person, respect and try to understand the other person's thoughts. In the process of communication, slowly put forward your own opinions and communicate with each other on an equal footing.
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Your parents are not the same generation as you, so there is a big difference between you and their way of understanding and coping with things!
In order to communicate with them smoothly, it is recommended that you:
Expose them to new things (try to keep them up to date!). )
Learn to put yourself in your parents' shoes (try to make your opinions fit their ideas!). )
We must listen to the reasonable requirements of our parents and not be stubborn. (They are for your good!) )
Don't immediately point out the wrong things about your parents: older people love face, and that will hurt their self-esteem! (You can use tactful language to say your correct opinion when they are in a good mood, and they will praise you and like you more!)
In fact, they are not stupid, sometimes they just can't turn their brains around for a while! )
Love your parents so much! They're the ones who came over! They have many valuable life experiences and social experiences, which are very helpful for your future life and career development, and will be inexhaustible for your life!
You are the flesh and blood of your parents, no matter how bad your mother is, awkward, and strict with you, her heart's wish is still good for you, she is the same as her father, she will always love you! )
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If there is a big conflict, choose to keep your distance. In my opinion, once people have their own fixed value system, they tend to reject people who have different views from their own, so when you encounter people with huge conflicts of values, please choose to keep your distance. Therefore, I would like to warn everyone, do not choose people with very different values to spend their lives with, so it is inevitable that no one is wrong, but they can't get along well.
How to establish a correct outlook on life for children.