Where are the jokes? Where there are jokes, come a few

Life is full of jokes.

One day, Cao Cao and Liu Bei drank and talked about heroes. The two drank a few glasses, and Liu Bei suddenly let out a fart, very embarrassed. When he was in embarrassment, he only heard Guan Yu behind him say calmly: "Don't be surprised, the fart comes from the feather (rain)!" ”

As soon as Guan Yu's voice fell, Zhao Yun on the side took a step forward and said, "Don't be surprised, farts come from the clouds!" ”

As soon as Zhao Yun finished speaking, Zhang Fei continued to shout: "A fart just now, the fart is flying!" ”

Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.

Cao Cao didn't laugh, he was deeply touched by this matter. After sending Liu Bei and the others away, Cao Cao said to his subordinates: "Liu Bei's subordinates, when they saw that the lord had a mistake, they all rushed to take responsibility and make up for it, which can really be described as loyal. If it's your turn, will it be possible? ”

Everyone was indignant and thought: "Isn't it just a, why is it difficult to have a stool to rush to the min!" ”

A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again, and during the banquet he wanted to fart to see how his subordinates reacted. After holding it for a long time, I finally held back the verdict and returned a little fart. Everyone had been waiting for a long time, and when they heard the sound of "goo", the general Xu Chu hurriedly shouted first: "The fart was put by Chu (pig)!" ”

Wang Lang followed closely and said: "The fart was put by Lang (wolf)!" ”

Cao Cao widened his eyes when he heard this, and the others thought that Cao Cao thought he was slow, so they all rushed to grab him, and Xiahou Dun argued: "The fart is Dun (jumping)!" ”

Wrong! Xu Huang retorted loudly when he heard it, "The fart is dangling!" ”

Xun You said: "The fart is from You! ”

Full pet said: "The fart is a pet (rush)!" ”

Jiang Ji said: "The fart is squeezed (squeezed)!" "Jujube branches.

Guo Tu said: "The fart is from the figure (spit)!" ”

Zhong Xuan said: "The fart is from the fart (shake)!" ”

Then. Niu Jin: "The fart is gold (gold)!" ”

Cao Hong: "The fart is Hong (red)!" ”

Zhang Nan: "The fart is south (blue)!" ”

Cao Cao was already red-faced and about to get angry.

Guo Jia continued: "The fart is from Jia (clip)!" ”

Liu Bei and the others were already smiling.

Cao Cao fainted angrily.

It was snowing, and when I went out and saw an uncle falling, I went over and asked: "Uncle, my monthly salary is less than 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" ”

Uncle: "Young man, you go, I'll wait a while."

I was so moved that I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there."

The uncle also said excitedly: "You young man. It's quite real, you Biju don't leave me to be a witness, and I'll buy you a car to go to work and drive after you're done....Haobi....”

Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy.

。Mathematics teacher: "There are five stairs in a building, each with 20 steps, how many steps do you have to cross to get to the top floor?" ”

One student: "All the steps, of course!" ”

Tashi was called to the blackboard by the math teacher to solve a math problem, and after a long time of calculation, but no result came out, the teacher asked him to return to his seat.

So, the teacher instructed everyone to do the calculations together, and finally the teacher wrote ——... on the blackboardNow we can conclude that x=0! ”

Tashi listened and sighed, "Hey! After counting for most of the day, it's still a 0, what a wasted effort! ”

Causally. A: "Did you come out alone today?" ”

B: "The insiders have a hysterical seizure!" ”

A: "For what?" ”

B: "Because I came out alone." ”

Strangle me.

One prisoner was executed because the bullet was made by a counterfeiting factory, and the first shot missed, the second shot did not fire, and then the third and fourth shots ......

The prisoner cried and said, "Big brother, you can strangle me, this is too scary." ”

My surname is my word for you, my big name is to understand you, my scientific name is to hurt you, my milk name is to read you, my book name is Dream of You, my pen name is Love You, and my nickname is Chasing You, hehe, look at your stinky beauty, my real name is teasing you.

Happy and happy are a pair of good brothers, one day someone saw Happy crying and stepped forward and asked, "What's wrong?" "Happiness just say," woo. Happy to die, happy to die. ”

The ones on the few floors, I'm going to shoot out laughing.

Brother, I'm going to fight Xiao Han.

North Korea: ......Brother, I want to fight Xiao Han!

Russia: [Auto Reply] Yes!

North Korea: Brother ......You're going to help me then!

Russia: [Auto Reply] Yes!

North Korea: Brother ......Then I'll go!

Russia: [Auto Reply] Yes! …

Central Russia: Damn, I went to the toilet just now, what are you talking about, are you crazy?

North Korea: [Auto reply] Hello, I'm not there right now, I'll contact you later.