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When I was a child, my parents always paid attention to our growth and cared for us, especially my mother, who cared for us every step of the way, but as we grew up, our parents' nagging would also make us bored. In fact, this is also a normal phenomenon, because as we grow up, we have our own views on the world, our own way of dealing with things, and our own plans for our future, so the intervention of our parents will make us feel disgusted. <>
I think it's understandable that you feel disgusted that your mother is always planning for your future, but you also have to deal with this matter, otherwise it will make the relationship between mother and son worse. For what to do, I think you can try the following methods:
1.First of all, you have to understand your mother's good intentions, and your mother is also for you to live a better life in the future, so she will plan and plan everything for you in advance. So you should be considerate of your mother, and not disgusted with her because of disgust.
2.In daily life, you should communicate more than your mother, and you can't not communicate with your parents because of study tasks or work pressure, or even vent the emotions brought by pressure on your parents. In the usual communication, let the mother know that you have grown up and have your own plan for the future, and hope that she will not plan the future for you, and at the same time, you can also tell your mother your thoughts and let the mother give you opinions and suggestions, so that you will not stiffly refuse the mother's kindness and hurt the mother's heart, but also can supplement your own shortcomings, and can enhance the relationship between mother and child.
For your mother's plan for your future, you should be considerate and understand her intentions, and you should also communicate with your mother so that your parents can understand you.
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First of all, you should be grateful to your mother, and it is your honor that she is willing to care about your future. Second, you have to figure out what is the reason why you dislike your mother for planning for your future. It's because your mother's demands for your future are too high for you to achieve; Or do you have a different view of your own future, and feel that the future that your mother has planned for you is not in line with your outlook on life and values, so you feel disgusted?
Once you've figured out why, you can talk to your mother about it.
This conversation is just to show your opinion, not to negotiate, don't make the atmosphere extremely bad, that will be harmful to you, communicate with your mother calmly, tell her what you think about your future, and describe your future blueprint to her as much as possible. Mother always plans for your future, in fact, part of the reason is because your own life may be a little aimless, so your mother can't help but want to plan for you, when you tell your mother about your plan, she will feel at ease and will naturally stop nagging you.
And there is also a possibility that you and your mother's ideas are contrary, and no one can convince anyone, in this case, you don't have to be anxious, don't start quarreling because of discord of opinion, although that is your future, but the mother's will is often her obsession with some things that she has not completed, at this time she pins her hopes on you, is to satisfy her obsession. However, if you are not willing to do what she says, do not argue, calmly tell your mother what you think, and if your mother insists, you can give a few examples and slowly convince your mother.
Mother's plan for your future proves that your mother is full of worries and hopes for your future, and now she is repeatedly proposing it to spur you on, hoping that you will have a goal, don't think about the future as illusory, but delay yourself, so try to be considerate of your mother, this is just the way she loves you.
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I think first of all, you have to understand whether you are disgusted by your mother's future for you or her behavior of planning for your future.
If what you hate is the future she's planning for you. You can talk about it, I think the mother is the most respectful person in the world, she is the only one in the world who will listen to you attentively, listen to your plans, listen to your opinions, listen to your ideas, maybe she has something to do or often shows impatience, but you have to trust that she will think about it herself. She is the one who wants to give you a better future the most.
You should clearly tell your mother what you think, what you plan for the future, and what kind of life you like. Because most of the time we sulk in our hearts, think about it, we have never been brave enough to say it, why should we ask her to understand you?
Don't get angry, be calm, and most importantly, let your mother feel that you are respecting her wishes and that you appreciate her dedication to you.
If you hate your mother's behavior in planning for your future, reflect on your mistakes to some extent.
The most likely situation is that although you have grown up, you do not do things like a big child can do, in the eyes of your mother, you will always be a child, maybe your wings are already very hard, but she still has the desire to shelter you.
There is also the possibility that because of the prejudice in your heart, opposition for the sake of opposition. Maybe you don't have a different plan for the future in your heart, and you just simply hate or resent your mother's behavior that influences you. Have you ever thought about what she plans for your future, maybe just what you expected, after all, she is the person who knows you best?
Whatever the case may be. I think it's best to talk about it.
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Many times we wish that we have our own space and can plan our own future, but our parents don't necessarily think so, so what should we do at this time?
First of all, if you want to leave your mother's plan, then you must have a solid plan yourself, don't you? If you want to get rid of it, if you want to escape from the shackles, it is better to make yourself more capable. If you want to convince your mother, you want a harmonious solution, as long as your plan makes your future brighter, I believe that your mother will agree in most cases, and even feel that you have an independent mind, and your mother will even feel relieved.
If you just resist all the time, your mother will think that you are really disobedient, then in this case, it is even more important to plan your future for you.
Show interest in what you like and learn well. If you want to do what you love in the future, you have to work this one, make yourself better in the extra time, and show your talent in this one, only then your mother will see it. will let you do what you love to do.
What mother wouldn't want her children to succeed? There are successful people in every industry, so you can work what you like, so that your mother will see your strengths and be willing to listen to your opinions.
Finally, I personally think that mothers care about their children, and their ideas are always good, and her ideas may be wrong, but your thoughts must be completely right? Don't just rebel. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with listening to her.
Don't feel that you are very individual, thoughtful, independent, and think that what you think is right, in fact, your mother is not not not taking care of your thoughts in many ways, she just thinks that this is very good for you, is your total denial too absolute? It's better to discuss with your mother, make a compromise, choose what you like, listen to certain opinions and express your own thoughts.
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Children from rural families are different from children from urban families, rural areas are basically free-range type, children will not be involved in what they will do in the future, as long as they can live well, but the city is different, the father is very busy every day when he goes out to work, but the mother will plan the future of the child, and many things are not willing to do by the child, which is particularly disgusting.
As we often see in real life, mothers have enrolled their children in many tutoring classes, such as: study tutoring classes, guitar tutoring classes, singing and dancing tutoring classes, ......As long as the mother feels that it is meaningful to the child, she will do it, and it is better for the child to learn more when she is young, and when she grows up, the mother has already planned her future career, so that the child must learn this.
In fact, as children, sometimes we really have to take the initiative to talk to our parents, don't worry about being afraid to talk, and don't be afraid that our parents will blame us, otherwise we will always be planned like this, as if we don't have a life of our own, and every day we will envy the free life of those friends, so take the initiative to say it, tell my mother that I don't like to do this.
At the same time, I also want to tell them, I know that you are good to me, so that I can be better and there will be more ways to choose in the future, but I really don't like what you said, I just want to plan my future life, I am not young now, I can make my own choices, and the road ahead is also what I should face.
Maybe when you say something, your mother will feel that you have grown up and are no longer the ignorant version of yourself when you were a child, so she will cancel all the futures that have been prepared for you and let you go on your own.
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Communicate with your mother to share your true thoughts, and at the same time understand and understand your mother.
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Parents always like to plan for themselves, which must be a problem that many children will encounter.
First of all, I would like to say, don't instinctively rebel.
You have to believe that your parents are the people in this world who will never harm us. Therefore, some of their ideas and opinions, although we may not like them, we must also respect them. In addition, after all, parents are from the past, and their life experience is actually very valuable.
We don't like them to dictate our lives, but we need to listen to them sincerely. He will save us a lot of detours. Think about it, if they say something that is not from them, but from a good friend or someone we respect, are we willing to listen?
If so, you may just not like the way your parents force you to accept, then you need to learn the following second point.
Second, communicate well with your parents.
Some children and their parents will never be able to talk to their parents calmly, so they will instinctively rebel against their parents' opinions. If we're already in this situation, it's time to think about how we communicate. Our parents don't hold grudges against us, but they are also the ones who are most vulnerable to our harm.
If we ourselves are always hurting others, it is easy to destroy the good communication with them. Whether you agree with them or not, calm down and listen.
Third, come up with your own opinions.
If we really don't agree with our parents' opinions, then we should come up with our own ideas and opinions based on reason. If we can plan our future well, we can talk to them and listen to their opinions as people who have come to us. Even if our parents disagree with us, at least they will know that we ourselves are assertive and have ideas, and they will respect our choices.
Finally, if you happen to meet a parent who really can't communicate, stay away from them when you have the ability and don't give them too many opportunities to intervene in their lives. Distance produces beauty, and it also solves many problems.
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I would say to my parents that I have grown up, have my own plans, and have my own ideals in life. Only by doing what you like can you really do it well, and for the things that my parents have planned for me, I may not be able to do it well, because I don't like it.
I hope you will respect my decision, and I hope you will let me make my own decisions.
The words of parents are not necessarily wrong, we must take the essence of it, discard its dross, as the saying goes, loyalty is good for the ear, our life is in our own hands, listen to the opinions of others, but also follow their own feelings, so that we will become a win-win situation in life.
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I have to say that parents must have experienced a lot more than you, so they will have a lower absolute tolerance rate in making some decisions, and as parents, they are all for the good of their children. But as an independent thinker, we have to learn to make some decisions for ourselves, especially when it comes to life planning.
Chinese families are different from the West in that they are more dependent, so in the eyes of our parents, we always need to rely on their children, so making the best plan for us is what they want, so that we don't have to rely on them. So if you want to rebel against their decisions, show them what you're capable of. For example, if your parents want you to be a teacher, but you want to develop in the direction of photography, so you need to show them what you want to do, come up with good work to be recognized, and the most important thing is to have a stable income, so that your parents will realize that you have grown up and can support yourself, and your parents always think about us, so they can also support you.
Of course, we also have to pay attention to the method when opposing them. Parents don't understand your thoughts, mainly because they don't understand what you want to do, whether it's stable or not, and they're afraid, so you have to sit down with them and have a good talk, there's nothing that can't be solved by touching your knees late at night.
I think it's mainly because you think she's too ego and strong, and maybe because you're a guy.
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