Psychological communication problems, how to communicate with people with psychological problems

Well, judging from your story, I think your relationship foundation is very good, from high school to college to post-graduation work, the two have come a long way together. Therefore, if the personalities are not compatible or do not love each other, they should have separated a long time ago, and now, your problem lies in the participation of both parents, which is a problem that two people must face in the process of moving from the love stage to marriage, but the problems in different families are different, so don't panic, calm down and deal with it, this is the most important thing.

Secondly, let's talk about the impact of your parental involvement on your relationship: the problem first appears with your parents, you are not married but you arrange a job for him, which always makes your parents haunted by what they have done, always worried that they do not cherish you or treat you badly, and their behavior is to cheapen "that kid". So, it becomes a knot in your parents' hearts, and once you notice that your boyfriend is doing something different from what they expected, they will feel that you are being wronged.

What about his parents? I know that it is a loss to accept the job arranged by your parents before I am married, but I love my son very much, so I am especially worried that my son will be inferior under the pressure of your strong parents. That's why I often remind your boyfriend to say something to make him live like a man and live happily.

Finally, talk about your important role in this. You are the daughter of your parents, and you must not hurt their love for their daughters, but you must be grateful and appeased for their efforts. Secondly, you are your boyfriend's girlfriend, so you have to love him, understand him, and dispel his concerns.

He is a child who grew up in a less affluent family, and he is frugal in spending money, which is a habit, so it's not that he doesn't want to buy you things, but he is used to not spending money indiscriminately. You can remind him that his parents care a lot about what kind of show his son-in-law buys him, and you can also directly tell him what you like. Of course, whether it is the value you expect after he buys something, you must be grateful to him for encouraging him, and this kind of reinforcement will gradually change his habit of spending money.

In addition, he is a man with strong self-esteem, you must understand him, for your parents to arrange work, you should not preach from the perspective of your parents, let alone from the parents arranged the work, you must be better for me, but from the perspective of your parents who like you very much and want us to be together, do not put pressure on him, but add some lubricant to your love. Of course, for his parents' attitude, you don't take a stand, even if you do, don't show disgust, just say that your parents also care about you, and our future will be better with the care and consideration of both parents.

I wish a lover to eventually become a family, if everything is mature, enter the marriage hall as soon as possible! When you settle down, some of your worries are gone.

You all need to put yourself in your shoes, like he looks at these issues from your point of view, from your parents' point of view, and of course you too. I would like to say that from your statement, I can feel that your attitude towards your boyfriend is starting to change a little, although you keep emphasizing that you really want to go with him. Self-esteem is indeed very important to men, especially a highly educated person.

However, now everything indicates that he may have inferior thoughts in your home or in front of you, and this needs to be adjusted by you. In addition, for the part of spending money, the benevolent see the wise and the wise see the wise, this man is reluctant to spend money, it should not only be for you, but also for himself, as you said, this is caused by his growth experience, and I think he should not spend the money. If you look at it from another angle, does such a boyfriend know how to save money and won't spend money indiscriminately.

In your house, you are the only person he can trust and rely on, and if you don't trust him anymore, then you are also at the end of the road.

Feelings are a matter between two people, don't care too much about the opinions of the family, his parents probably only care about their children, although they are not very good at talking, you have to see how your boyfriend feels to you, whether he is good to you or not, it doesn't matter if he is reluctant to spend money on you, because these are secondary, the most important thing is to see where he spends that salary, understand his living habits, as for the part of the money he gave you, you can find another passbook to save it, he gave it to you, or that sentence, Don't worry too much about your parents' eyes.

Because of the influence of your family, you begin to doubt the relationship between the two of you, since you want to choose to be together, you must understand and tolerate each other's shortcomings, what problems are still solved by two people, don't involve the parents of both sides, after all, it is the two of you who live, and what problems in life are solved by two people through discussion. Besides, there are differences in the way men and women express their love, so exchange more thoughts and understand more about what the other person thinks in their hearts, so that life will be simple and happy.

The premise of happiness is that the door is right, you have already used examples to illustrate, the influence of money is reflected everywhere, his family conditions may not be as good as your family, so the concepts he has been instilled since childhood are not the same, (although everyone has gone to college, right) parents are also careful everywhere, and your parents' concepts are much different, which also leads to the difference between the two of you at the root of the three views. It's not that you value money, if you value money, it's impossible to get along with others, what I'm talking about is that the reason for the current situation is **, a man, he feels inferior to you everywhere in front of you, and even the foundation of his life is given by your family, this fact proves that he is not capable, and he himself will doubt whether he can give you happiness, and men are creatures, they all like to fantasize about themselves, what heroism and the like, but now ......

You've known it for so many years, and it feels too hard to let go, but getting married is a life, involving children, parents, and these are the majority of life, you think about it, and if the situation of both of you is reversed, it may be much better. What do women want most? If you ask women all over the world, the answer is yes, that is, someone loves her.

Your current way of giving, is that you are in love with him, you pay more than him, what does he use to show his love for you, he can only be good to you with his heart and lungs, and there is a feeling of guilt in it, if his parents you feel that you can't get along (this is very important, who will help you bring your children in the future?) If your mother-in-law's level is too poor, what kind of education is your child receiving, even if you study well, it is not genetic), if he is a filial son, it will be more difficult to say in the future, and now it may be that the balance is inclined to wife, as he grows older, he will feel more and more that it is not easy for his parents, if his parents say something messy and brainless from the perspective of his good......The most important thing when you get married is that he loves you, not that you love him, which determines whether you will be happy or unhappy in this life.

I'm a psychiatrist and I hope I can help you.

As far as your problem is concerned, it is better for you to simply tell your parents that your boyfriend gave it to you, because you are unhappy for a while, and he is happy to make you happy and let you go buy something by yourself. It's good to "collude" with your boyfriend beforehand, don't "goof". This has the advantage of directing your parents to "This boy still cares about our daughter, and the girl is unhappy, and he is anxious".

However, after reading your story, I don't think this is a way to maintain your relationship, in fact, there are too many "others" involved in your relationship, your parents, your parents' family, are influencing and even influencing your love, such love, even if the marriage is completed, it will not be happy, there are too many interferences, from money to the way of doing things, parents are involved, your family lives in the haze of your fathers, is this the marriage you want?

It is understandable that parents love their children's hearts, but when the child grows up, he should let go and let the child grow up healthily and independently, so that he will really grow up, the child is not a clone of the parents, although the parents have social experience and life experience, but it is the product of their era, how much reference and reference value do you have? The road is made on its own.

I know that it is very difficult for you to ask your parents for a short period of time to ask for the "haze", maybe you have many things and many reasons to rely on your parents, and this is also the key to the problem, are you really independent? Independent? Would you survive without your parents and the two of you in a city with no relatives?

Courage? If you really want to be together, then try it out, discuss where to go first, ask about work in advance, and then tell your parents that you want to go outside to see, if the two can still come together in "adversity", then everything else is not a problem, of course, if there is indeed a problem in this relationship, it will soon be exposed, parents are worried about their children suffering, this "bitterness" is compared to a lifelong marriage choice, what is it? Tell your parents that you will come back in a year at most, and then tell them that you have made a decision, and this is also a good opportunity to exercise yourself, and it is worth it to spend a year and see a person clearly.

It's good to be honest and maintain your relationship, and be honest with your lover.

The parents of male classmates will always be a little arrogant, don't worry, they are not angry, they will not destroy the marriage, don't care, pay sincerely, even if it will be a long time, it will eventually touch their hearts, you think, you have a boyfriend complaining about grievances, how happy.

Summary. And in the interaction with these people, first of all, you must make the other party equal to yourself psychologically, mental illness is not a fault, nor is it something unseemly, if you treat her as a patient at the beginning, it must be inappropriate.

Hello. In ordinary life, he should talk more and communicate more, and accept and respect the patient as a friend around the patient, not to make jokes about the patient's condition, and to provide appropriate emotional catharsis for the patient.

And in the interaction with these people, the first thing to do is to make the other party and himself equal psychologically, and it is not a fault for the psychological travel Sakura disease not to be calm, and it is not a shameful thing, if you treat her as a patient differently at the beginning, it must be inappropriate.

Another conflict about miscommunication.

It's a small thing, but the level of headache is not small.

Inexplicably, there are some other feelings.

So, what came to mind this time?

It's just—why am I always out of the storm? Why is it always a bystander?

Every time, I am like a witness to a famous scene, like an outsider who everyone is drunk and I am alone......Anyway, it's really rare to have the experience of being in the center of a storm.

Is it just because of his indisputable character?

This is said by myself, which is a little annoying.

But the probability is true.

Especially in the past few years, my mentality has changed dramatically, and I have never encountered any incidents that require me to be tough.

Most of them can be overcome with softness.

You can deal with it lazily, why do you have to be so rigid, how tired.

From the beginning, people constantly feel "a punch on cotton", and it is difficult to quarrel in this fight.

That's my personal experience of communication.

Very individual and very informative.

But the strange thing is that I always witness one quarrel after another.

I feel tired just by watching, why aren't they tired at all?

His waist was crossed to his armpits, and his chin was lifted to the sky.

It's really a trivial matter, not much bigger than sesame mung beans.

For example, if you accidentally step on me, I will reflexively slap ......

What the? Isn't this a small thing? Hey, how can you let him go?

Whew, and it wasn't meant to be.

Of course, an attitude like me, which has nothing to do with myself and doesn't have a backache when I stand and talk, can easily attract both sides to crusade together. So remember, many times, within the scope of conflict involvement, never show what is in your heart truthfully.

The clouds are light and the wind is light, and it is best to show an impartial appearance.

However, you can't have a kind attitude.

Too complex, too abstract?

If you want to say how to do it......If you really can't, just stay away from the scene.

Sincere advice. And I, needless to say, always get out of it.

After all, for many years, the image of operating in front of outsiders is not to cause trouble, to be obedient, and not to stand sideways. No matter what kind of war, it will be difficult to burn me.

Even if it's about me, I don't care much.

The sense of presence is neither so strong nor so weak, so that it can always be safe and stable.

It's actually hard to get it right, but I seem to have done it.

Always in the crowd as if they are separated, as if they are happy, and as if they are independent.

Whoever reads it doesn't say "you're awesome" ......

This conflict, which was caused by miscommunication, quickly died down. But there is a lot of stamina, and I have a hunch that the days after will break out from time to time.

Some people can tolerate differences in concepts, but some people have to fight for them.

No matter what kind of "fighting", it makes me feel tired.

Am I too lacking in energy. Yes.