What are some of the bad jokes you know about college math?

I think the joke about college math is that once upon a time there was a tree, it was very tall, and it was high mathematics, and there were a lot of people hanging on it.

I was a joke about college math, I tried my best to study it well, but I couldn't do every problem, and it was much more difficult than high school math, and there were no shortcuts at all.

I know a lot of bad jokes about college math, such as falling in love with integral numbers, and I think this is quite embarrassing, not romantic at all.

I remembered a bad joke about mathematics that Sa Beining said before, that is, when receiving the courier, because it was not delivered in time, the courier explained it perfectly with his academic knowledge.

The most bad joke I heard him say in college math was that high math, the moment I lowered my head and picked up the pen, and then I got up and didn't know anything, I felt like I had missed everything.

In my daily life, I don't know about college math jokes, so I still don't know enough about them, but if I did, I think it must be very funny.

I've heard of a time in math class where my pen fell and I looked up again in the seconds I was looking for it, and I couldn't understand what the math teacher was saying.

I was involved in data analysis, learned how to use SQL to ETL data from DW and built Cube. There are a lot of mathematical common sense in life that makes people who encounter them laugh and can't help but laugh, and people who don't understand it often feel inexplicable.

1. Unreasonable arithmetic.

The arithmetic teacher said, "There are 10 pears here, and 6 have been eaten, how many are left?" One of the gluttonous students replied, "I think I'll eat the rest as well." ”

2. Rounding.

Tsai Tsai happily came back from school and asked his mother, "Where's Dad?" Seeing the excitement of the boy, the mother asked strangely

Dad is at home, what are you looking for Dad to do? "I asked my dad for five dimes. Why?

Mom asked. "Before the math test, my father said to me, 'If you score 100 points, give me 1 yuan, and 80 points will give me 8 jiao.' Today, I scored 45 points in math.

45 points in math? Tsai said proudly, "Yes, math has to round up to 5, so Dad has to pay 5 dimes."

3. Capitalization. A fashionably dressed woman walked into the remittance office of the post office, filled out the remittance form, and handed it to the salesperson. The salesman looked at it, returned the order and said, "The numbers should be capitalized." The girl tilted her head and said, "Capitalized?" The grid is so small, how can I write big? ”

4. It's not wrong.

Minmin: "7+3=10, how do you write 7+3=1?" Baby: "It's just that the 0 at the end is not written!" Minmin: "That's wrong! The baby said, "Doesn't 0 mean nothing?" ”

5, Wu Zetian.

In history class, the teacher asked, "Who knows who Wu Zetian is?" Student: "Wu Zetian is a mathematician, and after five is added, he is the great mathematician who invented rounding." ”

6. Wait for the bus. Dad, bus 4 is coming! "Fool, that's not 4, it's 31! "The teacher said, 3+1=4! The little boy said confidently.

7. Here's the difference.

Teacher Fang said, "Think about it, if you were to choose half an orange and eight pieces of one-sixteenth orange, which one would you want?" "Ahh

I must be half. Why? "The oranges have lost a lot of orange juice by the time they are divided into sixteenths, don't you say, teacher?"

8. Calculation. During the exam, a student pulls out the dice and rolls out ten multiple-choice answers.

Towards the end of the day, he suddenly took it out and shook it again.

The invigilator finally couldn't take it anymore: "What are you doing?" ”

The student replied, "I'm doing the calculations." ”

9. Rounding.

Tsai Tsai happily came back from school and asked his mother, "Where's Dad?" Seeing the excitement of the boy, the mother asked strangely, "Dad is at home, what are you doing with Dad?" "I asked my dad for five dimes. Why? Mom asked.

Mom was surprised and asked, "What! 45 points in math? Tsai said proudly, "Yes, math has to be rounded, so Dad has to pay 5 dimes." ”

10. The teacher of multiplication and distribution law found that a student's name on the workbook is: wood (1+2+3).

The teacher asked"Whose workbook is this? "A student stands up:

It's mine! "Teacher:"What is your name?

Students:"Mullinsen! "Teacher:

So how do you write your name like that? "Students:"I'm using the multiplicative distributive property!

Choose my dear

1.Plus.

There is a family, the child of this family has always been bad at math, his parents changed many schools for him, and finally, the parents and their children changed to a church elementary school, and this child's math is among the best. The parents were also very strange, so they asked, "Is the teacher teaching well?"

The child said, "No." The parents asked again

Is the textbook different? The child said, "No."

Parents asked, "What's that?" The child said

As soon as I entered the classroom, I knew there was a lot of emphasis on math because as soon as I walked in the door, I saw a person pinned to the plus sign! ”

2.Mathematics Chinese.

A graduate student from the Department of Mathematics in the United States came to Taiwan to collect information on the development of mathematics in ancient China. He was a first-time visitor to the East, and he had never learned Chinese, but he learned to write the intricate character "Zhang" in just half an hour – and in cursive. Surprised, I couldn't help but ask this genius for advice.

He said, "It's nothing, I'm just writing the number three and thirteen quarters in one stroke." ”

3.Everywhere is unguided.

When a foreign scholar (who is engaged in mathematics research) visited our school and stayed at the guest house for foreign guests, when he was leaving, I asked him what his impression of our school was, and he said: "Your school's guest house is so bad that I will never dare to live there again!" I hurriedly asked why.

The professor said, "The bowl for eating, the mouth of the bowl is not guided, how can this be used for people!" I listened and laughed, this professor is a real metaphor!

It's a joke, but it's a great way to deepen your understanding of the concept of continuity and derivability.

4.Negative number. Mathematicians, biologists, and physicists sit in street coffee houses and watch people walk in and out of a house across the street. They saw two people go in first, and as time passed, they saw three more people coming out. Physicist:

The measurements are not accurate enough. Biologist: "They reproduced.

Mathematician: "If one more person goes in now, the house will be empty." “

5.Mathematician's answer.

Physicists and engineers get lost in the Grand Canyon in a hot air balloon. They shouted for help: "Hey——!

Where are we? After about 15 minutes, they heard the response echo through the valley: "Hey——!

You're in a hot air balloon! The physicist said, "That guy must be a mathematician."

The engineer wondered, "Why?" The physicist said

Because it took him a long time to give a completely correct answer, but the answer didn't work at all. "

I was told that there is nothing more complicated in this world than love. I slapped him in the face with a math book.

A soldier fills out a duty log. "What time is it today?" the soldier asked his colleague. "I don't remember either, just look at the newspaper.

Colleague said. The soldier picked up the newspaper and looked at it and said, "This is yesterday's newspaper!"

You're so stupid, just add the date by one! The soldier suddenly came to his senses, and then neatly wrote "May 32nd" on the duty log.

A math teacher talks about the multiplication of negative numbers in class, and the teacher can't understand how the teacher says, and the teacher angrily says that your IQ is all negative, and my IQ is thousands of times that of yours.

Under what circumstances does 1+1 equal to 4?

Hit (1+1) =4

Teachers often call a person who is not tall is the root number 2!

Make it up yourself, as long as it's funny.