Mother in law and daughter in law relationship, please help, even if the relationship between mother

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, this is a common problem. It's normal for you to do this.

First, we must adjust our mentality. Don't be influenced by bad feelings for a long time, so that you are reflexive, and sometimes think about whether it is psychological factors that cause rejection. The most important thing for a woman is the harmony of the family, and the family is not only the husband and children, although they are the most important.

The heart should be relaxed, and we must think about making everyone's court better. The Chinese tradition is like this, even if you live separately, you still have to take the big family as your own home mentally, so that you can have the basis for handling things well.

Second, we must be tolerant. In fact, there are a lot of trivial things to worry about in the family, and the mother-in-law is just a little more obvious. Keep reminding yourself that what is most important is to investigate right and wrong and hurt the feelings of your family, or to live a harmonious life as a family.

For example, if you talk to your mother-in-law about your husband's and his aunt's child, your mother-in-law's original intention is that your husband's is the mother's request for her son, and she has always hoped that the child can be stronger, so she said this, the mother-in-law did not take into account the daughter-in-law's feelings, but she was not targeting the daughter-in-law, this is the mother-in-law mishandled the details. But you picked out the focus and led the problem in the direction of creating contradictions, I know that this is your straight nature, but from the perspective of gains and losses, it is really not worth it. Since the mother-in-law is coarse-minded, we should be careful as juniors, this is also for ourselves.

You know, at this time, you and your mother-in-law are a family, and you should say something comforting. Say don't worry, my husband is not bad now, talk about the advantages of my husband, the hope of the family, and more importantly, the family is very happy, and I also found a daughter-in-law who respects my in-laws, which is more successful than anything else. Praising her husband in front of her mother-in-law is praising her son, no matter how much my mother-in-law criticizes her husband, she loves to hear others praise her son.

Then the situation is very different. So remember one thing: everything is for the harmony of the family.

When everyone is in a good mood, the family is good, not after knowing what is right and wrong.

Third, we must take the initiative. Family is the most important part of a woman, and spend a little time on her relatives. To know what the mother-in-law likes and needs, this is not opportunism, this is filial piety.

Take the initiative to move around often, look at the elderly, don't stay too long at first, move around regularly, and when the relationship is good, sit and sit more, talk about family life, and everything will be fine. Your husband is the son of your mother-in-law, what a close relationship. You can choose to compete or cooperate, depending on how you feel about your home.

Talk to your husband, it's easier to talk about this kind of thing.

Your mother-in-law has a reason for it.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to have been a big problem since ancient times, and it is complicated.

I dare to say that every family will have more or less mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts, and these contradictions will also imperceptibly affect the feelings between husband and wife, and some marriages are even torn apart by mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a special kind of interpersonal relationship, which has been difficult to deal with since ancient times. But in fact, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not as cruel as in traditional society. In traditional society, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a superior-subordinate relationship, which means that the daughter-in-law must obey her mother-in-law.

This also leads to the fact that in traditional society, the daughter-in-law is wronged and can only endure in every possible way, and can only obey and please her mother-in-law.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in modern society has escalated a lot, and daughters-in-law are relatively living a "good" life, but there are still some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships that are really miserable.

Do you remember the "Shi Chunmei Incident" in Zhangzhou? Just because she couldn't get along with her in-laws for a long time, Shi Chunmei took her two children to the extreme. This is a family tragedy caused by the long-term discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

After a woman gets married, whenever she gathers with friends, the topic of conversation is inevitably inseparable from her mother-in-law. I work on the emotional side, and every day there are many readers who tell me about the conflict between myself and my mother-in-law. Could it be that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is so difficult to handle?

I can't help but sigh that it is so difficult for women, it is enough to face the problem of children after marriage, and it is also necessary to face a complicated relationship with her mother-in-law. And trying to solve these problems is really nerve-wracking.

Some readers have asked me, is your relationship with your mother-in-law good? Frankly speaking, my mother-in-law and I had a big conflict before marriage, and after a year of marriage, it was eased, and now there is no conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

But in the final analysis, there are three reasons why we have no contradictions: first, my husband and I are very self-reliant, she does not need to bear and be responsible for anything for us, and she does not depend on her financially with the baby; Second, we are far away, far away from the smell and near the smell; Third, I have a good relationship with my husband, and I live more in a small family life of a family of three.

Have you ever wondered why mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships in China are generally difficult to get along with?

In addition to the daughter-in-law's suffering, some mothers-in-law are also miserable. The mother-in-law will think that she has finally become a mother-in-law, and she can finally play the majesty of the "old lady", but she is still very unhappy. There are so many complexities in a family, if you want to deal with the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you still have to figure out the reasons for your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and prescribe the right medicine to solve it.

The relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is maintained by the son as a bond. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult to deal with in the atrium relationship in front of many families, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in many families is probably a mess, some of them are harmonious on the surface, and they are muttering at the bottom. There is no emotional foundation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

So it's really easy to have regret friction.

Love is a matter of two people, but marriage is the union of two families. Once a woman is married, she can't just do things according to her own personal preferences. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, neighbors, relatives and friends in the life of husband and wife ......If you don't handle any detail well, you are likely to fall into an embarrassing dilemma.

After a woman gets married, the most important thing is to put herself in the right position, if the position is not correct, then the matter cannot be handled, maybe you are really a good heart, but in the end it turns out to be a displeasure at both ends. In the life of husband and wife, no matter how good the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, don't help your mother-in-law's family with these 3 things, be careful of suffering hidden losses.

1. Don't help your in-laws' family conflicts.

After a woman gets married, she has to put herself in a clear position, you are the mistress of this family, but this does not mean that you can use this identity to interfere in the family affairs of your in-laws.

As the saying goes, people are separated from each other, and no matter how close the family is, there will inevitably be contradictions and problems in the process of communication. If there is a conflict between your in-laws, you don't have to get involved and express your opinion. In the kinship of the in-laws, except for the husband, everyone else is an outsider, so you just have to wait and see what happens.

2. Don't help your in-laws' relatives borrow money.

Money is very important to each of our families at all times, and we must learn to be more cautious when borrowing money. If you are newly married and do not understand the temperament and character of your in-laws, once you borrow money without authorization, it is very likely to attract complaints from your husband.

When your in-laws' relatives open their mouths to borrow money, you just have to push the matter to your husband. If a man is willing to borrow, it means that the other party's character is reliable, but if he is unwilling to borrow, you can't be blamed for this matter in the end.

3. Don't interfere in the life of your in-laws.

After getting married, you are the mistress of the family, you can raise your husband and control your children, but you can't interfere in everything, let alone interfere in the life of your in-laws.

No matter how good the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, you must know how to keep a distance from your in-laws, know how to be proportionate, and since you have respected each other like guests, some things should not be checked. The in-laws must have their own lives, and if you interfere without permission to disrupt the rhythm, if something goes wrong in the future, you will put yourself in a dilemma.

If a woman wants to be happy after getting married, she must see her position clearly. The trivial life of the in-laws, even if you can do it well, please choose to stand by and watch, although it seems ruthless, it is the best way for us to protect ourselves.

It is difficult for a clean official to cut off family affairs, and once you make a move, you can't stop some busyness, and you will only get yourself into a steady stream of trouble.

Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a serious issue, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law directly affects the harmony of husband and wife, so even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law happens to be three kinds of help, don't help, sometimes you have good intentions, but it will backfire.

Every woman will experience the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and every woman hopes that her relationship with her mother-in-law can be very good, so that the family will become very happy. But when it comes to the relationship between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law, there will always be a lot of contradictions, and as a smart woman, you must know how to deal with these problems. Even if you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, don't help your mother-in-law casually, so that you can always maintain a friendly relationship with your mother-in-law, so that your family will always be happy and harmonious.

One: The life of the in-laws is not involvedEveryone has their own philosophy of life, so as a daughter-in-law, she does not interfere in the life of her father-in-law and mother-in-law, as long as the old couple lives well, then it is the best. Especially when the father-in-law and mother-in-law quarrel, as a daughter-in-law, don't interfere, because it's not right to help anyone, if you help the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law will feel that you want them to have a discordant relationship between the husband and wife, if you help the father-in-law, the mother-in-law will feel that you are of the same mind as the father-in-law, and the father-in-law is a man, as a daughter-in-law, you must know how to avoid suspicion, only in this way, you will not get the disgust of the mother-in-law.

The lifestyle of the elderly is different from that of young people, so for the life of your parents-in-law, as a daughter-in-law, you must not interfere, sometimes you think it is for the good of two people, but your parents-in-law will think that you are nosy, interfere in their lives, so that you will have opinions, and in the long run, there will be various contradictions, which will affect the relationship between you and your mother-in-law, so that the family is not harmonious.

Two: Don't help your in-laws' relatives quarrelIn life, there will be all kinds of contradictions between people, so for the quarrel between the in-laws and relatives, don't help, sometimes you go to help, it will make the other party's quarrel more serious, sometimes you are out of good intentions, but others think you have ulterior motives. In fact, whether it is a quarrel between relatives of the in-laws or others, don't help anything, when you quarrel, you will feel that you are out of good intentions, but after the two people reconcile, you will feel that you are particularly redundant.

Therefore, if you can not participate in the quarrel of your in-laws' relatives, you will not participate, so as not to cause unnecessary trouble, estranged yourself from your mother-in-law, and lead to family disharmony.

Three: Don't borrow money from your mother-in-law's relatives when you borrow money, don't borrow money, it's easy to borrow money, sometimes because borrowing money will make your mother-in-law have a lot of conflicts with you. When you first borrow money, it will be very happy, but when you want the other party to pay back, the other party will find all kinds of reasonsThis will make you unhappy in your heart, and your mother-in-law will be particularly embarrassed at this time, which will lead to a gap between you and your mother-in-law, so no matter how your in-laws' relatives ask, don't borrow money if you borrow money

The harmony of the family needs to be managed with one's own heart, and only in this way will the family become more harmonious. If you don't know how to run a business in the process of getting along with your mother-in-law, then you must know how to learn, only in this way will you not leave regrets in your life.

Try not to give money if you want it, especially if your husband has brothers and sisters, and your mother-in-law asks for money for the possibility of her daughter, so don't give it. The other is not to help to talk about the sister-in-law, that is, it seems that what you said makes sense from the perspective of the mother-in-law, but in fact, in the end, the relationship is still your problem. The last one is not to help your mother-in-law do things that make you unhappy, everyone has a bottom line, and you must make the bottom line clear, and if you do it once, you will be asked to do it a second time, so what you can't help, you have to make it clear at the beginning.

The first kind of busy, the mother-in-law has a conflict with others, you don't stand on the mother-in-law's side to talk about those people, it's better to keep silent. The second kind of busy, if there is any quarrel between the mother-in-law and the brother-in-law or sister-in-law, you should not mediate. The third type of busy, if there is a relative who owes money to the in-laws, you should not come forward to ask for it.

No matter how good the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, don't help your in-laws borrow money, don't help your in-laws solve family disputes, and don't help your in-laws manage money. You must know that borrowing money from your in-laws will never come back; To solve family disputes for your in-laws' family is to make trouble for yourself, and to manage money for your in-laws will definitely become the enemy of the whole family.

If you don't want to quarrel.

Be courteous and patient

The old man doesn't like to nag when he is old?

As the younger generation, we should be considerate!

If she scolds you. She is tired of scolding, and she will stop when she is tired of arguing.

The most important thing is to get along with each other on a regular basis.

You can accompany her to the park for a walk in the evening. You just have to treat her as your own parents!!

The mother-in-law quarreled and suffered from her husband's son.

I think there will be fewer and fewer people in the future, because after all, China is developing now, gradually connecting with the world, those stereotypes and bad customs in the past will cover less and less, and there will be fewer and fewer mothers-in-law without culture, I remember that women in the 40-50s were the most pitiful, when the daughter-in-law was angry with the mother-in-law, and when the mother-in-law had to look at the daughter-in-law's face, hehe, it was mainly caused by China's feudal bad habits, and it will be better to open the chain in the future!