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I have to live and live. As a bystander, watching them marry for the sake of getting married, having children for the sake of having children, and living for the sake of living, I don't know whether to feel sorry for them or criticize them. I have never been able to understand what makes them willing to give up themselves and become a puppet, perform according to the plot set by their parents, and perform for the rest of their lives.
One of these arranged marriages was my best friend, and I tried to stop her, but failed. Now, we are getting farther and farther apart, and this distance does not refer to geographical distance, but to the distance between hearts.
We once said that we would work hard together and find our own little world in a foreign land. At that time, her situation was better than mine, and her career development direction was better than mine, but she was arranged by her parents to return to her hometown. There are still big differences in lifestyles, job opportunities, and career development between small counties and cities, and these differences can lead to differences in ideas and values.
Now my best friend and I don't have any other common topics except reminiscing about the past, so there are fewer and fewer contacts, and occasionally we can only talk to each other about our respective living conditions.
From her words, I could hear her helplessness and unhappiness. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, one person with three children, and is also responsible for the family's food, drink and Lazar. Her life can only revolve around the family, without the slightest personal space.
She said she thought about change, but when she saw her three children, she felt that she had no way out but to maintain the status quo.
I wanted to encourage her to make up her mind to give herself a little space and live for herself, but she never said it. A person can never change his life by relying on the opinions of others, and it is only possible to change his life if his own thoughts change.
I am Antu, a happy emotional expert, thank you words for us to meet!
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I feel that the people around me are more strange, and the people around me who were arranged by their parents have a happy life in the end. Maybe it's because I didn't get into their families.
Let's say two typical examples.
I have a cousin who is very beautiful and tall. I had a boyfriend before, however, I didn't talk about the end. Later, the parents introduced a better boy, and they got married.
Now I'm really happy, I have two baby boys, and I often travel everywhere or something.
My mom has a colleague who is meeting a good young woman of the right age among acquaintances for her son who is far away in Canada. Because they are all acquaintances, they also know the roots better. In the end, it should be found successfully, and then they can communicate with peace of mind, and now they are living happily in Canada.
In fact, I feel that there are very few cases of arranged marriages between parents now. More often than not, it is your parents who help you screen some people, saving you time and energy. As a person who has been before, sometimes your parents can also help you judge some situations.
But the most important thing is to choose with yourself.
In fact, I will not refuse my parents to introduce quality boys, but I also do not think that the boys I know and choose are bad. Love and marriage still have to choose what you really want.
May we all find our true love!
The likes are all the gold owner's father
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I am glad that I live in an era of free love, and I have been in love many times before I chose to get married. But even so, I often regret it after marriage, saying that I was really blind (laughs), and of course, I only say such angry things when I am angry and quarrelsome.
It can be seen that there will be dissatisfaction in free love, and there are many divorces, but they are chosen by themselvesCrying is also responsible for yourself to the end.
And our parents, grandparents, and even earlier, most marriages were arranged, and I have seen happy and unhappy ones. There is a couple who can be said to be not too happy, and I want to tell their story.
They are all children from the countryside, and they got married at the behest of their parents. Unfortunately, both of them have very stubborn personalities, and it can be said that they have surpassed a lifetime of fighting.
There are a few things that stand out to me.
When a woman gives birth in the countryside, the man wanders around and comes home to visit his wife and children, without bringing a little gift, he reaches into his trouser pocket and touches two pieces of chewing gum, and takes them out for the woman to eat. The woman was desperate.
Once, the two quarreled, the man went out to work to make money, and he did not contact the woman once for half a year, and there was no mobile phone at that time, so it was very inconvenient to contact. At one point, women thought that men had really disappeared. Later, a friend told the man that it was very difficult for a woman to take care of a baby and farm in the countryside alone, and she almost reached the point where her family had no money, no oil and no rice.
The man thought of going home.
When he was young, men disappointed women too many times, so, now that they are older, women are full of disgust and impatience with men, unwilling to cook the dishes he likes to eat, do not wash a single piece of clothing for him, and stumble and lose their temper whenever something goes wrong.
Perhaps, the problems between them really can't be repaired. But they quarreled all their lives and did not divorce. Here's why:
If you are divorced, it will be too ugly to say. The misfortune of their generation is not only that they have to listen to their parents when they get married, but also that they find that they are not happy and do not even dare to divorce.
I am Mohua, your love best friend, and I will accompany you to talk about love.
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It's not good, people have changed, and they don't feel so happy and aura. Arranged marriages sound like they only happened before the 21st century, and now they all advocate free love and marry love, who will be arranged marriages? But in fact, there are always exceptions.
For example, one of my high school classmates. <>
She is good-looking, especially with a pair of aura eyes, which is particularly cute. Plus**fair-skinned, 162cm tall is not tall or short, and he is dressed up especially quiet and soft, which is the object sought after by many boys. Because of this, she has been in love since her first year of high school, and her boyfriend at the time was a boy from another school, we have seen **, he is quite handsome, the two are very compatible, and he also wears a couple ring.
But they broke up before graduating from high school.
Later, she took the junior college entrance examination, and there are still many suitors, this time she chose a ** darker, and the facial features are not very good-looking boys, they have been together for three years, and they broke up not long after graduation. Later, her family arranged a job for her, and she has been developing in her hometown. <>
At the age of 24, he was introduced by a matchmaker to a blind date with a boy from the next town, who graduated from secondary school and was a driver. People are darker, they don't like to be clean and they love to swear, and they have a rather short temper. She didn't like it, but she didn't know why her parents liked it so much that they insisted that she marry him, saying that he would be prosperous in the future.
In the end, she agreed.
After two years of marriage, I didn't want to have a baby and was bullied by my mother-in-law, and my husband never helped her. Later, a daughter was born, and family relations were still strained. During this period, she was promoted and raised, and bought her own car.
Her husband is still working as a driver in the factory, playing cards and drinking after work, and quarrels with her if he disagrees. Later, at the class reunion, we couldn't believe that the original class flower turned black and fat, and the most beautiful eyes were full of haggardness. <>
The arranged marriage is not what I want, who is willing to entrust his life to a man who doesn't love and doesn't understand in today's fancy world? The girl should keep her eyes open and make her own decision.
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In general, the possibility of being married by the parents exists, but the final outcome depends on the relationship and attitude of both parties.
First of all, when both parties have full knowledge and awareness before getting married, and have common values, feelings, and expectations, then being arranged by the parents to marry can be very happy. Not only will we be able to understand each other better, but we will also be able to communicate better and spend our lives together. And, since both parties' family backgrounds and cultures are already similar, they can take better care of each other, leading to greater well-being.
However, if the parties do not have a good understanding and communication before the marriage, or even lack of trust, then the possibility of being arranged by the parents will be greatly reduced. If both parties do not share common values in the marriage, do not have real emotions, and simply do what the parents want, then the marriage can become boring and lack warmth and happiness. Moreover, if the two parties are very different in terms of family background, then there may be a lot of conflicts, and there will be no better marriage future.
Accordingly, Is it possible to be happy if you are arranged by your parents? The answer is possible, but it depends on the relationship and attitude of both parties. If both parties have good communication and understanding before the marriage, and have common values and expectations, then this kind of marriage may bring a lot of happiness; If there is a lack of trust on both sides, there is no more communication, and the family background is very different.
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This question is not easy, everyone's situation is different, and the final result depends on the relationship and attitude of both parties. First of all, when both parties have a full understanding before marriage, the three views are the same, and the living habits are roughly the same, the marriage arranged by the parents may be very happy, because both parties can understand each other, and the contradictions can also be reconciled and communicated well, and they will spend the rest of their lives together, and the family backgrounds of both parties are similar, which can also reduce the troubles caused by many family differences. If it's the other way around.
The possibility of happiness will be greatly reduced, because there is no common three views, and the family background is different, there will be a lot of contradictions, than which side says that you are angry, but the other party does not know what reason you are, it will deepen the contradictions, and the contradictions will accumulate, and the daily noise will make your marriage a chicken feather, physically and mentally exhausted.
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The marriage arranged by the parents is generally not happy, because the people they are looking for are the ones they feel full of confusion, and people of different generations have different opinions, and you may not be satisfied if they are satisfied.
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The happiness of marriage depends on management, whether it is arranged by parents or free love, you will be happy when you meet the right person.
In fact, the marriage arranged by the parents can still be happy. The reason why I say this is because the core factors that determine whether a marriage is happy or not are the relationship between the husband and wife, the marriage arranged by the parents is more suitable and easier to be happy in all aspects, and the marriage arranged by the parents can get their strong support and therefore is easier to be happy.
1. The key factor that determines whether a marriage can be happy is the relationship between husband and wife.
For a marriage, the most critical factor in determining whether it is happy or not is the relationship between the husband and wife. ......Specifically, if the relationship between the husband and wife is deep, the marriage can be happy even if other conditions are worse. And if the relationship between husband and wife is indifferent, even if other conditions are superior, it is impossible to achieve happiness.
Therefore, as long as the relationship between husband and wife is deep, even if it is arranged by their parents, they can still be happy.
2. The marriage arranged by the parents is more suitable in all aspects, so it is easier to achieve happiness.
One of the biggest characteristics of a marriage arranged by parents is that it is definitely more suitable in all aspects. The reason why this is so is because as experienced parents, they pay more attention to this factor. The result of the parents' attention to these factors is that the marriage they arranged is more suitable for the husband and wife in all aspects, so the married life of the husband and wife is more likely to be happy.
3. The marriage arranged by the parents can get their strong support, so it will be happier.
When it comes to marriage, parents' attitudes have a very important impact ......Parents will be more helpful in the marriages they support, and marriages will be happier. And a marriage that is not supported by parents will encounter various difficulties in real life, and it will be even more difficult to be happy.
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I don't think my parents' arranged marriage is happy. Everyone longs to have a happy marriage, and this happy marriage needs to be fought for and chosen by themselves. I've seen a lot of arranged marriages with parents that ended up being unhappy.
My brother's marriage was arranged by my parents, because my brother Zhaojizhong is more introverted, so he has never found a suitable girlfriend, so his parents are very anxious. So, I arranged various blind date activities for my brother, although my brother was very reluctant to that kind of activity, but under the pressure of my parents, I still participated in it again and again.
There have been many meetings before that have not been satisfactory, and later, there is a girl who thinks it is okay. So, my parents arranged for a matchmaker to tell my brother about matchmaking, and in this way, my brother got married at the urging of his parents. Because the two haven't known each other for a long time after all, they don't know each other well enough, so they often quarrel over trivial things in life after marriage.
I often tell my brother that since they have chosen each other, they should be more tolerant and understanding, and in life, when they encounter problems, they should communicate more. It is fate that the two can come together. But the elder brother said that he didn't want to get married in such a hurry at all, and he hoped that he would meet the girl he liked.
But his parents didn't accept his idea, and his parents wanted him to get married early, so that they could hold their grandchildren as soon as possible. but ignored his brother's feelings.
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This is an empirical mistake that I cannot agree with. Although the parents' starting point is good, they do not stand in the child's position to look at these issues, do not understand the child's feelings, the child will also grow up, and also have their own views and opinions, parents can not interfere too much with the child, some things should be made by the child to make their own decisions, the parents' views can be used as a reference. So I think parents always do everything and influence their children's own decisions.
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Let me tell you what I think about it.
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When I thought that when I chose to marry my husband, I was strongly opposed by my parents. It's because my husband's conditions are not very good in all aspects. The family is rural, and there is no stable job, so my parents have always opposed us being together. >>>More