Who has super funny jokes What are the super funny jokes

I wrote your name in the wind, but it was blown away by the wind;

I wrote your name on the sand, but it was washed away by the sea;

I write your name on every corner ......

Khan, I was arrested by the police.

A math teacher in junior high school was talking about equation transformation, and he rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted, "Attention students, I'm going to be transformed." ”

Once, I was arguing with my roommate, and he said that he couldn't win me, so he scolded, "You are my grandfather's son." The whole bedroom burst into laughter after a second.

A certain man, his wife often goes out of the wall, but he turns a blind eye, and his colleague sends a couplet. Shanglian: As long as life is passable. Downlink: Even if it's a little green on the head. Sideways: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

One night, a roommate said in a dream: "Miss, your surname." After a while, he changed his voice again: "Xiaoli." "Khan!

A student was caught by the enemy, who tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Where are you?" If you don't say anything, I'll electrocute you! The student replied to the enemy, only to be electrocuted, and he said, "I am from the University of Electricity." ”

Once upon a time there was a man who had a parrot, and one day he taught the parrot to speak.

The owner said, "I will jump." The parrot also said, "I can jump." ”

The master said, "I will run." The parrot also said, "I will run." ”

The master said, "I can fly." The parrot said, "You are a liar." ”

The son went to the supermarket with his father, and the son was slow to make a decision, and the father said:"Manly people should do things simply, think about what Dad usually does? "The son no longer hesitated, and shouted loudly:"Come to the bottle of two pot heads! "

Are you available now? Got time? Then look down on ......

How's it going? Is there still time? That goes on ......

Do you still have time? Try again if you have one. ...

What's going on? ......

Well, goodbye, if you have time to look up again! Bye!

A polar bear was lonely on the ice in a daze, and when it was bored, it began to pluck its own hair and play, one ......Two ......Three ......There was not a single one left in the end, and he suddenly screamed .........It's so cold!! ...

I finally know what a bad joke is.

It was snowing, and when I went out and saw an uncle falling, I went over and asked, "Uncle, my monthly salary is less than 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" ”

Uncle: "Young man, you go, I'll wait a while."

I was so moved that I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there."

Uncle <> also said excitedly: "You young man. It's quite real, don't leave me to be a witness, and buy you a car to go to work and drive ...... when you're done”

Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy.

When I was 10 years old, my PE teacher said to me: "Exercise for one hour a day, and as long as you keep doing it for 50 years, you will live to be 60 years old."

When I was a child, there was a woman who confessed to me that I decisively rejected her, and her brother came to me and asked me, "You are very good, I said, I am a snake, and then I was beaten."

Dad: If a child bullies you, you shovel him! Daughter: But I'm a girl, Dad! Daddy: Oh, you can use a pink spatula!

Today's exam, just two minutes after the paper was issued, my roommate handed in the paper, I wondered, this copy has to be copied for twenty minutes, I asked him when I came back, why did you hand in so fast? The roommate said: I read it once, I will, I must have passed, I will hand in the file and leave.

I remember one time, because I didn't do well in the exam, and then when I came home, my father beat me with a broom, and I suddenly remembered that the teacher said that I should be considerate of my parents, so I said while being beaten: Dad, didn't you eat today?

When I went home in the evening, my wife pulled my clothes and smelled them hard, and I was so frightened that I quickly explained: I accompanied my friends to dinner today, and there was absolutely no smell of women's perfume on my body! Unexpectedly, she slapped me and said: The smell of hot pot all over my body, I don't even call me when I eat hot pot!

When I was a child, there was a woman who confessed to me that I decisively rejected her, and her brother came to me and asked me, "You are very good, I said, I am a snake, and then I was beaten."

Super hilarious joke, the wife goes out to collect debts, only to return empty-handed after a few months. The husband said angrily: "You are so incompetent!

The wife was unconvinced and said, "Although I didn't ask for the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" My husband was overjoyed and asked

What about people? The wife slapped her stomach and said, "It's locked inside!"

My wife often said that if she won the lottery one day, she would never give me a penny, divorce and move abroad. She must not know that I have been buying lottery tickets with the same numbers as her for 5 years......Look if she can smile when she arrives!

An employee bought a mug with the words "I want a salary increase" printed on it, and every time he had a meeting, he had to rush these words at the boss. Finally, one day, the boss also bought a mug with the words "fuck off".

A classmate asked me: Is the mayor of Nanjing called Jiang Daqiao? I said, "No!" The classmate said: Then when I made the train yesterday, I saw a big sign that said, "Welcome to the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge!" I'm speechless!

The above is the solution joke, very funny.

The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" ", Uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can you leave a pair of pants for your aunt?" "

Female: Put it on!

M: It's better not to wear it.

F: Wear a safety point.

M: Trust my skills.

F: If you don't wear it, you won't be allowed to get on it.

M: If you don't wear it, you look like a man.

F: Are you annoyed? Will you die wearing a helmet on a motorcycle?

Joke|Spoof|Funny|Thunderman|**|It's in.

It's not funny that you smashed my computer, it's really funny!

This person, as soon as he was old, he loved to fart, and he used to let it go three times a day, trouble!

But since there is a new cover, a high cover fart, a fart on top of the past five farts!

My waist is no longer sore, and my legs are no longer sore!

High-pressure fart, fruity smell, a fart on the fifth floor, no effort!

Funny, right? Hahahaha!

This person, as soon as he was old, he loved to fart, and he used to let it go three times a day, trouble!

But since there is a new cover, a high cover fart, a fart on top of the past five farts!

My waist is no longer sore, and my legs are no longer sore!

High-pressure fart, fruity smell, a fart on the fifth floor, no effort!

Funny, isn't it?

Why wasn't it late.

When a student was late for class, the professor raised his eyebrows and asked, "Why are you late?" ”

A student said, "I was in line early in the morning to buy your new book, but there were too many people to buy it, so I was late." ”

The professor smiled, turned to the other students, and asked, "What are you all doing?!" Why wasn't it late.

"We got up at 1:00 a.m. and lined up at the bookstore. So I bought your book in time, and I rushed to listen to your class! ”

Promises and nonsense.

Ori, a millionaire with a fortune, fell ill and was bedridden, apparently ill. He said to the doctor, "Doctor, if I'm a **, I'll donate $500,000 to your new hospital."

The doctor was happy and went out of his way to see him. After a few months, Ori recovered, and the doctor said, "I am happy that you are feeling well, and I would like to talk to you about the donation you should make for the new hospital."

Ori was surprised and said, "Did I agree?" ”

Yes, you made a promise to me personally. "How sick I am! Even talking nonsense! ”

Regret. The squad leader opened the parcel sent by his fiancée, which contained melon seeds and a love letter. At this time, a group of soldiers surrounded him, he hurriedly distributed the melon seeds to everyone to eat, and hid himself to read the letter, when he saw that the end of the letter was written like this: "I have eaten the melon seeds with my own mouth, and I will eat one if I want to, and I will kiss you once."

Honey, how does it taste? ”

Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loved her more than anyone else in the world.

But one day, his girlfriend left him ruthlessly, and didn't even give him a reason.

Watching his girlfriend being shopping by others' hands, he was in pain and lost his mind.

Finally one day he killed his girlfriend.

Originally, he planned to kill her and kill himself. But when he was about to die, he felt the preciousness of life.

Since then, he has been plagued by nightmares every day, in which his girlfriend is naked, with her hair disheveled, her red tongue hanging down to the ground, and her ten fingers like hooks come to ask for his life.

The nightmare tormented him like a bone, and one day he found a Taoist priest who wanted to get rid of it.

The Taoist priest asked him to do three things.

First, bury his girlfriend's body properly.

Second, burn the pajamas that his girlfriend was wearing before she died.

Third, wash the bloody clothes that have been hidden.

Everything must be done before the third watch, or there will be a fatal disaster!

He followed the instructions of the Taoist priest and did everything very carefully, but the bloody clothes could not be found.

The third watch was about to be made, and beads of sweat dripped down his face and wet the carpet.

When he was about to watch the third watch, he found the bloody clothes, but no matter how he rubbed them, he couldn't wash them off.

At this time, suddenly the wind was fierce, and lightning and thunder roared. The windows swayed from side to side as the wind slammed, and the sound of glass shattering made people's hearts beat even more, and suddenly all the lights went out, and the whole room was dark.

In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing blood-stained pajamas, with blood dripping from her eyes, and pointed at him with a hideous face and said sharply

Do you know why you can't wash off the bloodstains? ”

He was so stunned that he couldn't say a word.

The girlfriend continued: "Because you didn't use carved laundry detergent, stupid. ”

Newborn laughter can be heard in the hospital, and the doctors, strangely, break the clenched fists of the newborn baby. Saw a pill. At this time, the baby spoke: Damn, it is not so easy to kill me.

One day, Shou Yau goes on a date with his girlfriend. The two went shopping for a long time, and when it was time to eat, Shourou fainted when he touched his pocket, it turned out that he only cared about changing clothes before he came out, but he forgot to bring his wallet, and the change on his body was less than 10 yuan.

His girlfriend wanted to eat noodles, but the money was only enough to buy a bowl, so Shourou coughed a few times and said that her throat was very uncomfortable and she couldn't eat it. In fact, Shourou accompanied her girlfriend for an afternoon of shopping, and she was already hungry. As long as the two of them had a bowl and smelled the fragrance of noodles, Shourou's stomach was tested unprecedentedly, but just when he was almost drooling, his girlfriend pushed the bowl, saying that he was too tired and full after two bites.

At this time, Shourou quickly solved the bowl of leftover noodles in front of his girlfriend.

His girlfriend looked at him with puzzled eyes, and he quickly explained: "I haven't had a chance to express my feelings to you, today, I ate all your leftovers, which is equivalent to eating all your smells into my body, and we are one......."My girlfriend was moved to tears.