What is it like to feel helpless and lonely as an only child?

When I was young, I always wanted a biological brother who could play with me, who could take care of me, even if it was an occasional fight with me, I was willing. Later, as I grew older and grew up day by day, I found more and more that that idea was a beautiful.

In fact, my relatives also have older brothers and sisters, but they can only be seen on weekends and holidays or during the New Year's holidays, and they can't be my playmates who go to and from school together every day.

But luckily, most of my generation are only children, and every child is the same loneliness, so friends become important.

When we were young, the problem of playmates was easy to solve, but when we grew up and our parents grew old, we as only children, often felt that we had no companionship and no power to share responsibilities. Although my parents can still work now, they are also under pressure to support the elderly, and without siblings, there is no one to share with.

At this time, I very much hope that I can have a younger brother or sister, so that at least I can have them by my parents' side when I work hard in a different place, so that I can feel less guilty. I have always wanted to bring my parents to the city where I work, but I have brothers and sisters in my hometown, and my parents refuse to leave them, and my parents always say that their homeland is difficult to leave, for them, the so-called homeland is a place where there is their family, and I am just a person, just their daughter, and I can't compete with so much family affection.

Maybe it's also because of my only child, I don't have such a strong sense of belonging to my hometown. For me, as long as my parents can be by my side, then ** is home, I really want to be reunited with them, but I also hope that they can live under my care, I am eager to support them, even if I know that I will face a lot of pressure, I am also very long, just like they raised me.

As an only child, my biggest feeling is that I will have children in the future, I must have two, whether it is a boy or a girl, as long as it is two children, in fact, it is not how bad a child is, from childhood to adulthood, being hurt by the family, everything gives me the best, this may be happy in the eyes of many children, but many things have pros and cons, the biggest problem is loneliness, although we have a lot of friends, there are many people to play together, but when facing difficulties, Nothing but the kind of selfless mutual assistance between blood and family and brothers and sisters.

In fact, the helplessness and loneliness of an only child is not so obvious, and it is not something you can experience every day, because more often you experience that no one competes with you for good food, no one competes with you for father's love and mother's love, and even you are the only baby in the family. It's only when the feeling is strong. Especially when I encounter problems, I see that others have brothers and sisters to bear the pain and share the happiness together, but I don't have a trustworthy person.

I'm still relatively lucky, there is a brother, although it is not a brother, it is the brother's brother, but in my circle of relatives, we have recently, almost as a brother and sister, he has been special since I was a child, I was bullied by other children, he will help me, to find other children, there is something delicious for me to eat, I will be willful He will tolerate me, but I think of how lonely he will be when I have a child, I feel a little scary. Because my husband and I are both only children, if we only have one child, wouldn't we even have a closer relative?

In this world, there is a kind of family affection that cannot be replaced, that is, sibling affection, so, if you have brothers and sisters, please cherish it and don't care so much. The meaning of the existence of the feelings itself is much more important than those small interests.

It can be said that since the post-90s, many people are only children. This makes many children in single-child families lack playmates, and they are also very envious of the era of previous children. <>

I know the helplessness and loneliness of being an only child. Generally, there are several feelings:

First: the absence of childhood life.

Nowadays, many only children are regarded by their parents as treasures in their palms and give a lot of doting. At the same time, due to the improvement of the family's economic situation, many parents are particularly concerned about the growth of their children. Especially in the field of education, there is a mentality that you can't lose at the starting line, so you will sign up for various interest classes, cram schools and other learning guidance for your children from an early age.

Children's knowledge has grown exponentially, but they have lost the most precious childhood time.

Second: no siblings.

Parents who have only one child are doomed to the loneliness of one child. No siblings grew up with. Most of the time is played with adults, and there is ** between parents and children, so only children are relatively lonely.

Third: the burden on the family is heavy.

After the only child gets married, he not only supports his parents, but also has to support 4 elderly people after he gets married, and the pressure on the only child will become very great. Even if you only support two elderly people, in this era, the cost of living is so high, and the currency is so serious, but the salary level has not risen much. At the same time, it is the reason that it is an only child, and there is no one else to share their own pressure, so the only child will face greater pressure.

Everyone wants to have a good life, but dreams are often difficult to turn into reality. The helplessness and loneliness of an only child has long become a norm.

When you encounter something, no one tells you, no one helps you with ideas, and you have to rely on yourself to be helpless.

Go home to play alone, study alone, bored and lonely.

Of course, I will feel lonely.

For those of us who are born in the 80s and after us in the 90s and 00s, the vast majority of people are grown up under the conditions of a one-child family, many people think that our children who grow up in a one-child family are relatively lonely, because they have no brothers and sisters, but many people think that we are relatively happy, because we can get 100% love from our parents, but many times for some only children, what they get, this kind of 100% love. It may not be what they expect and yearn for in their hearts.

Because for many children who grow up in single-child families, although they can be taken care of and satisfied by their parents materially, and their parents often pour all their love into themselves, but for many only children. They often encounter certain difficulties in the process of growing up, that is, their parents often have too high expectations for themselves, as the so-called hope that their son will become a dragon, and the heart of their daughter will become a phoenix in the process of their growth will often exert great influence and pressure on them. For example, they will try their best to let these children study hard, and a lot of learning content may not be what these only children like, but they will still force their children to learn, although for these parents, this is a 100% love, but for their children, such love is inevitably too heavy.

On the other hand, for many parents, their children are only children, so they will give 100% love to their children, but this 100% love, to a large extent, will also become a kind of doting on their children to make mistakes Parents are reluctant to criticize education, but they do not realize that this kind of love and education is not conducive to the growth of their children. On the contrary, it will cause many problems in the growth process of their children after balancing, and even this kind of education will harm their own children, so it is a good thing for only children to be able to get 100% love from their parents. But for parents, they should also find the right way to educate their children, and be able to love their children with a correct attitude, so that they are truly responsible for their children.

As an only child, there are the following moments when you feel lonely.

Loneliness, only when you really encounter things will you feel lonely and helpless, if you don't encounter things, it must be a good person, no one grabs their own toys, no one competes for the favor of parents and relatives, what is delicious, fun, always be alone, how good!

However, if you really encounter something, you will find that you don't even have a person to consult, not even a person to share with yourself, after all, some family affairs are not suitable for discussing with friends, and some family responsibilities have to be carried by yourself. Therefore, being an only child is not a question of whether it will be lonely, but that there must be times when it is lonely and helpless.

The only child has no companions in the family, will feel very lonely, although he has classmates and friends, but will not be with them all the time, and their classmates and friends also have brothers and sisters at home, they can feel the joy of family, and the only child at home has nothing but to face the parents, although the parents can accompany them, but there are some things that the parents can understand, which reflects the importance of brothers and sisters, and, in a long life, brothers and sisters can also help each other.

On the one hand, although there are no brothers and sisters to take care of in the future compared to non-only children, and it is also a problem to support the elderly in the future, a person will have to face the support of four old people in the future, so it is not good to be an only child in this regard; On the other hand, an only child receives all the love of his parents from an early age, and he can get the resources of the whole family. When I heard this, an only child felt that my head was big, and suddenly I felt that my loneliness was nothing, people living in this world, loneliness may be a compulsory course, because life and death are always experienced; There are certain benefits to being alone, but having a sibling can also help each other.

Therefore, the envy of an only child for a non-only child is not just for a period of time, it is a lifelong thing.

When you are alone at home, when you see other children playing, etc. When you are alone at home and have no other children to play with, you will feel lonely at this time. When I first saw other children playing with siblings, I also felt lonely at this time.

When the elderly are sick and have to work and have no time to take care of them, they will seem particularly lonely. Or on some major festivals, there are very few people at home, and it seems very lonely, and some partners who have not discussed important matters feel very lonely.

You will feel very lonely, the first aspect is that your parents are working outside, and you only have time when you are alone at home, and this loneliness will arise spontaneously at this time.

The first aspect is that when I was a child, when my parents went to work and I was alone at home, this loneliness would arise spontaneously at this time, and I didn't have a mobile phone or computer when I was a child, and some toys were Transformers, shooting pictures, and bouncing glass balls. Another situation is that when you grow up, when your family needs you, and you work outside, but you have to go home, you will feel very lonely and helpless at this time.

Now the only child is not lonely, I am a post-80s, just in time to catch up with the family planning people, every family is one child, and some people who have two children also need to pay a fine for overbirth, it can be said that most of the post-80s and post-90s are only children, but will the only child really be lonely? I don't think so.

A lonely person is just as lonely as he walks in a noisy crowd, and I think it's not just siblings in relationships, we also have parents, we still have friends.

I don't deny the existence of loneliness, because in any era, every person will have a lonely side, maybe loneliness is a way for people to explore their inner world, a space for dialogue with themselves, but is it really lonely to exclude these factors? I don't think so.

As long as we are connected to our loved ones and interact with this society, we have a way to alleviate loneliness and not be bothered by loneliness, and those who are truly lonely are not because they have no siblings, but because they have put themselves in a bottle, isolated from others, and completely immersed in their own world.

It is very unobjective to say that the current only son and maid are lonely, and people's loneliness is not due to the lack of companionship of brothers and sisters, but probably because of other social factors or psychological reasons.

For example, if a person suffers from autism, and this autism is the ability to socialize with others normally, but this ability will not be acquired because he has siblings, so the person's personality also determines whether he will be lonely to a large extent, and it is unknown how much role siblings can play here.

It can be seen that the only child is not the culprit of loneliness.

Siblings are not the only way to chase away loneliness.

Not having siblings does not mean that a person will be lonely, because there are many ways for us to get rid of loneliness, such as making friends, and for example, meeting more people through the Internet, as long as we maintain an optimistic attitude and a warm family environment, we will not be lonely.