How to get rid of the mentality of you must be rewarded if you pay ?

I often seem to want to alleviate this kind of psychology, sometimes don't take it too seriously, time will ease everything, I think people can't live to be happy every day, always happy sometimes, troubled sometimes, since that's the case, you just let it go, uncomfortable then uncomfortable, and then you force yourself to eat, drink, work, it seems to pass all of a sudden, I think it may be your own problem to pay if you can't get a reward, maybe others have repaid you in another way, Because the pay itself is actually very happy, the feeling of being needed is also very satisfying, but everyone's behavior is different, it is impossible for everyone to be the same as you, to repay you in the same way, suffering is a blessing, maybe you feel that you pay today, you suffer, maybe tomorrow life will return to you.

I have a similar issue. And it can be more severe, including friends and loved ones. Not getting the harvest often produces anxiety, uneasiness, panic, and is very depressing.

The way to regulate yourself now is to keep a diary and record these events that have not been "rewarded" for helping others, which is regarded as an "account book". Then record a portion of what you've earned. I think the reason for me to do this comes from living in an environment where I was stingy with giving, and my relatives' education said that the first thing is to satisfy myself.

This is due to education and a lack of security.

Recognize that this cause may not be just self-inflicted, and that existence is reasonable. The most paradoxical part is that you are not satisfied with yourself, you recognize, so you struggle. If you want to change, start recording, I don't know what the substance of this method will be, but I know that through this method, I have been able to look at the gains and efforts of life very rationally, and I will be very calculating, but relatively peaceful.

This is also a way to do this, when you can explain it completely, in general, you have forgiven yourself.

However, people don't need to pay blindly, it doesn't matter if it's a small thing, try to get a harvest for big things. I am fortunate to have gained, but I have lost my life.

Pay is actually a kind of investment, since it is an investment, then there is a risk, no income may also be the result of your pay, since many times you can not avoid your own efforts to waste, then the only thing you can do is to do your own affordable investment, success is happy, failure is nothing. Do your best, prepare for the worst. If you bear the loss, you will pay, and if you can't bear the loss that may be brought by the payment, you should not pay like that.

On 6/9/18, my girlfriend and I formalized our relationship. After that, the game only plays and can be quit at any time, and chatting with other girls with better relationships is gradually decreasing; When I was with her, I only accompanied her, without any entertainment, and my brother told me to push them all. But I didn't see what she did to cement our love.

I started asking her again and again, "Do you dislike me?" When I asked, I was like a child, so it looked like I was being coquettish, not asking from the bottom of my heart. She loves every time!

But why do I ask her again and again if she loves me? Because I also feel that I have not been rewarded with an equal or nearly equal amount for my efforts! Since they like each other, how many are there?

The point is that "I think ah" is that I expect too much, too much, so much that even boyfriends and girlfriends can't give. So there is no such thing as a disproportionate return! It's just that I'm psychologically unbalanced and can't find the right positioning.

Why change it? This is normal psychology, are you Confucius? Are you Jesus?

It is clear that you are not, and you do not need to be, let alone allow yourself to be a symbol of being offered. So, please forgive yourself, this is not selfishness, we need to be rewarded for what we do, or monetary honor, or self-improvement. Of course, the things that you can't control, don't force them one by one, it's best to have returns, there are no positive returns, there must be gains in other aspects, this must be recognized.

Think about why you must get the desired reward for your efforts. Whether you pay is not enough, whether the process of giving is wrong, whether the object of effort is wrong, think about those who are born excellent, you will find that your previous mentality has been very good.

That's a matter of mentality, you can understand, everyone wants to make money, right, I believe that there must be a return on paying, the essence of life is like this, walking, walking and seeing, the sun or the moon!

In society, because everyone's living habits and lifestyles are different, personal personalities and expressions are also different, which also makes everyone react and behave differently in life. Some people have a cheerful personality and are good at expressing themselves; There are people who are introverted and good at hiding themselves. When you don't get a corresponding reward for your efforts to others, you must not one-sidedly think that this person is not worth your own efforts, but look at this problem from a comprehensive perspective, and some people's returns are always subtle and quiet.

It is good to adjust your mentality and have a clear conscience.

Third, pay willingly, so that you are worthy of your heart. Everyone has their own ways and means of giving, regardless of the purpose of giving, and regardless of the outcome. The starting point of the effort must be willing and worthy of the heart. You can't lose your original intention.

Do you think there will be a reward for your efforts?

Tell yourself that you pay attention to the happy process when you give, and you don't want to ask for any results.

Those who have a sense of responsibility will not focus on the corresponding return after paying, as long as they have a clear conscience. The most difficult thing to accept is to be slandered and framed after paying.

Divert your energy appropriately, don't let yourself think about these issues, and when you transfer all your energy, I believe you won't feel bothered.

You must tell yourself that not everything will have results after you have done it, and you can actively adjust your mentality and relax your heart.

I would tell myself that I would not be absent in return, but that I would be late, and that I would definitely be rewarded for my efforts now, but it was not time yet.

Be sure to persuade yourself and think about your shortcomings, it is very likely that you are not fully prepared, so you have not been rewarded accordingly.

We must have the right mentality, and our efforts should be selfless and unrequited. If the other party knows how to be grateful, we should be grateful, and if the other party does not know how to be grateful, we don't need to be too careful.

There is nothing wrong with kindness, but if you want not to be hurt and have nothing to do with others, you must cultivate a strong heart, strong is easy to say, but difficult to do, just like kindness, if you are misunderstood, people will inevitably have grievances, but how to think is really two ways.

I'll give you an example, I met at work, the personnel woman sometimes speaks very poorly, offending a lot of people, I think she gives me a little weak, a message leaked from her face to me, her family Dong Pei Nai life is not very good (as a result, through some side of the relationship she herself said some of her marital problems......So I personally feel that because of the family relationship, she will bring her emotions to work, everyone has to vent, understand her, as for whether she will continue to do this to everyone, this is her business, if she can feel that you think about her, and hope that her family is happy, I believe, the relationship with her will gradually improve, and even through her own influence on her. But this is a long-term process, and once you don't stick to it, others will immediately reverse their emotions. And be prepared for the other person not to change ...

As for some, people who don't want to care, just don't be friends, and don't communicate more.

Many people think that people do everything with a purpose, and there is no need to do things without a purpose, so there will be a sentence that I may not succeed if I work hard, but if I don't work hard, then I must be very comfortable, this sentence actually reflects a mentality of many people now.

Actually, I can understand the thoughts of those people very well, after all, if you put in the effort, you will have hope, and when the hope is disappointed, mistakes are inevitable. At that time, people would also ask themselves, if they didn't work hard, the result would be the same anyway, but they didn't work so hard. But this is only a partial idea, because you will find that when you put in the effort and get rewarded, the sense of joy and accomplishment is incomparable.

There are always a lot of things in life, I have worked hard, but I can't get to pay, the simplest is the emotional aspect, the relationship is a very complicated thing, not that I am good to the other party, the other party will be good to me. Every time I don't get something in return, I get lost in thought, and I wonder if it's really worth it.

In fact, it is worth it, after all, I am in a voluntary state in the process of giving, and I also enjoy giving for others.

And there is a saying that it is not because you see hope that you insist, but because you insist on it, you can see hope.

So perseverance has become my motto, when I encounter a problem, I will first think about whether the matter has reached the limit of my effort, if it does not reach my limit, I will grit my teeth and persevere, if I really can't persevere, then giving up will not be so guilty for me.

But I believe that there are still few things in this world that do not work hard, and if you want to get what you want, then you must put in the effort, but the measure of this effort is not you. So what you give depends more on how much you want to get what you want.

I'm not angry at all, because I give it willingly, and for the people I love.

I will tell myself that the reward has not yet come, or that I have not given enough, and I will look for problems within myself, perhaps because I have not yet met the conditions for a return.

When there is no return, we can't give up our efforts, because if we persevere, we will be able to see the results we want to see.

Who doesn't want to be able to be rewarded.

However, it backfires, and giving is not equal to return, so they are not proportional.

If you put it on a mathematical formula, it is absolutely proportional!

However, if it is a relationship, many people can't say anything about the relationship!

So why care how much you give? How much did he or she reciprocate?

If you really love him or her, what is it to pay for him!?

If he or she is happy, won't you be happy too!?

If what you pay is only what you want in return, then you still pay sincerely!

This is life, it is the process of growth ...

When you face a lot of things like this, it's not surprising, because you've been numb for a long time ...

Some things don't just have to be paid, they also have to pay attention to a little way and method!

As long as you give sincerely, it will definitely be rewarded, maybe not tangible, but it is also a kind of wealth.

Life will make us less youthful and vigorous, it will make us more mature and stable.

That's life! Don't sigh, don't grieve.

The sun will shine on your sky, making your sky even more dazzling.

That is true.

Because that's the way this world goes, as long as you give back.

Although the proportion of what is paid and what is returned is not necessarily the same, there are still some of them.

No matter what you do, you have to pay first to get a return, don't just want to pay and get a return; There is no such thing as a free lunch in the world.

Because love is reciprocated if it is extravagant.

That's not true love.

Do you want to reciprocate love for yourself? If so, is that love?

If you pay, you pay, do you need to care so much?

There is only a willingness to love the individual.

If you're willing to give, why are you so straightforward in return?

People who are willing to pay for you, your love is not reciprocated, it is not because you are doing it wrong, it is because you are doing it wrong, you have to find someone who is worthy of your dedication, understand and accept the person who will treat you well, so that your love will be rewarded.