Is there a joke that you faint with laughter after reading it?

No, I haven't heard a news report that I can see a joke and faint laughing.

0 Xiao Ming's father hit him twice yesterday. For the first time, Xiao Ming was seen by his father holding a test paper with only 20 points on it. Then he flattened him, and after the beating, Xiao Ming's father found out that the roll was his own childhood, so he beat Xiao Ming ...... again

1 One day, a friend went to the supermarket, and on his way home, he encountered a knife robbery, he calmly looked at the knife in the young man's hand, and took out the 42 cm long watermelon knife he had just bought from his bag ......

The friend said that he still has not forgotten the ...... expression on the young man's face when he saw the watermelon knife2. A classmate wrote in an exam: Thousands of mountains and rivers are always love, and it is not okay to give some points.

The teacher who corrected the paper read it and replied to him: There is love in the world, and giving a score of 0 is also love.

3. A classmate in the dormitory went to the toilet and accidentally dropped his mobile phone while playing with it.

Then, I went back and got a pair of chopsticks to pick them out. Just as he was about to put down the chopsticks to fish, a buddy went into the toilet.

Seeing this, the man asked with concern, "Dude, you haven't eaten yet"4 Ask: What is the most self-deceiving thing in the world?

A: **In the first step of registration, I have read and agree to accept the above terms.

5 I remember this year's Lantern Festival, someone posted a picture.

There are six rice balls in the bowl, which are written: wealth, happiness, success, wishfulness, health, and happiness.

It's a pity that such a good thing has been lost.

If after death, you see Meng Po at Nai He Bridge and give you Meng Po soup, what do you say?

A: Don't let me forget my loved ones, okay?

B: No coriander and chopped green onions, thank you!

Good idea! As a result, the man was beaten to the point of urine, and it turned out that he confessed as: I can feed you earwax!

Seeking adoption!!

A person goes to hang water (hanging needles), looks at the drip and laughs, others ask him what he laughs at, he says: I laugh at the drip (low).

Character: A ghost.

Procedure: Fart, Result: Dead.

1, Xiao Ming's wife yelled at Xiao Ming: "You Yuque, a man with no sense of responsibility, you know that watching your basketball game, you don't know how to take on the responsibilities of the family!" Xiao Ming was not happy and yelled:

Do you have proof? That's what you say! Xiao Ming's wife yelled

When was the first time we met? Xiao Ming roared: "One day Yao Ming joins the national team!"

Pai Demo shouted 2, Xiao Ming went to buy vegetables that day, looked at the green onions and said, "Big brother, the green onions are a lot of money!" The old man who bought green onions said

A pound for a dollar! Buy it or not? Xiao Ming shook his head and said

It's too expensive, I'll buy it for five cents! The old man said: "Okay, I think the young man also bought it sincerely, and I sold it for five cents!"

Xiao Ming hurriedly said: "Uncle, don't worry, I don't buy it, I am investigating the price of dust."

A driver looked at the car with some difficulty, not knowing whether the driver had bad eyesight or because he had drunk alcohol, only to see the driver's eyes full of bloodshots. Suddenly, there was a bang, which made the driver's heart jump to the limit, and the driver jumped out of the car and said anxiously: "Uncle, are you okay?"

The old man said with difficulty: "Qi Qing just glanced at you in the crowd, but you were knocked into and couldn't take care of yourself!" The driver was stunned for a moment and hurriedly said:

Uncle, you can't be like this, I've been watching you, I thought you would avoid me when you saw me, but I didn't expect you to avoid the car! The old man patted the driver's hand and said: "Child, then you are also at fault, and the uncle will not lie to you, give me a few million and it will be regarded as poverty alleviation!"

The driver cried and said: "In the crowd, I can meet you for the banquet, this is not fate, it is fog."

1, Zhang Cai was found by the teacher doing math homework in the ideological and moral class, and the teacher said: "You didn't pay attention to the lecture, and I did math homework in class, this is not a proper behavior, I want to confiscate your math homework." Zhang Cai didn't want his homework to be in vain, so he begged the teacher to let him go.

However, the teacher had to accept it, Zhang Cai said: "If you confiscate my math homework, I will read the ideological and moral books in math class, and let the math teacher confiscate the ideological and moral books, I will fail the test and seriously drag you back." 2, Bo Yuanhan often boasted of the prestige of his own smile, and said confidently:

I can guarantee that all the students will respect me when they see me, such as nodding their heads. A tall boy said, "That's because the student looks up and sees your baldness, and your bald head is very glaring."

3, a geography teacher likes to pat students' heads, and Lin Chen's head is often patted numbly. On this day, Lin Chen thought.

In the first semester of high school, everyone knows that they have to be divided into classes, and that day, after the class was divided, I took my things and walked to the class downstairs excitedly! After walking into the class, I bumped into someone, and I was in a bad mood because of the class, so I said, "Nima?

You don't have long eyes when you walk? At that time, I regretted it after saying this, not because I hit this thing so strongly, but because I hit this thing as a teacher, and yelled at me directly: "Are you from this class empty state!"

I was also a little frightened at the time, and said in a daze: "Yes! The teacher laughed at the time, saying that he would be the head teacher of this class in the future, and also introduced, what is his name, and then he kicked at me in front of more than 60 students in the new class, and criticized education!

Just as I burst into tears and wept bitterly, a boy stood up.

One day, my work was a mess, and my business reports were full of loopholes, and my attitude towards customers was also a problem with early dates, and I was complained. The boss called me to run the company, I knew that this was more than lucky, but I couldn't help but let the stupid go, I could only push the door into the leadership of the company. The leader looked at me, smashed the business report on my face and said:

Lin Xiaoyu, how did you get it? When I saw the business report, I was happy, our company's business quadrupled in three months, but if you look closely, you idiot actually wrote an extra 0! I hurriedly apologized

Boss, sorry, sorry, it was my negligence, it was my fault! The leader said fiercely: "What the hell are you talking about, why are you so confused?"

I hurriedly apologized: "It's all because I washed my hair in the morning, careless, careless."

2 bananas walk back and forth on the big loss family.

Suddenly the banana in front of the dust years felt very hot. Then he took off his clothes. Guess what, pie open?

The banana in the back fell.

There was a man who looked like an onion, and he cried as he walked.