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Many women are looking for a boyfriend, is looking for a person to rely on, can be when they encounter problems, someone can help solve them together, so that they can make their lives easier, but life is often very different from what we think, when we want to find a capable boyfriend, but we just find a boyfriend who will only hide in case of trouble, instead of thinking about solving the problem, so in the face of such a situation, how to change him?
What causes a boyfriend to behave like this?
In the relationship, I believe that many people have encountered such a situation, the boyfriend will only blindly avoid when encountered, but the woman will not think about solving the problem, so every time she talks bitterly, she talks a lot to her boyfriend, but her boyfriend has not responded, or just perfunctorily responds to "um" and "oh". This situation is actually obvious, to avoid attachment embodiment, and the reason for this, in fact, has a lot to do with his growth experience, some people in the process of growing up, the parents at home are unhappy due to illness, every time they quarrel, and finally divorce, which is likely to lead them not to believe in love, so in the process of treating love, it will be more perfunctory, not too important. In addition, it is also possible that the parents at home are relatively strong, no matter what is the decision for him, and they will come forward to solve problems for him, which leads to his lack of ability to solve problems at all, so he will always use the way of evasion.
So how do you change that?
In fact, many people, in emotional interactions, will want to change each other, in fact, this kind of thinking itself is wrong, everyone is an individual, they have their own thoughts, so want to change each other, this is more difficult to do, it is easy to lead to the breakdown of the relationship, and want to solve this solution, in fact, you can take another way, communication or think about the problem from a different angle. When the other party avoids, we pause the questioning, because at this time, the man may have a lot of emotions in his heart, and these emotions make him unable to calm down, so they need time to think, if the woman blindly asks, it will make them feel more and more irritable, and then escalate to quarrel. After the man calms down for a while, the two parties are calm, find a time to talk again, what is the solution to this problem?
In addition, the woman can be more patient, when a problem occurs, she can slowly guide the other party to say what she thinks in her heart, and how to deal with such a problem, the more she guides the other party to say, the more conducive to communication between the two parties, and the more conducive to solving the problem.
The relationship between men and women is very complicated, because these are two different individuals, colliding with each other, running into each other, once any mistake occurs in the middle, it is easy to lead to the end of the relationship between the two parties, therefore, couples should also give more patience and tolerance in the process of communication.
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If you want to change him, you need to encourage her more, he may just lack a supporter to accompany him, you have to be by his side and encourage him.
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Have a good talk with him and let him realize in his heart that this way of dealing with it is not good.
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I think it should be to ask him why he doesn't want to solve it, let him say what he really thinks in his heart, and solve it fundamentally.
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My boyfriend is silent and doesn't like to communicate and doesn't want to solve problems when he encounters them, so I think as a girl, I should take the initiative to solve the problem, first of all, I should tell my boyfriend how you really feel in your heart, such as the way you don't want him to deal with problems. In particular, you need to be careful not to blame the other person and communicate calmly with the other person. Some people may be accustomed to their own way of dealing with problems and therefore need someone to guide them on how to solve the problem correctly.
Some boys choose to be silent when they encounter problems, they don't like to communicate, and they avoid problems. In this case, as a girl, you should first take the initiative to solve the problem. We can't accumulate problems in our relationships, and we should solve them in time.
Because many problems in the relationship are due to the accumulation of more and more over time, which leads to more and more contradictions between two people, and eventually leads to a breakup. <>
So, what if the girl takes the initiative to solve the problem, if the other party does not cooperate? In fact, the most important thing in this relationship is communication, and even more important than communication is the way of communication. If we feel that there is something wrong with the way the other person is dealing with the problem, we should bring it up in the right way and tell the other person that we are feeling bad at the moment.
The goal is to make some changes so that the other person can take action, rather than running away from the problem over and over again. <>
Some boys are more introverted, or they are silent boys. At this time, we should guide them as the other half and try not to blame them. They often just don't know how to communicate, it's not that they don't want to communicate and communicate.
Therefore, it is better not to blame the other person. Because when we blame the other person, we are actually subtracting points from our feelings. If you want to continue the relationship, you must choose the right way to communicate.
In particular, try not to choose a time when both of them are very annoyed to communicate. It is best to communicate in a quiet environment and in a state of peace. In short, because of the love between each other, many problems can be crossed and solved.
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If you encounter this situation, you should have a good talk with your boyfriend and tell him that two people need to communicate together, and don't run away when you encounter problems, but solve them well, otherwise it will affect the relationship between the two people.
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People take the initiative to communicate with your boyfriend. Be sure to guide him to talk about the problem. Problems can be effectively solved when encountered.
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At this time, you should let your boyfriend speak up and encourage him to go to some public places to speak, so that it will help your relationship.
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I think your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore and he doesn't want you to settle it either, so you should set him free and break up with him right away.
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That can only be more ways to dredge his emotions, communicate more, and make him willing to talk to you more.
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He should be allowed to overcome these problems to solve them, and the problems cannot be solved in a delay, and we must take action.
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Boyfriends don't like to communicate and are mostly introverted, which doesn't mean they don't love you. As for being silent when you quarrel, he is showing weakness to you, saying that he is not willing to quarrel with you, and he actually cares about you. In addition, you may be more aggressive, sharp-toothed, and you will take the top every time you quarrel, leaving no room for the other party, and over time, your boyfriend can only use silence against you.
If you love someone, you must understand him, learn to tolerate in life, and don't use your so-called advantages to suppress each other. Otherwise, it will be difficult to go on for a long time, at least not be happy. First of all, learn to be gentle, gentleness is the nature of women, don't pretend to be Iron Man, no man likes a strong woman.
And you are strong, men can only be forced to be feminine for the sake of the family, resulting in the reversal of yin and yang, and men are becoming more and more silent, and their personalities are becoming more and more introverted. In this way, instead of exploding in silence, you will perish in silence, and the day of divorce is not far off.
If you're the kind of girl who is more anxious and has a little temper, just break up with him, he won't mind, one is not wide, and dragging it is good for both of you. If you are a gentle girl, the quarrel is also because of some issues of principle, you can try to suppress your mood in the quarrel and communicate clearly with him. A boy of our character, the more anxious your temper is, the more you don't want to pay attention to you, and you feel too tired, but if you communicate well, in fact, in his heart, his good impression of you will rise, and this will slowly enter his heart.
Quarrel less, unreasonable trouble again and again will only increase each other's disappointment out of thin air, boys like us care about these very much, if the character is not suitable, no one can save it. In addition: Be kind to introverted boys, they are very simple and kind, if you walk into his heart, it will be there for the rest of your life.
Introversion is a personality type, don't look at it as a character flaw or even a character weakness. An introvert may suffer a little bit in communication, but in fact he will have an advantage in other areas and be more single-minded. Many political leaders, tycoons, celebrities, and even hosts are introverts, but they are very talkative in their work because they are extremely talented, extremely professional, and extremely hard-working.
So as long as you encourage and support him more, and even respect his personality and character, your boyfriend can be just as wonderful as you are, and you will be happier.
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You can communicate with your boyfriend, or you can set up an image for your boyfriend, and tell your boyfriend that I don't like this, and I must find a way to solve problems when I encounter them, which is an escape and is not brave.
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In the future, when you encounter problems and contradictions, you should also remain silent, do not take the initiative to solve them, he can't stand it and will naturally solve it himself.
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I should cultivate his independent personality and tell him that you can be silent but you must have ideas, and you can deal with problems calmly and calmly.
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When you encounter a problem, you should discuss it with your boyfriend, only active communication can solve the problem, if you don't communicate, the two can't continue well.
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You can bring your boyfriend to more parties, and secondly, you should also encourage your boyfriend to make more friends with others, and it will be good after a long time.
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You should encourage your boyfriend to express his opinion and opinion. In this way, the problem will be better solved. Your man will also become better.
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When you get along with your boyfriend, how should you change yourself after realizing the existing problems?
Whether it is a man or a woman at the beginning of the relationship, because of novelty, or because they don't understand each other, they will accommodate each other. However, as the two sides get along for a long time, they will gradually find some problems in the other party, or we can't accept them. Three views are a problem that cannot be ignored in love.
Based on my own superficial cognition, I would like to tell the subject some of my own opinions.
<> first of all, you have to make sure that you and the other person are not really at odds. Most of the time, you just feel that the other person is at odds with you. For example, if you like to listen or read books, and your partner likes to play video games, it's not that they're incompatible, but that their interests are different.
To put it simply, he doesn't oppose, disparage, or belittle what you like; You don't object to what he likes, and you don't think you're pretending or unacceptable. In this case, it is coincidentally rejected by three conflicting views. If he doesn't like something you like, he will object to it or make fun of it.
For example, if you like to read and listen to **, he will think it is useless. He will pretend and even hit you.
As the saying goes: persuade others not to persuade yourself, persuade others not to persuade others. But I tell you from personal experience that people with wrong views will not come together!
When two hailstones first met, they would feel that everything was pleasing to the eye and everything was good, even if there were any quarrels and contradictions, they would be persuaded or coaxed by the other party's kind words and disappear. When you're crazy in love, you'll feel cute when you're in love.
But over time, the relationship between two people will gradually calm down and tend to normalize. At this time, the brain will be very clear, and the questions will be more objective. That's when the real problems in your relationship start to surface.
In my opinion, the economic difference is not the main problem and reason, but the three views are the most important. The three views determine everything, and the three views and disharmony are the root of all contradictions. I don't want to say any more examples, there are too many.
So, while you're not married yet, let's find a personal reason to break up, so that the last two people don't look bored, so that they can get together and disperse. Wishing you happiness.
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I think you should set yourself a detailed goal, write clearly on it, what you should do, correct your shortcomings, and let your boyfriend supervise you.
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You should learn more about getting along with your boyfriend, and you can also apologize to your boyfriend, and your attitude must be sincere.
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Reflect on what you did, apologize to your boyfriend, get forgiveness, and get on.
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Break up with him, because he has been perfunctory to your words, which means that he has no you in his heart at all, even if the two of them get married in the end, they will not be happy after marriage.
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At this time, you should have a good talk with him, there is a problem that cannot be solved by avoidance, so now what you need is communication, you have to be clear about what your boyfriend thinks, so that you can better solve the problem.
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If you can talk, if you can't talk, try to get rid of it, don't even solve the problem at all, how to solve the future, perfunctory is not the solution.
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I think if we encounter such a situation, we should sit down and talk about it, after all, the impact of this matter will be very serious, and it will also bring a bad impact on ourselves, and it will make us feel bad and feel bad.
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