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If parents have high expectations, it will bring a lot of pressure to the child, and if the pressure is not relieved, it will cause a great shadow on the child's psychology, and even depression and suicide.
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It will definitely crush the child, hoping that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix is the expectation of every parent, but all expectations should be dominated by the child's will and ability, and the child's health and happiness are more important than anything else.
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Personally, I think this is the case, because parents will forcibly impose their own ideas on their children, and many times it will put a lot of pressure on children, which is not conducive to the growth of children, and will crush children.
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Children will be crushed by the thinking of their parents, and parents always worry a lot about their children, and want their children to do well in it, so they are miserable and not proud in their hearts.
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Yes, because the child's heart is sensitive and fragile, if the parents are strict with the child, it will cause the child to have psychological problems.
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The influence of parents' high expectations for their children is first and foremost psychologically stressful for children. In homeschooling, the high expectations of parents often cause a lot of psychological pressure on children. Under the influence of their own expectations, parents will constantly urge their children to do things and work hard.
Some children will relieve their inner pressure if they adjust well, and some children will go astray if they don't adjust well. Once they reach puberty, they will develop a strong rebellious mentality, and the parent-child relationship will also face a crisis.
Let the child have no thoughts of his own. The most important thing for a person is to have their own ideas, to have their own ideas about everything. If parents expect too much from their children in their homeschooling, the child is likely to lose his inner thoughts and not know what to do.
When parents fail with high expectations of their children, they can have a lot of disappointment. Whether it is expressed or not, it will greatly affect the child's self-esteem.
Make your child tired of school. Parents' expectations of their children may also encourage parents to give their children a lot of homeschooling tasks and a lot of pressure to a certain extent. Especially in learning, this makes parents' expectations of their children the root cause of children's boredom in school.
Anyone who is faced with a heavy study task is sure to have some boredom. After a long time, there will be resistance to learning.
German educator Desdol said: "We should take into account the differences in children's natural nature and promote unique development." We can't and shouldn't make everyone exactly the same and teach them exactly the same things.
Instead of looking at children with a critical eye, it is better to learn to appreciate children and discover their shining points.
Cai Kangyong once said a sentence that is still fresh in his memory. He said: What is the most precious thing that parents have for their children?
It is to give him an ideal environment, let him be himself, not be what we want him to be, and this is the best reward for us for coming to this society. Perhaps, creating a healthy and happy environment for children is more important than what kind of person they become.
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Depression, psychological problems, counterproductive, etc. Expectations are too high, because the child is still young, can not bear too much pressure, causing anxiety, irritability.
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Parents' expectations are too high, which will bring pressure to children that cannot be ignored, and children may lose confidence in themselves and even lose hope of survival because they do not meet their parents' expectations once. Parents' expectations of their children should be moderately adjusted according to their children's abilities, and if the expectations are too high, not only will not make the child progress, but may harm the child.
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It will make the child feel a lot of pressure, and if the pressure is high, he will feel unhappy, and I suggest that parents do not put too much pressure on their children, and spend more time with their children to give them a happy childhood.
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The higher the parents' expectations for their children, the greater the pressure on their children, and if the children do not meet their expectations, parents will also criticize the children, which is not conducive to the harmony between parents and children.
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CauseJackie Chan is a tradition in our country.
Chinese are very concerned about inheritance, and always want to leave something for their children, because they feel that the next generation will live better than themselves. There is a saying that the back waves of the Yangtze River push the front waves, and the generation is stronger than the generation. Most people will believe that their child is a genius, so they have a lot of hope for him.
And the Chinese also believe that tomorrow will be better, so they always believe that the generation of children can be better. In addition, today's parents did not receive much education when they were young, which has also become a regret in their lives, when children have the conditions for such education, they will hope that they can learn more things, so as to change their lives.
There is a saying that the shoulders of parents are the starting point of children, in fact, most parents know this truth, but they are more willing to believe that their children can become extraordinary. I once read a survey and asked, if the parents of the chicken baby become an ordinary person in the future, will they regret it?
I don't think most parents will regret it, because they have made their children work hard, so they put their hopes on their children, not because they think their children are excellent, but because they feel that their children can get better resources and naturally get a better life.
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The reason why some parents expect too much from their children: because it is normal for parents to have too high expectations for their children, both before and now.
The key to the problem is not whether the expectation is high or not, but how to accept the reality in the process of children's growth. Adjust these expectations on the fly. Parents must be objective in shaping their children.
The luxury of blindly following the trend can only ruin the child. So I think there's nothing wrong with having higher expectations for your child, the key is to be down-to-earth and nurture him well.
It is not that parents now have higher expectations for their children, but that parents over the years are full of expectations for their children. In ancient times, it was expected that Jackie Chan would be a dragon. In addition, the pressure of social competition is huge, when other people's children are running, your children are still crawling, which is actually an evasion of responsibility for children.
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Every parent will hope that their son will become a dragon, and their expectations for their children are particularly high, which shows that parents do not want their children to be like themselves anymore, let their children have higher achievements, and also want their children to live a better life.
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The reason is very simple, I want to make my child better. The idea of hoping that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix makes parents pin their expectations on the next generation, but the next generation also has their own thoughts and pursuits, so this expectation may not be realized.
1.The parents' generation has suffered from life, so they don't want their children to suffer. Therefore, the expectations for the child are very high since childhood, let him study hard, even if the child does not want to learn, he will be forced to learn, but ignore that the child also has his own thoughts, so the more some children force him to learn, the more he can't learn well.
So this expectation can be exchanged for disappointment.
2.Parents are paying more and more attention to their children's future. In order to enable children to change their destiny with knowledge, more and more attention is paid to education, such as enrolling in various cram schools and interest classes.
I want my child to gain more knowledge. But I forgot that the child's absorption capacity is limited, and there are too many interest classes to enroll, and it may not be able to learn all of them. At the same time, it also makes the child feel very stressed and has a kind of disgust with school.
So it doesn't necessarily help your child's future.
3.Anxiety on the part of parents. Seeing that the child is not studying well, I will feel anxious when I think of his future, wishing that he would learn all the knowledge, but ignoring that he is still a child and needs to be guided slowly, not by pulling out the seedlings to help him.
And pulling out the seedlings to help them grow, it will not help the children, but will harm the children.
In short, the reason why parents place their expectations on the next generation is because they have suffered from life and hope that their children will not have the same experience, plus their own anxiety and comparison. That's why we expect more from our children. And if this expectation is too high, it will not always be realized.
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Your wishes have not been fulfilled, and your expectations have been too high in your child.
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It is very common for parents to place their expectations on their children. Every parent hopes that their children will become dragons and daughters will become phoenixes. It is also a worry about the child's future, hoping to lead the child to a field that he is familiar with.
Parents have no expectations and requirements for their children, and they can't guide their children. But the problem is that many parents don't have much to expect from their children. I don't know if my expectations are reasonable.
And the child because of the problem of the right to speak. There is no way to argue with the unreasonable expectations of parents, especially the more well-behaved children are. Some children will continue to fulfill their parents' wishes, even their parents' unreasonable expectations.
It is not completely impossible to let your child continue your expectations, what you do not meet is likely to be missing in his growth process, after all, there are similarities in heredity. Therefore, the method is very important, whether it is indoctrination, guidance, or experience, so that your child agrees with your expectations in their hearts.
In fact, parents only need to do their own things, and the future development of their children depends on their efforts. I don't want to put too much pressure on my child, and I don't want him to be burdened with it, and live for the sake of his parents' hopes. Jing Dayin, like this, both parents and children are unhappy in their lives.
After all, the child is an independent individual, and he has his own ideas. It is impossible to do everything according to the requirements of the parents, and it is impossible to satisfy the parents in everything. The result of the parents' dissatisfaction is that they are constantly beating, scolding, and scolding, which makes the psychological burden of the child even heavier.
Don't put all the pursuit of your life on your children, this is the beginning of stress and tragedy. Children need guidance and advice, but absolute authority cannot be used to limit children's personal pursuits.
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Parents have too high expectations, and they must have the power of the sedan chair to their children, and the pressure is normal and harmful.
When you are young, it is easy for children to have an inferiority complex, and when you grow up, it is easier for children to rebel.
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The higher the parents' expectations, the more stressed the child will be, and the more stressed the child will have various negative effects, such as low self-esteem, sensitivity, insecurity, and so on.
As a parent, it is normal to have expectations for your children, so what is called high expectations? And what does expectation refer to? For children, different stages have different growth processes and methods suitable for his growth, so if for the child's three views, we, as parents, should have high expectations for him.
Then if it is for other aspects of the child, such as: learning. I think it is necessary to look at the problem of learning correctly, you can think about what learning is, we ask our children to learn at the same time, we as parents have to learn about the knowledge of parents, if parents have exams, how many points can we score?
Children are not born to let us compare with other people's children, I think this question is a question that every parent should reflect on, will we really be parents? Do we really know what children need at different stages of development?
Secondly, as parents, we should respect the child's growth process, respect the child's nature, and avoid anxiety. Now we are all too anxious, think about our era or even earlier, children's childhood, more of a return to nature, the invisible harvest will be more, and the most important thing. And now due to the anxiety of parents, children from birth to force children to learn all things, not to say that learning these things is bad, but the child is very small, he does not have an adult way of thinking, he does not understand why he should learn these things since he was a child, at this time he is in a completely passive state, learning knowledge is secondary, mainly from an early age to curb the development of children's ability and thinking in all aspects, which is why more and more teenagers are addicted to games, addicted to electronic products, One of the reasons why it became very cold.
Finally, I hope that every parent will reflect on whether we are really helping children grow, or are we helping them grow? The role of the relationship and mutual, in the early stage of our way is not correct, there will be problems in the later stage, such as the child's emotional problems, which is also distressed by many parents, and for example, the child is tired of school, immature mind, and finally jumps off the building, etc., are the final results.
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This high expectation of parents will make the child's heart become very stressed, the child will become very painful inside, and he will not know what to do, and he will feel a special kind of fear and panic in his heart.
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It will put a lot of pressure on the child, it will make the child feel very hard, and it is not conducive to the child's character growth, and the child is likely to become very introverted.
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