Ask for 07ghost s joke 5

A couple of lovers in the park are sweet. The girl coquettishly said, "I have a headache.

The boy then kissed the girl on the forehead and asked, "Does your head still hurt?" The girl said

It doesn't hurt anymore" After a while, the girl coquettishly said, "My neck hurts." The boy kissed the girl's neck again and asked

Does it still hurt? The girl was very happy and said, "It doesn't hurt!"

An old lady next to her stood and watched for a long time, and couldn't help but step forward and ask, "Young man, you are too godly!" Can you cure beriberi? ”

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, please sausage and pickle!" ”

Translation: Now the mayor of the township is invited to speak! ）

Translation: Don't speak, I'll tell you a story A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails!" Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! ”

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, it's time for the meeting!! The coach said, "The first class kills chickens, the second class steals eggs, and I'll make porridge for you." ”

Translation: The first shift shoots, the second shift throws bombs, and I'll demonstrate to you. A foreign girl who married into China was instructed at breakfast, who couldn't eat fritters, "You dip and eat." ”

She immediately stood up and was told again, "You dip and eat!" ”

She was confused and said aggrievedly: "Let me eat standing up, I've stood up, where else are I going to stand?" ”

Some people like the dish of "spicy vermicelli pot". Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out.

Is it really sold out? He asked disappointedly. "Sir, it's really sold out.

The gentleman's meal has been almost eaten, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man felt that the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he walked up to the gentleman, pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot", and asked politely, "Sir, do you still want this?"

The gentleman shook his head graciously. So the man sat down at once, picked up the spoon, and devoured it. After a while, he found a small mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole, but with all its fur grown.

In a flurry of nausea, the man vomited all the vermicelli he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was there with a tumbling stomach, the gentleman looked at him with sympathy and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?"

That's what I ...... just now”

The couple went on a trip, but on the way they felt that the scenic area was quite boring. The husband said: Wife, this is too boring, we want to have something fun, right? Wife: I also don't think this scenic spot is fun, so what are we going to do?

Husband: Do you love me?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: Okay, in order to prove that we love each other, let's eat each other's, wife: Eat that??? Good.. bar.

The two of them went to a hidden place, ten minutes later.

My wife was very angry and said: You don't love me.

Husband: Where? I've eaten all of what you've pulled.

Wife: Then why are you pulling such a big lump?

Eat and sleep.

The boss said to his wife, "Eat and sleep." Say to the junior, "Eat, eat, sleep, sleep." He said to the secretary, "Eat, sleep." Say to the employee, "What you eat, what you sleep, all give me overtime!!

Journalists are also neurotic.

One day, a reporter asked the director of a neurological hospital, "Dean, how do you test the patients with neuropathy to get better?" The dean said, "Give you a bathtub of water, a spoonful of spoons and a rice bowl, and you can get rid of the water in it as quickly as possible." The reporter said, "Of course, I scoop the water out of the rice bowl!"

Then the dean looked at the reporter and said, "You also have a nervous disorder!! Our neurological hospital is packed with food and accommodation, do you want to come? Then the reporter asked with a puzzled face, "Dean!"

Am I at fault? Normal people use rice bowls to scoop out water! Do you want to use a spoon???

The dean smiled at the reporter and said, "Hehe, you're not normal, normal people will pull the plug off, hehehe!!

Through this incident, it can be proved that the journalist also has a nervous disorder.

1. I met a foreigner that day and asked me, "Do you really have kung fu?" Are Chinese all practicing flowers? ”

I said: "Of course, don't mention internal force, dark weapons, etc., the deepest one in kung fu is called a point, and Chinese even primary school students can do it." ”

The foreigner shook his head in doubt, so I immediately practiced a few hands to show him: rubbing the sky should learn, squeezing the eye acupoints, rubbing the four white acupoints, and scraping the eye sockets according to the temple chakra.

The foreigner admired it on the spot.

2, A: "Depressed, the blind date failed again, and the conversation was very good." Later, the woman said that she wanted a house of 500,000 yuan and a car of 50,000 yuan for marriage, and I said that the house was okay, but the car was not, so I blew it.

B: "So expensive house can afford a car?" ”

A: "Can the car afford to use gas?"

3. The two neighbors on the plane were chatting: "Boxing is a great sport!" I love the sport, I just make a living by boxing, and I'm making a lot of money this year."

So, you're a famous boxer? ”

No, no, I'm a dentist".

4. Excerpt from the robbery diary:

Yesterday I went to steal a Santana, and at night the four wheels and steering wheel were gone, and now there are so many bad guys.

Today I made full preparations, went to the bank, there were two couples quarreling, it sounded, nothing more than who got into whose bed, I was tired of watching it. Yell: Robbery ......The salesman said, "Go while it's cool." I couldn't stand it, so I came out.

1. My father drank too much and fell asleep when he got home. After sleeping for a while, he suddenly sat up and muttered, "Water, water!" ”

The son poured a bowl of water for his father, who took it and drank it all, then grabbed a few handfuls on the wall and fell asleep.

After some time, the father got up again and cried for water, and the son poured another bowl of water, and the father drank it and scratched it at the wall.

The son wondered why his father was like this, so he poured a bowl of water and drank it all in his father's way, but unexpectedly, he also grabbed it on the wall and scolded in his mouth: "It's so hot! ”

2. A rich woman was so proud of her possession of a precious antique that she wanted to paint her bedroom the same color as a vase. Several painters tried to bring out the undertone, but none of them could please the quirky rich woman.

Finally, a painter came. He's very confident that he can make that color. The woman was so pleased with his work that the painter became famous.

Years later, he retired and the business was handed over to his son. "Dad," said the son, "I have to figure out one thing, how do you make the color of the wall match the vase so well?" ”

My father said, "I painted the vase. ”

3. "Today I saw a guy beating up a woman. ”

Did you stop it? ”

Yes, I ran up and told him: It's not a hero to beat a woman, why don't you beat a man? ”

What happened? ”

Afterward. Afterward. I don't know anything. ”

4. Someone participated in the God of Food competition, swallowed a chicken, 9 hamburgers, and a large apple pie, and finally won the championship.

Before, he said to others, "Don't tell my wife, or I won't be able to eat lunch." ”

Last time, when I talked to my mother, I wanted to say that I would not regret it, but I can rest assured, I will definitely regret it...

One day at dinner, the wife said to her husband:

When we first got married, you always picked the small pieces of barbecue and kept the big ones for me.

But now, you always pick the big ones and leave the small ones to me.

Don't you love me as much as you used to? ”

"Nonsense," said the husband, "my dear, I still love you so much, except that the barbecue you make now is better than before." ”