How do you look at your own problems from the perspective of those who stand next to you?

In many cases, it is the authorities who are fascinated and the bystanders are clear.

In fact, we can look at this matter from the outside of this mind.

We can assume, hypothesize: we put ourselves in each other's shoes, look at what my character will, think that what I am doing is right or wrong.

This is called empathy. If it was the other party, his character, his tone, his style of doing things, what would he do about it?

In this way, we can deduce how we look at this matter from another angle.

I think it's going to be very difficult if you want to do this thing, because you can't completely ignore your own feelings, everybody is selfish, and this situation may be different for everyone, and some people may be a little bit very kind of but if you want to completely ignore your personal feelings, I don't think it's at all.

Sometimes we don't know right or wrong when we look at our own problems, but if we put it on someone else, we will judge him. If you want to see your own problems from the perspective of a bystander, you can put what happened to you on someone else, and judge them by your own eyes whether they are right or wrong.

When we encounter problems, we must enlarge our own pattern, not be a frog at the bottom of the well, and have the courage to jump out of the problem and analyze our own problems from the perspective of a bystander. You can think about how other people have problems similar to yours have solved them. Only then will you continue to improve and improve your problem-solving skills.

When we encounter any problems ourselves, I hope that we just don't have such a narrow vision, that is, we don't just look at the bystanders from our own point of view, maybe we will see more clearly, and then we can find our own problems, and then we must learn to empathize.

Use reflection to train yourself in the habit of watching yourself. Reflection is a very simple way to watch yourself think, and developing the habit of reflection can make you very calm when dealing with things. Spend about 10 minutes a day reflecting on your thoughts and the results of your thinking.

Wonder where your ideas come from? Are there any other possible outcomes for thinking? What influences you?

What factors make sense?

This is simple empathy, sometimes we need some empathy, put ourselves in the perspective of others to find the problem. If you want to empathize, imagine yourself as someone else, if you were him, how would you deal with such a problem? How to react?

That's how empathy works.

When you do anything, you can empathize with others, if it were someone else, how would someone else solve this problem? What would you think of him doing this? There should be more empathy in life, so that you will find your own shortcomings to make up for them.

In this way, the people around you will like you more and more.

1. Talking about what the other person needs and making suggestions is the only way in the world to influence others.

2. When you are trying to persuade someone to do something, you may want to ask yourself before you speak: "What can I do to make him feel the need to do it?" "A well-thought-out decision can prevent us from being able to say what we want in front of others and not be able to achieve our goals.

3. Being able to stand in the other person's position and consider things from the other party's point of view, as if you think for yourself, is the secret of success. You don't have to plan too much for your future, but you will get more benefits.

4. Always put yourself in someone else's position to think about things, know the wishes and goals of others, and make decisions based on this. If you really learn this, it will change your career and life for the rest of your life.

5. Stimulate the urgent needs of the other party, so that everything can go much smoother and will not encounter great difficulties.

6. The greatest desire in human nature is to show oneself.

Supplement] 1. Extreme altruism.

2. To achieve others is to achieve oneself.

Yesterday, I heard from my mother that the tenant of the condiment had moved all the goods and would not continue to rent it when it expired, but why didn't she move out directly without discussing it with me.

Thinking about it later, he mentioned the rent to me last year, and I thought the rent was not high at that time, so it didn't change, and he didn't say anything at the time. Just paid the rent, Xiao Wu is not the kind of person who bargains, and I am used to bargaining with others, thinking that if others say it again, I will definitely reduce it for him, but he didn't say it.

Later, he wanted to change the bungalow to an empty house, but a friend said that he wanted to rent it but did not agree.

Xiao Wu may have a pimple in his heart, so he moved out directly this year.

I kept thinking about this yesterday and felt that there were a lot of things wrong with what I was doing.

I didn't think about the problem from the other side's point of view, and I wanted to reduce the rent this year. But this was just a decision in my own heart, and I didn't explain it to the tenant, but because the other party mentioned it to me last year, I didn't agree, so he didn't mention it anymore. I just moved away.

Actually, I was going to cut the price this year. But I didn't stand in the other party's point of view, I didn't discuss with him in advance, and I thought that he would still ask me to bargain, but Xiao Wu was not such a person.

This caused losses to both parties, and it was not easy for him to move things, and it took a lot of effort. I'm definitely going to have to sit vacant for a while.

Just like before my relatives asked me to transfer funds to his son's engagement as a dowry turnover, I didn't think about the other party's point of view, thinking that it is so convenient to remit money now, so I was ready to send them a day earlier, when the relative said that he had already withdrawn the money in the bank with a regular pledge, it was because I did not remit money a few days in advance, during this period he must be very uneasy, because the money is not in his hands, he must be uneasy, he will be worried about the time in case something happens, (the bank can not mention the large amount, etc.), If he didn't have a bride price on the day of his engagement, it would be a joke.

So I'll find another way myself. However, I didn't think about it at all, thinking that it would be okay a day earlier, and I didn't think about the problem from their point of view. Do them give them peace of mind.

I want to rent a house this time the same thing, I want to reduce the house price for Xiao Wu this time, but I didn't tell him, of course he has a new plan in his heart.

I found that I was just thinking about myself, not communicating well with the other person and thinking from someone else's point of view.

Through this incident, in life, we should remind ourselves that when interacting with people, whether it is family, friends, or business partners, we must cultivate our ability to think from the perspective of others.

That's what I say a lot.

First of all, don't demand from others about your own lifestyle. Because everyone has a different situation and a different personality. What you think is right and appropriate is not necessarily appropriate for others. Especially some people, who don't understand the situation, ask others from their own point of view, which will really be disliked.

Secondly, if you really feel that you are right, good, you can't hold back your enthusiasm and are eager to recommend it to others. Then you also have to pay attention to the method, to see who you are facing, whether he can accept it, and also to consider the timing. If you recommend it to the wrong person on an inappropriate occasion or at an inappropriate time, do you say that you lack cultivation?

Not demanding one's own way of life from others is a kind of wisdom and a kind of cultivation. It shows that we know how to respect and understand others, and stop in moderation. "Asking others in an unaware situation" is rigid, lacks language arts, and needs to be improved.

And it takes time. It is often said that you can influence others, but don't try to change them, and that's exactly what it means. You say what you think, and others may not feel it at the time, but as time goes by, maybe one day, he suddenly agrees.

So change takes time. Don't change others rashly, be sure to stop in moderation.

As the old saying goes, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Thinking about it from the perspective of others is a kind of realm and a kind of kindness.

An old man went to the store, and the young lady who walked in front pushed open the heavy door and waited until he was inside. The old man thanked her, and the lady said, "My father is about the same age as yours, and I hope that at such times someone will open the door for him." ”

No one is an island, we are connected to each other, we are a close community. Life is an echo, and what sound you make, you will receive.

If you pay kindness, you will reap kindness; Only by warming others will you reap warmth. When others are in need, you can help, and when you need them in the future, others will also lend a hand. Everyone is a light that illuminates others and warms themselves.

Everyone has their own position, and many times we only see our own situation, so we think that the world we see is also the situation that others are facing. Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean things don't exist. Therefore, try to empathize with others in order to have more understanding and understanding of others.

Tolerance comes from understanding, and understanding comes from empathy, which is the lubricant for harmonious relationships between people. If we can all change our perspective and understand others a little more, then there will be fewer quarrels and contradictions, and the world will definitely be a better place.

Everyone has a different soul and a different imprint. Human beings are inherently jealous.

Many people in the surrounding circle seem to be living very comfortably. In fact, they have all experienced the experiences that life has given them. So they are very comfortable with everything that happens in their lives.

Sometimes experiences aren't a bad thing, so let's not look at others from our own perspective. I always wonder why he is so indifferent to something, and why he doesn't reach out to help, etc., but afterwards, when you know what he has experienced in his work, you think that he should be like this.

Teacher Ma Weidu's words are particularly like: "You don't just recognize this society, you also have to recognize this society." You can work with people you hate, and you laugh and talk about talent." So don't look at anyone or anything from your own perspective.

This requires us to read life experience, which is an intangible wealth; When the realm is improved, it is also a very joyful life experience process when you can deal with problems calmly.