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Economic development has not only improved the living conditions of peasants, but also changed their traditional concepts. In the past, young people in rural areas went to work in the fields or went out to work, leaving their children with the elderly at home. It's normal, it's common, it's like this in every household.
It is said that it is reasonable for the elderly to take care of children, but now more and more elderly people are unwilling to help children take care of children. What is the reason?
The old man brought his children to "raise the poor", but the daughter-in-law didn't like it.
In the past, farmers could not afford to raise their children due to limited conditions. Although the food and clothes were not particularly good, it was still up to the need. But in the eyes of the daughter-in-law, these have become a manifestation of the old man's stinginess, and she will feel that the old man is unwilling to pay for the child.
Therefore, the two generations have different concepts, and the way of raising children will naturally be different. If the old man continues to be poor, it is easy to have conflicts with his daughter-in-law.
The child is too naughty, in poor health, and afraid that he will not be able to stand it.
As the saying goes, "newborn calves are not afraid of tigers", I believe that every friend who grew up in the countryside has a deep understanding and was very naughty when he was a child. But the old man is getting older, and his physique is definitely not as good as before. Like the younger grandparents, they are all approaching 60 years old.
This age is a watershed moment when a significant decline is felt once they reach physical strength or resistance. For naughty children, the elderly may not be optimistic. If something happens to the child, the elderly will feel very guilty.
Children don't know how to be grateful, and the elderly don't please.
This is also common in rural areas. Some families take good care of their children, and their children do not say that they will give more living expenses or buy something for the elderly, and they do not even have the least sense of gratitude. But if the child is sick or has a minor injury under the care of the elderly, the child will magnify this infinitely.
The old man is already blaming himself, and the child is still blaming himself. How can it not be chilling?
The child does not fulfill the maintenance obligation.
There are many people in rural areas, and some "white-eyed wolves" do not support their parents when they are old. Because of this, many elderly people will use their physical strength and ability to do odd jobs outside to earn some pension money for themselves. However, it is estimated that it is difficult for them to help their children with their children.
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Maybe it's because they feel that this is very tiring, and they also want to live a happier life
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Because children are disobedient, their parents are not around, and they always feel that they are not as good as their parents to educate their children, so they will shirk their responsibilities to educate their children.
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It may be because these old people are becoming more and more independent, and they may prefer to go to work and earn money on their own than to take care of children.
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In rural areas, it was found that people in their fifties and sixties were increasingly reluctant to take care of their children. Why? Many elderly people say that it is better to live separately from their children. Why do they think this way? Logically speaking, isn't it a good thing for a family to be together?
Rural elderly people live in rural areas all year round. Farm work in the fields is a daily part of their daily routine. They raise chickens and ducks and eat their own fruits and vegetables.
They are natural and fresh, and the neighbors are simple and kind. Compared to the city, the pace of life is slow, and they live freely and comfortably. If you go to the city with your children, many elderly people say that they are not willing to live in the city if they are not with children.
For people who are not used to city life and stay upstairs every day, it is really urgent. The neighbors in the city have been together for many years, and some can't even call each other by name. It's normal for people in the city, but for people who have lived in the countryside for a long time, they don't feel human at all.
From this point of view, rural people still feel that the countryside is good.
When you enter the city and live with your children all day, you will face all kinds of problems. For example, their children are all intellectuals, highly educated people, and there is a generation gap between their outlook on life and the elderly in rural areas. If the elderly in rural areas bring their children to the city for a long time, it will inevitably lead to conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
If it is not reconciled in time, it will become a household chore. People say that it is difficult for a clean official to cut off family affairs, and it is still messy. This is also a headache for many families.
Giving children to children affects their own earning money. Considering their future pension problems, many rural elderly people said, is it difficult for the elderly? I have worked hard for this family for most of my life, raising my children to go to college, and then marrying them off, helping him buy a car and a house, and almost squeezing out the family's savings.
Now that I'm old, help the kids with the kids. And some daughters-in-law complained that they didn't take good care of their children, and it was okay to meet a reasonable child. If they meet someone who doesn't know how to be grateful, life is really aggrieved.
So many old people see this fact clearly.
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Because these old people don't want to work hard for a lifetime, and they want to have a comfortable and quiet environment when they retire, maybe this is what the elderly think now.
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The main reason is that today's children are more pampered, and the way of raising children is different from that of young people in their fifties and sixties.
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This is because there are many conflicts, many elderly people prefer to live a simple life on their own, and if you bring small children, all kinds of conflicts can occur.
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If the elderly are willing, of course, they should let the elderly take care of their children, because only their own parents will reassure their children.
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No, because the old man will spoil the child, the old man's love for the child is a kind of doting, many young people have no choice, the work is too busy, can only be led by the old man.
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No, because many elderly people with children is very detrimental to the growth of children, these old people will only spoil children, and some living habits are also different, which will affect their children.
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If the parents themselves are short-sighted and more feudal-minded, they should not let the children of the elderly.
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The elderly should not be allowed to take care of their children, because parents from rural areas are very different from young people in terms of ideology, culture and living habits, and their parenting concepts are different from those of young people, so they cannot let the elderly take care of their children.
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The elderly have worked hard all their lives, and when they enter their old age, they are facing an important major event, which is the problem of providing for the elderly.
For families with many children, it is not difficult to provide for the elderly, for the sake of fairness, taking turns to provide for the elderly, it seems to have become a natural thing for children to default to, each family has its own strength, and no one suffers.
However, in real life, taking turns to provide for the elderly is not as beautiful as imagined, but has become an excuse for children to shirk the responsibility of support, the elderly live a difficult life among their children, and the 60-year-old man told the truth, which is sad.
What should people in their sixties do when their children are unwilling to provide for themselves?
Children take turns to provide for the elderly, and the opinions of the elderly should be respected.
1.Fix the family to provide for the elderly, and other children provide material help.
If the elderly are closer to one of their children and live in harmony, then the elderly can be fixed in this family, so as to avoid the psychological damage caused by the frequent change of places by the elderly.
After all, it is not easy for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along, and differences in living habits and food culture may cause conflicts between the elderly and young people. Other children can pay alimony every month, so that the elderly do not have to worry about the economy and live comfortably.
2.Respect the wishes of the elderly, and do not force them to take turns to provide for the elderly.
It is not easy for the elderly to be nostalgic and integrate into the lives of young people, but taking turns to care for the elderly may not be the most preferred way for the elderly. Regardless of whether the elderly want to live with their children or live separately, as children, we must first consider the wishes of the elderly, and do not force the elderly to do what they want.
3.Don't interfere too much in the lives of the elderly, and care more about the elderly.
The elderly have their own unique way of life, and the young people are the same, so it is very wrong not to let the old people live with themselves, but to make the old people's living habits and rhythms the same as those of young people.
Young people should allow the elderly to have their own ideas, live their lives in their own way, and have time to accompany the elderly, but not interfere too much in the lives of the elderly.
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It should be brought to court, and it is the duty of the children to support the elderly, and the court will give you a fair judgment.
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People in their sixties, when their children are unwilling to provide for themselves, can try to save a sum of money by themselves, and go to a nursing home when they can no longer take care of themselves.
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Let's talk to them first, and if they still don't want to, then they can only take legal measures.
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The elderly who do not help their children with their children when they are young usually face a helpless life in their later years, because the relationship with their children will be weaker the more they go, and the relationship between them and their children will become alienated if they do not help with their children.
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When they were young, the elderly who did not help their children take care of their children, and when they got old, because they did not have a deep relationship with their children, although they had money, they were emotionally lacking.
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Usually they will face a particularly lonely life, because the children of the elderly will have certain opinions about the elderly, so there will be little time with the elderly.
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How to live when you are young, and how to live in your old age. It is not easy for the old man to bring up his children with hard work, and he has no obligation to help his children take care of the baby.
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Such elderly people should usually face a very lonely life in their later years, because the relationship with their children is not very good.
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In their later years, these children are reluctant to get close to the elderly, because they have no affection for each other, and they are easy to be left out in the cold, and the children will also be very calculating, often talking about this matter, and the family relationship is not very harmonious.
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After all, the elderly can not help their children take care of the baby, but the children cannot be unfilial.
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For such an old man, in his old age, his grandson will not come to take care of him, it can be said that he is very lonely, and there is no family affection at all. In general, life in old age is particularly hard. At the same time, there is a lack of love.
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The elderly who do not help their children take care of their children, are they happy or miserable in their old age? Let's learn from it.
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We often say that farmers are one of the hardest working groups in the world. Although there is less and less land for farming in rural areas, for these elderly farmers, there is still no way to stop and rest, but to continue to work hard. In the case of farming without making money, they can only choose to enter the city, looking for some opportunities to fight for wages to support themselves and even subsidize their families.
Many people may ask, why do people over 60 years old in rural areas go out to work? In fact, at the end of the day, it's a thing that can't be helped.
First, the elderly have to earn their own pension money
China's aging problem is becoming more and more serious, and there may be some differences between the pension in rural areas and the pension in the city. Although the state has implemented the rural pension insurance system, for the vast majority of people, this rural pension can still only be used as a supplement, not as the main way to provide for the elderly. In the traditional concept of the Chinese people, raising children to prevent old age is the ultimate way.
However, although the standard of living is improving, the social pressure is also growing. Many young people struggle to support their own families, let alone provide a comfortable old age for the elderly.
Second, the elderly should save money for their children
As the saying goes, raising children is the only way to know the kindness of their parents. When we have children, we always want to keep the best for our children. And for our parents, they have the same idea.
Although rural parents don't have much culture and can't say much truth, they pay silently, always thinking about saving more money for their children, hoping that they will not become a burden to their children, and hope that they can provide their children with a little help within their ability.
Third, the elderly have to take care of the expenses of the old family
We all know that many young and middle-aged people in rural areas now go to the city to work hard, and some of them settle down in the city and do not return to their rural hometowns all year round. At present, the cost of favors and gifts in rural areas is very high, and it is normal for a family to spend 10,000 yuan or 20,000 yuan a year. Therefore, the elderly have to go out to work in order to maintain the basic living expenses of the family.
SectionFourth, the habit of the old man who cannot be idle in his life
Many elderly people have worked hard and diligently on the land all their lives, and have developed the most industrious habits, and this habit is not idle. Nowadays, the children of many families are willing to take their parents to the city and live with them, hoping to give their parents better care. However, many old people are not idle.
Staying at home all day is more likely to lose control of your emotions, be short-tempered and even get sick. Letting him go out and find an easier job can relieve this tension and depression, and can make them feel better.
In short, for the elderly over 60 years old in rural areas, they still have to go out to work, most of the reason is because they are forced to work hard to earn money to subsidize their families.
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I have children, but because my family situation is not good, I can only go out to work.
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It is precisely because I have children that I want to share some of the burden for my children, so I go out to work.
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In today's era, farmers in their 50s are in the most awkward position, with elderly people in their seventies and eighties to take care of, and children who are unable to be financially independent. Therefore, they can only work hard outside like young people.
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