What should I do if I have a mother who is prone to self blame?

I think I need to understand her better. But love yourself too.

I have the same situation. My mother would often tell me about the hardships of life, how difficult it was for her, how sorry my father was for her, how unfortunate my brother was, how my uncle didn't treat her as a sister, and my aunt was sorry for her. Although she is telling the truth, it is true that life is very hard and hard, but it is really not good for children to listen to this kind of talk too much.

Every time I hear this kind of words, I feel that my mother lives so hard, and I can't do anything, and I feel that I am worthless. There was even a time when I avoided talking to my mom. Because she didn't want to listen to her repeat it over and over again, the hardships of her life.

But many times I feel sorry for her. <>

I feel like in this situation, Mom just wants to whine at you and doesn't want you to do anything. It's just a trash can that pours out bitter water. Maybe at the end of her conversation, she has to add a sentence, you must fight for anger, and we will not rely on anyone in the future.

I say this just to comfort myself and tell myself that there is still hope in life. It's not that your current situation is not good and dislikes you, so you can fight hard!

I don't think mothers should tell their children about the stresses of life. For there is no other use than to condemn ourselves. And as children, we also need to learn to understand mothers.

Because life is really stressful. We want to go out into society and will not understand. We don't need to have a sense of self-blame, we just need to do our best and work hard.

But when your mother confides in you, you must not show disgust. Or many times your expression of self-reproach will be misinterpreted by her as not wanting to hear her. No one is anyone's appendage. Everyone has to live for themselves.

The death of your mother has had a very big impact on you, and you can't even come out and continue your normal life, in fact, have you ever thought about it? Does your mother want you to do that? It's a terrible thing to get caught up in self-blame, because it can cause you to lose sight of the road ahead.

Your mistake now has been made. You're going to take it as a lesson. Then you have to be kind to your father.

Judging from your statement, your father is still in good health, so the most important thing for you now is to let your father live in peace, and you have to take her over and not cause this situation like your mother again. This is the best way to do this, rather than to blame yourself, which is inevitable, but you have to try to remedy it. At least be able to use your filial piety on your socks and father.

Make up for your lack of motherhood. I think this is the most important thing, and instead of living in chagrin and remorse, this will not help and will bring you unnecessary trouble.