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It's because the mother-in-law doesn't treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter, nor does she treat her daughter-in-law as her own family, the mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as an outsider, the mother-in-law will talk a lot, and the wives of the small family will be separated, and the mother-in-law will face one set and one behind the back, my mother-in-law doesn't ask about the marriage of several sons, and the children don't ask, the clothes that the groom wore on the day of my marriage were bought by me, not to mention the house, the clothes that the child's uncle wore on the wedding day were the clothes I gave his brother, and the second uncle of the child did not have a house, and the children were not brought, the mother-in-law only lived with herself and her daughter, thinking about herself and her daughter.
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China's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been fighting for thousands of years without winning or losing, mainly to compete for a man's attention to themselves, who is both the son of the mother-in-law and the husband of the daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law has the grace of nurturing this man, and when she sees that her hard-raised son is snatched away by another woman who is younger and more beautiful than herself, her heart is inevitably unbalanced, so she has the mentality of snatching her son back to her side; The daughter-in-law believes that this man has already formed a family with her, and as a husband and father, she should pay for the small family life with her. In this way, the mother-in-law wants to rob her son, but the daughter-in-law refuses to let her, and the war will inevitably break out, which is the crux of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China.
How to solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law depends on the character and character of the two, and the most direct and simple way is not under the same roof.
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Probably because each other's requirements for each other are too high, the mother-in-law hopes that her daughter-in-law can be diligent and filial and serve the family well, and the daughter-in-law hopes that her mother-in-law can help take the children to cook and do housework, and be able to treat herself like her own mother, but unfortunately she can't do it, and then the psychological complaints increase.
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Do you live with your mother-in-law? If you live together, you need your husband to do something, and generally the son is strong, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is no problem. If it's a mother-in-law who is strong and the husband doesn't have any opinions, it's a bit bad, and it will turn into a war between two women.
At this time, you need to talk openly and honestly with your mother-in-law, ask your mother-in-law if there is anything you have not done well enough, and hope that your mother-in-law can bring it up, and if there is no change, you will be encouraged.
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The mother-in-law is the mother-in-law of the husband, and the daughter-in-law is the other half of the husband, I think it is good for two women who are not related by blood to respect each other! If the mother-in-law is too strong and has intimate contact with her son in public, where will the daughter-in-law be placed? What does the daughter-in-law think?
After all, the daughter-in-law is a newcomer after all, and she needs to get used to it slowly, after all, she is a new family and should be given enough time and patience, not that the mother-in-law is free and remembers a good heart, and if she is not free, she should not be this person! The life of the young couple makes the family pass slowly, and the mother-in-law interferes too much, which will only make the son embarrassed, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is getting worse and worse! As the saying goes:
Distance produces beauty! Appropriate distance is the magic weapon to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
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This is a contradiction that has existed in Chinese families for thousands of years, and it is not excluded that there are some families with good mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships, and I think the vast majority of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have bad relationships. Because the son was born to you, the daughter-in-law is not, and the mother-in-law is not the daughter-in-law's mother, and she is not born by herself. If there are a lot of trivial things in life together, there are often contradictions, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two generations, and the lifestyles and ideas are different, and not being able to integrate together will also cause conflicts.
After I got married, I must have separated from my mother.
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The struggle for rights, the right of the head of the family. A family cannot have two hostesses. Two families, two hostesses, the rights must be equal, and they cannot oppress others as elders. Ensure the minimum human rights of the other party, give the other party enough respect, and private space, there will be no conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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In fact, the biggest root cause of China's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problem is that they are not clear about their identity. The daughter-in-law calls her mother-in-law as her own mother but does not respect her mother, and the mother-in-law calls her daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-law but is not as close as her daughter.
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Because she didn't treat her daughter-in-law as her own, her mother-in-law was too selfish, and she never considered the consequences of doing things, she only knew that everyone looked down on her when she had a little power and money, and she was too powerful, and she listened to her son's money for everything, for fear that you would spend it on your mother's family.
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The elders don't look like elders, and they always feel that their daughter-in-law is easy to bully all kinds of people, but in fact, it really destroys their son's marriage. Men have to play a role. Otherwise, the woman suffers. If the mother-in-law has a good heart, there will not be much contradiction.
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The main thing is that there is no sense of boundaries, since you are married, you have to admit that he is an adult, he has his own life and partner, he always wants to show his sovereignty when he has nothing to do, he knows that it is your son, and the girl who has left the family for so many years to marry is because of your son, not because of her mother-in-law, please don't point fingers too much, let them do their own thing, the sense of distance still has to be there, too close I think it's really enough, of course, there is still a beautiful mother-in-law, but it makes people angry more!
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Alas! I said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has not passed the test in any generation, and it was my mother-in-law in the past. The daughter-in-law is an employer, and now she wants to be peaceful.
The daughter-in-law is a mother-in-law, and there are: a rich mother-in-law has an advantage. The mother-in-law who has no money is vulnerable, and who does not have family conflicts.
It depends on how you deal with it, and when you enter a door, you are a family. There is no one right or wrong, only forgiveness and accommodation, and generosity. Young people are young people's thoughts, and people with new ideas in the new society should not compete with the elderly.
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There is not enough respect and private space to live separately! Separate Living! Separate Living!
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Take a step back and open the sky! It's much better to be stupid than smart, and it's easy to be stupid, and it's cheaper later! This is the old saying, you will be a two-headed bag, not a two-headed piggyback!
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not easy to get along with is experienced by many families, and the daughter-in-law who can ask this must hope to have a harmonious family, be kind in heart, and understand the truth of family and prosperity, but this is not something that one person can do. The question you asked is also the question I want to ask.
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The mother-in-law is unwilling to let her daughter-in-law enjoy the blessings she has not enjoyed, but she always wants her daughter-in-law to suffer the hardships that she has not suffered! And my mother's mother is the opposite!
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Because there is a person who can't afford to buy a wedding house and has no money, he is stupid and cheats on marriage.
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It feels like my husband is always going to.
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I think that in the end, it may cause the whole family to fall apart, so I think it is very important to find ways to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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Consequences of a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: 1Leads to family disharmony.
2.Bad reputation. 3.
Impact careers. In short, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a very important issue for the whole family, the family is stable, which will make the career development and make the family more harmonious.
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It will have the effect of family breakdown, because the wife will be dissatisfied with such a family and may divorce as a result.
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If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, family conflicts will intensify in a short period of time, and the relationship between husband and wife will become chaotic, and the whole family may become chaotic because of this.
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The most serious consequence is that the family relationship is not harmonious, which leads to a particularly rigid relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and may even lead to the divorce of the daughter-in-law and her son.
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The wife expects her mother-in-law to participate in raising children a lot and reducing the pressure of their work and life, while the lover always remembers that it is all the wife's obligation, which is also the difference between the two of them on the essence of the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Secondly, it will continue to endanger the healthy and happy growth of children in the future. Every endless dispute, when it comes to the topic of mother-in-law, it will cause disputes, and it will also cause prejudice against grandma in the whole process of children's growth.
1. More communication is a prerequisite for the coexistence of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Only when the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law communicate more, share their own views on things, let each other understand each other better, and spend the run-in time after marriage, can the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be stabilized as soon as possible. You can try to share every bit of work and life with your mother-in-law, and slowly let your mother-in-law feel the attention of her wife.
2. Understand more and be more tolerant
The key point of coexistence in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the different perspective on things and the original preconceptions of the elderly. As a daughter-in-law, she can be reasonably tolerant and understand some of the thoughts of the elderly, and can treat things and solve problems from the perspective of her mother-in-law. It is often seen that there are many mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law who live together very well, and the daughters-in-law have high emotional quotient and IQ, which can make the mother-in-law live more comfortably and at ease.
3. The husband is the lubricant of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship
A husband with high emotional intelligence can solve the conflict in the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law very well, and he does not have to be overly biased towards one side. In fact, the husband can have a communication bridge between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and post more of his own suggestions, so he doesn't have to pretend to be deaf and dumb all the time, so he can only cover up the matter, but he can't deal with the fundamental contradictions.
All in all, with the increasing cost of raising children, many families must use the elderly to use their retirement time to help take care of the children and share some of the pressure of life, which stipulates that the husband can achieve adjustment in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, not only to understand the difficulties of the wife, but also to try to move the elderly to help take care of the child. The husband immediately broke the current situation at home, put the problems he was facing on the table, and gave an explanation to his wife and the old man.
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First, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, they will turn against each other, or even become enemies. Second, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will quarrel at every turn, and even start to move. Third, the mother-in-law may also sue her son, which is also very difficult as a son.
In order to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the man must play an intermediate role, not only to balance his mother, but also to control his daughter-in-law, so that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be stable.
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If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, the relationship between mother-in-law and husband will not be good, and the mother and son will easily quarrel. The relationship between the daughter-in-law's son will also change, and the two will divorce. There will also be conflicts between the daughter-in-law's father-in-law, and the two people have opinions about each other.
If you want to deal with your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you must think more about the problem from the other party's point of view, and don't rush to argue with the other party when you encounter something.
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If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, it will cause many problems, such as: from time to time, the two will quarrel, and even start to move, neither of them can get used to the other, and even the mother-in-law will provoke trouble for her son, making it difficult for her son to be a person. It is not difficult to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the man must be able to adjust and ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law from the middle, and a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is inseparable from the man.
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Family disharmony, damage to physical health, anger depression, male pressure increases, will affect the child's personality; As a junior, we should make appropriate concessions and pay attention to the health of the elderly.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I think it should be the most difficult relationship in the world, because if you want to make a friend, then this friend and your three views do not coincide, then there is no need to make a relationship that is different, this is something you have to face, and it is also a person you must date.
Although we gradually became our own small family after getting married, but my mother-in-law is a mother like herself, and the two of us must often meet, if the relationship is not good, then how should we spend these decades?
I feel that to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is actually related to both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because this mother-in-law just blindly calls her daughter-in-law, or she does not regard this woman as her own family member from the bottom of her heart, so no matter what, there is actually a gap.
Also, because of the age difference, there will really be a generation gap between the two people, so we don't use our own set of standards to ask for a mother-in-law.
If you want to deal with this mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, both people must be able to tolerate each other, not only between husband and wife, but also between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Of course, there are evil mothers-in-law in this world, and there must be evil daughters-in-law.
But in fact, many people are not difficult to do for their husbands, and many times they are still willing to deal with their finances, these two people are actually two strangers, but because of a man they became mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which seems to be a close relationship, but in winter there is actually a big ditch.
So I think if you get along, you feel that as long as you live together, you will face infinite quarrels, then the best thing is to avoid it, or try your best to run in, many times we just need to do the most basic respect for the daughter-in-law, I think it's enough, if the mother-in-law is unreasonable, then there is no need to quarrel with the other party, no matter what, in the end it is your unfilial piety.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, the most important thing is to respect and understand each other, your mother-in-law is also for your good, you have to understand, your husband is also very difficult between you and your mother-in-law, you can tell your husband what you think, let him communicate more with his mother-in-law, and you should also be more considerate of the elderly. You can also tell your mother-in-law what you think, so that your mother-in-law doesn't always care about your affairs, you also have to care more about your husband, don't let your husband be caught in the middle and be embarrassed, your mother-in-law is not an unreasonable person, she should understand you.
Look at your wife is also a college student, the quality is too low, you are the same as me, she followed you when she was not married, it doesn't matter what happens, we will have everything when we slowly struggle, and then hurt you and your family again and again, forcing an old mother to die, sad or yourself, the old mother said that you married your wife and forgot your mother, and the wife said that you are not capable, he will keep saying that you are dead, I don't believe you try, there will be more and more, and finally you will only have a shell left, you can get by, Husbands and wives are eating together, so why not understand their husbands. Brother, sympathize.
Mother-in-law is the mother of the husband, you need to maintain the relationship, the mother-in-law is an important person in your life, when you take care of the work and can't take care of the child, she is the first choice, don't first bring your own mother into your small family, when it comes to blood relationship, the mother-in-law is closer to the grandson, she is not willing to help you take care of the child, you let the child's grandmother, the order must be.
It's not easy to deal with, it's not easy to deal with, I haven't been with my mother-in-law before, there is much less contact, I can't see each other a few times a year, the relationship is very good, in fact, I am also very filial to her, buy things, give money for the New Year's holidays, are much more than for my mother, but she thinks that I still give less, or her daughter gives more, and usually picks my reason, I am wronged, and now I have been separated, or less contact, less things. >>>More
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, what should the husband do, then I think the husband is also a very difficult one, I can't say anything, and I can't say anything if I am a daughter-in-law. Can only be splinted in the intermediary.