How to be a person who is not provoked by emotions?

I often read books, some truths that can be understood from the book, each of us should be a manager of emotions, not a slave of emotions, if we can manage our emotions in a timely manner, not provoked by emotions, then our life must be relatively exciting.

In fact, as long as we are caring people in life, I believe we will do a good job as a manager of our emotions. One. Set your own mentality, mentality is the most important, maintaining a good mentality helps us to do things smoothly, can make us full of expectations for things in life, will not lose our way, to be able to know ourselves at all times, understand ourselves, so as to help us manage ourselves.

Two. We must experience more things, broaden our horizons, do not be limited to a small scope, have our own unique views on everything, and have a level of cognition of things. Learn to handle everything in our own way, don't feel that it doesn't matter, as long as we can balance the things in life, our abilities will gradually improve.

Three. If there is something that you can't solve by yourself, you can talk to someone close to you, maybe someone else's words will make you feel uncomfortable, and the unhappiness in your heart will soon disappear without a trace.

Fourth, we should read more books, books are the ladder of human progress, we must constantly improve ourselves through reading books, and our knowledge will be more and more. You can choose targeted reading, such as books on emotional management, as long as you read more, you will naturally have the answer in your heart, and you will not be limited by fixed thinking.

I believe in the power of struggle, as long as I manage my life with my heart, I will definitely be a good manager of my emotions.

Each of us is experiencing a variety of things, many things in life are not as simple as we think, when facing a variety of emergencies in life, we are most angry and complaining, without a little guard against the extreme bad mood, affecting their life and learning, so how to become a person who is not provoked by emotions, I think there are several ways to solve the problem.

The first method is to mentally suggest when you encounter something. When a person encounters a thing that makes him very uncomfortable, he will always burst out of his inner emotions, at this time he needs personal control, no one can control his emotions, emotions are generated by himself, of course, he needs to control himself, external factors are just the fuse, the root is still in his own heart, when he encounters things, he must first put pressure on himself and let himself understand what he is doing before he explodes, and then he will burst out of his emotions. That's when you find that you don't have any urge to lose your temper, and that's where self-suggestion comes in.

The second way is to have your own interests and hobbies, so as not to let yourself be precipitated by the world. If a person has his own interests and hobbies and constantly studies and works hard for them, he is immersed in the things he likes in his free time, so that people who live a fulfilling life will not be manipulated by emotions.

The third method is continuous learning and development, so that the problems can be solved in front of you. Another important reason why a person is provoked by his own emotions is that his personal cultural knowledge level is insufficient, if a person has all the knowledge reserves in his head, he must be thoughtful and thoughtful, and will not let his temper explode and affect his life.

The fourth method is to have your own goals and motivation to strive for. You can set your goals, work hard for your dreams, and think about your family and loved ones when you lose your temper, so that you will be more motivated in your life.

First of all, we must learn to recognize emotions, including happiness and sadness, expectation and disappointment, love and indifference, anger and fear, melancholy and anxiety, etc.

When we understand the types of emotions, we can classify our emotions and see what makes us emotional, and finding the source of the problem is half the battle.

In addition, we must learn to look at problems rationally, treat things with a rational eye, and try not to be personal.

Learn to shift our attention, when we are too sad and angry because of one thing, we first shift our attention, think about some happy things, or think about some problems, and when we feel that the emotions are not so strong, we come back to look at the matter.

Learn to vent our emotions appropriately, only when our emotions are vented well, can we not be swayed by emotions. Listen to some cheerful **, or go for a walk alone, chat with friends, eat a good meal, and go on a trip can all vent our emotions.

Learning to accept emotions, everyone will have emotions, this is natural, only when we accept it, can we better control him, not be controlled by emotions.

As the saying goes: if you are quiet, you must stabilize yourself, and you are not deeply involved in the world! The best thing to do is to turn a blind eye and hear and not hear. Make them transparent, or be transparent to themselves.

It's all about your mindset. If you are hostile to others, it will of course have an inescapable effect on you. If you usually feel very friendly to others, feel very friendly to what others do, it will not affect your emotions, there is a psychological burden in psychology, for people or things you are not used to, you will naturally have a psychological burden, which will affect your emotions.

Thinking that everything in front of you is beautiful and taken for granted, such a person is called living a healthy and free life.

Here's a story to illustrate this problem: Once upon a time, an old monk and a little monk went to a big temple to worship, passing by a river, there was no bridge on the river, and at this time there was a beautiful woman in a beautiful dress by the river, looking at the river but also anxious, the old monk volunteered and said, female Bodhisattva, the poor monk will carry you across the river. The old river said that he carried the beautiful woman across the river, and the river was uneasy, how can you hold the female Bodhisattva?

The more he thought about it, the more uneasy he became, and when he looked at the old monk as if nothing had happened, he couldn't help but ask, Master, how can a monk hold such a beautiful female bodhisattva!

Lao Heshang immediately laughed, hey! You, little monk, why are you still holding that female Bodhisattva in your heart, but I let it go at that time.

Our brains are divided into left and right brains, and the right brain is mainly responsible for everything related to the image. The left hemisphere is mainly concerned with the logical analysis of language. When doing anything, our right brain responds first.

Then search for screen information related to the event. If we can't find it, we enter the left-brain logic analysis. That is, when we do anything, the right brain reacts first, and then the left brain reacts.

And inside our heads, like a powerful hard drive, stores all the information we have from birth to the present. All visual. Feel.

Touch. Taste. Olfaction.

Hearing becomes experience and image form, stored in the left and right brains. We only need to learn to extract information from the brain to achieve the purpose of controlling emotions.

We will all experience joy in our lives and in the process of growing up. Anger. Pity.

Happy. Sad. Happy.

Leave. Compatible things. And these things are stored in our heads by our eyes in the form of video cameras in the form of images.

When we bring up the painful experience in the other person's head. The other person will relive the whole picture of his pain in his head. For example:

You ask a girl, what is the most painful thing in your life? The other person will replay the whole painful experience in their head like a movie. The more you play it back, the more real it feels, and then you go back to the scene at that time, and you can't pull it yourself.

Then she is likely to cry in pain and so on. If we want to make the other person happy, we can also mention the things that make him happy. The effect is the same.

He would also replay the whole picture from that time. The more you play it, the more it feels real. This is the simple technique of controlling emotions.

It is important to note that when we use the heart anchor technique. We try to speak as graphic as possible. Here's a simple example:

Are you eating noodles or rice or rice noodles today? Rice inside this sentence. Noodles.

Rice noodles are with pictures. The other party will answer quickly. Therefore, when extracting other people's experiences, it is necessary to use words with a sense of picture and language guidance to achieve the desired effect.

Well, that's how the general technique of the heart anchor works.

2.Compare the facts with the emotional intensity to see if they match.

Ask yourself: the impact of the current event on yourself, the impact of your emergency emotions on yourself, which one has the least loss between the two, is the reality really what I imagined? Is there some misunderstanding, I'm angry at the point of **?

3.Sometimes your emotions are not all caused by the events of the moment, there are many emotions wrapped together, then you have to open the emotional box and find out the many stressors. It may be that a sentence touches the bitterness in your heart, such as a lover who often scolds you with this sentence, or you often see someone staring at you with strange eyes, these will make the emotions play out together and finally explode, so be sure to regulate the emotions that do not belong to the moment.

4.We must learn to accept negative emotions, because no matter what kind of emotions are part of us, they are an important way to perceive the world, life, people's hearts, and human feelings. Negative emotions can also help you understand yourself better, because emotions are the most real thoughts and needs in our hearts, and emotional out-of-control can only mean that we have suppressed or ignored this need, so it is through this window to understand ourselves more comprehensively, in fact, negative emotions can promote our growth more than positive emotions.

1. Improve the flexibility of thinking and develop multiple choices.

Many times, we are unhappy and emotional because we have pushed ourselves into a corner. When your boss criticizes you for not doing well, you become depressed and even go back to your seat and fall and smash, which is actually because you are emotionally controlled, and the result is not only that the problem is not solved, but that the problem may continue to worsen.

Therefore, at this time, we need to cut off our feelings, judge calmly, and think of more concrete solutions for the whole thing. If you really can't think of a solution, try changing your mood and saying "thank you". As it says in various chicken soups for the soul – thank you to the people who spur you on.

Don't always get into the horns, learn to improve the flexibility of thinking, and find different paths, which can be a good way to reduce the impact of emotions.

2. Communicate in a timely manner, and don't push your dissatisfaction on the past.

Quarrels are one of the most common forms of emotion, and as both parties involved, once a person's emotions reach the "ignition point", then this "war" is inevitable. In fact, a quarrel at this time is also a good way to vent emotions. But what I am most afraid of is to "turn over old accounts" when we quarrel and say, "You are always .......""Last ......"...... last yearSuch old sesame seeds and rotten grains have successfully triggered a "world-class war".

Therefore, whether it is a quarrel or any dissatisfaction, we must communicate in a timely manner, especially with family members, and solve the problem as soon as possible.

3. Set the right expectations and don't overwhelm yourself.

In the book, the author proposes four kinds of troubles in life, which come from relationships, money, health, and the future. In fact, these four kinds of afflictions can be boiled down to one, which is the affliction of expecting too much.

We are accustomed to expecting too much from others, and when others give you a blow, we will be depressed and unwilling; We are accustomed to expecting too much from ourselves, and when we don't get what we want, we don't meet the standards we want to achieve, we will be resentful; We are accustomed to expecting too much from the future, always thinking that what we can't do today will be done tomorrow, but the result is often that we will still repeat the same mistakes ......These high expectations crush us.

Just like not watching an over-publicized and exaggerated TV series, properly recognize the reality, set a reasonable expectation for yourself and others, and you will become happier.

1.Proper socialization is conducive to maintaining sanity.

Of course, it is more difficult to contact others when they are grieving, because at this time, many people will choose to be "quiet" by themselves.

When we are in the midst of negative emotions such as sadness and sadness, we always think - my world has collapsed, but they live as before, they will not understand me, and I will make them uncomfortable.

And when we walk down the street full of grief and the people passing by are unaware, it makes us confused and angry. We may even think that the earth should stop turning as a sign of our grief.

However, when you calm down, you will know that the world will not change anything because of your sadness and depression, but rather that your depression may make your life worse.

2.Don't complain too often.

The most obvious characteristic of people with a lot of negative emotions is that they often complain. For the various problems and difficulties faced in life and work, they can only vent their dissatisfaction and helplessness through language.

Complaining may make you feel better, but it doesn't help you in itself. So, instead of spending a lot of time complaining, it is better to find a way to solve the problem with a positive attitude and overcome the difficulties through your own efforts.

3.Divert your attention and get your body and mind moving.

When you're trying to come out of stagnation, don't rush and run your inertial behavior first.

Habitual behavior refers to the most regular things in your life before you encounter something sad, those small details that you are accustomed to. For example, waking up early to go for a half-hour morning jog outside, or regularly going to a favorite place to relax, etc.

These habits were once inconspicuous, but after a major setback, they represent a kind of stability and a good beginning to re-establish order in life. Sticking to a steady habit that doesn't drain you too much energy is the most appropriate behavior in times of grief.

4.Don't always get tangled.

Although many people advocate "think before you act", many things are excessively entangled, which not only does not help to complete a thing, but will bring great trouble to themselves and others.

There is a good saying, "If you are interrupted, you will be disturbed." In many cases, people should have their own decision-making, and repeatedly entangled, which does not do any good to the thing itself, can only waste their own time and energy with others in vain.

5.Accept the reality and release the negative emotions slowly.

The practice of diversionary care can keep our body and mind moving forward in a positive direction, but the sadness remains.

Therefore, we need to set aside a specific time and space for it to truly release the grief.

After trying these methods, if you still can't get out of the negative emotions, then it is necessary for you to have psychological counseling and let the counselor help you get out of the swamp of negative emotions.