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The child's distrust of the parents may be that the parents often lie to them, or the parents often lie when dealing with things and are seen by the child. The child knows that his parents' abilities are limited, and he clearly knows that a certain promise of his parents cannot be fulfilled.
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often talk back to the child, coax the child to agree to the child's request but not do it, do not care about the child, do not know what the child needs most.
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In life, we often make promises with our children, and whether we can fulfill our commitments in the end is a key factor in cultivating children's trust in their parents. When we respect our children's feelings, are able to do what we say, and even if we can't, we can understand our children's frustration and explain the reasons to them, so that children can often appreciate the sincerity of their parents and have sincere trust in them. For children, the best education is for parents to lead by example.
As a member of the family, a child's eyes are the clearest and the most keen. When parents are in a role that can be trusted, children will learn to be honest and responsible, and develop a sense of identity with their parents. Identity, for everyone, is the beginning of trust.
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This must be because parents usually do not particularly trust their children, often question their children, or often hit their children, making children less and less trusting their parents and more and more exclusionary of their parents.
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I think this is that in daily life, children are often deceived by their parents, and many times it is because parents promise their children things and do not do them, which will cause children to lose confidence in their parents.
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Don't trust the child. Many parents have this cognitive misunderstanding, and they shout that if we don't care about the child, we will destroy the child. Children are likely to kill people and set fires, and be lawless.
Parents manage their children every day and worry about their children, and this mode of getting along continues, and the result is that children outsource this part of their own management functions to their parents. The child's self-management ability is weakened, and it is not even cultivated. Therefore, many children have no motivation to learn and are not proactive, which is the result of excessive substitution by their parents.
2. Seeing children as machines without emotions and feelings. Many parents especially like obedient children, and hope that their children will obey their own words, don't talk back, don't refute, parents issue instructions, and children will be obedient and do as they say. Treat children like machines.
She is to obey my commands. Otherwise, you will be beaten. We are emotionally isolated from our children at this time, and many of our children's problems are caused by their parents' improper parenting methods.
3. Parents regard themselves as gods and rarely show their true selves in front of their children. Many parents have high moral standards for themselves, want to behave perfectly in front of their children, completely ignore their own needs and feelings, and are willing to sacrifice themselves for their children. Ask yourself not to have emotions, not to lose your temper, and want to be a perfect parent.
But the result is not only a lot of pressure on the child's heart, but also exhaustion himself.
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1. Always talk the opposite. Parents should talk the opposite, which is a manifestation of thinking about the education method with their hearts, but they must grasp the scale. On the contrary, it is a kind of pressure, but this pressure should not crush the child, and should turn this pressure into a motivation to learn and move forward.
In addition, parents often talk back, which may give children the impression that parents often deceive themselves, which affects the child's trust in his parents, the child's self-confidence and normal social interaction.
2. Parents don't care about their children. In fact, children most want their parents to understand them, understand their interests, joys and sorrows, and give them support. However, many parents do not understand this, and focus all their eyes on their children's grades or daily life, and once their children's grades decline, they will blame them.
As everyone knows, if the average child's academic performance declines, there must be some kind of confusion in the psychology, such as learning difficulties, self-confidence frustration, etc., at this time the child needs the help and understanding of parents the most. And some parents do not have good grades to accuse their children of being greedy for play, this practice is easy for children to have hatred for parents, thinking that parents only care about grades, not about themselves, slowly children and parents will become more and more estranged, and gradually lose trust in parents.
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<> many parents do not notice their influence on their children when educating them. They often make promises to their children easily, hoping to encourage them to study hard in this way, but when the children make good on their promises, the parents go back on themselves. This kind of behavior hurts children a lot.
Children will feel that their parents cannot be trusted, and if they do not correct them, they will lose trust. Therefore, Bian Xiao suggested that when we educate our children, we must fulfill our commitments. The prerequisite for cultivating trust is that the relationship between parents and children is close enough.
Parents should give their children daily and attentive companionship as much as possible. If children are accustomed to having their parents by their side all the time, they will naturally regard their parents as their most important people and trust them wholeheartedly. When accompanying children, parents should put their minds on their children and participate in activities with them wholeheartedly, not only physically, but also mentally.
As parents, the most important thing is to educate their children and above all to lead by example, because parents have the most influence in their children's lives and spend the most time with them. Children have a strong ability to imitate and will always learn from their parents. If their parents have bad habits, their children will learn too.
If their parents don't keep their promises, all children will learn too, so parents should allow themselves to be role models for their children. Of course, to build prestige, you must be a trustworthy person. Whatever is promised, do it because children expect a lot from their parents.
In the process of children's growth, the care and material things that children receive come from their parents. If the parents are not in good condition, they can promise some small things, but they don't have to promise big things, but the premise is that they must do it.
Parents will lie to their children in order to let their children develop better, or hope that their children will make significant progress. Parents who want to promote their children's learning and cultivate other good habits in their children will use lies to get their children to achieve their goals, probably to cope with their children. However, this parenting method can save parents a lot of time when educating their babies, and can also improve the efficiency of educating their babies.
But it can undermine a child's trust in their parents. If you always lie to your child, it will slowly destroy your child's trust in her parents, and it will also cast a certain shadow on your child's heart.
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It may be that parents often cheat on their children; Don't lie in front of your children, do everything you say, and fulfill what you promise your children.
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Parents are not trusted because parents always cheat on their children, and parents should be honest with their children and spend more time with their children.
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It's because they feel that their parents are always coaxing them, and it may be caused by cheating on New Year's money when they were young. Therefore, parents must be gentlemen, horses are difficult to chase, and what they promise must be done.
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When the teacher can't help it, he will complain to the parents, for example, your child made a mistake at school and did something that should not be done. This is also a common occurrence in home-school co-ordination.
The question is, as a parent of a child, who do you believe in this situation? Believe what the teacher said, and give your own children a stinky training? Or is it believed that the child is not wrong?
Most parents choose to trust their teachers, right? (Therefore, teacher ethics education is really important!) If the teacher has no teaching ethics and is unscrupulous, then the child will be miserable. )
When parents choose to trust their teachers, they choose the opposite of their children. A mother told me that the teacher told me that her child might be reading extracurricular books, so she rushed to school regardless of 3721, poured out the bottom of the child's school bag, and turned it over. Although nothing has been found, the damaged parent-child relationship will never return to the past.
The child no longer talks to his mother, and it doesn't help for her to explain that it's for his good. It is not easy to build trust between parents and children, but it is very easy to overturn trust. Once the relationship is broken, education becomes more and more difficult.
Believing in your child is a prerequisite for helping him build self-esteem. A child who is respected will have a super sense of self, and his heart is warm, safe, and relaxed, without doubts and loneliness. Children who grow up in this good atmosphere will develop a sense of self-awareness, a proactive mentality, and a spirit of self-improvement and self-reliance.
Please respect your children as you respect yourself, your leaders, your colleagues, and your friends. Only by respecting children can we effectively shorten the psychological distance between you and your children, enter the hearts of children, listen to more children's voices, understand children better, and help children at critical moments to make children better and better.
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The premise of doubting one's family depends on the character of one's family. Always like to steal chickens and dogs, not doing business, it is doubtful.
Parents' distrust of their children, prudence often makes children misunderstood and injured by mistake, and also destroys children's trust in their parents, which will slowly become a scar on children's psychology in the future and affect children's growth. So, how can parents build a trusting relationship with their children?
1. Don't question and belittle your child at will.
Many parents will use their children's young age as an excuse to distrust their children, disrespect their children, and even belittle them in many things.
For example, many parents belittle their children in front of relatives and friends, and want to use blame and belittle to urge their children to correct their mistakes; For example, some parents will not question others and do not believe their children, thinking that their children are stealing the family's money, as in the story above. Parents do this once or twice, and the results can be imagined.
On the other hand, parents always think that their children will lie and cheat, and every time they are caught by their parents, they will reduce their trust in their children and blame their children. However, parents should know that basically every child will go through the process of making mistakes, but it is important for parents to learn how to help their children to correct them, not to question their children, or even try to correct them in a way that belittles them, which is wrong.
2. Believe in your child's abilities.
Many times parents always use their majesty to suppress their children, when they encounter children make mistakes, they continue to criticize and blame children, and even use the way of stick education, in the long run, sail bright children are likely to close themselves, estranged from their parents, no longer communicate with their parents, and encounter things silently, lack of resistance, refutation.
Therefore, as parents, we should give our children the opportunity to make mistakes and trust their ability to deal with them, which will not only enhance their self-confidence, but also cultivate their independent character.
3. Communicate more with your children.
Children will encounter various setbacks and difficulties in their growth, and they will often turn to their parents for help, parents can use this opportunity to strengthen communication with their children, let children express their inner thoughts, and then solve children's problems, communication between parents and children is one of the important channels to establish a relationship of trust with children.
Parents can be said to be the most trustworthy and trustworthy people in their children's birth, so in the process of children's growth, we parents should also fully believe in children, so as to establish a good relationship of trust, help children solve life difficulties, and move towards a better future.
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