How were you affected when your parents controlled you with their own thoughts?

I can say that my family is in this state as well. I grew up outside, and when I returned to my hometown in high school, I didn't know anyone, and I basically stayed at home. I have a younger sister who likes to be lively, and she loves to talk to someone and chat, but after all, I'm so old, and I think it's okay to go to the New Year for the New Year.

It's also counted every time, this doesn't work, that doesn't work. In college, I went to nothing, or something, and not being filial is already a recognized thing. has always been a lead, and has never been a good child.

People go to college, I have to go to college; People got married, and I had to find a way to get married as soon as I graduated; Everyone else has children, and I don't have a partner yet.

To get rid of the control of parents, and at the same time not to control their children after becoming parents, then you must learn to own and control your own life. Knowing that everyone should own and control their own life, and only control their own life, and at the same time, only they can be responsible for their own life, this is the greatest spiritual independence.

After many people grow up in this kind of family of origin, they also interfere in and control their partner's life like parents control their children, or develop in reverse, and they will have a heavy psychological burden when doing what they want to do, and they will unconsciously think that their partner will definitely oppose interfering with their own practices. For example, they may think that the other person's way of doing things is wrong, that their hobbies are inappropriate, or that they dare not think that rest and recreational hobbies, as well as interpersonal interactions with friends and colleagues, are actually a person's legitimate rights and interests after meeting the basic living conditions.

What is the effect of the union of two families who have grown up under the control of their parents and who are both controlling over others at heart, when they become parents? They will learn from their parents' words "I am for your good" and pass it on to their children. They may have two extremes about their child's education and will be very conflicted.

On the one hand, you will not be able to refuse your child's unreasonable requests, you will not be able to establish your own principles in front of your child, your child will compromise when she cries, and she will be doted on (just like you can't refuse your parents' crying), and on the other hand, you will suppress many of your children's ideas. Why are you disobedient? (Just like the control that parents used to have over themselves).

Parents do things for our good, not to make us obedient. Therefore, we need to understand the minds of our parents correctly. When we grow up, there are many things that we need to listen to our parents, and we should listen to our parents' advice more when we become adults.

But our lives are ultimately decided by ourselves, and your parents can't help you make decisions for a lifetime, nor can they accompany you for a lifetime. If your parents disagree, you can analyze and reason with them, instead of blindly obeying and complaining to your parents if you fail. Parents just use their own life experience to help you shelter from the wind and rain, due to limitations, as time grows, there will be leaks and leaks, and you have to repair them yourself.

Therefore, you should rely on yourself to do things, listen to your parents' advice, and learn to be independent and self-reliant, so that your parents will rest assured. A child's maturity begins with surpassing his or her parents.

What I advocate is that we give back what our parents give. For parents who often communicate with their children's spirits and care for their children's spiritual growth and real needs, they will return the favor with more respect and spiritual communication; For parents who take care of their children's diet and daily life, and give care in life, they will return with filial piety, life care or companionship; For parents who often oppress and mistreat themselves, but also pull them to grow up, they return the obligation to support; Whatever kind of love parents give, they will return the kind of love. But be careful, just reciprocate love, not "obedience" and "obedience".

Just give them love, rather than giving them control and decisions over their lives.

If you coincide with the path arranged by your parents. Then you're having fun, too. If you and your parents have arranged different paths.

But you do what they do. Do you think you'll be happy? The most terrifying way to live is to walk the dead every day.

Self-awareness. Barely alive. Do the things that make you feel truly happy inside.

Fail or not. Your heart will be satisfied. Parents are also doing what they think is good for you.

Make parents aware of what you really want. Communicate sincerely. Take their words as advice.

I believe that you will live better.

I'm like the same with me, I think my parents are like this, they are all for your good, afraid of your suffering, afraid of you being sinned, afraid of you being wronged, afraid of you being hurt, afraid of you being hurt. I think both parents are like that. So you have to understand your parents.

Don't go against your parents. Listen to your parents. If your parents are right, you will do it.

Don't contradict your parents. What the parents said was not right. You have to reason with them, don't contradict them.

Because they are your parents, everything they say is right. You're going to listen to your parents. Parents are your parents.

You have to respect your parents. Don't go against your parents. If your parents are right, you will do it.

Don't contradict your parents. What the parents said was not right. You're going to reason with them.

What the parents said was not right.

Parental control shouts Kai our thoughts, which can be solved in this way: first of all, the correct thinking of parents, we must listen carefully, and we are not busy blaming our parents. If there is, it will be changed, and if there is none, it will be encouraged.

This parent has no way to control our thoughts, if the parents insist on going their own way, we can communicate and discuss with our parents, after all, we have our own thinking and ideas, have our own life, and be responsible for our own life. If they still insist on going their own way after the communication is done, you can tell him, are you responsible for my life?

We must learn to communicate with our parents, tell our parents about the harm of this behavior, and to reason with our parents, we need to learn to be the master of the rotation by ourselves, and we must let our parents feel that your words are reasonable, in short, we must solve this matter calmly, and do not choose such extreme repentance or methods as quarreling with our parents.

Many parents have a strong sense of control, they want to control their children's lives and decisions, and let their children completely listen to their own words. In fact, it is wrong for parents to do this, because the child is also an independent person, he needs to have his own thoughts, and he cannot completely obey his parents. If children continue to listen to their parents, they will become very unassertive, and they will not try to solve problems themselves, and can only rely on others.

So what would you do if your parents tried to control your life and decisions in every possible way?

If your parents control your life and decisions, it may be because they are worried that you will not manage your own life well and may make some wrong decisions. After all, your age is relatively young, and your life experience is relatively small, so your parents are also very worried that you will be deceived, so they want you to listen to your parents. At this time, you can have a deep heart-to-heart conversation with your parents, telling your parents that you have grown up and can make your own decisions, and even if you make mistakes, you can bear the consequences of mistakes, and you don't need your parents to continue to worry about it.

In fact, parents also understand their children, as long as the children talk to their parents seriously, parents will also make changes, and there will be no strong desire to control.

Many parents don't realize that their children have grown up, and they still feel that their children are still relatively young and will make decisions for their children. Therefore, you should tell your parents that you have grown up and can make your own decisions, and you can decide your future college major or some things in life. Even if you can't make a decision, you can't force your child to do things according to the rules he has set, and you can have a discussion with your child.

After all, the child is also an independent person and will not be completely controlled by his parents.

I chose to talk to my parents about it, I have grown up and can make my own decisions, so I hope my parents will give me some affirmation.

I will stay away from such parents, because this kind of practice will affect my whole life, and it will also affect my decision-making, which is very bad.

I will communicate with my parents, and I will make them realize that I have grown up, have my own subjective judgment ability, and have my own special desire to do things.

Independent Thinking: Independent thinking is a very important ability that can help you analyze and understand problems better. By thinking independently, you can form your own opinions and express your ideas more confidently.

Accept different perspectives: Accepting different perspectives can help you understand an issue more fully. You can look at the problem from a different perspective and get more information and ideas from it.

Stand your ground: When you've identified your positions and opinions, it's very important to stick to them. You can express your ideas in an appropriate way, such as discussion or debate.

Seek advice from a third party: If you are confused or unsure, you can seek advice from a third party. The third party may be a teacher, a friend, or a professional. They can give you different perspectives and advice to help you better understand and solve problems.

In conclusion, to keep your thoughts free from the influence of your parents, you need to think independently, accept different points of view, stand your ground and seek the opinions of third parties. At the same time, it is also important to respect the views of parents and communicate and communicate with them as much as possible to achieve better understanding and balance.

What Chinese parents are best at is that they have done things that hurt you, but they claim to be doing things for your own good, and if resentment and guilt are stimulated at the same time, you will not be able to distinguish the difference between love and harm, and you will not be able to maintain your own boundaries.

We should all learn to "respect" and when others (anyone) don't know how to respect us, we should stand up and tell them. We have to admit that Chinese parents do not have this awareness of "respecting their children", so we have to tell them what behaviors make us unhappy and how we expect them to change.

Communicate well. > when our parents don't tolerate our communication or are stubborn, this is the time for us to stand up for ourselves. I used to have the same disturbances, and my parents brought me a lot of negative feelings. At this time, my former boss said to me, "If this person only brings you unhappiness, you should sweep these people out of your life!"

This sentence was very impressive to me, and I stopped pestering my parents later, and I would inform them of my bottom line and yardsticks, and ask them to respect me and not interfere in my life. At first, they were very rejected, and I think many Chinese will say at this time, "I don't want my parents to despair." My parents are getting older.

These are all excuses that we don't have the courage to do! The bottom line is the bottom line, no one can cross it, as long as I respect myself, others will recognize. When we are tough, our parents will eventually reflect on themselves.

At that time, they learned very quickly and endured very quickly! Parents are not as fragile as we think, and we should not make excuses for our own vulnerability!

The economy must be independent, the economy must be independent, and the economy must be independent. Repression does not exist, and there is oppression, and there is resistance. Life is already very tiring, but I really feel all the time, all the time, that I not only have to carry the difficulties of life, but I also have to carry my parents to carry the weight forward.

I really hope that they have their own lives, their own things to pursue, instead of putting their vanity, the helplessness of failure in life, and the things that have been in their hearts and minds all in the name of love, in the name of thinking that they are good for me, all on me.

You can tell your parents that we have grown up, we want to start our own life, and we also need to make decisions about our own life, you can't forcibly control our life, this is not good, this is not the life we want, and we will not be happy in the future.

We should talk to our parents, and we should also talk to our parents about what they think, so that they can change their opinion about us, and that will be fine.

I think the first thing to do is to communicate with your parents and talk about what is in your heart. Secondly, let parents watch more educational programs to learn the ideas in them and change traditional concepts.

Of course, you must first communicate well with your parents, explain the main problems and contradictions clearly, try not to hold back your heart, listen to the opinions and suggestions around you, or go to see mental health problems.

Express ideas. Tell your parents that you are an independent person, have independent thoughts, and don't interfere too much in your own life.

Be sure to tell your parents that your life is very painful, because you feel that you can't exercise your freedom, and your parents may be considerate of you and change your stereotypes.