When a friend is in trouble, what can we do so that we don t harm ourselves?

When friends encounter difficulties, it is normal to help, but we must remember that we must consider our actual situation when helping, and do not help others in turn. Everyone's way of dealing with people is different, sometimes you help him, but it may damage your own interests, and it will not play any positive role, so you must remember that no matter how good a friend is "in trouble", you must not help him in the following four things, and if something happens, you will regret it.

Property issues of significant interest are involved.

Smart people don't help others in matters involving major interests, because the word money is very sensitive, and the so-called money can make the devil grind. Money is likely to make a person lose his mind, or even sell his soul for money, touching the bottom line of morality, once we help him at this time, it is equivalent to aiding the abuse, even if this is not the case, if he loses benefits, he will blame your head, the gains outweigh the losses, so remember, do not help friends on major interest issues, so as not to go wrong.

Unclear decisions about major life decisions.

Everyone will face major decisions in life, for these times, we must not make decisions for them, because once the final result is not satisfactory, he will definitely blame you, after all, there are some big things, you must learn to make your own decisions, otherwise you will not be able to be independent in the future, the same way, this is also the respect for others, attach importance to the autonomy of others, and also avoid others to complain about you in the future.

Something that can hurt yourself.

As the saying goes, "If a man is not for himself, the heavens and the earth will be destroyed". Everyone has to think about themselves, and those things that will hurt you, no matter how good your friend, don't help him, because you can't do it alone, which means that you don't have the ability to solve this problem perfectly, so don't ask for it. Otherwise, in the end, not only did you not help others, but you got bruised all over your body, and at the same time, others will not think of your good, and may blame you in turn, which can be described as "losing your wife and breaking your soldiers".

So help at the cost of hurting yourself, no matter what, don't just lend a helping hand, because everyone has their own things, and no one is a savior.

Complicated interpersonal relationships.

Modern people's communication is a very complicated thing, a lot of things are not what you see, when you think that the two of them are quarrelling, no longer friends, maybe tomorrow, they will be driven by common interests, and come back together, there is no way to say this kind of thing, so don't judge the development of the situation just by what you see a scene, blindly help others, you know, your good intentions others may not know, maybe it will affect yourself, remember.

You can contribute money and effort to help your friends, but don't get involved in your friends' affairs, so that you will not be able to harm yourself.

If you can help, you can help, if it touches your own interests or endangers your safety, you can only implicitly shirk it.

When a friend is in trouble, you must know why your friend is in trouble, if you also have these shortcomings, seize the time to change, and if the nature of the other party is particularly serious, it is also very necessary to draw a clear line appropriately.

We can help our friends in distress, but if it involves something that violates the law, we should decisively refuse.

If you don't want to harm yourself, then you will cut yourself in two with your friends, distance yourself, and never get along with each other.

First, your help may not make a difference, and it will also hit the other person's self-esteem.

When many people are in trouble, although they have a hard time, their hearts are actually unwilling to let the people around them see their embarrassment. They would rather grit their teeth and push through, relying on their own strength to change the status quo and maintain the last dignity in their hearts. At this time, if you take the liberty to help the other party, not only will it have no effect, but it will touch his sensitive heart, make him feel that he has no face and no dignity, and it will be difficult to hold his head up in front of you in the future.

Therefore, before you help someone, you should first see if the other person is explicitly asking you for help. If not, don't take the liberty of breaking the other person's state of life. Instead of giving the other person some insignificant care, it is better to maintain his dignity.

Second, excessive help, it is easy to meet people who have to make inches.

The story of Fan Shengmei, the protagonist of the TV series Ode to Joy, is a good example. His family is patriarchal, and all the benefits are given to the brother who is not doing his job, and even asks Fan Shengmei to help his brother repay his debts. After all, her ability is limited, and she has been morally kidnapped by her family for a long time, and her life is very bad.

In reality, there are not a few examples of this, at the beginning you may be out of sympathy or affection, to help the person in distress. The other party may see this and become dependent on your giving, and want to receive more help from you.

After all, your personal strength is limited, and the needs of the other party are like a bottomless pit, in the long run, not only will you not be able to help the other party, but you will also push yourself into the abyss, and Chun Stool Kai will fall into the quagmire with the other party. Therefore, it is not advisable to help someone in distress, otherwise you will lose more than you gain and end up dragging yourself down.

Learn to see if the other person needs help that you can afford.

When some people meet friends in distress, they will help each other out of affection, however, Kukai doesn't know that the other party's needs are far more than this. But at this time, you will be embarrassed, and you will find that your own strength is completely unable to completely help the other person out of the predicament, but if you don't continue, the other person will be disappointed in you.

After all, you have given the other person a little help, so that he has more expectations for picking you up, and if you can't meet this expectation, it will make the other person feel a huge sense of loss. Therefore, you might as well do what you can at the beginning, and if your ability can't completely help the other party out of the predicament, it's better to support him silently and don't blindly stand up. Otherwise, the other person may be disappointed in you and even resentful.

In general, when your friend is in trouble, you need to learn to analyze the actual situation and judge whether you are capable.