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When you meet a parent who often quarrels, this is a fate that you have no choice and no way to escape. However, frankly, the problems in their relationship, you, as their child, are actually something that you can't help. If we want to solve this problem at the root, in fact, we can only rely on their own continuous in-depth communication, and continuous mutual tolerance and compromise.
No matter how hard you try and how hard you work, the role you can play is really limited. <>
I think what you need is to first observe the psychological dynamics and patterns behind their quarrels. From a psychological point of view, although they quarrel with the industry itself, although it brings a lot of trouble to the people around them, but for themselves, it must be a certain psychological benefit. For example, know what the other person thinks through a fight?
Through quarrels, perceive whether the other party still cares about you. Through quarrels, you can release a lot of grievances, anger and other emotions that you have suppressed in your ordinary life. In other words, quarrels are also good for their relationship.
For you, if you want to regulate their emotional problems, in my opinion, one of the most important principles is to be neutral among them. It sounds simple, but it's not easy to do. Because, the palms and backs of the hands are full of meat. So, be very aware.
Another important way to do this is to learn to listen and empathize. The biggest role you can play is to be their best listener and just listen. The point is to listen to the emotions and needs behind their language.
That is, what kind of emotion are they expressing, is it grievance, dissatisfaction, or complaining, anger? What does he want? You have to remember that all actions are essentially a cry for love.
Listening itself is therapeutic. When you listen attentively to what they are saying, their inner emotions are relieved, and their thinking and behavior will slowly begin to change. For example, it turns out that the energy pipeline among them is blocked there, and the energy of love is not circulating.
After you listen, the emotional garbage that is stuck there is cleared, and the energy of love between them can flow again. Once it flows, they will find a solution to things on their own, and they will reflect on how to do it, which will be better.
In this way, with the wisdom of four or two thousand dollars, they started their self-healing power in the relationship. This is a power that any person, any relationship. It is also the most effective force that can bring about a fundamental change in the relationship.
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In fact, as our children, there is really not much help in the problem of parents quarreling, because we don't know much about their emotional problems, and they must have their reasons for quarreling.
Although it is our parents, we should not listen to one side of the story, especially the desire to be a mother is stronger and will say a lot, but if we only listen to one side of the word, it will often be unfair to our parents.
Unless you know what the reason for their real quarrel is, it's hard to help them adjust. And even if you know why, you may not be able to get started. <>
In fact, on this issue, I think we can only go with the flow, if we get involved in it, it will only make things worse, after all, we don't have much life experience, there is not much reference value for parents, I think what you can do is to tell your parents that you love them very much, I hope they can grow old, let them solve the rest!
I have a friend's parents since he was a child has been very discordant, two days a small quarrel three days a big quarrel, my friend in the middle of the circle is also not less around, but did not play any role, and then the friend slowly did not care about them, the two quarreled for a lifetime and finally the friend also grew up, he felt that there was no point in the parents quarreling like this, hurt each other.
He suggested to his parents that they should either divorce or not think about my problems, they have grown up, you should each pursue your own happiness, thank you for all this you have done for me, now you are free. As a result, his parents were stunned, and to his friend's surprise, his parents stopped arguing and slowly became in love.
Maybe it was because they realized that the children had grown up and had not tied their shackles, and the two suddenly knew how to cherish each other after a lifetime.
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Seeing you asking this question, I think you are really a child with a heart.
I remember that when many books talk about educating children, they will say not to quarrel in front of children, which is not good for children's psychology, and the small points listed will make people feel that the harm to children is simply too great, and people who have read it will think that I must not quarrel in front of children in the future, but how many people can do it? There are still many parents who will quarrel in front of their children, and young children do not know what the situation is, they will often cry in fear, and then they will feel natural, and then their behavior will also carry some traces of this.
When children are young, they will think that these quarrels are because of themselves, because they are not obedient and good enough, but is this really the case? No, the quarrels between parents are more due to each other's personality problems, each other's sense of value, and emotional problems.
You see what problems are caused by your parents, some parents because there is no love between each other, they don't appreciate each other, each other's problems feel intolerable, although they have been running in for a long time, but they still don't know each other to improve, such parents can summarize each other's patterns in their lives and tell them respectively, if they are willing to live a better life, they will do a reflection, they will try to correct, if they no longer believe in each other, I believe that there is no better way for them to avoid quarrels, so they can only watch them continue to quarrel like this.
There are as many loving families as there are non-loving families, and it feels like every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, and I hope that families all over the world can become warm and loving.
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My parents used to quarrel all the time, when I was young, every time they quarreled, I didn't know anything but crying, but now that I'm grown up, it's their little padded jacket, and when they quarrel again, I come out of the round. Now their relationship is getting better and better.
You have to observe why your parents usually quarrel? What are the reasons? I observed that my parents' quarrels were actually trivial, and the real reason was actually their personality problems.
My mom was an anxious, a bit stubborn, and a little short-tempered. And my dad was originally a reasonable person, as soon as he met my mother's impatience, machismo came, and he had to listen to him for everything, and my mother was so stubborn that she definitely didn't listen to him, and then the contradiction between the two arose, and the quarrel began, and they couldn't bear each other. They can quarrel about anything.
After knowing this, I got the right medicine, because I have always been the pride of my parents, and they will agree with many of my opinions. So every time the two of them have any problems, I first express my opinions, let them have a reference, and give them some buffer period, and then affirm the advantages and disadvantages of their various ideas to each other, so that they can understand the problem, fortunately, my dad is a reasonable person, some things are clear, he is not bothering with my mom, at this time I will encourage my dad more, encourage his generosity, although my mom she is not convinced, but she is happy in her heart.
Sometimes if they quarrel and the cold war is too strong, I have to use my big move, that is, to continue to weave bigger lies, sometimes I will suddenly pretend to be sick, pretending to be presentable, and deliberately let my parents know, at this time they are all anxious, send me to the hospital together, and when I get to the hospital I suddenly say, I seem to feel better, suddenly hungry, if you can give me a big meal I estimate that it will be all right, my parents know at this time that I am lying. We went to have a big meal together, and the family at the dinner table returned to their old days of loving each other.
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The frequency of parental quarrels is very high, which does affect the family atmosphere, and as children, we may need to exchange ideas with our parents more.
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I remember when I was a child, my parents always quarreled over some trivial matters, and there was no major contradiction. I'm innocent......
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In life, many parents will quarrel every day, which affects their children's learning and life. If so, I will definitely find a time to reconcile my parents' knots in private, and I will also express my sadness to my parents. <>
You must know that there are many cases of middle-aged male and female friends quarreling, because the children are already old at this time, so there is no need to worry about the children's psychological and learning problems, so because of a trivial matter, there will be frequent quarrels, and the situation is getting more and more intense. So at this time, you can find a time in private, a family of three to sit in the living room, and let the two parents bring all the points of anger and quarrel to the table, so they can mediate accordingly according to these problems. You can also tell your parents in the tone of a little adult that there is no marriage without quarrels, only people who do not quarrel, and when they encounter small things, they must solve the matter, and there is no need to quarrel, if there are frequent quarrels, it will also give outsiders a situation of family breakdown.
In addition, it is also possible to separate the parents for a period of time, so that the two people can experience the difficulties of not having the other half. Although you will be very happy and happy when you first separate, after a long time, you will miss each other's goodness, so the probability of two people reconciling will gradually increase. After all, two people are together every day, and quarreling because of a little trivial matter is a very bad situation, and it will also affect their own work.
In addition, tell your parents about the disadvantages of quarrels, which will cause your blood to rush up to the top of your head, and if you do not relieve it or continue to break out at this time, it is likely to cause your intracranial pressure to rise, so fainting will occur. Therefore, in life, you must tell your parents what you think, such as what kind of changes you have to make once you quarrel, so that your parents will not quarrel frequently for the good of your children.
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If you want to effectively reconcile the emotional conflicts between your parents, you should do a good job of coordination, you can talk more about their advantages between parents, and then you can also take your parents out to travel, so as to alleviate their bad emotions and effectively stabilize their feelings.
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I think you can first understand the reason for your parents' quarrel, and then you are holding your parents' hands and asking them to sit down and talk.
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Then you should communicate more with your parents and let them see the problem from someone else's point of view. Also learn to tolerate some of the shortcomings of the other party.
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<> parents don't get along, they quarrel every day, and they want their parents to break up, what should they do? The parents are emotionally discordant, often quarrel, and have a long-term cold war, they can't break out of such a half-dead marriage, and they are the most uncomfortable. As a child, I am helpless, I see it in my eyes, I am anxious in my heart, what should I do?
Family and everything is prosperous, it stands to reason that they are old husbands and wives, they have seen through everything and figured it out, they should be considerate and tolerant of each other and live a good life. Let the child feel the warmth of home, be willing to come back for dinner, and be coquettish. Instead of letting the children be scared, trembling, and not even wanting to stay at home for a minute.
I wanted the family to have a good meal and chat, but it ended up being unhappy. The family is a whole, one is prosperous, and one is lost. There is no happiness in such an atmosphere, and as children, they certainly do not want to see their parents' marriage so bad, lacking the joy and harmony that the family should have.
Parents have come to this point, and it is not easy for them to interfere as children. We can only be more considerate and understand them, accompany them more, communicate with them more, try to narrow the distance between them, and eliminate the estrangement between each other. Or encourage and support them to participate in some group activities, metaphorically tourism.
Emotional problems are generally inseparable from personality and friction in daily life. They all understand, but none of them are willing to bow their heads and give in or give in. As children, if they have a good grasp of proportion, grasp the opportunity, and make a match, they should be able to feel what this good intentions are for.
Don't worry too much, after all, they have been married for so many years, they still have feelings, and they are all familiar with each other, give them a little time. As long as they still have this home in their hearts, I believe it will be fine. My parents quarreled, I did this, in front of my father will say that my father is wrong, he should not be like this to his mother, mother pays a lot every day, it is also very hard, as a husband, he should be more considerate and tolerate his mother, and in front of his mother will say that his mother's mistake should not treat his father badly, refute his face, in fact, it is not easy for his father, and as a wife, he should care more about his husband.
If they continue to quarrel like this, it will affect your mood, and you will inevitably be distracted and affect your future. >>>More
In fact, in real life, some parents may often quarrel because of some things, which will actually affect family relationships, as well as affect their children, in fact, it will also leave some psychological shadows on their children, so that they don't know how to persuade their parents, don't know how to make their relationship better, don't know how to make them happy, is they not hard enough, they are not good enough, let them quarrel often, in fact, sometimes many children should doubt themselves like this, right? As the saying goes, every family has a difficult scripture, every family has its own contradictions, in fact, there are some ways to deal with family conflicts, so that their parents do not quarrel, in fact, as children, we should sit down with our parents to communicate well, let them know, in fact, this will make them feel very depressed, <> >>>More
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You must have a good life, the family is not your business alone, you can't change it alone, but you can work hard, I am a single-parent family, without a father, you have to open a lot of money to repay your mother, as for the father's side is a matter of time, he is also annoyed without a job, only understand this word, you live with your father, don't let him beat your mother, because you are a man. Remember, you have to be angry.
Personally, I don't think we should stop it.
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