Tell a few jokes and have fun 5

One day, Xiao Ming asked his mother, "Mom, how did I grow up?" Mom touched Xiao Ming's head and said, "You were fed by me with a piece of." After hearing this, Xiao Ming immediately cried and said, "Why do you give me this!" ”

Wow click.

Omelette fell in love with poached eggs. Because the poached egg sings:"It's a little love song with an omelette.

There is a power outage in your house, and you hit the table in the dark, in this case, you are: a, blame yourself for being careless b, blame the table is wrong; If you choose A, you'll be a weirdo, and if you choose B, you'll be a monster! Haha, you can do it! Hope!

The three turtles came to a restaurant and asked for three cakes. As soon as the things were brought to the table, they found that they didn't have any money with them.

The big turtle said: I am the biggest, of course I don't have to go back to get the money.

The turtle said: It is most appropriate to send the little turtle there.

The little turtle said, "I can go back and get the money, but after I'm gone, none of you are allowed to touch my cake!" The big tortoise and the middle tortoise said yes, and the little tortoise left.

Because his stomach was empty, the turtle quickly finished his share of cake. However, the little turtle was nowhere to be seen. On the third day, the big turtle was really hungry, and they all said: Let's eat the little turtle's share.

Just as they were about to start eating, the voice of the little turtle came from next door: "If you dare to touch my cake, I won't go back to get the money!" ”

The son came home tremblingly: "Dad, I only scored 60 points in the exam today." Dad was very angry: "Next time I take the exam, don't call me Dad!" The next day the son returned: "I'm sorry, brother! ”

Xiao Ming said; "Dad, the computer you bought me yesterday worked."

Dad smiled. Xiao Ming said; "I saw a mouse, so I smashed the computer to kill a mouse. ”

A cricket made a bet with a pig and said, "You can't see me if I jump into the grass," and the pig says, "Shall I see?" And so.

1.A couple was chatting in the park, and the man said with infinite emotion: "I finally understand Einstein's theory of relativity." ”

Woman: "Really?" Tell me about it. ”

M: "'Relativity' is relativity. For example, when I was waiting for you in the park, the time became very long, and when you arrived, the time became very short when I was with you. ”

2.The man has had a crush on a beautiful woman for a long time, and finally can't help but confess.

But the beauty rejected the man and sarcastically said, "I really don't want a flower to be stuck in cow dung!" ”

The man was silent for a moment and said, "Actually, you are still quite beautiful, so you don't have to be so inferior." ”

I have a brother chasing his girlfriend and a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk every morning. Perseverance, finally arrived.

One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with heart-shaped biscuits, and his girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy these biscuits?" I've been to a lot of supermarkets, but I can't get it in this shape. ”

He said proudly: "Of course I can't find it, this is the ...... I gnawed out."

The deaf man heard the dumb man say that the blind man saw a ghost.

When a young man and a woman were dating in the park, the girl wanted to fart in particular, so she thought of a solution: Woman: Have you ever heard a cuckoo call?

M: I haven't heard of it. Female:

I'll teach you, cloth (fart sound) valley (sound from the mouth). After learning a few times, the time to put it has been played. Female:

Do you hear me? M: The fart was too loud to hear.

Personally, I think it's funny.

The structure of the story: the beginning is terrifying, the middle is hilarious, and the end is miserable. Contents: A ghost who farted and died ......

Two adventurers in the United States finally spent 20 years climbing Mount Everest. A said to B. Finally climbed on. Come and give me the flag and camera. I'll keep it as a souvenir. B said, "Didn't you hold it?"

May I ask what Tang Seng and his apprentices hate the most?

A: Winter and summer vacations. Because every winter and summer vacation, they must be forced to trek through mountains and rivers to get the true scriptures again.

4.A newlywed soldier wrote to his wife and said, "If you can, come and see me next week." I'm physically blessed. Second Football Joke: Team Song Zhao Chuan: I'm a stinky stinky stinky foot,

Once upon a time there was a brush,,,,,

One day, I watched the homework of my younger brother Liangliang (first grade of primary school) and found that the sentences he made with "people" were very terrifying: Liangliang is not a person.