Who has funny humorous jokes, share a few, and share them with everyone

A joke is a word that makes people laugh. I've got some here.

Super hilarious!! Very happy with your questions, hope it helps you!!

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, 1 1=?."Xiao Ming said

I don't know. The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family."

Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, and his mother was arguing with others, and Xiao Ming asked, "Mom 1 1=?" Mom said

Bastard! "Xiao Ming knows that 1 1 = bastard; Xiao Ming went to ask his father again, his father was drinking beer, and Xiao Ming asked, "Dad's 1 1=?"

Dad said, "Cool! "Xiao Ming knows again that 1 1 = cool; Xiao Ming went to ask his grandfather again, his grandfather was watching TV, Xiao Ming asked:

Grandpa 1 1=? Grandpa said, "Gangster boss!

Xiao Ming knows that 1 1 = gang boss; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister was singing the national anthem: People who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knew that 1 1 = people who rose up and did not want to be slaves; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister was singing a nursery rhyme:

The little rabbit obediently opens the door! Xiao Ming knew that 1 1 = the little rabbit obediently opened the door. The next day, the teacher asked:

Xiao Ming1 1=? Xiao Ming said, "Bastard."

"Smack" The teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably

Who taught you? Xiao Ming said: "Gangster boss."

The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiao Ming sang:

People who rise up and do not want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out of the door, and Xiao Ming knocked on the door and sang: The little rabbit obediently opened the door.

The teacher fainted. I gave the landlord a cold joke that I felt was cold. I'll give you two! It should be too classic!

Two neuropaths escaped from the hospital, and they ran and ran and climbed to a tree, and one of them jumped down from the tree, rolled and rolled, and then looked up and said to the person above: Hey, why haven't you come down yet? The person above: No, ah、、、 I'm not familiar yet!

Hee Hee and Ha Ha are good friends, and one day Ha Ha died in a car accident. Hee hee went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you're dead." ”

Tractor and BMW drag racing A boss was in a very happy mood after drinking, whistling, and driving on the road in his beloved Mercedes-Benz 600. Then he saw a small farm tractor parked on the side of the road and someone waving to him, so he stopped.

"I heard that you had an awkward falling out with your wife yesterday, how did it end? "Of course she knelt down and begged me! ”

No way! How did she beg you? ”

She said, 'I'm not going to beat you, get out from under the bed!' ’”

1.In the zoo, a small ant climbed on the body of a mammoth, and felt that it was in a maze, so it called out to a small ant that climbed on top of the giraffe's head: "Come down and save me, I got lost in the Norwegian forest." ”

At this time, a small ant on the back of a fast-crawling snake smugly shouted to the little ant on the mammoth: "Don't worry, I'm on the highway now, I'll come to your rescue soon." ”

2.When the monkey learned that he was going to be slaughtered by the young man, he had nowhere to vent his anger, so he smeared poison on his body and said silently in his heart: "Let you eat, let you eat." ”

When the young man saw what the monkey was doing, he washed off the potion from the monkey with clean water, and finally ate the monkey. The young man smiled at the monkey and said, "Tell you, there is nothing in the world that my brother can't eat." ”

The monkey was so sad that this time he really cried.

3.Wukong found a small notebook in the master's baggage, Wukong opened a page of the notebook, and inadvertently saw a few crooked words: Your Majesty, in fact, I still have feelings for you, but as a Buddhist person.

Wukong was surprised and asked the master what this was, Tang Seng got angry and said angrily at Wukong: "What are you doing, how do you peek at my diary?" ”

4.One day, the TV was chatting with the remote control board.

TV: Hey, human beings are embarrassed to stare at others every day!

Remote Control Board: yes, humans always press me every day, and I hate it.

TV: None of us have a water cooler.

Remote Control Board: ? TV: Because the water dispenser has a lot of water in the brain every day!

Remote Control Board: ?

The post-man is the coolest, he has money, a house and a wife, and he also snatched away the post-80s woman;

Men born in the 70s are the luckiest to buy a house before the house price;

The post-80s generation is the most declining, with no money and no house, and even women can't keep it.

The post-60s woman is the worst, she is diligent and thrifty for a lifetime, and finally her husband was snatched away by the post-80s;

The post-70s women are the most tired, they bought a house and worked hard to pay off the mortgage;

The post-80s women are the coolest, directly next to the post-60s, rich, housed and husband.

An instructor overhears a conversation outside the kitchen: Chef says to his apprentice, 'Now you know what to do.'

But the disciple said, 'Is that rape first and then kill, or is it killing first and then raping?' Chef said

As you like, I think it's more reliable to kill first and then rape. Finally, the instructor couldn't help it anymore and ran in and yelled: 'You guys are too much, I'm going to arrest you.'

The apprentice grabbed a fish and said, 'We are discussing whether this fish should be fried first and then killed, or whether it should be killed first and then fried.' ’

A man walked down the street with his head up, and after walking for five minutes, others saw him like this and asked, "What are you doing like this?" The man said, "I have a nose that bleeds without you?" "...

Humorous jokes make people happy, Tractor and BMW drag racing A boss is in a very happy mood after drinking, whistling two neuropaths escape from the hospital, two run and run and climb to a tree, and one of them jumps from the tree.

A black cat rescued a white cat from the river, and do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later? It says, "Meow-".

You be my sun.

Woman: "Would you like to be my sun?" ”。

Man: "I do!" ”

Woman: "Then please keep kilometers with me!" ”

Rob, give me all your gold coins... Quick,Look you're a child,,Tell you a fun,,You search.。。 Day and grass,,The joke,That's right.。。 I'm a robber, ,,, give me all your gold...

Disgusting joke: When I was a child, I didn't eat well, and an old man said: Young people now... It's really ignorant, the boogers we dug out in the sixties were all reluctant to throw away... And one more... Do you want to hear it?

The teacher asked the students to sing, and the first group was Xiaohong and Xiaogang, and Xiaohong sang: "There is a grapevine in front of Amen".

Xiao Gang sang: "Grapevines." ”

When the teacher saw Xiao Ming sleeping again, he called Xiao Ming up angrily and said, "Xiao Ming, do you know how to sing?" There was a question.

Xiao Ming said, "Yes! The teacher said, "Then you and Xiaohong sing again." ”

Xiao Ming said yes and walked up to the podium.

Little Red sang: "There is a vine in front of Amen".

Xiao Ming sang: "Sing it again." (laughs at the end of the class).

Then, the teacher said, "Watch me and Xiaohong demonstrate, you give me a good listen, ah".

The teacher sang, "There is a vine before Amen."

Xiaohong sang: "Sing it again." (laughs at the end of the class).

The teacher was completely dizzy.

What do you say this kid is angry with the teacher? ）

1. It is said that a farmer drove an ox cart into the city and was stopped by the police, the reason was that there was no license plate, and the farmer found a broken wooden board to write a card and hang it, and the police immediately fainted after seeing it, and the card read: Niu X-74110.

2. When I was in high school, once after class, my classmates rushed to buy boxed lunches outside. In order to arrive before others, a girl took a shortcut, but the manhole cover in front of her was not covered and fell! After a while, she climbed up the edge of the well, very embarrassed, a group of junior high school children walked by in horror, she was in a hurry, and said while crawling

Ay! It's so hard to repair......

3. In the school exam, a boy sat in the last row and received an answer from a classmate. This brother's behavior later became a classic for our entire grade: he straightened up and looked at the teacher very calmly, then put the answer paper on his nose and blew it vigorously, and then threw a parabola ——— threw it at the garbage basket behind the door.

The teacher glared at him a few times, and finally did not have the courage to pick up the incriminating evidence.

5. Mr. B went to the store with his two buddies. b with one of them looking at sporting goods and the other at cd. After a long period of time, Mr. B suddenly remembered the buddy surnamed Wen, so he shouted:

Brother Wen, Brother Wen, where is Brother Wen? It wasn't until the shopping guide lady at the ** counter next door walked towards them with a smile that they suddenly realized and slipped away with a "whoosh".

1 Fleck: Grandma is particularly timid. Father: Why? Fleck: When crossing the street, he always held my hand tightly.

2 younger brothers; What is Progress? Sister: There are more things to do today than yesterday. Brother: Dad has made progress, yesterday he smoked and burned a hole in his clothes, and today he burned three holes.

3Mother: Didn't I tell you to close your eyes when you pray. Son: How do you know that my eyes are open?

4 Wife: Husband, it's time to eat.

Husband: Hey, why are you putting so many bowls?

Wife: You'll find out in a moment.

My husband tasted the food: Wow, why is it so salty?

Wife: I made a mistake tonight, and I put too much salt. The bowl is full of boiled water, wash it in the first bowl, soak it in the second bowl, and bubble it in the third bowl, and you can eat it.

A: Let's both talk about a flower at the same time and see if there is any tacit understanding.

B: A flower.