How to solve the tension between mother in law and daughter in law in the process of raising childre

and my mother-in-law said in advance, "Mom, if we have any conflicts because of our children, then I hope it will not directly affect our feelings, because our starting point is for the good of the children, but the management methods are different, so let's be considerate of each other." That's how my family is, and I usually get along with my mother-in-lawDon't beat around the bush, just say it if you have something to sayFor the children, if you are taking the children together, there will definitely be contradictionsThe suggestion is to use your brains to find a way to solve the contradiction as soon as possible, and it is not recommended to backlog. For example, the matter of making milk powder, I will rush it proportionally, but the old man's concept is that I have raised children, and I can still rush milk powder, but I am afraid that the child will be hungry and must be flushed more, and the final solution to this matter is that every time my girl yells to drink milk powder, I will definitely make it myself if I have time, if I don't have time, then I can't care so much.

A clear division of labor will reduce contradictions.

For children, try not to do two people to complete a thing together, for example, cooking, either you do it, or your mother-in-law does it, if your mother-in-law cooks for the child, then you wash the child's clothes, in short, take care of the childDoing things separately will reduce conflictsAlso, each other should believe in each other and get along with each other without finding fault with each otherIf the meal is made by the mother-in-law, whether it is delicious or not, whether the child likes to eat it or not, you don't have to find fault, the child doesn't like to eat, no, you can make a new one, it's not difficult. Contradictions often arise from complaints, and once people start complaining about this and that, then life will become chaotic.

Don't point the needle to the wheat, but listen to the left ear and the right ear.

Most of the elderly's views are oppressive, because they think that they are from the past, and their way of taking care of children must be fine, and when you have doubts or even questions, it will intensify the conflict, so what should you do? She said that you just listen, and then you just take care of the child in your way, and she sees that you take care of the child in your own way, and she will naturally not say anything more.

In short, don't let the contradiction between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law become dayless, because the most difficult person to be caught in the middle is your husbandThat is,If you can solve the problem by yourself, try to solve it yourself, if you can't solve it, you can find your husband to help you solve itDon't tell your husband about a little trivial thing at every turn, and then your mother-in-law also comes to your husband and says, oh my God, I suddenly feel that at this time, it really doesn't feel good to be a manSo, woman, you always have to remember that you are facing your mother-in-law, your husband's mother, the first thing you have to do is to respect the elderly, and then, when there is a conflict, then move your smart brain, find a way to solve it.

<> is actually very easy to solve, because your common purpose is the same, that is, to let your children grow up healthy and happy, so the methods of the two people under such a common purpose may be different, which is also very understandable, because the times you live in are different, and the accumulation of your life experience is completely different, so it is actually normal to say that the contradictions that arise from different ways are actually very normal when carrying out a common purpose.

In fact, it is not necessary to distinguish who is right and who is wrong, in the end there should be a way to judge, I think the husband plays a very important role in it, because the husband is always in the middle, he is not only suppressed by the daughter-in-law, but also by the mother-in-law above, but he is also a key hub in the middle, he can pass on a positive relationship between the two, rather than with whom the side is more favoritic, because no matter who is favoritial, the final result will definitely cause the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to become more and more tense, Therefore, when dealing with problems, he can say more good things about his daughter-in-law in front of his mother-in-law, persuade his daughter-in-law more in front of his daughter-in-law, and understand his mother-in-law, so this may enable the two to understand each other more, and I think that since I am a daughter-in-law, I should take the initiative to explain it to my mother-in-law. Explain your position clearly, I personally think that as long as your words and gestures are more polite and behave more like a younger mother-in-law, in fact, you will not ask for full blame.

One. More communication, more exchanges, and unified educational concepts.

In the face of the baby's education, the communication between the two generations is very important. When you encounter an educational disagreement, the first thing to do is to calm yourself down. Think more from the standpoint of your ancestors, grasp the opportunity, and pay attention to the tone of your speech.

At the beginning of communication, young parents should try to express their gratitude and care for the elderly first, and then slowly cut to the chase. Try to put as many facts as possible about expert doctors, so that you can get twice the result with half the effort. In terms of education standards, the concepts of the two generations should complement each other, learn from each other's strengths, and find a balance that is more conducive to children's education.

Article **4 II. The husband should do a good job of "regulator".

The hardest question in the world is, "Your mother and I fell into the water at the same time, and neither of us can be watery, who are you going to save?" ”

Therefore, when the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law have a conflict, the husband is basically sandwiched in the middle and is basically no different from a charcoal-roasted chicken in the oven.

Article**5 In short, there is a hot fire on both sides, how to do it scientifically?

First of all, the husband must be a person who can "carry it clearly", and at the same time have enough right to speak. In principle, the husband should be more supportive of his wife's point of view, and at the same time, when problems occur, the husband should discuss them more with his mother. Even if there is something inappropriate, the mother-in-law will naturally be more tolerant of her husband.

Article **6 Only if the husband can be more considerate of his daughter-in-law, and communicate with his mother-in-law more calmly, the women in the family will definitely feel this understanding, and the family atmosphere will naturally ease when they are in a good mood. After all, the wife loves her husband, and the mother-in-law also loves her children, so they will each give in and the relationship will be eased.

After marriage, I didn't have a good relationship with my mother-in-law, but it was relatively good, although I was also a little wronged, but I was also a role model for my children

On the issue of parenting, the main contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are concentrated in:

Opinions on the way of education and educational goals are different, the general old people are their grandchildren, granddaughters are pampered in every way, thinking that the children are still young, to coax to come, what the children want, food and clothing everywhere to take care of in place. Most mothers think that children should not be so pampered and learn to be independent as soon as possible, of course, there are a very small number of grandmothers who want their children to be independent, and mothers are too fond of their children;

Both parties believe that they have given a lot to their children and should have the right to educate them;

When both parties are interrupted or stopped by the other party when educating their children, they will think that their contributions to the children are not respected by the other party. This situation mostly occurs in mothers-in-law, who think that their daughter-in-law does not respect themselves.

Father's lack and inaction on the issue of children's education.

In response to the above problems, there are naturally the following solutions:

Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should respect each other's efforts for the child and understand the way the other party loves the child.

When there is a conflict, both parties should deal with their emotions, avoid positive conflicts, and communicate in a timely manner afterwards.

The daughter-in-law should take good care of her mother-in-law when she is sick, ask for warmth, and let her mother-in-law feel the daughter-in-law's care and respect for her, and be comforted spiritually.

The husband should highlight his role in the family, mediate the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and at the same time must express his position on the issue of children's education, and cannot be ambiguous.

The mother-in-law should recognize the importance of the daughter-in-law to the family, the daughter-in-law is the wife of the son, the mother of the grandson, and is more tolerant of the daughter-in-law; Communicate and discuss with your daughter-in-law more about your child's education.

Set educational goals together, try to be unanimous, or agree in writing.

Division of labor and cooperation, mutual cooperation.

I think the maintenance of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law still depends on the husband, if the husband and you are united, it will be easy to solve it.

It's not easy to code words, and you can give a thumbs up.

Pro, parenting problems lead to tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the solution can be communicated with the mother-in-law, all for the sake of the baby. What is eaten, what is dressed, is not uniform. You can wear something to listen to your mother-in-law.

Listen to the daughter-in-law about the food. When he is a son, he persuades left and right in the middle. What the mother-in-law said made sense, and what her daughter-in-law said made sense.

As a mother-in-law, try not to interfere more with the conflict between the son and daughter-in-law. Keep your mouth shut. It's up to the two of them to solve it.

If necessary, live alone from your parents. Don't live in a piece. It's okay to come to our house with children, please don't worry about young people's affairs.

How to solve the tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by parenting problems?

Relying on her husband, you can't let him be idle.

The reason why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult is that the emotional foundation is not strong enough. When two people with different family backgrounds are together, there are many differences in their living habits and ways of doing things, and they need to adapt and run in with each other, understand and tolerate each other, but it takes time.

When many daughters-in-law are pregnant and give birth, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have not known each other for a long time, and their understanding of each other is still very limited, and the emotional foundation is naturally average. But the husband was brought up by his mother-in-law, and they are familiar with each other's personality traits and ways of doing things, and their decades-long relationship is naturally leveraged.

Therefore, when there is a parenting dispute, it is a kind of wisdom to let the husband come forward to coordinate, and it can also allow us to avoid the mistake of "talking shallow and deep".

Moms and Fathers have the main responsibility for parenting: Parenting is a time-consuming, labor-intensive, physically and mentally stressful affair. Parents should take the main responsibility for parenting and do not pass it on to their parents.

If parents do not have enough time and experience to take care of the baby, they must accept the parenting style of their parents to a certain extent, and do not interfere in everything.

If parents can't accept the wrong parenting style of some elderly people, they should choose a more gentle way to give advice to parents.

At the same time, at the age of about 3 years old, the physical and mental development can reach the standard of entering the kindergarten, and the baby will be sent to the kindergarten to reduce the pressure of parental care and fundamentally solve the problem.

As a parent, you should admit the lag of your parenting knowledge, be considerate of your daughter-in-law, and know that raising offspring is not just about helping your daughter-in-law, it is also a matter for your son, and keep your mind at peace.

As a bridge between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the son plays an important role, and in dealing with the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we should not turn a blind eye to or avoid the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because we are "afraid of trouble and annoyance." Of course, we must not listen to and believe partially, but must persuade both sides.

In addition to the husband and wife taking care of their own children, that is to let the husband, the middleman, play his due responsibility.

First of all, the daughter-in-law must not argue with her mother-in-law head-on, otherwise the conflict will definitely escalate.

Secondly, the daughter-in-law should communicate well with her husband and let the husband communicate with her mother-in-law.

Finally, it is to continue to learn scientific parenting knowledge and use practical results to prove that your education method is correct. Of course, we must also learn to think about whether the mother-in-law's education method must be wrong.

Be courteous to each other, tolerate each other and learn from each other, after all, the mother-in-law is a person who has come over, and it will be more tactful to deal with children's problems with children.

But the daughter-in-law is a person who observes all kinds of situations and takes opinions, and she must use her own scientific knowledge and mother-in-law's experience to combine them to deal with each other and unite with each other in order to better take care of the baby.

Parenting is the primary concern of every family member. It is also a problem that can easily lead to tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If you want to ease the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you can first create a good communication atmosphere.

You can also ask your husband to help coordinate. It is also necessary to learn more about the scientific knowledge and methods of parenting, so that it is easier to convince people with reason. When parenting and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you should also try to restrain your emotions.

First find out what the root cause of the problem is, and then communicate and solve it in a timely manner, you must not suffer silently, the two generations have different views on education, and you must slowly run in.

We communicate with each other and practice effective parenting education.

Compare your heart to your heart, empathize, and communicate more.

When the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is strained due to child-rearing problems, the first thing to do is to communicate with the other party about how to solve the problem, and then deal with it calmly.

Parenting problems lead to tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the best thing to do is. If you want your mother-in-law to take your son for you, then the best way is to let go and let him manage the finger fluid, if you don't worry about yourself, you can manage your son alone, hopefully.

The problem of parenting will lead to tension in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mainly in terms of children's education, grandma's point of view and parents' views may be different, or there is a generation gap, this is on the one hand to respect the elderly, on the other hand, you have to have your own independent opinions.

A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is like a good fate, which can not be sought, if you usually get along well, just because of the concept of raising quarrels and losing children, it is recommended to talk about it, after all, both parties are for the good of the child.